Cell Phones for Teenagers

It sounds to me like she "needs" a pay as you go phone--one she buys herself, and pays for the minutes herself. She ruined the good deal she had with her other mom.

I do think it's a good idea for them to have a cellphone but it sounds like she expects all the bells & whistles & unlimited texting. She doesn't need all that. Give it to her, and she doesn't learn a lesson about overspending her texting budget.

Well, I personally don’t think a cell phone is a necessity for a teen – it’s not a necessity for me. Besides, most of the time they can use a friends phone. I also think $75 a month seems high – I have 3 phones on a family plan, unlimited texting, and 700 minutes shared for $100 a month the 700 is more than enough for us since the majority of the people we talk to are on the same service.

I have two teens – 13 & 15 – they both pay $10 a month for their texting plan. I think it’s important for them to understand that everything in life isn’t free.

I also think there are disadvantages to having cell phones. My kids are constantly talking to or texting their friends. I actually took my daughter shopping one day and had to tell her that if she didn’t quit texting her boyfriend that we would go home. It does get annoying sometimes. I haven’t been good about setting boundaries there. =(

There is absolutely nothing wrong with teaching a child/teen that they have to work for what they have. My kids both work – babysit, mow lawns, pet sit, or whatever to buy their own things. There are a lot of things I won’t buy for them – they have to buy themselves.

Unspoiling is very difficult – good luck with that.

I think it is good for teenagers to have a cell phone but I don't think all the "bells and whistles" are a necessity. I think it is perfectly fair for you to ask her to pay for it herself. I would add her to my account so she at least has the service but expect her to pay for any extras she wants on it. Also, if you provide her with a car I think she should have to pay for the gas. Good luck!
Cara

She is so fortunate to have you. What you are teaching her will help her so much in the future. My first thought is for her to get a prepaid phone. When she has used up her time, she pays to get more time on it. It will help her budget her time on the phone and her money.
I do not believe a phone is a necessity.

I have 3 boys ages 7, 10, and 13. I frequently volunteer at the elementary school and have seen many FIRST GRADERS with cell phones. My 13 year old has been begging for one for years now.
Not only do I think they are NOT a necessity, I think they are potentially dangerous. I have been around many kids older and younger than mine and here are the only things I have seen the phones used for--playing games, playing with ring tones, texting friends they see all day at school or live next door to. If you see these things as necessary...
I also have heard many parents speak of how their children having a cell phone gives them a sense of security. I see children having access to interact with anyone at anytime without parent knowledge. Parents I know are allowing their kids to be out without even having a clue as to where their kids really are or who they are with or what they are doing simply because they feel secure that they can phone them. Cell phones can be useful but in my experience you will be paying for a toy/status symbol for your daughter, not a necessity.

If i remember correctly at being a teenager, my mom always told me i better be where i told her i was going and that she would check. And trust me when i wasn't expecting it she would check. I would set down ground rules for a cell phone. They can provide extra safety and assurance for you. Tell her you can pay half of the monthly bill. She is responsible for the other half and anything else she goes over. This coould be a lesson for her that things in life are not free and that you half to work hard for the things that you want. It is a lesson we have all had to work and it started in high school. I also paid for my car and insurance and my dad was a doctor in town. So it not a matter of money but a life lesson that can be taught.

Good luck

I think it depends.
I am not a fan of them, and we will only allow one that has limited call options... like only a couple #'s can call in and only a couple #'s for him to call.
All this texting and stuff, it's silly. We are raising a generation of children who look down and never see scenery...and will surely have carpal tunnel or other hand issues very early in life.
I think you and your spouse are right. You don't have to pay for it or cater to her overspending on it.
GOOD LUCK

Hi B.,

If your SD is so close to leaving home she definitly needs to be learning responsibility and a cell phone is probably a necessity at her age. She also deserves to be treated in an almost-adult like manner, but sounds like she doesn't have a lot of restraint with the texting. If you pay for her phone what's to keep her from doing the same thing again?

If this were me I would sit her down and explain the family of 5, tight budget situation. Then I would suggest she look into a pre-paid phone that she purchases for herself. This way she is totally responsible for the payment of the minutes and won't be able to go over. Yes, she actually may have to save up her money before she can afford it. Also, you are helping her become more responsible without saying NO. You could even offer that after a certain number of months using the prepaid phone that then you would consider helping her get a better plan/phone once she leaves for college.

~Kerry mother of 2

I really think in this say and age it is important for teenagers to hae a cell phone. I have a 8th grade son, and he has a phone, because sometimes things come up and he has to stay after school to work on something. We all have cell phones..we don't even have a land line at home. I would look into other providers. My son's phone was just added onto ours for $9.99 a month..and I only got the 300 text messages..but if he goes over he pays for it. our bill for 3 phones is only about 100 a month..and that is for 2000 min. T-mobile seems to have very reasonalble rates even for one phone so I would check into it. He does not have internet on his phone but I do. Anyway, I hope this help:)

Good Luck!

go to your cellphones company specially t mobile has a great rates we have 2 cellphones with 400 text messages each phone and 1000 min with the 5 favorites for 85.00 a month it think is very reasonable and is better to have a family plan than a personal plan because in a personal plan you pay about 60 dlls for 1 phone 1000 min and 400 text messages if she has a job she can pay for her phone and if she want tones and ringtones sshe can buy it or she can downloaded from a webpage.

I don't think a cell phone is a necessity. I do have a extra line that my husband ans I keep that the teenagers can "borrow" when they have an to do something extra for school. It is only for emergencies and they are only allowed to call one of us or 1 aunt or uncle if they can't reach us. My teenage children are all my grandchildren who we are raising.(Long Story) My granddaughter's mother has bought each of her girls a cell phone for their 13 birthday. But I know she sometimes has has a problem with her bill being too high. My 2 grandsons have no problem with using the extra phone with our rules. We have had custody of them for 11 years. If they want a phone of their own,it is their responsibility to get one and pay for it. We are on a very tight budget and don't have the extra money for it. Our son in college is on our plan and is very good at watching his minutes and texting. He pays his part of our bill. This is a way we can stay in touch with him. We helped him get a car but he had to pay us payments until he paid it off, pays his own insurance cost and gas. This is what we did with all 3 of our sons. It worked for us this way. We do not live in the metroplex so some of the cheaper phone plans don't work for us. MetroPCS doesn't work very well at our home but works just 5 miles south of us.In our home, my granddaughter has a lot of dropped calls or missed calls. Also check with your school system for their rules on phones.She is not allowed to take it to school with her though.She also has to keep her grades at a B or better to use it. At our school system, if a student has a cell phone on at school and is using it , the teachers will confiscate it. Then the parent has to pay a fine to get it back. If it happens twice, the fine goes up. The third time you can't get it back until the end of the school year. This is in the student hand book of school regulations and discussed at orientation. The principal tells the students to leave their phones in their cars or turn them off during school hours. Hope this helps you.

Get her Metro PCS service. The plans are 25,35, or 45 with unlimited long distance and local calling. Also, unlimited texting(most important for teen). You have to buy a Metro PCS phone which is anywhere from 100-300. We use this service for our 12 year old daughter and we pay the 45 a month. Never a surprise on the bill..it's always 45!
Check it out!
In my house it's a necessity FOR ME.

All 3 of my children paid for their own. It is a luxury. Period. One that, as a mother, I do enjoy becuase I can keep track of them better. But each paid for their own plans. Period.

You and your HUB are right on target! She does need to take some responsibility for the phone and the over use fees. We always told our 3 kids the phone was there for us to be able to call them and them call us. Everything else was extra and they had to follow our rules for it. When they went over, they paid. If she drives, a phone is a safety feature instead of a luxury, but it's also not just a freebee. We got our kids a used car, they paid the insurance starting from when they drove. They also did their own laundry (there's 7 of us total, 3 big kids, 2 little) from the time they were freshmen in HS. I now have 2 college graduates who are off the payroll and one still in college abiding by the house rules but becoming a very independent adult. Many of her friends have lots given to them, she has learned how to get what she wants/needs and knows she will be successful having those skills in life.

I have three sons ages 20,18 and 17. They all wanted cell phones at a younger age, but there really wasn't a need for the phones until they started driving. Personal phones are important for safety measures when they are out driving on their own.
When I was a young driver, my Dad made sure I had a C.B. radio installed in my car for emergency purposes. Although my girlfriends and I would play around on the C.B. a bit there were never any problems and fortunately no major accidents. But if anything happened, I had contact to someone.
For a safety factor, you should help the SD out. There are prepaid cards that can be bought for her, and if she wants more, she should get a job and pay for the features herself.

Definitely have her pay for all or part of a cell phone. When I was in college, I got my first cell phone and I paid for it myself (it was a prepaid phone from Virgin Mobile.) I used it and when I ran out of time on it, I either bought more time or waited until I had the money to buy more time. Also, if she's sending that many text messages, she's probably doing it during school, which is a distraction and most likely against the policies of the school. There are some phone plans out there that allow you to schedule when the phone is activated and when it isn't. For example, you can turn off text messaging during school hours and after a certain time of night. I'd look into that if she can't keep her texting to a minimum.

You mentioned the car insurance thing. When I was 16, my parents gave me a hand-me-down car and I helped pay the insurance and gas on the car. In exchange, I had to follow my parents' rules. i.e., good grades in school, no passengers in the car (except parents and brother) for the first six months of driving. Honestly, I hated that rule back then, but I think it saved my life. I was a fall birthday and turned 16 long before my friends, so as soon as I had my license, I was constantly begged for rides. My parents' 6-month rule gave me an excuse to my friends who wanted to mooch off me and it gave me a chance to get comfortable driving without the distraction of passengers. I recommend that to anyone with a teenager who's about to reach driving age.

A cell phone for a teenager is definitely NOT a necessity. I think having her pay for it is totally okay and necessary. If she makes $100/wk. and the phone is $75/mo., then she definitely has the cash to pay for it. I would definitely have your husband do all the talking on this, though, since you're the step-parent. But, definitely hang in there and know you're doing the right thing!! Too many kids are way too spoiled and come out of high school and college expecting to have everything that their parents spent years working for. She needs to learn how to earn money, budget and take care of herself. The time is coming quickly when she'll have to do it for herself.

I do think it is a necessity for a teen. My 13 yr old daughter has had a cell phone for about 3 yrs. Gradually, we have added features for her.

I know at her middle school, the doors are locked at 4pm and you do not get in for any reason. If she did not have a cell, she could not locate me. There are other reasons to have a cell for security purposes. We have personal codes that we use with each other such as "ld" which is lockdown at school. She keeps me informed about what is going on and I do the same with her if there are any changes for afternoon pickup, etc.

We communicate via text messaging a lot. I have her on my plan with Cingular and unlimited text. I pay about $140 a month for my service. I STRONGLY suggest getting the insurance in case of a lost phone. We have each used this feature. YES, when she lost her phone she paid the insurance fee with her money.

We do not use long distance on our home phones. Our cell has unlimited long distance so any call (mostly me) that would be long distance is done with the cell phone.

Just my two cents worth on cell phones and teens.

Susan

My teenage son (17) works part time and has a cell phone on my plan which is $10.00 additional and we have unlimited texting but if he goes over on his minutes he pays the difference and he does pay for his car insurance, That is his responsibility of growing up having the things he wants. If he wants his car he has to pay for gas and insurance. His dad and I help him out w/gas when he drives here to see me, He lives w/his dad and step-mom w/their 3 hrs away so when he comes down every other wkend we pay for his gas but other than that he's on his own.

I do think that these days kids need cell phone cause things always come up and what if there is an Emergency and something were to happen.

Good Luck and I hope this helps.
M.

My daughter is now 23 and my son is 17. My ex and I would not get my daughter a cell phone even though she was very active and on the go because we knew she was not responsible enough. My son unfortunately has had some medical problems but has also shown great responsibility and gives me no problems around the house so he has a phone so I can reach him. It is NOT a necessity, it is for MY convenience and comfort. When children start feeling it is their parents' responsibility to provide them with these conveniences I feel it's past time to make the kids understand their role in EARNING privileges and conveniences. You're on a budget - don't make your other kids sacrafice in one area so the ungrateful SD can continue being selfish. My parents always told me if I wanted a car I needed to get a job and pay for it - so I did.

Oh my. Don't feed the "entitlement" neurosis growing in SD. There is a sign in front of a local church that says, "God provides the food for his birds, but he doesn't throw it in their nest." I have to think of that sign every time my forty-two year old daughter thinks I should help her out with her rent. It is reality time when the cost inches into a tight family budget.
Honestly, I would want my teen to carry a basic cell phone for emergencys and so that I could locate her in an emergency. Shop and provide basic and if she want bells and whistles, then let her pay for more. Car? My forty-two year old is walking to work after many bad, bad decisions with many cars provided to her. They just don't appreciate things that are handed to them. Teach her now.
Good luck,
C. S.

Hi B.. My son has had a cell phone for since he was 9 years old. I will say 50% of me agreeing to that was that he wanted one, but the other 50% is simply bc I can in contact with him any time he is away from me and the other way around. Another good thing is when he used to go to his dad's (whom I am not married to anymore) my husband and I could just call him without having to "bother" my ex and his wife--which I think she appreciated (this might be a plus for you too when she is at her mom's). My son doesn't see his dad anymore, so that is not an issue--but I still love him having one. As far as your SD helping with the bill--absolutely!! It will make her cut down on text time! But--look into unlimited text. We only pay 7.95 a month for my son's unlimited text--with Sprint. Good Luck!

Don't get her a phone until she can (and does) show some responsibility.

I have 3 teenagers, and only one has a cell phone.

I think they're a necessity, but that doesn't mean she can pay for some of it. Now might be a really good time to do a family budget with the entire family. We're going to do that too (think we're going to use David Ramsey's books) and I hope it helps our teens realize money has a limit!

You could find a cheaper phone service. I have a cheaper service than that and I have 3 teens with 3 phones and unlimited texting (and that IS a necessity with teens).

I think mine is $115/month for me and the kids (hubby has his own plan under his work) and that's not bad. I use Verizon.

Good luck and get her a phone and split the cost.

Hi- I believe it's a luxury, not a necessity, especially since she has been recently irresponsible with it. I wouldn't put your finances in jeopardy to provide it. If you and your husband decide to do it, make her pay for it and if she is irresponsible again, take it away and tell her she'll have to get one when she is 18. Making her pay her way and maybe not have everything she wants is not a bad thing and far to infrequent of a thing these days. Good luck- L.

My opinion is cell phones are necessarry especially if you have a teenager. I would want to be able to reach her or have her reach us in cases that she may need help. For me it is added security. I know we ran around as teenagers without cell phones but the world has changed and it is a great way to add a little peace of mind. My son is 9 and when he stays the night at a friends house or has practice after school I send him with a cell phone in case he needs me. He is not aloud to have it otherwise, but he is only 9. I would most certanily require her to pay for half if not all of her plan. There are so many flexable plans for teenagers and cell phones look into it and I am sure you will find a compromise.

Try Metro-PCS. My husband and I both have a phone from there. It cost us $60 per month, unlimited calling, local & long-distance, unlimited text messaging. It only works in certain areas- we live in Ft. Worth; it won't work when we go outside the metroplex. They also have what's called a Metro acct. You put money into it so when you want to buy a game or ring-tone or whatever, you can use that money. My children, ages 8 & 9, earn money for chores and sometimes they pay me to buy a game on my phone so they can play sometimes. When they are older, maybe in middle school, I plan on getting a phone for both of them and they will get the basic because I think it's a necessity for me to be able to contact them when I need to or when something comes up and they need to contact me. But I wouldn't get them anything extra unless they pay for it. I would suggest you do the same with your SD. Make her pay for anything that's not absolutely necessary for you to contact her and she to contact you.