Car Seats or Seat Belts

I would call the non emergency police number and ask them for their help. They might be willing to have a car waiting at their house when they arrive home from an outing. I called them once for my daughters school; I noticed a HUGE amount of parents were putting their pre-k and kindergarten children in the front seats, some without belts, and the school was doing nothing about it, letting it happen. They offered to come talk to the pricipal, and then if that didn't help position police cars out side of the entrances. No matter what, something needs to be done. When you call and report them, tell the police that you are a neighbor who saw them getting into the car time after time without belts, and you were concerned with the childrens saftey. If you don't want them to know it was you, that is. Good Luck; let us know what you do!

ADD:
Tonight a friend left my house with a 6 year old and a 14 month old. They put the 6 year old in the seat w/o the buckle and the baby in the front seat with the mom. I voiced my opinion on this, and will do it again tomorrow. What are people thinking!?!?

The law is 8 yrs or 80lbs. They are endangering their children. I don't care if you are the safest driver, the other idiots can cause accidents.

Give them an option. Tell them if they don't get a car seat and use it and seat belts for the kids that you are going to report them. To many children are thrown through the windows because they do not wear a seat belt. As far as the parents go it should be their choice if they want to wear one.

I agree with a few people who mentioned calling the authorities. Obviously you don't want them to lose the children, but they need to be scared into realizing that they MUST be in child safety seats. Maybe call the police and just ask what can be done. Could an officer stop by and explain to them that it is the law? To not even be using seat belts is outrageous! Unfortunately, I do believe that they aren't going to be happy with you guys for a while, but the children's safety must come first in this matter.

If they think that car seats take up too much room, then tell them to buy a booster seat where the seatbelt is used to buckle. All it does is put the child in a postion that the seatbelt will work without taking up a lot of room. They are very inexpensive - $40 or less.

Anyone who says that they don't beleive in seatbelts hasn't seen what can happen without one! I have seen this first hand and I tell you that it is your worst nightmare! You should talk to your daughter seriously about this, but not in front of her husband. Maybe this is being driven by him - and my argument for that is he can do what he wants with his own kids, but mine will use a car seat or seatbelt!

Good luck with this! I am very mouthy when it comes to not using a car seat - I have been known to knock on peoples car windows and yell at them for having their child just roaming around the car. It really bothers me. Adults have lived a portion of their lives and they can do what they want, but chilren have their whole lives in front of them - why put them in danger.

Wow! There should be plenty of online news stories you can find and print out about car seats saving lives and vice versa, how the kids would have lived had they had their seat belts on or were in a car seat. Instead they were thrown from the car to their deaths.
This is child endangerment and no longer their choice with current seat belt laws. Sad that you would have to legislate some people into protecting their own children. If I were you, I would print out and give these stories to your daughter and see if that works. Personally I would have no problem turning her in to save my grandson but that's me!!
Good luck. I know this is a deadly situation for you, no matter what you do. I hope you have the strength to protect him as a minor with no voice, before her, an adult who should have more sense.

The 3 year really does need someone to be watching over him. Call your local police (non emergency number) dept and ask for guidence. Without a carseat his little body can't do anything to protect himself on an inpact of even 50 miles per hour. I used to work in a hospital and believe me you don't want your grandson to experience anything of what could happen if he is not in a carseat.

The 3yo s/b in a car seat until 40 lbs; then a booster until age 8. They should all have seatbelts on - the fatalities that occur in MVAs are a result of the unrestrained rear passengers getting catapulted into the front seat & either through the window or colliding with a front-seat passenger.

What do your son-in-law and daughter consider good sources of information? Are they internet people, news people? Maybe gather some evidence to back your concerns from their favorite information source.

Or, maybe challenge them to try seatbelts and a carseat for a month - by then they'll be in the habit, and with luck be wondering why they ever made such a fuss about it.

Approach them when the children are not around, and when it will be as easy as possible to back down. And good luck.

E.

I wonder if your new son in law has ever been in a car accident? I was in a pretty bad one when I was a teenager and I actually came out much better because I DIDN'T have a belt on. That was out on a dirt back road in PA, not here in the city. For a long time I never wore a belt because of that.Then I finally came to my senses! Not to stick up for him, but maybe he had something similar happen. I always wear one now and I've been especially vigilant about my son wearing one. That's my job as a parent to keep him safe regardless of what I myself might do. I couldn't imagine subjecting my child to the danger of being propelled toward a windshield. And I can't believe at 30 y/o your daughter thinks it's OK to go unrestrained. And if safety takes up "too much room in the car"- they should get a bigger car! I would probably have a one on one chat with your daughter about it.(Maybe she's affraid to stand up to this guy?)Check on the prices so you can tell her, but I think the tickets for no seatbelts are around 90 bucks each. It sure would be cheaper to buy a car seat for each kid. I don't think your worrying for no reason. You are being a smart Grandma!
Good Luck!

Hi K.! So sorry to hear about the delimma you are in. I have a nine month old bay girl and I am probably obsessed with her safety. I cringe (and even cry) when I see parents who allow their kids to go with out seat belts or carseats!
My mother has had instances where she has been looking out for my nephew's best health interest and my sister has taken some advice and pushes my mother away when it comes to the rest. I would suggest you have a sit down conversation with your daughter, with out her husband or kids, and lovingly let her know your concern (ie. child safety, obeying the law, etc.) Let her know how much you love her and if something were to happen to your daughter's children that it would absolutely break your heart to see your daughter suffer with that.
Raising children takes a village and the fact that you love her children enough to fight for them is wonderful! Sometimes parents are too involved with what's going on daily to see the big picture. Overall, we hope for happy, healthy and successful children. Providing a safe environment for them to flourish is a responsibility given to all who are involved in their lives. Do what you can. I applaud you!

Hi K.,
I am a Grandma and know how we can feel when what is safe for our Grands is not being done!!
You might try using the mode that they would be most likely to listen or read through & either tell them or print out the safety advantages. (also examples of what has happened to children NOT using a seat belt) Let them know that it is a law and what the penaltues will be whebn they are either caught or (God Forbid) are in an accident.
This is difficult not only because of the way that men are about thinking they are being wrongfully challenged but also because of the intense emotions surronding the issue. Good Luck!!!

S.

Don't be mom, be grandma! It is not worth the risk of losing the grandchildren to "mind your own business". Call the authorities and have it taken care of before the trip. You may be looked at in bad light for a while, but your grandchildren will be safe. Good luck!

This is very disturbing that people can act this way. Let me startby saying that adults are the voices for our children. They can't express themselves in situations like this one. This is not about the parents. It is about the children and protecting them. God for bid if something tragic happened to these kids....how would you feel knowing you may have been able to prevent this. I suggest you contact your local police department and run this situation by them. I would have the police inform them about the law. You can remain anonymous! I have been driving and have seen kids not buckled in and have called the police myself. This is a very very serious situation and should not be taken lightly. It is your obligation as a citizen to help protect our children.
Think of it this way....if you saw an adult hurting a child-physically- would you call the police? Well what is the difference in this case. Getting into an accident, being thrown from the vehicle,and dying.......that is pretty physical wouldn't you say.? Take action and call your police dept today.!!!
Chrisine

Hi Kerriane,
Car seats and seat belts are extremely important, specially since here in the US we drive at such high speeds. However, even in low speeds, the dangers can be catastrophic. Have them look at this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2LFo8vVi04

I got it from a mom on Mamasource and it's so impacting that when I sent it to my friends and family, ALL were shaken up. This is SO important that you can't even get a used car seat now at a thrift store or even give one away over the internet because of safety concerns. Have them look at the link, even if you have to tie them in front of the computer to see it.
Good luck!
C.

That is so scary! Maybe you could have a one on one with your daughter. Your grandson absolutely needs to be in a car seat. My daughter is 3. There are lots of times she does not want to be in it. She will even take off her seat belt but I pull over and re-do it. There are so many horror stories out there about kids and adults not wearing seatbelts and how it could have saved their lives!! Maybe your daughter and husband feel as though they are safe drivers but you never know what another driver is going to do......Definitely have a one on one with your daughter. Maybe start off by asking why they don't wear seatbelts. Note to her that you see kids older than your grandson in carseats, maybe ask what the age limitations are. Example your worry to her. Of course, don't come off as if you are telling her what to do or attacking her, but you can not ignore this.

Does your state have a seat belt law? I would find out, and if so, call law enforcement EVERY time that you know they are out in the car and give them the vehicle description and tag #. Maybe if they are "spanked" with a ticket or two (hopefully it wouldn't take much) they will wake up before something terrible happens. Tell her that they are called "ACCIDENTS" not "PLANNED EVENTS" or "ON PURPOSES" because we don't expect them to happen, and you NEVER know when something will. Is is REALLY worth the risk? PLEASE PLEASE click on these links, and read, watch the videos and send them to your daughter to watch. As for booster seats - everyone who loves their cheap booster seats should watch these videos too. Really, wake up. People spend more time thinking about and researching stupid stuff than what kind of car seat and safety devices they should use for their children. My father used to ride a motorcycle, and he had a saying "buy the best helmet you can, if you have a $5 head, then put a $5 helmet on it!". I guess you could use the same type of thinking for this circumstance as well. Good luck. I wouldn't want to see those parents if something happend to those children because they were too "inconvenienced" to ensure their safety. How "inconvenient" would a funeral(S) be? And think about how much more that would cost than a few car seats.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=azgBhZfcqaQ

www.kyledavidmiller.org

IF it doesn't work to click on these links, please copy and paste them into your browser.

GOOD LUCK!!!!! I'll say a prayer for the safety of your grandchild and step grandchildren.

Hi K. - I'm blown away by this, especially in this day and age when EVERYone is wearing a seatbelt (I recall the days when it was an "option" and also considered "uncool"). It's not only the law, but it really is a matter of life or death. In addition to the videos that others have suggested, the American Red Cross also has videos that can scare them into using their seatbelts. If your daughter still puts up an argument, I would just buy the carseats myself. I know it can be costly, but it's worth it in the long run; you can't put a price on life. Also, the booster seat is NOT appropriate for your 3-yr old. He should be in a carseat with a 5-point harness. Depending on their height, the 9-yr old and 7-yr old should both be in a booster seat. Worst case, I agree with the other mom who suggests calling law enforcement when you know they'll be on the road. I'd like to believe that talking with your daughter about the seriousness of this topic will be enough. Good luck!

Call the local fire department and get their recommendations, they have a specialist on site who is trained in child safety seats. If your local fire department doesn't have a specialist, ask them for a fire department that does. Go there and talk to the specialist and ask them for data and information and present the information to your daughter on her own without the husband.

I would buy him a booster seat. Booster seats are not that expensive (around $20) and you can tell them that they take up no more room than your grandson and if they need the space when he isn't in the car they can put the booster in the trunk. I would even see if you can get your daughter to go with you to a local fire station for tips on installing the booster. Not that you really need help with that but firefighters can tell you EXACTLY what happens when child seats and seat belts are not used.

Tell her my story. I filled my car with gas and was headed across the street to a drugstore. So I did not put on my seatbelt (I was only going across the street!) While in the parking lot of the drug store a car was driving sideways across all the parking lanes. I didn't see her because no one is supposed to be driving there! She plowed into me and I needed over 50 stitches in my head. I would have been fine if I had my seatbelt on. It doesn't take much to really get hurt when you aren't restrained somehow. I also would not hesitate calling the police when you know they are driving without seatbelts. Good luck K.!

I am a mom of 2 boys - ages 4 & 5. My mother-in-law (their very loving grandma) sometimes drives me CRAZY with her ideas of how I should raise my children. However - my kids NEVER ride in a moving vehicle with out being in their booster seats with the backs on. In fact, they start crying if the car moves and they aren't buckled because they know 1) it's the law and 2) you can die if in an accident - even minor.

If I see a car who doesn't have children properly restrained, I call the police with where they are headed, make, model & license plate number. Next time she leaves your house, I suggest you do the same. She doesn't have to know it's you reporting it and they aren't going to tell her. You don't even have to tell them who you are. Just say you saw a car with 3 unrestrained/inappropriately restrained children. Car seats are a pain, and are big and bulky - but seat belts are made for ADULTS not little children. I would NEVER sacrifice and good for you for wanting to do what's right. Please let us know the outcome & Good luck.

K.,
i am married with a very meddling mother-in-law, so i am very skeptical of "unwanted advice" however, you have the right and duty to insist that your daughter protect her children. if she and her husband choose not to do so, it is just irresponsible parenting. but, you need to report them to the authorities. what they are not doing to protect their kids is criminal and illegal. what is more important? to have a "good" relationship with your daughter and her new husband, or the safety of your grandchildren? they may be angry with you for quite some time, but you will have the peace of mind in knowing that you did what is best for the children. do not hesitate; accidents happen.

Ok normally I'd to Grandma's ya gotta bite your lip. this however has to do with the safety of your Grandchild and you need to speak up. Just think how you'd feel if they got into an accident and you never said a word. If it were me, I'd take my daughter aside and in a calm conversation tell her there's something bothering me I'm very concerned about.... If she gives you a hard time you need to give her an ultimatum. Either put the safety of your children first or I will by calling DCF and then go through with it. If she knows your serious she'll probably be pissed, (hello too bad!!) but she may when she gets her head outa her rear realize your only concern is the kids and comply. The upside is your grandkids will know you care about them enough to make a fuss. I don't wish to be in your shoes but I pray you make the right decision and that she does too.
H.

Hi K..
Sorry to be harsh here but isn't it the law that a child under 5 years of age needs to be in a car or booster seat? Studies all show that a child needs to be placed in a car-seat and/or booster due to the fact of their height/weight will not allow the seat-belts to provide them the restraint they need if in a car accident.
For the safety of your grandchild (ren), I think you need to have a conversation with your daughter.
Regards, L.

My name is T.. I have 2 children myself and a hubby. Ever since my children were infants I got into the habit of putting my children in car seats. They still at 16yrs old and 13yrs old wear seat belts.I personally believe that if you have a child small enough for a car seat they should be in one.As for the older ones, your daughter's hubby's kids, they should be wearing seat belts for numerous safety reasons.As for the 3yr old, you might want to check out the law on what age in your area a child needs not to wear a seat belt.I know here in Fl.,all children need to be in seat belts under a certain age, or else it's considered child endangerment.As far as her husband is concerned, if he chooses not to wear one, that's his business but they should be belted in.There are many studies that can be found on the internet regarding seat belts verses no seat belts for children. I'd pull my daughter aside and have a chat with her alone, once you find the studies, print them and show them to her.This very simply could save a childs life. I'd be concerned to if I were the grandma. Good luck to you.

This is one my biggest worries. PLEASE have them read about Kyle David Miller...it's a heartwrenching story, but it should wake them up. Kyle was 4yrs old and his mother had him in a booster seat...well, needless to say they were in an accident and since he was not big enough to really be in that seat because it was only restrained with the seatbelt, he died. It's horrifying. My kids 4 & 6 are both still in 5pt. harness seats and they are HUGE in my car, but I don't care, they WILL be in them until they are 80lbs.
I would call the police and they would get sited with a ticket and points. They might get mad at you, but isn't that better than feeling like you did nothing and god forbid something happened. I hope your daughter can see that your concern is from a deep love and caring. MY best to you.

If it were my grandkids as soon as they leave I would call the police & give them their license plate number. Has your daughter always let her child be without a car seat? If not then why now.

Let me start by saying that this is a very hot topic for me. My hubby is a police officer and also does traffic homicide and has had to deal with the outcome of parents not making their kids wear seatbelts or be in carseats. Personally, I would find pictures on the internet, videos, or news stories that tell what happens to kids in accidents that do not have their seatbelts on. It is the cold hard truth. If the children do not have seatbelts(or carseat) and there is a wreck(it does not matter how good of a driver YOU are) those kids will most likely go through the windshield or out a window.

Not only are your daughter and her husband endangering their children that they are supposed to be protecting but they are also teaching them that it is ok to break the law. This basically is telling the kids that they can do what they want no matter what the law says and as they get older it will be evident in the way that they act. I have 5 children and every one of them get in the car and are buckled up by the time I start the car. Children need to be taught that the law is there for a reason and they need to follow it. It makes me so angry that parents are not teaching their kids that these days. I see it soo often and it is heartbreaking for me to think about the danger the kids are in.

I use to be there. My(6 month old then) daughter would cry so id hold her instead of the car seat till we got pulled over by a cop. He fined us and said next time we get caught they'd take the child away...i don't know if they'd really do it but it worked. If we don't care about the life of a child who can't make a decision then who will? What you could do is...when you talk to your daughter one day and if she tells you she's at the mall or shop where ever as long as you know this call the cops describe the car and they'll scare both the parents plus fine them till they do get car seats. Remember the little ones don't have a voice nor do they know wright from wrong at that age..so GRANDMA and grandpa need to be that voice. Who cares if the cop fines them a couple of dollars think about the life of these kids. And the good part is they won't even know you called the cops. they made car seats and seat belts for a reason because they save lives!

Call the police and report them. You won't be able to live with yourself if something happens, and you did nothing.

I am a grandma myself to a fantastic "almost 3 year old" grandson. He is with us Monday-Friday while his mom works. The car seat is not an option when he is with us, but because they live only a few blocks away, she doesn't always put him in his car seat. I understand where you are coming from. I also have mentioned it & have met with resistance. I had a friend that was stopped at a red light when a car hit them from behind. Her 7 year old son was in the back seat, with a seat belt on. He flew through the air & landed on the dashboard in front of her...dead. I picture this every time a seat belt is not used. They may not listen to you, but keep trying. It sounds like this is something new or you would have noticed it before the "new blended family". Could you contact the ex's & get them involved? Hang in there & GOOD LUCK!