Car Seat - Hillsboro, OR

My daughter was the same way. It was tough, but she eventually grew out of it. I can't remember how long that took, but probably around 6 months.

Hang in there. Its rough, but it passes.

My son does the same thing! He is 10 weeks and screams as soon as the car seat clicks into the base. I've found that he likes the "Baby Einstein's Traveling Melodies" and "Lullaby Songs." It usually takes him 5-10 minutes to settle but then he is okay! I hope this helps, plus the doctor says he will grow out of it!

Hi S.,
Here is a thought, is the sun in her eyes at all? My daughter used to scream whenever the sun was in her eyes. Those little shades did not work, we finally upgraded cars and then had those tinted windows. Hope that helps.
B.

Hi S.,

After two children who were just fine in the car, my third daughter was also a cryer whenever we tried to take her anywhere in her first months of life. I know how horrible it feels! You actually have a hormonal response to your baby's (or any baby's) crying when you are in your first postpartum year--it's a survival response interaction between mother and newborn--so it's actually worse for you than for someone without children or for men. Not that this helps any...

My daughter is now 9 years old. By the time she could talk, we had figured out that she was an extremely sensitive soul--who also happens to be a musical prodigy with perfect pitch and an ability to hear and sense musical nuances that many adults don't notice. She seems to also have a very delicate and sensitive visual sense--light and color affect her more than most people, and her visual artwork at this age shows it. This isn't bragging--this is an explanation of WHY taking her out of her quiet, more "closed in" home made her very distressed. Especially in the car, the onslaught of several things overloading her senses--movement, noises, changing light (which still can be very bright and overwhelming even if she is shaded from direct sun) being strapped in, not being held and comforted during this onslaught--all of this was just too much for her and her only way of dealing with that at under a year was to scream about it!!!

As soon as we began to realize this was her response, in varying levels, literally every time we took her outside, we started thinking about why. That, and the fact that there was a particular CD that we could put on in our room that, even at a few days old, made her whip her head around, get quiet and listen. We made copies of that CD to have handy in the cars we drove, in my diaper bag in case we were visiting someone else's home, and in every stereo in the house. It worked!

She never really seemed to enjoy sitting backwards in her carseat, but at least with that music playing, she was ok. It comforted her in a way that nothing else did.

Her dad and I are also musicians, and wrote a song for her--all about her crying, actually--called "Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!" That was the chorus, and if she was crying anywhere, and we started to sing that, she would also get quiet and listen.

So I have to say, try music! That's not the only thing we did--and your daughter may have a different way she's sensitive. It might be smells, light, moving backwards, whatever. We did every single thing we could think of to make her experience more like being home in our bedroom (she co-slept with us). I gave her the blanket she slept on, and one of mine and her dad's scarves that had our scent (to this day, she sometimes says she loves my "mommy smell", so I know this is part of her sensitivity). I put a piece of cloth that matched the color of our room on the back of the seat she was facing. I gave her the little stuffed toy her sister had given her (a tiny little bear) to grasp. We put a little heart shaped hot water bottle next to her with warm water in it.

I know it sounds like a lot to do, but it worked and I was able to have sane car trips around town.

I definitely second the idea of a carseat toy. One tip: Try something that doesn't make to much noise. My sons grandma got them this Elmo with a puppy, and every time you pushed the puppy it would light up and play one of three songs. Needless to say within a month I knew every song, and it drove me more than nuts because they were always pushing that thing.
The boys always liked the Lamaze ones or Whoozit.

Also just in case buy two or three different ones. Changing them out when she gets bored with one, and just cycle through them. That way you are never caught off guard if you loose one, or if she is just tired of another.

Hi,
I had a baby einstein toy that attached to the car seat handle and it played music.. It had a clear part of the toy that was made to look like an ocean with floating objects. (the music was not too loud either) they sell them at baby r us or online.
Best of luck,
Lenc

I have a nine month baby girl and between 3-9 months we have taken several 3-7 hour car trips. I had to find the same solution. We took a personal DVD player and strapped it on the back of the seat so she could watch her favorite show which was Spongebob at the time. But we just got baby einstines and she LOVES it. We hardly have a problem in the car anymore.

My son is 13 months old and for the first 6 or so months he hated riding in the car--he didn't have any acid reflux or digestive issue--I think he just didn't like being confined. I remember in the early months my son screaming in the car with me sitting in the car just sobbing because I wanted to nurse him and make him quit crying and my poor husband trying to drive with both of us crying. The only thing that sort of worked for us was singing to him--he had one songs that usually worked for a while--Old McDonald (only we substitute his name for "McDonald")...this actually became really fun for my husband and I because one of us would name the animal and the other one had to come up with the noises--you get very creative trying to stump your partner (your other kids might get into it too)...Anyway, that seemed to help more than anything and eventually he sort of got over hating the car, now he sort of dislikes it but will put up with it to a point.

My daughter was the same way -- she HATED her carseat, hated riding in the car. It could be the motion, noise, being strapped in, facing backward and not being able to see you . . . any number of things.

I would suggest getting a mirror that she can look into and see you in the driver seat (you will be able to see her, too). My daughter's favored car toy was a whoozit that we clipped onto her carseat strap.

My daughter is now 18 months and does fine in the car. I think she likes facing forward, sitting up and looking out the window. It's a totally different experience.

Unfortunately it's a phase that will pass, but there isn't a whole lot you can do but make her more comfortable.

I recall an aquaintance that had the same problem with her son. The only thing that worked for her was to run a cordless vaccuum while in the car (like a little dirt devil). Strange, but it worked.

I had a mirror on the head rest in front of my kids. It worked so they could see themselves and I could also see them in the rear view mirror. toys do works too. but me son actually would cry hard sometimes and it turned out that when I placed him in his seat, there would be an air bubble that was trapped in his system and the way he was sitting would cramp/ make sure she is burped good and that she does not have gas, maybe a massage on her tummy to help it move along when you change her before placing her in the seat?

I know this might sound crazy but my son used to do this also. We sang the Old McDonald song with all kinds of sounds. We didn't just have farm animals but lions, tigers and bears oh my. One time, my mom and I spent five hours singing this song while we drove to family for Thanksgiving. Sometimes getting the other kids involved also helps b/c they usually give really puzzled looks after you sing about snakes and grasshoppers. My nephew was just born and does the same thing so one night, my mom and I had him and tried the singing. It worked. We told my brother and it has worked for him. So just something to try.

I went through the same thing my my son, I ended up buying a mirror that played music by remote http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2306396, It helped a little. Also switched him to a convertable carsaet, he seemed more happy, not sure if it was the seat or if he just outgrew his phase.
Best of luck to you!

didn't have time to read all responses so hope this isn't redundant. Have you tried white noise? Turn the radio on to static REALLY LOUD- loud enough to match the volume of her screaming. As she calms down, turn the static down. If she gets going again, turn it back up. This worked great for my baby (now 4.5 mnths old). Running the hair dryer at home worked great too to get her to calm down! Hope it helps and good luck!

Our son, at 5 months started screaming in the car within seconds of being strapped in. The only thing that worked was "Rockabye Lullaby: Radiohead" which is a glockenspiel version of Radiohead hits (they have others: Bob Marley, Nirvana and more). It was instant- he simply stopped crying and listened. From there, we did short rides once or twice a day of 5 min or less (or until he got upset), until he got more comfortable. Good luck!

Hi S.,
My daughter is 4 months old and screamed during every car ride in the early weeks, into the second month. It gradually decreased and I don't know why but it seems the angle she is in in the carseat makes her poop every time we get in the car and I think that bothered her, even though our trips were very short. Usually on the return ride home she's be better. She still doesn't LOVE car rides but I've read (from Dr. Sears among other places) that the car is the one place where it is ok to just let them cry, you can't constantly pull over and she will get used to it. I sympathize with you as we still have days where she detests car rides. I kind of think she might like being in a convertible seat better so I am planning to purchase one soon. I think this because she would cry also in the stroller when her carseat was snapped in, but at 8 weeks I just put her in the regular seat of the stroller and she's so content. I know I haven't provided any answers, just wanted you to know I've been thru and am sometimes still going thru what you are and they will grow out of it.....in their own time. Sounds like you're doing a great job of trying to create a soothing car ride, that's all you can do! Peace & Light. A.

my first did this, but only in the dark. In the day she would 'just' cry.
The other three didn't. They all went to sleep.

one time she screamed herself to sleep after 1-1/2 hours of crying.

Literally, I stopped going places except as necessary until she got over it (forward facing so she could see me definitely helped). And I watched the other kids, who each DID hit the 'nightime' stage, and during that stage, with all four, I avoided driving at night (pretty inconvenient during a NW winter!!).

The dark stage for mine usually started between a month and 3 months and I think in all cases was over by 9 months ... and it was way shorter, as I recall, for the kids whom I caught right when they started, so they never got in the 'habit' of thinking the dark was scary. The last one was only about a month I think.

Turning off the "I need to respond" instinct is harddddddd. But if you need to go somewhere, it can be done, and getting where you are going safely and efficiently is the best help you have available for her if you have to transport her.

I didn't read the otehr advice, but I do want to say that the rear-facing carseats are designed to swing up in a rear collision (look at how it's attached by the seatbelt ... the seatbelt would "hinge" it and the head of the baby would go up and towards the seat back) ... so DON'T put any toys where the baby might be impaled upon them! Eek! (It blew my mind when I figured this out ... because I had been looking for toys, too, for my screamer!)

My child screamed in the car for the first 5 months of his life. There wasn't a toy in the world that would help. We did purchase a CD with vacuum and hairdryer sounds on it and sometimes that would calm him some. But, to be honest with you, I just resorted to walking everywhere for the first 5 months because it was horrifying. In hindsight, I now know it was because he had sensory integration issues which explained why he also had sleep issues (couldn't be put down to sleep without screaming forever too) and eating issues. If it's a sensory issue, she could be screaming either because there's not enough pressure on her (this is the case if she's calmed by things like being held tight or swaddled) or she's ultra-sensitive to touch. If she needs more pressure, try putting a rolled up blanket around the top of her head and if it's not too hot, a heavy blanket on her. Honestly, I didn't try these things because I didn't know my son had sensory issues back then. If I had only known, life would have been easier. I talked to another mom who has a teenage daughter who did the same thing as an infant and later in life her daughter was diagnosed as have sensory integration issues too. It's not a horrible thing unless you don't know that's what's causing your child's behavior. My advice is to try the vacuum or hairdryer sound. There are several CDs with those sounds on it. I think "For Crying Out Loud" makes one and "The Happiest Baby on the Block" does as well. If you can't find one, let me know. If your daughter is like my son was, there isn't a toy in the world that will soothe her right now. However, it will pass. Some babies just take longer to develop through their sensory integration issues.

By the way, my son is now the best car rider in the world -- better than any toddler I've seen. Hard to believe after 5 months of screaming in a car that would last the entire car trip -- didn't matter if we were driving 5 minutes or for hours.

I'd encourage you to talk to your pediatrician. Since you just fed her, there is a possibility that she might be experiencing acid reflux.

You might want to try the musical/light up mirror. It hooks on the back of the seat so that it faces the infant. It enables you to see your infant while you drive, and it comes with a remote control that you starts lights and/or music. I think that you can get it at Babies 'R Us for about $15.

My youngest son was the same way... absolutely SCREAMED every time we were in the car. We tried a variety of things with no success. I did pad his seat with some batting behind the regular pad and that helped a little bit. Most of all, he did out grow it. It takes some patience but you can't keep pulling over and I found that it didn't help to prolong the car ride because of frequent stops. I wish I had a cure all but the real truth is he eventually outgrew it. Patience, and good luck to you - remember, this too shall pass. :)

Lamaze has a whole line of toys that hook on the carry bar of an infant car seat. My daughter liked something that hung down and she could bat at since other skills aren't highly developed yet.
Yes you do feel horrible letting them cry, but that may be a solution.
Are the buckles and straps on the car seat adjusted properly? Just make sure there is nothing that could be hurting her.
Does she like lying down? Infant car seats are handy and comfortable for most, but would she do better more upright in a rear facing convertible car seat?

My daughter had GERD and hated being on her back or inclined because acid would come up her throat. Might run it by the pediatrician.

I would double check her straps make sure they aren't too tight, and that there aren't other objects poking or annoying her.

I am so sorry to hear about the car seat issue. I have a 2.5 year old daughter who screamed herself through almost every car ride up until she was around 1 year's old. Sometimes it helped if we draped a blanket over the car seat but mostly we just walked to a lot of places or drove fast to get where we were going when we drove somewhere. We tried three different types of carseats but nothing helped. I don't have an answer for you but just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Hopefully she will outgrow this quickly!

We had that same problem. I was a shut in every day until my husband came home because the baby would cry and cry in the car. Sometimes, when I had an adult with me, I could ive her a bottle and keep someone making faces at her as we drove. Even in those instances she would hold her arms out to them and cry if things weren't just right. It was nerve wracking.

In the end, we had the oddest solution. At 6.5 month, I had to drive to and from a wedding 5 hours away. My husband was with me on the way up, but he took off from that city by plane to go to another function. The idea of driving home by myself with this screaming monster was so daunting. I couldn't sleep the night I was supposed to leave in the morning. I actually let her fall asleep after her 1 am feeding, loaded her into the car (she cried the whole way out of the parking lot) and then drove while she slept her usual night- full and accostomed to sleeping. At 7 she started whimpering and I was sure that I was in for it. I held off as long as I could before pulling over. She was asleep when I stopped the car. So I got back in and powered through. We made it home.

The next trip was to get milk and other essentials while hubby was still gone. I timed it to leave as she was falling asleep for her nap. Such Relief!! I continued to time my outings for her naps and eventually, the car rides were no longer so hard. She would stay awake and cry for the first 1/2 mile sometimes, but overall the improvement was steady.

I can now come and go from the house as needed, but we haven't driven for more than an hour strait without stopping for drinks or diapers. I just need to make sure the changed/fed/ toy situation is right. If I'm out too long without drinking before we head back and she gets hungry in the backseat , we still get the screaming fit and pulling over means she has to come out of the seat.

She is now 8.5 months. She looks out the window and enjoys the scenery while we drive. Sometimes she sings to herself. I can watch her in a mirror back there.

Good luck. I hope that you find a less extreme solution than putting her into the car when she's asleep!

Hi S.,
I don't have any advice. ut I wanted to let you know you are not alone. My 7 week old baby girl screams every time I put her in the car in the car seat. Let me know if you get any good advice,
sympathetically,
-s

At that age both of my grandchildren sat in the car seat in the house. My granddaughter preferred sleeping in her car seat which was inside her crib. While they were small enough to use the seat that faces towards the back we put them in the seat and carried it to the car. Perhaps having her us the seat in the house would help her to become comfortable with it.

The toys suggested should also help.

My daughter was a screamer--over anything. She finally stopped screaming when she started having some control over her body and was able to do the things she saw others do. So babies scream. It is not that they are mad, it is just frustration at not being able to do what they want to do.

Things will get better but there is no telling when.

My son is 6 months old and experienced the same thing. These are the things that worked for us. We would stick a pinwheel between the mirror we used to see him and the head rest. If he started crying we would roll down the window just to let enough air come in so the pinweel could spin. We also would turn the fan on and the white noise from that sometimes calmed him down. We made a copy of his favorite sleepy time CD and a CD of Raffi music. Whenever, he starts to cry we start singing if you're happy and you know it. I think any song that your baby is familiar with would work. We also bought some of the colorful links toys and have them hanging as a chain across and above the backseat and we have toys hanging of of it. We also tried crinkling a chip or plastic bag. Every time something different would work. Basically we just tried recreating what he liked at home every time we were in the car. Since we have switched to the covertible car seat from the infant seat he actually falls asleep in the car instead of crying. However, I don't know if that is just because he is older or if it is the car seat itself. Hope at least one of these things work for you.

We had a similar problem with our younger daughter. I think part of the problem was that she was getting too hot. Also, as soon as we switched her from the rear-facing infant seat to the rear-facing convertible seat she was much happier. Hope you find something that works for you. Stay safe driving!

My youngest daughter was the same way as soon as she felt the seat she would start screaming! she would not fall asleep in the car and would just scream the whole time. Then we got a new carseat and just like that the screaming stopped and she would either just sit or fall asleep. Good luck!