Can't Read to My Preschooler B/c of Baby

I'm sure the baby isn't up continuously from 8:00 am to 10:00 pm and there is some nap time in there. You could use this time.

You could also put the baby in some type of secure safe device, (a exerciser, a high chair, his crib) in the same room with you, while you read to your preschooler. If the baby crys, so be it. He needs to learn to entertain/calm himself for short periods of time.

And too bad if hubby is tired. He can spend 15 minutes of one on one with the baby a day.

Would he sit in his crib for 5 minutes? I have twins, and we had a lot of trouble reading because I couldn't read to both at the same time. I would put them in their cribs and read to them that way. Put your 16 month old in a crib, and you and your preschooler can sit on the floor by the crib. Then, you can read to both. If the 16 month old will cry, leave him in the room to cry for five minutes while you spend time with your other son. It is not cruel to do that, and you need to be able to read and spend time with your older child. Reading is SO, SO important, which you seem to already understand.

The thing you have to do is get your control back. You have given all the power to the younger one. If he refuses to sit still for story time put him in his crib and let him scream. It won't hurt him. May drive you crazy the first couple of times but 16 months is old enough to be told no and have him understand it. put him in a playpen or in his crib and take some time with your older one. He deserves some of your attention also. He may scream when you put him to bed but 10 is pretty late for a 16 month old its time to get him on a better schedule. Good luck

Are you a single parent? Because if not you had better tell your significant other to step up and take him so you can read to child #1.

If you are a single Mom... maybe bring in the car seat, strap him in... and sit him in the room with you both and read. The forced sitting still may make him cry... but he isn't being hurt or harmed. The baby's old enough to learn "wait", "quiet time", etc...

J.,

Having two children can be really hard when they are both relatively close in age. But, to be able to keep both children from hurting themselves as they get older you need to establish firm rules and consequences now.

16 months is more than old enough to understand the word "no" and your little guy is learning what reactions he can make you do when he pushes the "no" line a little bit more. It has turned into a game for him. If you don't start to put firm boundaries on his behavior now, then as he gets older he will continue to push the "no" boundary and may put himself into a very dangerous situation because he is playing the game.

Your baby also needs to learn how to be without you even for a few minutes. Try playing hide and seek with the two children to teach your little one that he's not in danger just because he can't see you. Slowly stretch out the time that you stay hidden in a fun way so he learns how to be by himself and with just his sibling without panicking.

You didn't mention when your baby wakes up in the morning, but if it is early, then you might want to consider transitioning him to an earlier bed time so he can get the sleep he needs. He should be sleeping 12 hours a day right now between sleeping at night and afternoon naps. If he sleeps until 10 in the morning, then he is probably getting the sleep he needs, but you may want to try to transition him to an earlier bed time so he is awake earlier in the day. This will make it easier for you to get the rest you need as well.

If he is an early riser, then I would recommend you put your little guy down for a nap in the afternoon after lunch. If he cries for more than 20 minutes without stopping, then go in and try to comfort him, but don't take him out of his crib or pick him up. Rub his back and talk to him softly (even if he is screaming), then once he calms down leave the room again for another 10 - 15 minutes. If he is still crying go in again and touch him, speak softly again until he calms down. Over a few days he will learn the new routine and learn how to self-sooth himself, but it will be a rough few days.

If he starts a tantrum and throws his toys around the room, then remove all the toys from his crib for the rest of the nap. If he starts to hurt himself, hug him in your lap with his arms and legs pinned to his side (firmly but not painfully). Calmly tell him you can't let him hurt himself and he won't be let go until he stops the behavior. I had to do this with my son only once right around this age. He learned very quickly that he did not like that type of controlling hug and never tried to hurt himself again. The key is to remain calm no matter what he does or tries to do. You are his role model and he needs to see you staying calm no matter what.

Eventually your little one will learn how to behave politely while your attention is elsewhere. Babies / toddlers need consistent consequences so they know what will happen if they misbehave. It takes a lot of patience and will power, but I know you can do it. I hope you have a Merry Christmas.

C. J.

I had a difficult and ill second child. I understand. There were so many things I couldn't do with my older child. Try recording some books. They still sell simple tape recorders at Walmart type stores that use the old fashioned tape cassettes. Record yourself reading some books in a read-along style (say "now turn the page, Johnny" or "now we are on the page with the picture of the big castle and the horse" or whatever, for example) and put each story book and tape cassette in a ziplock baggie. Bag them separate so your older child can keep each book and cassette together. A cassette tape is pretty simple for a preschooler to operate.

Remember your first baby needs you too.
Older kids can feel a bit abandoned when a demanding sibling comes along.
That the youngest gets all your attention just isn't fair.
He's going to have to learn to share you.
You might get a baby sitter to look after your youngest while you and your older child can go out for some bonding time.

Of course you can't lock your child in a room.
But, you are going to have to figure out a way to put your baby down sometimes. He may cry and not like it, but he needs to get used to letting you do things besides hold him.
If he doesn't want to sit for story time, try putting him in his crib while you read to your other child. You may have to learn to tune him out a bit if he cries or fusses, but hopefully he will want to be engaged as opposed to pulling hair and poking.
If he starts yanking hair, he should be calmly put in his crib and you should walk away for a couple of minutes.
If he is hitting your hands when you try to type, he needs to be put down.
It's the same thing with a little one who bites while nursing. You take the breast away, put the baby down and walk away for a minute or two.
You CAN read to your older child. You might have to do it through some fussing for a bit, but your other child will learn, in my opinion, to rather being included.
You can either all have cuddle and story time, or the little poker will have to sit in his crib by himself while you enjoy some time with your other child.
Pulling hair is not nice! It's a no-no.
Then put the baby down.
It takes work and patience.
I believe you can find a way to have story time with both of them eventually.

I wish you the best and hope you get some great responses.

You are the boss, and at 16 months old your son needs to learn to listen to what you say. "Not now - I need to help/play with/ read to _________" and then FOLLOW THROUGH! If you don't respond to this behavior now, he will learn he rules that house and that is not how it should be. BE THE BOSS. Make him nap! Ignore his screams for attention! Your older child is not being treated fairly because you let the 16 month old make the rules.

A 16 month old NEEDS to be put down for a rest time whether he will nap or not. Perhaps part of his mis-behavior is because he is tired???

And a 16 month old CAN be disciplined as well! If he is hitting, you set him somewhere safe (pack 'n play) and say no hitting, hitting hurts. Walk away for ONE minuted and come back and get him out. Remind him that hands are for helping, give him a hug, and let him down to play. If he is misbehaving in any way that is inappropriate, you NEED to address it! 16 months is NOT an infant anymore. YOU, as the parent, need to teach him what is acceptable.

And set aside a certain time of day where you will read to your child (or BOTH) and DO IT! If your toddler is being naughty while you do it, place him in his crib. Tell him it's reading time and give him some board books. If he cries for the whole 10 minutes, so be it. He will get used to the schedule and LOOK FORWARD to it as he gets older!

Your 16 month old should enjoy being read to too! I'd try a play pen or the crib as suggested below. Or, put him in a booster with buckles and give him a snack and read at the table.

Try reading board books that he might like first, then move on to a longer picture book for your preschooler. If you start with something for him (and my 4 and 5 year old will still listen to board books if I'm reading to their toddler sister) then once he's done "listening" give him toys and read something to your older child.

They change so fast, you don't want to miss out on reading to him too. He needs to start getting excited about books, by 18 months, my kids were into them for sure (the boys even earlier than that).

Good luck!
J.

He needs to nap. There is no way that he is ready to be up that long with out some sort of nap. He's probably clingy and grouchy because he's tired. 10 pm is way too late for a baby to be up. He should be getting about 10 hours of sleep at night with a decent (2 hour) nap in the afternoon. Sleep is important for development.
I don't think you can really expect a 16 month old to sit quietly through a story. My daughter is 16 months and she's just starting to sit still long enough to look at baby books. Dad should step up and take the baby for little bit while you read to your other child.