Can't Get Rid of Daughter's Clothes

I deal with a website called Freecycle. It's located on yahoo. There is a freecycle for most every city. I go on there and list it. That way i'm giving my things to a certain person. Not to a company. I don't want to give it to a place that is going sell it. I'm not looking to make money on it but I'm also not wanting someone else to make money on it. I list my things from my daughter on freecycle and she helps. She's now 5yrs old and i've listed all her old things. I get to pick who i want to have it and it's people that need it. Good luck

KEEP THE COMING HOME OUTFIT. At the least, don't give that one away. My mother kept the dress I came home in and on my 35 birthday I brought my daughter home in the same dress last August. Yes, I said my birthday she was born a week before my b-day and I got to bring her home on my b-day. My mother also saved all the sweaters and blankets that people had made for me and my daughter has adorned them as well through these past 6 months and I have more she will grow into as I did. She has had new ones made for her that I will also keep. I have yet to through anything out but know they will never and I will hand them down to her for my grand-babies someday.

I know how you feel. I also had to let go of all my kids valuables :) NO more space to store. I didn't want to sell them. I gave them to a clinic in DC where the parents in need could use them.
When I went back the bring more, the box was empty.

You can do it.

R.,
I use to have the same connection to my daughters clothing, she is now 6. I also felt the same way about taking her clothes to thrift or consignment stores. It is very hard for someone to understand the feelings you have unless, like me, they have them.
This was how I finally parted with her clothing: My church, Tree of Life, had reopened a church in the White Rock district of Lynchburg. I started hearing the stories of the children who would come in with the same clothing for every service, most of them didn't own a coat or shoes. Some didn't have clean underpants if they had them at all. So I gave everything to the church!!!! My daughter went with me so that she could hopefully understand the meaning behind my actions! Just knowing that I was Giving her clothes to other children in need gave me such a peace of mind that I take all of our clothes and donate them to the White Rock church every month now.
This may not be the ideal way for you to part with her clothes, but there are so many charities that can use those types of donations! Families that have suffered a tremendous loss due to a fire for example.
I wish you luck and hope that this may help you.

Hi R.!

I know your feelings...I am a pack rat by nature! I was lucky to have friends/relative having kids 'behind me'...so I gave most things to them...

BUT I wish I had the foresite a friend of mine had...she savd a few special items from her daughter's wardrobe over the years...made a quilt...and gave it to her as a HS graduation gift!! Even had a few patches from items in early senior year!! Not a dry eye to be had!

I am trying to play 'catch up' here...but am determined to sort thru and do it for my NEXT graduate!!

Good luck!
michele

Hi R. I can completely understand.. I am a clothes horse when it omes to my 3 kids the 4th won't let me he's 15 lol.. and the youngest is my girl finaly & she's 11 months old I have all of he's but I now have friends who are pregnant so I'm keeping a bunch of the ones that I LOVE ( Yep lots of them ) and the ones that I can do w/o I'm letting them go through & some that are in great shapr or the better brands I'm consigning si I can BUY HER MORE.. look at it that way if you consign some of them you can get her more .. . Find a church run org. that helps homeless Mothers that you can give the clothes to that might make you feel better about the final home for them or put an ad in your local paper & sell them as a whole yourself. You can keep a few of the outfits that have sentimental value to you and put them in shadow boxes on her walls with a picture of her in them I hope to do that one day too.

I Hope this helps you with your delema..
Good luck from you pack Rat to another.. PS check out my site.. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/packratmom/

H. Mom to Tyler 15, Nathniel 5, Matthew 3, & Laken 11 Mo.

I agree, it is hard to let the clothes go because every time you see them you remember when your little one wore them. I give my outgrown clothes to friend's children because I can still see them being worn and loved by their kids. Their children get very excited when I send over a bag for them and can't wait to wear them because, "they were Julie's clothes" and they love julie!! If you don't have friends with younger children though I would suggest donating to an organization where again you know your special things will be loved and appreciated. A shelter for abused women is usually my choice because after everything they and their children have been through every act of kindness is most appreciated and you know the things won't just be "warehoused". When you know that the things you loved so much are truly helping others and still being treasured by someone else it makes it so much easier. But hey, who said you have to get rid of them now. Unless you really need the room I don't see how holding on to them a little longer is going to hurt if it is that difficult for you.
PS. your Mom is right about pulling special pieces. I still have one or two Christmas dresses hanging in the back of the closet.

Here are some ideas:
1. Photograph your daughter with the clothes. Take a photo of her with the one year old clothes, the 2 yr. old, etc. I have a friend who does this with her daughter's artwork each month. Since it's not possible to keep it all, this is a way to keep a record of her daughter with masterpieces.

2. You could cut out squares from the clothes and make a quilt or several quilts.

3. Is there someone you know who has a child who needs clothes? Or donate them to a church or other organization that helps needy families. We often give our clothes to our neighbors, then I get to see the clothes again while that child is wearing them. We actually had a well-loved skirt go to 6 girls in the neighborhood!

R. -

Getting rid of clothes is like getting rid of memories. Why don't you keep some choice peices, sew them onto some fabric and make a keepsake blanket for your daughter's bed of her baby clothes? My mother did that for me and I cherish it. Another suggestion is compile all the clothes into sizes and sell them on ebay or craigs list. Then you can take the money and rebuy new clothes and create new memories. Besides, letting go is one of those things we as mothers need to learn to do. Chalk it up to practice for when you have to let go and send her to kindergarden!!! That's the day I dread.

L.

Hello R.,

What about taking some of your favorite ones and using them to make a quilt or a tapestry? You will be able to snuggle up with it, look at it, and remember when she wore those items.

We lost our mother last year to cancer and my oldest sister had "lap quilts" made for each of the 4 siblings. I have mine hanging as a tapestry in our family room. It is very colorful and brings comfort when I miss her.

I don't know if you do scrapbooking, I don't, but you could always cut and glue swatches and frame some of your daughters pictures?

Hope this helps.

Patty from MD, mom to Luke (6 yo) Ryan (25 yo) and blissfuly in love with mdh Eric.

I let myself keep one baby outfit for each of my kids. I figure I have lots of pictures of them wearing their cute clothes. I donated a lot of clothes and things to a teanage pregnancy center. If I had a close friend having children I would have loved to give them to a friend. You could also sell or give them away on Craig's List. Think of another family getting as much joy out of them as you did.

I agree with Viki L. Find a local women's shelter. These women often escape abusive mates with only the clothes on their backs and so do the children they escape with. Many times this is at night and they have on their bedclothes. Also, orphanage homes are a worthwhile thought. Contact Social Services and see if the Foster Care candidates need any of the things you have. My daughter is now nine and I still have her "swadling clothes" from the hospital and a few special things like a cap and jacket my best friend knitted. My daughter likes to take these things out and wonder how she was ever that small. It is really cute.

R.,

It is very hard to let go of things like that. You could pull out your favorite things and have someone or yourself,make a quilt with them ( that's what I'm doing ). That way I can have a quilt that means something for my daughter and full of memories. If you don't want to take the rest to consignment or goodwill you could sell everything else on craigslist.com.
You will get more money for them that way. Hope this helped. Good Luck!!! B.

You can start by joining the Yahoo Group - Freecycle, which has a worldwide membership dedicated to keeping good stuff out of our landfills. You join the group in the city you reside in and then you can post the clothes you are wanting to get rid of. Or wait for a "wanted" post for the particular items you want to get rid of. This way you know that the clothes will be going to someone who needs them instead of to the dump. Usually freecyclers are frequently providing items for each other on a daily basis. Freecycle is not a place to sell or trade items. It is strictly for free. You might want to take pictures of some special pieces so you can put them in a photo album. Or like me I kept a little two piece red polka dot bikini to put in a shadow box for display. Or you can take some special dresses and make a quilt out of them by embroidering them to a coverlet. Good luck.

Oh, honey! I understand...it seems like every onsie and little sock are precious not to mention I see my little one in them when ever I look at them. From the 'coming home' outfit to the sun outfits. I have a 4 year old as well. It tugs on your heart strings. I still have all of my clothes too, I have used them again since I had another little one Dec of 05 and we aren't 'done' having babies. But the thought of selling or 'giving' the clothes away hurts. I don't know why but it does. I recently misscarried and before that started to get the newborn things in order (really early but I was being proactive, for once).

A few ideas for the clothes...1.since you have girl clothes maybe buy a special doll and the littlest clothes can be the 'baby' clothes. 2.Keep the special outfits for your daughter's babies (my mother did this, I have about 20 dresses IF I ever have a girl) 3.If you scrapbook, lay them out and take a picture of each outfit fill the frame as much as possible. When the you get the pictures back cut the clothes out and put a few per page like on a clothes line and journal about them what you feel when you see this piece or what you see her doing, maybe include a picture of her wearing it. You can make an entire book like this and then you always have the little clothes. 4.This one would be the hardest...but you could always have them, make a quilt out of them,(I have a few things that got really dirty and I couldn't get the stains out but I wanted to keep a piece of it so I cut a square or two to make a quilt with.) You could make it for her or you (what a sweet thing to cuddle with) and there's always a patchwork teddy bear or doll. It would be a sweet keepsake.
The ones you can't part with don't. If you have the space who cares? My oldest found one of his 1st booties the other day and had it up against his foot and said, "Mom whos are these?" I got really teary eyed! Because I all of a sudden saw how much he had grown! They are always nice to have to see how much they have grown. Maybe someday you will find someone that has a need and you can share your blessings with them. But hopefully I gave you a few ideas that will help.

I am the same way. I am an older mom also and my daughter is 5 now. I have a son but he can't wear pink. What I was told to do is get a large bin and go through all the clothes and everything that is good or sentimental put in the bin and take the other stuff and put it in a bag. Find someone you know and like that has a young daughter that could use the other stuff. If you look carefully at the clothes there will be some things you can part with. It does not have to be alot. Its a start. Then next year you could do it again until you just have one bin full of clothes and then save that bin forever.
M.
M.

I can relate to your situation. I am the first time mom at age 41(2007). My girl will be 1 in March.
I would love to take your daugther's cloths whatever you are ok to give. I will appreciate them for sure. Those cloths are blessed with lots of love.
Please reach me at ____@____.com if you want to contact me. Thanks and good luck. Lin

Hi there, I feel your pain!!!!! I hate changes and I'm attached to stuff like you would not believe!!!! However, I think you should listen to your Mother!!!! I think part of you is hangin' on to things b/c your baby is not a baby anymore.... She is growing up fast!!! And I know how we all wish, that we could just stop time for a little while to have them at each stage a little bit longer..... (The whole "growing up" is a lot faster the second time!!!!!) But I think you should take only the ones, you really treasure and I think find some friends (or relatives, or friends of friends) you can pass things down to. That will make you feel better knowing how much (that someone else) will appreciate it. I have 2 girls (6 and 3)and I'm still happy to dress the little one in the "big" ones old clothes. I have gotten lots of hand me downs from friends and family, and I've passed the out grown things to people and it is a special feeling to see "their old" things on other kids all over again......
Good luck, Agi

I understand that you don't want to get rid of your daughter's clothes. Do you plan to have any other children? That i swhy we kept our son's clothes or sooo long. We did have another baby, a girl 7 1/2 years later. I ended up getting rid of 90% of what I had kept. I gave the majority of it to a friend's neice that was having a boy. Now that my daughter is 6 months old I don't want to get rid of her things. We don't plan to have any more children. I will eventually go thru her things and keep what I want for her storage bin, like we have for our son. Keepsakes.
I am planning on selling the rest of her things on Ebay...maybe you could do that! I know how expensive baby things are and alot didn't get used, they have alot of value and I wouldn't give to a thrift store either.
Good luck going thru her things and only keeping a keepsake bin worth, if that's what you feel like doing!
Hope this helps!

I can relate to your situation. I did the same thing, after I had my first child (a daughter as well) I saved every piece of clothing she outgrew. I had several of the HUGE storage bins that were stuffed with clothes. When we had our second child (who was a boy and could not wear most of the things) I realized there was no way I could continue to save all of her stuff, plus then all of his stuff. It will soon take over your house!!! I finally decided to just save a few extra special items, such as the outfits they wore home from the hospital. Is there anyone you know that is having a baby girl? I gave my children's clothes to friends that have children younger than mine. I love seeing their kids wearing my kids old clothes, it brings back memories of my own child wearing them. It also makes me feel good to know someone else got use of them since children wear things for such a short amount of time. I know it's hard to let go, but it's really not about the clothes. You are wanting to hold on to those memories, and you will always have them even if you don't have the clothes. I'm sure you have lots of pictures of your daughter in all the various outfits, and hopefully videos too. Another thing you could do is pick out some favorite outfits and have them put together in a quilt or something as a keepsake for those times when she wore all those cute little baby outfits. It's so emotional to watch your kids grow up and "let go"...everything you're feeling is very normal.

What I do with my daughters clothes is donate it to Good Will. I write down everything I am donating & the resale value according to Good Will. They will give you a receipt, attach it to your list of what you donated. This way you take it off your taxes & someone else can get some use out of it too!

R.-
You can contact a children's consignment store. Check your local listings in the yellow pages or on line. We have a few in our area of Maryland. You can either donate and recieve nothing in return or sell to the consignment for a fraction of their worth. Be sure that the clothing remains in good condition.
If you that does not work for you, contact your local family services department to see if they accept children clothing, baby items etc. Families in need may really need them. You can also check on your Navy installation (wife groups/family services, etc.)to see if they accept gently used clothing etc.

If you search hard enough you will find someone who needs it. Churches, Salvation Army, Good Will just to name a few of the favorites are always willing to accept your donations. Who knows you may have a younger cousin who is now expecting their first child ask around.
Finally, check with your husband's department, they might be involved with some type of community service program that may meet your needs.

Have a great weekend.
KB

Hi R.,
Maybe you aren't ready to part with the clothes, and as long as all her stuff isn't taking up valuable space in your home, that's ok. Your mom's idea of keeping a few favorite outfits seemed like a good idea. If it breaks your heart to see your daughter's outfits in a thrift store pile, donate them to a needy family. I know that the Baltimore Crisis Pregnancy Center is always thankful for baby clothes that are in good condition.

Hello R.,

I hope you are having a great day! How blessed to be full of so much love for your daughter that everything you have draped her with [an extension of your love and protection]
needs to stay with you. I am so sorry to hear of a miscarriage. You clearly have so much love to give a child.
Perhaps you could spend some time sorting the clothes you have kept by some method; your very favorites, play clothes of a certain size range, fancy dresses, cool weather, hot weather, etc. and store them that way for now. You may want to take one of the containers from time to time and just remember that time in her life with you. Engulf yourself with the rich memory of looking at your daughter, feeling her touch, remember the smell of that day [were you cooking or outdoors?].
Allow yourself to enjoy it all, over and over.
Perhaps at a later time you will be content with less of the clothing packages, and be ready to pass them on in a way that is comfortable for you.
I kept my son's things until he was 5 or older, when we were clearly in another stage of his life. As long as you have a place to keep them, why not? I have kept several special pieces to me all this time...he is now 24.
Bless you for being such a loving mother.
E.

A girlfriend of mine did the coolest thing. She cut 4 x 4 squares out of all the clothing and made a patch quilt. It came out so awesome. You can make it as big or small as you like. Maybe even more than one....one for you and one for you daughter to take with her one day. If you aren't very crafty, then maybe you could still have someone else do it for you. Good luck. PS...I still have all mine too....lol.

You should donate them to the red cross or some other organization. You will get a full tax write-off and they will be put to good use. I think your mom is right about picking out your favorite ones and keeping them and donate the rest.

Why not pick out your favorites and then take them to someone to make a quilt out of them. Also, if you belong to a church they usually go to people too poor to even go to the thrif store and buy used clothes. Then you know they are going to someone who really needs them and they will be appreciated and not just thrown on a table.

Have you thought about maybe getting into sewing/quilting, and taking all of these sentimental clothes and turning them into a sentimental quilt that you could use? Cut squares or whatever shapes needed out of the clothes, and put it all together! That is something I wanted to do with all of mine, but I just never got to it. I eventually went through all mine, and ended up keeping the ones that were really special to me (still a large rubbermaid bin full), and gave the rest to either people I know that needed them, or a second hand store. I think that it is okay to keep them, but maybe figure out a way to keep them that would be more useful...such as turning them into a quilt for your bed, the couch...or to hang on the wall. Things like that! Plus, if you don't already sew, might get you into a fun new hobby!

Use your favorite pieces to make a quilt. If there is something sentimental, then keep it in a rubbermaid box, and quilt some of the other pieces. Offer the non-special pieces to a woman's shelter or a friend who can use them. You can hand the quilt down to your daughter when she gets old enough to appreciate it, or when she leaves for college. Better yet, make two, one for you to keep and one for your daughter. I have very limited sewing skills, but quilts are fairly easy, or you can pay some one to do it for you.

I kept a few of my daughter's first things. I kept her first dress, shoes, tennis shoes, some bibs, and some other things. I then purchased shadow boxes and made a display of them which hangs in my living room. It is sad to see them grow so fast, but also amazing to see them grow and all the things that they go through along the way. My daughter is now seven and I do not think that I able to have any more children so I cherish every thing about her. About getting rid of her things though instead of giving them to a thrift store you could always freecycle them through the yahoo groups or sell them at a consignment store. That way you know they are going to someone who needs them if you freecycle them and you are getting something back from them from the consignment shop. You are getting rid of the old to bring in the new. You can also see about taking the clothes to a womens shelter as well for any kids who stay there. You can have your daughter help and explain to her that they are going to someone who needs them more. She can be your support and the since of pride and joy she will recieve from knowing that she is helping someone else out is the best gift of all. I did this with my daughter after hurricane katrina and she was going through her toys and getting rid of things that she really cherished to help someone else out. That was the most selfless act I have ever seen before. Children are amazing and they understand more than what we really think they do. Anyhow, I hope my advice and all the advice that you have recieved thus far helps you out. Good luck!

So keep them already! I don't mean everything, but a few favorite or especially pretty things won't hurt.
I became a mother at 32 and one of the coolest things my mom did for ME was to send me a box of my old baby clothes (she had the same problem you do; the fact that we were military and had to clean out and move several times didn't change that :). I was born in 1976 so we're talking polyester jumpsuits - I absolutely loved it! I also loved telling people that 'that cute dress my daughter is wearing was actually mine.'
I know that I always feel better when I can give something of mine to a friend rather than just dump them at the thrift store. Give the things that you DON'T keep to someone that you know will use and appreciate them.

Hi, R.. I think your mom has a good idea. Maybe together, you can look through the clothing and pick out the most cherished items. As for the rest, you may consider donating them to a women's shelter, church group, or some other worthy organization always in need of children's clothing. Perhaps it would help you let go, knowing that the clothes (and the "good vibes" from your happy times with your daughter) are benefiting someone who needs them (and who needs "good vibes" too!). All the best.

Hi R. -

If you do end up deciding to donate the clothes, a great option would be to post an ad on freecycle and explain the situation, indicating that you'd really like them to go someone who is in need. It's a great site and it's local to your area - you just register at www.freecycle.org and then find your neighborhood and post the ad. There are so many people out there locally that have a need and would love to receive your baby's clothes - AND they would appreciate them as much as you do. If you felt like you wanted to meet whoever was receiving them, this is also a great way to do it b/c they will come to pick the items up from you. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best!

I see this post is a year old. I was wondering what happened.
I too have the same problem. I cannot bear to part w/ my kids clothes. Its driving my husband nuts having all these boxes lying around. I wont even let him put them in the attic or the garage. So they are in my daughters room and closet and in our spare bathrooms tub. I have a total of 15+ boxes, but a few of them are my sons clothes as well. ITs insane.
I did however pick out some of the better clothes and try to sell them at www.danisduds.com, or at a yard sale or other consigment sale. Even craigslist would work. I felt like if someone else was willing to pay for them they would enjoy and respect them. No way can I donate to good will and have them possibly "trashed".
So I totally get where you are coming from. It even makes me cry going thru the baby clothes. Just remembering my babys wearing them and knowing I will never have another.I hope that you have found comfort and a solution. Please share...

Put it on Craig's List or Ebay. Then you know they will be used lovingly buy someone who really wants them...and your reward for doing this is money to buy more clothes!!

look at your area consignment sales. Some churches do thema dn some ptos. You can make a nice profit.

Have you looked for other places to donate them? Instead of thrift stores you could call women's shelters, and homes for pregnant teens. You mentioned your husband was retired Navy...There are probably lots of young, military wives who wouldn't mind used baby clothes. Maybe you could contact some of the Navy wive's clubs and see if they can find a good home for your clothes.

This way you can be sure the clothes will be cherished by another mother instead of sitting in a dark box in your own attic or garage.

My daughter is 6 and I STILL have all of her stuff. I've had two boys since and hubby has cut me off from having more. :) Her clothes are in fabulous condition because I spent the money on expensive clothes and took a lot of care of them thinking I'd pass it down to the next child. Obviously not going to happen. I don't want to part with it either, but I just found out of a family in my church that is in desperate need for help so I'm collecting up all of my things this weekend and bringing it to them. I'm sure I'll cry, but tears of joy knowing that they're going to a family in need. I'm keeping the 3T purple suede coat, though! :)

Hi, R.. I know how you feel, but your Mom is right -- just pick out a few pieces that are sentimental or that your daughter seemed to like and get rid of the rest. If you don't know anybody personally who could use the clothes, I would suggest giving them to a Church or women's shelter or have a yard sale. I became a first time mom at 45 to beautiful twin daughters and I, too, couldn't seem to part with anything. But, as we began running out of storage space, I realized that they were just clothes and I had plenty of pictures and memories.
Hope this helps.

Take your mom's advice and pick out a few really precious things, then contact the freecyclers in the area via the web--you'll know the clothes are going to someone who wants them, not just anonymous thrift store bargain hunters. Or get in touch with the Genieve Shelter for women and children(I don't have their number, your church should).
Quick edit, in the Tidewater area Catholic Relief Services has a busy Refugee Resettlement program; our church has helped 2 families to relocate within the past 4 years, and recently collected baby items for another family that was expecting (it was a boy!) and had next to nothing; most of these families come here with the clothes on their backs and little else, it's great to be able to help them get settled.

Hi R.,

Who says you have to get rid of it? Save it and show it to your daughter when she's older. Childen not only love to hear stories about themselves from when they were younger, but they will appreciate seeing anything you have to share. I have a 13 year old son and an 8 year old daughter. My daughter uses some of things she wore on her dolls. Also, I am holding onto a few special pieces in hopes that she will put them on her own baby. But, I hold onto much of the stuff so that I can share it with them. My son got a kick out of seeing his favorite pacifier or the hair I saved after his first haircut. I have showed them their baby shoes and cute little hats they wore, etc. I know to some I may be considered crazy, but who cares. I love my children and they are growing up so fast -- too fast.

Incidentally, I save much of their art work too. Some I rehang if the occasion fits. And, lots of it is tastefully framed hanging around the house - bathroom, bedroom, hallway. They love seeing their art work around. Take care

Wow you have so many responses!!! I am having the same issue with my two boys. I quilt and have held out some of their clothes to quilt blanket/pillow for their children or wedding gift maybe. If you don't quilt or know someone who does keep the ones out you cannot bear to part with and you may learn or meet someone who quilts later in life.

S.

i only did something about my girls' first shoes, made them into the porcelain thing. so awesome, with a frame attached to them and their 1 year old photos. i also saved everything, clothe-wise. now they're three and a half. but i saved them for my brother's kids, and as turns out he had a baby girl last may so now they get to choose what they want.
so, maybe give them to someone you know. or keep them :)

Hi R.! I was the same way with my first daughter. I actually had her baby dresses until she was 12 years old!! I just couldn't let them go. Then, one day, we were cleaning up the basement and she found them and asked me why I still had them. I said, well, they're so cute and they remind me of when you were a baby. She said, first, they're really ugly. Then she said I was weird. I said, yeah, I guess it's not like you will want to wear one of them to prom, huh? That's when i realized I had tons of photos and memories. I felt ridiculous! So we donated the everything to a charity that supports unwed pregnant teens. Guess what? I do NOT miss those clothes! I have plenty of opportunity, trust me, to purchase many many more!!:) Also, I began Ebaying my younger daughter's and son's clothes since just about every piece was from Gymboree. It's very easy to sign up and it is fun to see how many people are watching/bidding. You may want to seperate the items into size/season and sell each as a "Lot". Good luck and have fun!!!

Maybe think of ways others could get good use out of them. I was blessed with enough clothing donations sizes infant to 4t that I've only had to buy socks, a few pjs and a couple of select outfits for my daughter so far, and able to use my money for other things for her. It's been especially helpful since at 21 mo she's going into 3T clothing, but thats another story. Donate them through a church that is bound to have moms who need help, and feel good that another kid will enjoy what your daughter had. Hope this is encouraging. =>)

Hi fellow pack rat! I just got rid of my son's clothes and he's almost 5 years old!! I felt the same way about not wanting to let anything go and I totally understand. My turning point came last summer when we moved and I realized that I just couldn't (& shouldn't keep EVERYTHING). Also, my husband & I are finished having kids and our last baby was a girl, so we really didn't need boxes of boy stuff! If you're planning on having more children, I say keep the stuff...I used lots of boy stuff (jammies, etc) for my daughter even though they were blue.
I took everything to a great consignment shop called Lucy's with 2 locations in Frederick & Mt. Airy, MD. In December I got a check for almost $300!! I used the extra money for Christmas presents. I did keep the things that were really special, like the outfit I brought him home in from the hospital, christening gown, 1st birthday outfit, etc.
You'll reach your turning point and know when is the right time to purge :)

Dear R.,

It's okay to be attached and emotional about your daughter's babyhood! It's still very fresh in your life.

My suggestion is this: the next time you pull out her baby things, be very selective and put those items that have very special significance in a clear, plastic, sealable, storage container (Rubbermaid or Sterilite makes excellent ones). (Choose a storage container of reasonable size but not a gargantuan one.) Label the container with your daughter's name, and "Birth - Kindergarten." This has now become the (hopefully, one and only) memory box for those years. Obviously, there should be room for 2 more years of very special momentos.

The remainder of the items can fall into 2 categories: the ones you're not willing to part with ...yet, and the ones that you would love to see someone else enjoy. Put all the items you're undecided about in a box, seal it, and put a label on it that says "open on (a date a year from when you're packing it up)," put it away and forget about it until then. Those items you're willing to let go of need to find a good home for you to feel good about letting them go. I suggest a women's shelter or a residence for expectant teenage mothers. (Contact organizations or churches in your area for possibilities. One church-sponsored home I know of gave a "baby shower" for the pregnant girls in their care with most of the gifts, including donated clothing, collected by church members.) You will know when you find a place worthy of receiving your daughter's clothes.

As for the box packed away with the date on it, I believe you will find as more time goes by, that your attachment will lessen to all but a few favorites. I have found it helpful to repeat this process a few times over the years, and it works very well for others I've suggested it to.

I now have 3 storage containers on my basement shelf that contain the memories and special momentos of my wonderful son, a high school senior. Sometimes I'm amazed that I was able to condense it so! I am grateful though that the next container of college memorabilia will be his to collect, contain and keep to share with his children someday.

Good luck, R.!

CJ (Mom to an 18 year old, small business owner & professional organizer)

Sell on ebay if you think it has good cash value...then use the money to buy new and equally lovely things for your daughter. Or, give to a shelter for abused women or other such group where you know they will really need and value your gift. Or give to a friend. But do keep a few of your sentimental favorites...you could start by giving away a few of the things you least favor, and kind of make it a gradual thing.

Certainly keep a few pieces (and give them to your daughter once she has a daughter in 20+ years.) You can maybe find a friend to take them, or sell them on Ebay and use the money to treat yourself to something special (salon visit, spa visit, new shoes...) That way you have full control over where they go and know that someone actually WANTS them.

I take all my daughter's clothes to Classy Kids Consignment and every time I get ready to take them I feel the same way you do. Any money made from the sale goes into my daughter's bank account. In the end it's benefiting her and that's where I find my justification. If you are interested in selling check out the website at www.classykidsconsignment.com

Some stuff that I have prepared for the sale ends up back in a box that I'll keep forever. It's hard -I know. Is there anyone that you know that is pregnant or friends with kids that can use the clothes for their baby? Would you feel better giving it to someone you know?

Good luck. Hopefully this helps.

Take them to a shelter where they can be used by children lest fortunate than yours... If you have attachment to certain pieces.. pull those out and make a quilt for her ... first and formost remember - she's going to have an awful lot of clothes as she grows... and they're just clothes after all.

Hi R.!

You are definitely NOT alone. I saved every single last stitch of my oldest son's clothing, he is now 5. I am glad I did because now my youngest wears it, he will be 2 in a month. What I have done with the clothes as my youngest grows out of them is keep a few of the outfits that are very special to me and the sort the rest in two categories - 1. Clothes that are still in very good condition and 2. Clothes that are still in great condition but may have a small stain or may be a bit more worn. I give the clothes in good condition away to first time Mom's who have nothing and the other clothes I try to give to a charity. There is one where I live called Choices for Life Pregnancy Center and they are always looking for donations. I like to do that rather than donating to Good Will because people need to buy the clothes and I'd rather they be given to people in need instead of making them buy them, even if it is only $2. It was extremely hard for me to part with some of them but I get inspired by shows like Clean Sweep. I do that with their toys also. As a matter of fact I have a box of baby toys in excellent condition to give to a friend of mine whose sister is due with her first in a couple months. It makes me feel good knowing that I've helped a fellow mother.

Good luck, it will be difficult at first but once you get started it will go much easier and in the end you'll be happy to be rid of the extra "stuff".

K.

Who says you have to get rid of them? Are they taking up lots of space you need for something else? When you're ready, you'll find them a new home, but until then, tell everyone to mind their own business. If more people were sensitive enough to important things attached to parenthood, and were so loving and sentimental about their children's childhood, even the little things, the world would be a whole lot better. If you absolutely need to part with them, are any of your friends needing clothes that are in good condition? Do you have a local church or clothing bank that you could help out? Have you thought of starting a little business on ebay? You have lots of choices, but only when YOU say you are ready. Besides, are you absolutely done with having any more children too?

R.,
Have you considered donating the clothing to a homeless shelter. "For Kids" and "The Dwelling Place" are two homeless shelters for mothers and their children. The Kiem Center - once known as the Crisis Pregnancy Center - could also use the clothing.

S. C

Hi R.,

I agree to keep the favorites. I did the same and passed along the rest to my close friends and some to a family that lost everything in a fire. Maybe it would be easier to let them go if you knew that they were truly needed and appreciated.

Hello R.!

I have had the same problem. My solution...I went through my daughters clothes and kept the keepsakes in a special place (the outfit she wore home, her first Easter dress, etc.) Then I set aside a pile of clothes that I was attached to, but didn't mind cutting up. I plan to use these clothes to make a quilt (or have one made.) That way, I can still see and cuddle those adorable fabrics and can picture the entire outfit. I will even get to see them more than I am now since they is all in boxes. It is also something that I can hand down to my daughter in the future. Hope this helps!

i admit it's emotional. but if you want those clothes to be of any help to someone who is in need, the longer you hold onto them, the more likely they'll be kind-of yucky and maybe unusable when you finally do get rid of them. I would keep the outfits that are particularly cute and memorable, and donate the rest - get your mom to help you sort through. You could also take photos of the rest just to have the memories. Letting them sit there is a real shame when there are families in need. The International Rescue Committee will give them to refugee families in Baltimore who are needy and thankful. http://www.theirc.org/where/united_states_baltimore_md/ir...

Hi R.,

So who says you have to get rid of them? If you have the room to store them, do so. Save them for your grandchildren. I do think your Mom's suggestion that you just save your favorites is more practical though. I know what you mean about the thrift stores though so why don't you see if someone at your church, or a local churh can use the rest? At my church we have a "give and take". We send out a weekly email newsletter and anyone who has something to give and everyone who needs something can list it on the give and take. It's all free, just sisters helping sisters.

Hi R.,

The child's clothes are symbolic to something other than the child who's outgrown them. It seems to me that you are grieving the loss of your miscarriage. Go to a grief and loss counsellor and try to work through your pain. Good luck. D.

Perhaps you could find a friend who could put the clothes to good use. I have a friend who has just one daughter, who she had when she was in her late 30's and after many IVF treatments. She knew this was the only child she would have and had a hard time letting go of clothes at first. However, she started giving me the clothes for my daughter. I am very grateful for them and my daughter loves knowing she is wearing clothes from her friend. My second daughter is starting to wear some of the clothes, too. My friend says it makes her very happy to see someone else wearing those outfits and I am very grateful to have them! Maybe you can find someone who would appreciate them. Hope this helps!

I recommend that you store the ones you keep in those bags you suck the air out of so that no moisture or anything else gets into them. Also, they really do hold a lot of stuff. Perhaps you could take your favorite outfits from each year of her life so far and store them by year. I don't know. I truly loved my daughter's clothes because of all the memories in them and I gave them away when I had a son because we have NO room in our home. Also even the styles for babies change. Maybe you could sell them on ebay and use the money to buy something special for just your daughter and make new memories with that.

Just throwing out suggestions.

R....
you are so sweet...why not take the clothing~minus the certain special outfits you would like to hold onto! ~ down to the local shelter that perhaps deals with battered women and children...think what those wonderful little girls would feel with some new clothing and the pride the Moms would have putting such lovely things on their daughters!
have a good day!
T.

ACCA on Columbia Pike Annandale gives the needed clothes away to the families who are helped there with daycare and preschool. These are families in need and would greatly benefit from ANY shoes, coats, or clothes and toys that you have. Do your best to select the "favorites"and donate the rest to an organization that gives them away free. it makes the heart feel blessed.
best of luck

I feel for you but you have to realize they really ARE just things. My advice would be to take pictures of everything and donate the items. There are many people in need. Just think about the joy the outfits brought you and how you might be able to share that with someone else. That is a great gift. It's a very good lesson to teach your daughter as well. I have parents and in-laws who are so bogged down in their homes because they held on to everything that there are days when they can't function. Seriously. They are so burdened by material objects that their quality of life is diminished. And now, as grown adults, we are having to deal with it along with them. Do your family a favor and depart with the things. Good luck!

As a professional organizer and the mother of twins, I meet people with the same issue. I agree with you that it might be helpful to pull out the most sentimental pieces and preserve them as keepsakes (you could put each piece i a shadow box and hang in your daughters room or make pillows out of the garments). Then let someone else handle boxing up the rest. I suggest you find a shelter or a Teen parent program and donate the clothes. You can call your local High Schools to inquire about the Teen parent programs or local job corp/training programs. Good Luck

As I was growing up, I never thought about where the clothes for my dolls came from, but now I realize they were mine! My mom had picked her favorites out and gave them to me to use on my dolls. That way, she got to see them again and again as I was growing up. She kept them, and we'll likely use them, along with my favorite outfits, for my daughter's dolls when she is old enough to play. Just a thought!

I like you was very attached to my son's clothes. They were so cute and I had a hard time letting them go. I was going to take them to a consignment store, but in the end I donated them to the CHKD thrift store and recently to the church I attend. It is very rewarding to see that a friend of mine picked them out and her son is wearing them. She made me feel very blessed to see that they are going to good use. I did pick out the ones that meant the most to me and have put them away.
L.

Visit rhealana.com
You can find a sale in your area (they are going on in March). You will be able to price the clothes to what you think they are worth, and you will receive a percentage of what they sell for. Since you have so much stuff, you will probably make a lot of money and be able to buy your daughter new clothes! Also, putting your clothes in the sale will allow you to go to the sale before the sale is open to the public. They will only be accepting summer clothes for the sale in March. This is a HUGE sale and I wouldn't be surprised if everything you have sold!
If you don't like the sound of that, you could just run an ad in the newspaper and have people come to your house that are looking for used clothes.
I have also kept all my daughter's clothes. My daughter is only 18 months, but I know how you feel. I may have another baby and it will be nice to have it. You will feel better if you don't give them away, but know that someone else can enjoy them too!

R.,
I can sympathize with you. I, too, held on to clothes with my first son. My second son wore some of the clothes, but not many. Wrong sizes and seasons. I later found that I couldn't part with anything regarding my oldest son and then my second and third. Every scribble drawing, even sidewalk drawings (I took pictures). I became a hoarder of their stuff.

It was difficult to pick the important pieces and move on but eventually I did. The problem for me is that I waited so long my oldest likes to keep everything. The younger two don't have the same problem. I started giving away clothes to a younger new mom and then it became a little easier to move the clothes out and purge artwork.

You have to do what feels right to you. I wish you the best.

K.

You're not alone. I have two friends that have done the same thing. They literally have every piece of clothing. Even if their kids never wore the item.

I agree with your Mom. You should buy a special air tight box or cedar chest. Take a few special outfits. Her first shoes, first Christmas dress, etc. and set them aside in the box.

Some options for the other clothes.
1. Have a yard sale. The money you make could be put towards buying her more stuff.

2. Donating to a nice consignment shop. Again, this gets you money, some of them pay up front. There is one that has sales at the Prince William Fair Grounds. They have a sale coming up in March. Here is their link.
www.ClassyKidsConsignment.com

3. Giving them to a friend that is expecting.

4. Contacting a woman's shelter. There are several in the area and they are usually always looking for food and clothing donations.

I understand. I think the idea of saving some pieces is a good one- now that I have my own daughter I wish my mom had done that (she can't stand clutter.) Could you give the clothes to your friends? I always like doing that- passing things on to people I care about. I also continually remind myself that people, not things, are truly of value. Sounds simple, but that little mantra has helped a saver like me keep a tidy house!

Call a church and find someone IN NEED. That helps.....to know it's not going to get thrown in a big pile, but will be like Christmas to someone who can't afford clothes!

IDEAS:

1) The women's shelter as others have mentioned, though I don't know of any specifically.

2) There is a local crisis pregnancy center that accept the smaller clothes up to 6 months of age. I would give the younger clothing to them. http://www.pregnancyclinicministry.org/donate/babyitems.html I have met some of their staff and they are very friendly. They are GIVING it all away to women in need. I'll be dropping off some formula to them tomorrow that expires in March and they are certain they can use it.

3)Join http://groups.yahoo.com/group/bowie_freecycle/
It is a great local group of people who want to save things from the dump that are still very usable. They also have the policy that you can give the item(s) away to whomever you want. You could have them pick it up at your house or meet somewhere else if you prefer. If you had a boy I'd offer to take em off your hands. :) Here is a sample add you could use...

OFFER: 6-12 month girl clothes
Infant 6-12m girl clothes are all in excellent condition. I am having a hard time parting with the clothes, so help me out by sharing why you need them. I will pick the story that touches me most. Please take the lot and re-free-cycle what you can't use. Pick up just off Pointer Ridge Dr.

Knowing who you are helping and seeing their true need may help you release the majority of the clothes. (Saving that first Easter or Christmas dress.) Once you succeed with a small batch and see the live you were able to help, it will get easier each time.

I totally feel the same way. I'm dreading the day I have to get rid of their clothes. I'm not getting rid of anything till we are through all of our kids. I plan to sell everything on Ebay so I can make some money back. Halloween is really my thing so I think if I'll keep anything it will be some of their costumes. I know it's weird, why do we get so attached to their clothes!!!! One thing I just thought of. If your creative, take those couple of outfits that you'd like to save and if you can bring yourself to cut it, make some type of quilt out of all the different fabrics.

I didn't start selling my son's clothes until he was around 4 years old. I started feeling that there was some child that could benefit from them and they might get discolored if they sit around any longer. I kept some favorites and let my son pick his favorites. We did a few local yard sales and I sold for less than a dollar each item and felt great about helping others. There are so many needy families looking for a bargain and wanting to dress their children out there. My son helped sell and was proud to collect the money and say thank you. Of course the money was used in part to buy more toys for him. The act of starting him to learn to give and help and for me was rewarding in itself. Do it when you are ready and not a moment earlier. And find the way you want to give - maybe to an organization for single moms, etc...Good luck.

Go on craigslist.com. You can post them forsale under the kids/baby stuff. Its free to put the ad in and it stays in there for 45 days. You can also repost it for free again. That way what you will part with you can get the money you want for it.

I am also very attached to my children's baby things but I keep a plastic tote in the back of their closets where i put anything particularly special, first shoes, christmas dress, tiny socks, as well as any cards or little sentimental things i may want to save that don't fit into the baby book. Anything else I just give away on freecycle or sell on craigslist.

Save some of the smaller dresses to be used as clothes for a big teddy bear or doll. Put some really special things in an acid free box (Container Store). Have a yard sale and only sell the clothes if the buyers give you what you think they're worth. Give some to friends. Display really special things in a shadow box (Micheal's or other craft store) along with a rattle or booties or something. If you can stand it -- cut the fabric from some of the outfits into small squares and have a quilt made out them.

Hmm I would have suggested consignment and get something say for the outdoors for summer time. But if you don't want to do that then I would say you have a couple options. One is you could put it on www.freecycle.com and it goes to whoever picks it up for free. Two you could call the children's hospitals etc and see if they could use it. Three Red Cross would be another choice as they give clothes etc to people say who's house has been burned down. Four police departments and fire departs usually take the stuffed animals for kids.

Hi Rhoda.Your mom is right.But why don't you take the step abit farther and buy some shadowbox frames and make some memorable decorative keepsakes like a christening gown and shoes or cute romper or dress and shoes.And remember to glue some fabric to the backer to compliment the clothing.

I know how you feel. All of those little clothes bring back big memories. I suggest taking your mother's advice, and doing what my mother did for me, by keeping some favorite dresses and outfits that can be passed along to a granddaughter someday. My daughters have worn some of my dresses for special occasions and it's always sentimental and fun.

You could also take pictures of your daughter's clothes, to help preserve the memories they hold for you. You could even make an album and write down the thoughts that come to your mind when you see those darling clothes! This could help you process your feelings and last as a treasure for you, and your daughter.

Finally, and this is the hard part, you could donate the clothes you're not keeping to a shelter for abused women and children, a global aid organization, or church. Surely, the only woman who will appreciate your daughter's clothes as much as you do is the woman who needs them to keep her little girl comfortable and warm. And imagine the joy of that mother when she sees that, despite her circumstances, her precious daughter can look so beautiful!

I hope those ideas help. Good luck!

There are donation sites for clothes that go to people who really need clothes, in fact there is one at Sams' Club I think, in Annapolis. You could even take pictures of your favorites. If you're not ready, you're not ready, don't beat yourself up. Ask yourself, what are you ready to do, give one piece away, give ten ... take baby steps. There are certainly people who can use them, but maybe it's just not time. Or it's time to take a small step...do what you are ready for and push the limit just a little bit, not put yourself into a tailspin.

I have donated my son's clothing to the battered womens shelter, it's a tax write-off and it makes me feel good that I am helping someone in a bad situation. Call the 311 in Hampton and they can give you cotact numbers. Also, I get the donation bags left on my door from time to time and they help battered women (I can't think of the name and I'm not home now).

Keep them! There is no reason to get rid of them. I know may be they take up a lot of space, or the fact that you think you have to get rid of them. But if you're not ready, don't! I still have all of my daughter's too, she's 3. I have two boys too ( 9 and 20 mos.), and have saved the clothes that they have both used, and a bit of just semtimental items. But it is easier for me to let some of the boys stuff go to goodwill, but not my daughter's. Don't beat yourseft up. Besides if you keep them long enough, you can give them to her for your grandaughter one day :>)! God Bless!

You should have your mom help you. Take the rest to donate them to the church or to someone that that you know that could use them. Here they have fund raiser for the people in Tennesse that lost everthing they own. You need to think of that you are helping someone else. It is tax deductiable. Hope this helps.

LOL..(laugh out loud). I know how you feel. I am a 17yo mom. I have a 15m old son and I still have all his clothes and toys. My mom kept trying to get me to get rid of them because they were taking up to much room. Now she is happy I kept them because I am pregnant again with #2. Hopefully its a boy.. if not, Im in biggg trouble. Have you thought of having or trying to have more?? If your are still thinking about it, maybe you should hold on to those clothes. Or you can even have your daughter help you. Ask her which ones she would like to keep and get rid of. Have her make a pile of the ones she does not want and the ones she wants to hold on to. Does she like dolls?? Maybe she will want to keep the newborn or 0-3m clothes for her dolls. I am sure she would love that. I remember thats what my mom used to do.

Good luck.
A.

I have sold many clothes on e-bay, this works out great for me. I have even sold some of my husband and my clothes on the site too. There is also another site craigslist where you can sell items I have not tried this site but have heard many great things about it also. I was the same way with my daughter's clothes I still have many of her younger clothes but I did pick out my favorites and then also gave some to my daughter to use as doll clothes. I will say it gets easier to get rid of the clothes the older they get because they are not as cute and sweet.

Good Luck,
L. B