Cant Get Him to Eat

Updated on September 18, 2009
K.O. asks from Fort Worth, TX
19 answers

I have A 8 year old brother and can hardly get him to eat he's so picky wont eat vegetables only prefers coke or water and plain meat or chicken nuggets or strips. Its a hassle trying to get him to eat anything he wont even try chef boyarde. He's really skinny..skinnier than most. anyone have ideas to where i can make more foods interesting to him??. ..

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for all the advice!!! it has helped so much, i have put my foot down and make sure he eats what i make him. also, on some days i make him "silly" foods.. tags dont bother him and he does sit pretty still for the average 8 year old but ill stil look into a food therapist, you never know. its great he's eating so much better, now over at my house the fatty foods are gone!! at least for him haha thanks alot again ladies you all were great help :) oh i also loved the pizza idea me ane my husband have a blast deciding what topppings to put on it :)

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E.R.

answers from Dallas on

I have a recipe book called silly snacks, http://www.givinggiftsthatgive.com/CookbooksSillySnacks.html

that might help! Also, have you tried like getting a pizza crust and letting him make his own pizza and other stuff like that? I know pizza isn't GREAT but you could put veggies and stuff on it and make it not so bad, that might help too. I hope it works out!

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N.W.

answers from Dallas on

IgE testing will show if he is allergic to certain foods. IgG testing will show if he has food sensitivies. Both are blood tests that any doc can order. Alletess Lab has IgG testing--some docs won't be open to that sort of testing.

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P.S.

answers from Dallas on

I love stories about picky eaters! My first cousin, a few years younger than me deserves the award for picky eaters. She would not will not eat veggies or fruit and will only eat very little protien. However, she will eat bread, plain, spaghetti plain, any form of potato...plain, tortillias plain. You see the pattern. She is now almost thirty years old, a mother herself and doing quite well health wise. Her parents never cooked special for her, but they did allow her to go to the pantry and fix her own food. She was not a special needs child, she had no sensory or social issues, she has no eating disorders. She just knows what she likes and what she doesnt like and the end. Her little one on the other hand enjoys fruits and veggies and protiens. She does not keep them from the baby, she encourages her to eat what she likes. She also does not have weight or muscle tone issue, she is very healthy. 20 years from now, dont be surprised if he is still eating the same way!

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D.M.

answers from Dallas on

This is a very common problem! Less typical to have it effect weight because most children will eat carbs which keeps the weight on, just doesn't build any muscle mass and can cause poor nutrition health concerns.
He may need some therapy. Our clinic runs "Picky Eater" groups, or individual sessions. Sessions can usually be covered by your health insurance because this is a health concern. The therapy is provided by speech and/or occupational therapist.
The program we use is called Sequential Oral Sensory. We look at everything to determine when the breakdown with food started and hopefully we can tell why, but often there is no answer to that.
The child meets with the therapist once per week. Each program lasts about 13-15 weeks, and it may be necessary to repeat the program. There are things to work on at home as well.
I dont think our website has been updated in a while, so we may not even have anything regarding food therapy, but the web site is www.atherapyconnection.com. If it isn't on the website, it should be in the next few weeks.
Good luck!

After reading the other posts, I just wanted to add one more thing...I agree that sodas are bad, however, in some situations, you need them for the calories. If he truly is only eating lean chicken and is very under weight, DONT remove his only form of calories! I would serve the sugary drink AFTER the meal, though because sweets shut down your appetite.
If he's already to a point where his weight is very effected (any idea where he falls on the growth char at the pediatrician's office?) I'd recommend bringing him in for some food therapy.

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

Try smoothies. Frozen fruit, yogurt, banana, milk, and OJ. To up the calories, use whole milk. You can even sneak in some veggies and throw in spinich (basically flavorless, so he shouldn't taste the difference) and use V8 juice (they have some really good flavors) or carrot juice instead of OJ. Do not let him see you make it! A trick we use with my kids is to call food by restaurant names. Smoothies are Jamba Juice, tacos are Taco Bell, pizza is Pizza Hut, you get the idea. Or just make up names. Just like the saying, A rose wouldn't be a rose by any other name, kids think certain foods taste different just by the name. My son won't eat beef stroganoff, but meat sauce with rice is his favorite, which just so happens to be the same recipe =) Definitely try all the suggestions to get him to eat more, but in the meantime, also see if he'll drink PediaSure or Kid Boost, which contain necessary calories, vitamins and minerals. My son drinks one with lunch and thinks it's chocolate milk. And if your son likes chocolate milk, use whole milk and add some Nestle Quick. Much healthier calories than soda. And have him drink after eating so he doesn't drink all of his calories first and then not be hungry enough to try food. Good luck!

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D.D.

answers from Dallas on

I was a super picky eater until college. I wouldn't try new things and only ate what I liked. My mom wouldn't prepare anything special for me. I ate what she fixed or I could make my own, which was usually cereal. We have read that your body craves what it needs and you will eat what you need. I still almost always only order chicken strips when we go out to eat. My mom did try to have me "eat" breakfast of carnation instant breakfast and I still like that or ensure. I suggest just trying to keep any healthy fruits or veggies that he does like in stock in your fridge. I would eat tomatoes, carrots and oranges so we almost always had those. Some plain foods like grilled cheese and PB &J are pretty healthy and fairly easy for him to make. I think he will be fine and you shouldn't worry unless he is dehydrated or losing weight.
Good Luck and there is hope. I eat much more now!

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hey big sister, I'm a mom to a 14 year old girl who has been, and continues to be, a very picky eater like your brother. She only drinks water, lemonade and milk. The only veggie she eats is corn, but at least she's willing to eat many fruits. She still only likes hamburgers and chicken nuggets/strips. And pasta only with butter! French fries (of course), but she also likes baked potatoes if you add some bacon bits and/or shredded cheese. And she's very visual -- if the food doesn't look the way she expects it to look, she won't eat it.

If he likes pasta, try giving him the healthier types that are now available, like whole grain. And give him chicken nuggets/strips made only from white breast meat. And smoothies are a good way to get him dairy and fruits -- mix in a blender milk, frozen yogurt (vs. ice cream) and fresh fruits such as strawberries and bananas. What about PB&J? If he only likes white bread, try the "white wheat" that is now more widely available.

It might also be a good idea to give him multivitamins -- since he's a picky eater, you're best bet is to try the gummy vitamins. He'll think he's eating candy!

Don't stress yourself out too much over this. Just focus on the things he does like and try to make those things healthier. He will likely always be a picky eater, but as he gets older he'll be a little more willing to try new things, as my daughter has.

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Kathrine,

This post is going to be REALLY LONG... Hopefully you can get some ideas and will forgive me. ;-)

At 8 your brother should be able to put into words what bothers him about foods. Is it texture, taste, smell, chewing... find out where the "I don't like" comes from.

Then, get him started on a HUGE project of the Tongue. You can look at the muscles in it, the salivary glands, the little thing that ties it to the bottom of the mouth... See if you can get his teacher on board. If she's noticed he's thin, she'll likely be thrilled you're trying to do something about it, And probably let him do a classroom presentation. You can do a 3-D Model. Be as creative as you can. I can see using a body pillow and sewing tastebuds on it... Or, that 3-D floam and making a mouth... OR, even a wooden model... but you do whatever you think will get him excited. See if you can get a hold of a hand lense (magnifying glass) and let him look at a tastebud UP CLOSE and personal (probably YOURS...LOL, BUT! Cats' tastebuds are shaped like hooks! By the way...If you decide to look at the cat's tongue, I want to see the video! ;-).

Just do everything to learn what the tastebuds do and how...

Then, research what each area of the tongue does to help us taste...sour, butter, sweet, etc. Testing this will get him involved in experimenting the different areas. AND... get him to try all kinds of stuff. Have him sample some baby formula... he WONT like it. LOL... but his tastebuds used to think it was the greatest stuff ever!!

My girls would eat anything. Their babysitter would give me a free day of daycare if I'd bring them for meals she was introducing to the other kids, because she knew mine would dig in! There were several factors that made them this way.

1. I used to tell them that a sign of someone growing up is when they learn to teach themselves that other foods are okay. Only babies let their tiny little tongue tell them what they can and can't eat. You can explain to him that our tastebuds aren't really grownup until we are really, really old... at least 40 or so...LOL... and since they are always changing things will taste different to us as we grow... AND, we can train our tastebuds to like anything we want them to. Right now, his tastebuds are acting like little babies and not letting him fuel his body. He has to TAKE CHARGE of them and not let them boss him around, HE's the BOSS.

2. My girls grew up helping my husband's grandparents in the garden. They loved to eat what they grew. You could help your brother plant some large planter boxes with veggies...

3. I didn't allow my girls to choose what to eat and what not to eat at the beginning of a meal. They were served one spoon of each item (about 3 bites), and were required to eat at least two bites of everything before they could request something else or leave the table. This made them keep trying foods they didn't think they liked. Some foods they learned to like, others they prefer not to eat now that they are grown.

True story: I used to HATE squash. It didn't matter how you cooked it, I hated it. But, as an adult I tried squash again and now I LOVE it. So, I'm not foolin' our tastebuds really do change. Share with him a list of foods he knows you eat. Then, share with him some of those that you had to acquire...

Also, If you can help him research all the vitamins that his body needs to be healthy, and what different foods do give us each of those nutrients, it might help.

Then, have him do some research on what is in those foods he does like, like Hot Dogs. When he reads the package he's going to wonder "What exactly is...by-product"... go Ask Jeeves... Then, ask him if he'd rather a hotdog or... Broccoli/Cheese/Rice casserole.

Good luck!

T. Cobbs
(Yeah, I'm a science teacher... this post probably sounded like a nerdy science teacher...)

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

I have some decent luck with my kids by giving them a choice of what to eat. I might serve pizza, then offer mandarin oranges, cottage cheese, cooked broccoli, and cold carrots. Then I tell them they have to choose 2 side dishes from the 4 that I offer. That way I am not telling them what to eat, and they can choose for themselves. I think feeling empowered about their own choices is a good thing. I know, your son may still say no to everything, but you could try it! Just an idea.

I also really like the idea of letting them help make the food.

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

Does he have anything else going on? He may have sensroy issues and a feeding therapist can help with that. Do tags in his clothes bother him? Does he not like loud noises?
Does he have a hard time sitting still??
L.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

Stop buying the soda - that's one of the worst possible things to give a child. If there isn't any in the house, then he'll stop asking for it. As an alternative, try mixing fruit juice with club soda or sparkling mineral water. Also, no one else in the house should be drinking soda either. The largest influence on a child's eating habits are whether they're catered and whether everyone else in the house also eats what you're expecting him to eat.

The rule in my house is that the kids must eat their vegetables. If they don't, they don't get anything else to eat later. I don't totally disallow cookies, etc., but it's all about moderation.

You can sneak vegetables into things like meatloaf. If he likes chicken, try using ground chicken. Also, giving him a choice of green beans versus peas, etc. might help. Kids do need choices sometimes.

Also, will he eat fruit? If so, then don't worry so much yet about the veggies - he is at least getting fiber and good vitamins, etc from the fruit.

And, smoothies with a protein powder can be good for kids with weight problems as they are calorie dense.

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

I totally agree with the post about no sodas in the house. I don't buy them. If all he will then drink is water, then that is fine. All my daughter drinks is water and milk. She is also 8 and eats no veggies or meat. I push fruit, and yogurt, and nuts, and chocolate/banana protein drink, and pizza, and pasta, mac-n-cheese, cereals, sometimes raw carrots, and no desserts unless good foods are eaten first. I think there are a lot of kids that don't eat veggies. Just push other good-for-you options. -- And get rid of the sodas!

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M.C.

answers from Dallas on

Try buying Boca or Morningstar Farms brand chicken nuggets. They are made from soy beans. So, he thinks he's getting meat, but it's really veggies (and fiber). I think it tastes pretty good. The breading makes it tastes like chicken nuggets.

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C.B.

answers from Dallas on

Have him help prepare dinner- don't try anything too exotic! My kids love to help with dinner and are more likely to eat what they helped cook. Also having a garden which they help plant and take care of. Maybe you could try they one bite rule- they have to try at least one bite of everything they are served.
Good luck, kids go through picky eating all the time!
~C.

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A.D.

answers from Dallas on

Dear K.,

My son is 10 and is a very picky eater. He is skinny but in good health. The only vegetables he eats is baby carrots. He likes all kind of berries. If your brother doesn't eat vegetable, may be have him try fruits instead.
Try to eliminate the soft drink, it might help his appetite.
It could be a viscious circle-the more you solicitate him for eating, the more he holds back.

You might want to take him for grocery shopping where they give out samples.
Good luck.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Fortunately my son is not a picky eater, but many of his friends are extremely picky. My son is younger, but the friends we are talking about range from 4 -9. We have had A LOT of success getting kids to eat things their parents haven't been able to get them to eat simply by letting them help get it from our garden and/or helping prepare the meal. My neighbor is amazed at the stuff we have been able to get her daughter to eat.

I was EXTREMELY picky as a kid and I can tell you the harder my mom pushed, the more I "hated" something and refused to eat it. Many a night was spent yelling at the dinner table. I refuse to go through that...out basic rule is to try it. You may not like it and that's ok, but you have to try it. And we don't make anything else...no extra meals, no sandwiches. You have to eat something served, because I don't want to turn into a short order cook. Milk and water and occasionally juice are the only drink options, so that's one less thing to worry about.

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L.T.

answers from Dallas on

Mine is picky too but here is what we do. I cook a meal. Main dish with meat, 2 veggies. You don't have to eat the meat. You have to eat the veggies. If you eat your veggies you can have a snack later. If you don't eat the veggies, you get nothing else until the next meal. It gives them a choice. You just have to stick with it. I have found the less I push, the better she eats. I don't sit there and say eat, eat, eat. I tell her twice to eat her food or she gets nothing til the next meal. Works for us. Good Luck!

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C.S.

answers from Dallas on

I used to sell a fruit veges product called Juice Plus many years ago and I learned more in a day than most people do all year about their personal nutrition and what it does to our bodies.

First of all, you have filled him with sugars and fats. His taste buds will not accept the other foods. Really - the more sugar a child eats the less they have the taste for the natural foods. The more fats they eat, the more they crave.

Sounds like you need to revamp his entire diet. Remember, he's too young to drive or buy groceries. So he has to eat or not what you fix.

Prepare healthy meals, casseroles, spaghetti, baked chicken, pizza - things you can substitute for fast foods and he will like. No need to torture him. Put some cheese on that broccoli or cauliflower. Sneak spinach into the casserole.

Try preparing foods ahead of time and put in freezer so you don't have to run quick by the big M's. (chick filet has big healthy nuggets of chicken.
Fresh fruit always available instead of candy - no more cokes! Makes his bones brittle anyway. Yogurt is really amazing alone or with fruit and very good calcium wise.
Fresh carrots dipped in ranch dressing - yum.
Lots of alternatives. good luck!

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

Emotionalizing the food only makes it worse. Will he eat pizza? You can add a lot to pizza. Like run broccoli through a food processor and add a tablespoon to the sauce. Punishing for not eating will cause problems later in life. Chill just a bit and don't worry too much. The more you push the more of a battle you will have. He may have some food allergies and doesn't like certain food because it makes him feel bad.

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