I wonder why I can't take a compliment? Yesterday, at my Zumba class the instructor told me I was slimming down, and I made some off hand comment about how it was probably the clothes making me look slimmer. Actually I have lost 10 pounds. I notice that a lot of times if someone compliments me, I tend to make some self depreciating joke. I have good self esteem, really I do. I am quite happy with my life and the person I have turned out to be so.... why can't I take a compliment? Do you ladies find yourself doing this too?
Absolutely!
Well, if anyone ever complimented me........which they don't : ( ......unless it's about my kiddos........
But, if ever someone does, I will be ready, by golly! And I will very sincerely say, "Thank you!"
I'm the same way--even when the compliment comes from my husband, I will manage to find some way to undermine it. I hate that I do it!!
You need to practice two words: Thank you.
LBC
Yes, and it's usually because you are being extra cautious not to pat your own back or "brag" about yourself. When someone compliments you, you can always just say, "Thank you!" and return a compliment like, "Well, you are a great teacher!"
Just practice saying "Why, thank you! How kind of you to notice!".
Also, if you see something you like, by all means give compliments ( "I love the colors in your sweater!").
It's a two way street and we should all know how to give and receive!
It's a habit. Make it a point to change this and soon you'll respond graciously to compliments. I used to do this too but when someone did it to me when I complimented them, I realized how awful it was so I made it a point to stop.
I suggest that it's a matter of habit. As others have suggested, pick a phrase and repeat it. Just saying thank you is sufficient. Tell yourself that you're going to say thank you every time you get a complement. Fake it at accepting compliments until you make it. Eventually you'll feel comfortable.
In my youth I had difficulty accepting compliments because I thought that making an excuse was being modest. My parents taught me that it was most important to be modest and not think too highly of myself. My parents had difficulty accepting complements too. I learned that by not accepting a complement I was being rude to the giver. Saying thank you is modest.
A lot of women are like this.
I think it is a combination of being humble, being raised that women don't flaunt ourselves and just being downright shy at the time the compliment is being made.
Luckily, this is an easy fix. Next time someone compliments you, stop, take a few seconds, smile, and say thank you. If it makes you feel better, you can find something to compliment them for. =)
i used to....i was very shy as a child and young adult. then i learned something. it's JUST as easy to say, "thank you" and smile. it just takes practice. a compliment is just like a gift. good manners suggests we thank that person :) good luck!!
What does the instructor want? That is what I would be thinking because I am suspicious of people flattering me. I need to stop because it makes others uncomfortable if I can't take one.
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Yes! Mainly because I always feel like I should give a compliment back and I'm afraid it will sound contrived.
I totally am the same way. UGH, it makes me feel awful and regret it later and wish I was more mature about it. So I do try to make an extreme effort to just say thanks with a smile and bite my lip. It is hard for me because I don't like the attention. But I know others like to get compliments so I guess i would like them to accept the compliment I gave. But it is a learning process to accept them if your not use too it. GREAT JOB ON THE 10 lbs.....
GLADLY. :P
Used to have trouble with it---I'd be embarassed or not know how to respond. Now, I'm not so shy about taking any compliments I get. :P
I have found I do the same thing at times. But it seems to go hand in hand with accepting help from others as well. Learning to just say thank you has been a very difficult thing to learn for me, but I like to compliment and help others, so I have to learn to accept their compliments and help as well. :)
Yep I do that too. I can't just say thank you. I have no idea why. Maybe because I love to give compliments and help someones day better! Im so appreciative I just don't know what to say sometimes :)
I am exactly the same way. Compliments make me really uncomfortable.
Im like that too! I dont shake it off or make a joke, i will say thanks politely (even to friends an co workers) but think "im nothing special.. im just me!" I def dont go out looking for compliments. I know some people who always compliment on clothes becuase she is into clothes. It takes me 10 minutes to get my outfit together, its really no big deal. I suggest you dont laugh it off. If someone gives you a compliment for something your trying for (like zumba to slim down) dont credit something else other than your hard work!
I think it's just habit as conditioning we got from parents/teachers as girls. Boys don't get treated the same way quite so much. Just make a point to recognize the compliment and you'll learn a new reaction...just say thanks. I had this happen to me yesterday and it's the kind of thing that happens to me at Zumba, too. ; )
