Call from Preschool Teacher.....

I learned the old 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' adage. Now if his head is falling off his shoulders...

I understand your concern. However, I think that the situation has been appropriately handled already. Receiving a call from school made you aware of the situation, and apparently no real harm was done. Save your calls for emergencies. It's good developmental practice to let your son work things out on his own, unless it is serious. Letting go of our children is never easy. Take it one step at a time!

K.
Licensed Teacher
Mother of two grown children

My vote? Leave it alone and be satisfied you got the call.

I think it was an accident and would treat it as such, especially if he hasn't mentioned it. Accidents happen all the time around preschoolers, especially ones who have hula hoops in their hands. I wouldn't mention it to the teacher either since your son doesn't seem hurt or sad about a purposeful injury. If he's ok physically and emotionally, which it seems, move on and expect these things to happen once in awhile!

I think the information provided from the teacher was appropriate. I don't think names need to be given, for a minor accident. Your son is fine and I don't think any probing is needed.

oh, what a nice sensible no-drama mama you are!
it sounds like they've given you everything you need, and you are smart enough not to be going overboard about it. some mamas would want names, parents' names, apologies, lawyers and new class procedures to protect against any possibility of future violent unprovoked jihad hula incidents.
but i think your instincts are bang on.
:) khairete
S.

I would let it go. They are sort of required to let you know of any and all injuries even accidental ones. It sounds like it was totally innocent, an accident and he's fine.

Hi. I have received similar calls from my son's preschool :) I think its good that they make the calls... keeps you informed and then you are not surprised if you pick him up and he does have a visable boo-boo.

I would not worry about this too much. I think its OK to ask your son about it. Just keep it light. I would do something like.... Did you have fun today? What did you play with? Did you play wth Hoola hoops? And see if he mentions it. If not, it was probably not a big deal for him. These kinds of accidents happen all the time at preschool.

As far as the questions for the teacher... I can tell you my sons preschool has a policy of not telling the name of the other kid that did the hitting or biting or whatever. They just tell me "a friend" bit your son today. (But now that he is older my son will tell me!!) I think this is to help keep any ill feelings from developing from parents towards other children. I agree with that approach. Most of the time they are either accidents or a kid just had a bad moment... we as parents can't get too worked up about it. If my son had a bad day and hit a friend for the first time ever, I certainly would not want other adults thinking he was some kind of monster.. this is pretty typical behavior for 3/4 year olds and as long as it is not a chronic problem, it is best to not make it into a huge deal.
I think its fine to ask the teacher about how your son reacted and how upset he was, and was this an accident or did the other kid hit him on purpose. You should ask anything that you feel you need or want to know to make you feel comfortable. The teacher should totally accomodate that and be understanding of your situation.
My sons preschool even has a "Oops" report which is a paper they fill out in these situations and send home with the child that describes what happened ,how the child reacted, etc. Might be a good recommendation for your next parent/teacher meeting :0)

ide be happy i got a call.. most preschools unless the child is bleeding or actually seriously hurt will not draw up a injury report for parents to sign.
Example: My daughter was hit in the face by another child because the child wanted her toy.. i got a call as well as the other parent and they told us we had to sign an injury report.. when we got there i had to read something and agree that i was notified of the incident.
It doesnt sound major and ur child is fine.. ide drop it

Every school has their own policy. Ours had a "boo boo" slip that was written up anytime a child was hurt bad enough to cause tears, a scratch, cut, bruise, etc. These slips were left at the front desk so you would get it when you picked your child up. You were always welcome to talk to the teacher about it but I never did. As long as my kid was okay, then so was I. The slip didn't mention names, usually they just indicated "another child" as in "your daughter ran in front of a swing as another child was swinging." Teachers never called parents unless there was a more serious incident or injury, and I wouldn't expect them to. They are busy and their full attention should be given to the children, not calling parents over every little thing.

Since it was so minor, I'd drop it. The school called you and your child didn't mention it. Legally, the school cannot tell you who did it or the consequences to the student. Really, they did what they needed to do - inform the parent. And, in all honesty, it's only getting hit with a hula hoop. I'm sure worse happens around the house. At least, with my two preschool boys, it does!

my daughter didn't get reports sent home in pre-k or now K unless there was an injury they thought would need future care (serious hit to the head, or when she bruised her entire spine and had a gash were the only times i got sent home info) Other than that if I wanted to know where a boo boo came from I'd J. ask my daughter what happened. Although, the story from a kid isnt that reliable...
ex Sarah ran up and pushed M. and stepped on my foot could be really she accidentally fell into them and stepped on their fot...Not a lie from what they felt happened..but kids tend to exagerate. I wouldn't make a big deal of it, thats so simple it couldve happened at home and you wouldnt think anything of it

I would have asked when I picked him up for the whole story, but since it's too late for that, I'd ask your son about it. My son is bad about forgetting about these kinds of things until something reminds him, which could be next week. It sounds to me like it was an accident, and if that's the case, I wouldn't bother saying anything to the preschool, but if he tells you that one of the other kids was being mean, I would bring it up to the teacher so they can be aware of the situation and watch for any future problems.

Ask what you feel you need to know.

He was hit in the face. Did a teacher see it happen?
What time did it happen?
Was ice/bandaid applied?
Is he upset now?
Do you think he is okay to stay or should I come get him?

As for asking him about it, I would say something like, so I heard that gymboree class was a little crowded today. or 'how was your day?'

I'm not sure what type of follow up will be done. That depends on if it were a true accident or if a serial hitter was running around class.

If it were a huge deal, your son would tell you all about it...that's what kids do!

Don't bother asking who did it, as the school will not tell you. They will say "a classmate" or "a friend," but confidentiality policies typically don't allow them to say who did it. Your son will tell you when he tells the story, though; it's almost laughable how the schools are so careful not to tell who did it.

I know when my son's were little most the time they would not tell me who else was involved. Not really sure why maybe so we did not try to approach the other parent. If you feel the need to ask if anything happened at school today and go from there.

my daughters teacher (pre k) will tell me if something happened when i pick her up. only if its bad or she is really sick do i get a phone call. i think you are over thinking it. hes fine and didnt make a big deal about it. she probably called because she may have thought he would have a mark.

At this point, I would drop it. No point bringing it up if your son hasn't already (my daughter LOVES to tell me about each and every "owie"). As for the teacher, you can ask whatever you like...but for me I just want to know that she didn't cause the behavior (ie, she was picking on someone and they got mad and pushed her or whatever). They usually include this info in their call to me as well.

We get an incident report (and like others, they won't tell us who caused the incident) that says what happened, where the child was injured, and what the follow up treatment (if any) was applied (usually ice/band-aid and some TLC).

I would drop it. The school did the right thing in notifying you of the incident. Your son obviously isn't hurt and wasn't affected emotionally.

I worked daycare for a few years before I was married. It sounds like your school did things right. The only thing differently we did was that the teacher in charge and any that saw what happened would write out a report for the moms and dads to.
Like...
Billy was running on the play ground this after noon at 2:00. He tripped and skinned his knee. I took him inside where I washed his cut, put a band aid on it and gave him some TLC.
For now I would let it go, but since your daycare is kinda going through some policy changes you could see if this is something they might be willing to do. then you have written proof of anything that happens there. We also used this for things that happened between 2 (Some times more) kinds
Like
Billy and some other kids were having a fight over a toy, and the other child got mad and hit Billy in in the arm. I removed the toy, and looked Billy over to see if he was hurt. He seems ok, so I gave him some TLC.
With those kinda reports it was made clear to all parents that it was policy that we would not tell the name of the other child Involved (However kids being kids I am sure it wouldn’t be hard to get it out of the little guy). If a question ever came up (and it was not often that it did) about what steps were taken to discipline the other child we would refer them to our hand book out lining how we handled discipline
A reports was also made for the other child who did the hitting.
Sam was fighting with another child today over a toy. Sam got mad and hit the other child. We put Sam in a time out for 3 minutes, and he said he was sorry to the other child.
WOW that was a lot. I am just saying that I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it this time, but would maybe ask if director of the daycare if they would be willing to write out reports as well as a call.
I hoped this helped!!!

In NJ we are required to fill out an incident or accident report. It would answer most of your questions with the exception of who did it. That we are not allowed to disclose due to privacy issues. We are required to call if the injury is shoulders and above. I usually call for an incident, I would hate for a parent to pick up and see their child with a mark and know nothing about it. Most times there is nothing there by the time they pick up but it is better to air on the side of caution. Not sure if your state is required to fill out these reports, but I think it is a great idea, and is also there to protect all parties involved.

I can answer this as a Mom and a former Assistant Director of a daycare/preschool.......the fact they called you was nice, that is not required...we typically only called for injuries that could be serious, and for the handful of mom's that we knew would be very upset if we did not call. By law we had to write an Accident report, we were not allowed to tell the parent who did, but we can't stop the child from telling. But really, what good is this information? The reason behind the privacy, I can speak from experience, is we had a parent one time decide to take the punishment into his own hands and he spanked the child (that was not his, but had hurt his child). My take as a parent is....if it was an accident or not, who did, etc...what good is that information going to be to me? It's not going to fix the situation, there is nothing I can do about the incident, it has already occurred. I would leave it alone and be happy you got the phone call. Now if this is a continuing problem, I would ask to speak the teachers, and come up with a game plan on how to handle...(ie. one child who is constantly bullying your child). If you son has not mentioned the incident, that's really up to you to bring it up...if it is something that is bothering him, he'll talk about it, and that is when I'd take the opportunity to ask him questions you may have...otherwise, I'd just leave it alone. Accidents happen at daycare/preschool/school there is nothing we can do about it....if you do not have the confidence that the teachers are doing the best they can to keep your child well and out of harms way, then it's time to look at another care option, but if you feel they do a good job, I say leave well enough alone...things happen...it wasn't serious....

I agree with everyone..drop it and be happy you got a phone call. I work in a daycare. We r not required to call unless the injury can be life threatening..nor by law are we allowed to tell the childs name that did the crime. You got a phone call about the ACCIDENT which is what it sounds like it is...just leave the situation be and wait to see if he tells you on his own

I always ask my child about bumps and bruises just hear her side and keep track of patterns that might be developing. And either follow-up with the teacher or give her coping strategies - everything is a learning moment. "Did you tell Billy that he may not put his hands on you?" or "Tell Billy tha tit hurts and ask the teacher for help." You want to encourage your child to tell you when something bad happens to him. Definately ask your child.

Every school or daycare facility we have been part of gives a simple written sheet "accident report." Regardless if it is intentional or not, you need to know that an event occurred, if for no other reason than if your son gets sick later or develops a bruise, you have some background info. A simple fall from a swing could be a concusion. God forbid you don't know that it happened and you ignored symptoms when you got him home.

You shouldn't feel bad about asking how it happened or how your son handled the incident (cried?) because that is part of his emotional development. And if it was intentional, you should follow up on how the situation was disciplined and how it will be prevented (e.g., seperating the kids during lunchtime, etc.). You don't need to know who did it and they should NOT tell you. But you child probably will :) The issue is even if the act was intentional, it was another preschooler. Ultimately, it is the school's responsibility to deal with and mitigate or prevent normal acts by other kids.