Bringing 10 Month Old to Wedding and Reception

I wouldnt bring her. It wont be fun for her or you guys if she is scared or crying. Ive been in that situation, the family wants the baby there, but its not in her best interest. Get a sitter.

I would go, and sit in the very last row by the door so if she starts to act up you can leave fast with little disruption. At the after party, go have fun, and if it starts to be too much for her then leave.

I would take her - she might suprise you. Just have a plan if she's overwhelmed... one of you steps out so she's not distracting and she can get away from the noise. Is it close enough to home that you can bring her - then after dinner go home, put her down and come back for some adult time. Some kids are just sensitive and will always be. Taking her and being with her to help her adjust is good for her in the long run.

I would never bring a child that young to a wedding or a reception but that's just me. I could not imagine the baby having a meltdown in the middle of the ceremony - one of the most important days in a couple's lives. And, if she does meltdown then you'll be worrying about her all afternoon and evening. That hardly sounds enjoyable to me.

Find a babysitter so that you and your husband can go and spend some quality adult time together without having to worry about the baby.

I definitely would NOT bring her. The people that want to see your daughter will not be helping you out when she's screaming her head off because of the noise and / or people. If they really want to see you daughter, they can come to your house where she is more comfortable. But a wedding is not a place to bring a baby that doesn't like loud noises and a lot of people. You and your husband would mirerable the entire time. I say find a sitter and have fun!

I'm personally of the camp that babies have no business being at a wedding reception.
Do you have anyone that can watch her for a few hours while you go?

Go with your gut on this. It's loud, filled with people she won't know, and she'll likely be up past her bedtime. This is a recipe for a disaster. And people that are "would love to see her" won't think she's so adorable or interesting when she's screaming or fussy. Just the sad reality.

So I would say, unless you have someone to sit, do everyone a favor - yourself and daughter included especially - and sit this one out. The feelings that will be hurt are people that aren't being considerate of your situation and limitations, and if they're so troubled by the fact that you can't make it, they can stop by the following day or day of for a visit.

I would take her to both. I would also sit towards the back on the end so if you need to leave it's easy to. I'd make an appearance at the reception, if she starts acting up, then of course I would leave. I think your husband needs to be at his sister's wedding, and I do know a lot of people will like to see your baby.

Unless your sister-in-law has specifically invited children, absolutely do not bring her. It is such a special and expensive day for the bride and groom, that everyone needs to remember that. It is about them. Not you. And if you have to, the ceremony is one thing. But the reception should be a big no. Again, unless they have invited children, do not bring her.

Your daughter won't remember crying through the wedding, but the bride and other guest will. Leave your angel at home and bring lots of recent pictures for those who must she her.

Take care
J.

I agree with getting a sitter, at least for part of the time. Maybe take her to the ceremony and then drop her with the sitter for the reception. If you are not comfortable with a sitter, than you may need to sit this one out with your daughter at home while your husband supports his sister on her special day. People may be dissapointed if you aren't there, but you know what is best for your daughter, and you should do what is best for her, no matter what others want you to do. I stood up in my husband's cousin's wedding last year when my son was 18 months old. I couldn't find a sitter that I trusted to put my son to bed, so I left the reception early to put my son to bed, while my husband stayed at the reception. And at my husband's sister's wedding, my son was 5 months old, and I was nursing so I couldn't leave him with a sitter. I left the reception early to put him to bed while my husband stayed. I know it's hard to "miss out" on fun events when you have young children, but it's really only for a short time of your life. Good luck on whatever you decide to do. :)

it would be ideal if you could bring her for a few minutes for everyone to ooh and ahhh over, and then turn her over to a relative or sitter to bring her home. It's not fair to your daughter to thrust her into a loud unfamiliar situation at that age, and you'll have much more fun at the wedding knowing she's happy and well-cared for at home.

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow and decided to get my mother to babysit because my baby girl also could not handle the noisy loud music at the reception. If I were you I'd go to the wedding but leave your daughter home with a sitter.

I think you are right to follow your instincts and be respectful of your daughters personality right now. Babies don't really belong at receptions anyway. It is too loud, and there's nothing for them to do. Take her to the wedding for everyone to see her, and skip the reception. You know what's best for your own kid, not everybody else.

Get a babysitter and you and your husband go enjoy the wedding. It is entirely normal for her at this stage to be nervous of a crowd and repeated exposure doesn't help her. It can do the opposite. Give her some time to get acclimated to life and as she gets a little older she will likely get more comfortable. The book :the science of parenting is very informative about the scientific reasons why you shouldn't stress your child. You don't have to be a neuroscientist to read it but it is quite good on the neuroscience research. Enjoy the wedding.

I just went through this exact thing this past weekend. My sister got married and we did bring our 14 month old. She ended up doing great, and fell asleep in the umbrella stroller around 9pm and stayed asleep until we left around midnight. We changed her into her pajamas, rolled her around in the stroller for about 5 minutes out in the lobby, and then once she was asleep, draped my husband's suit jacket over the stroller and wheeled her back to our table. Our biggest mistake was bringing her to all of the pre-wedding events on Thursday and Friday night. That meant 3 nights of her being up late and getting out of her routine. She was a complete grouch this past Sunday though Tuesday, and we had trouble getting her to nap and go to bed as usual. She is usually an angel about both, but was so overtired and out of whack that she screamed for every nap and bedtime for 3 days, and was very fussy and cranky all three days. Yesterday was the first day she was better. I think she would have been fine if we had just done the one wedding night, and had her skip the thursday bbq and friday rehearsal. Good luck!

From 7months till a little after the 18 months range, my daughter was miserable around anyone she didn't know. She would cry even when someone came close to me to look at her. It did make outings a LOT more difficult and frustrating for both my husband and I, but it didn't prevent us from taking her out. Kids will have stranger anxiety, and they will be miserable around anyone they don't know. I feel if you don't expose them to other people, they'll just get worse. I would say take her to the wedding, and just stay very very close. Let people know that she's not very social and doesn't liked to be carried. You'll probably be exhausted and tired after the whole thing, but at least not all of you will have to miss it. Otherwise, if you still feel uncomfortable, find a baby sitter, and you and your husband go.

You could just have her come for the pictures but not the wedding. For my sister's wedding, my two boys were there for just the pictures and then whisked away to the babysitters for the remainder of the night. Years later, they think they attended. I even had to remind my husband that they were not there.

Get a sitter for during the wedding, and bring her to the reception.

There's no good that can come from having a 10 month old at a wedding ceremony. If you're lucky, she'll sleep through it or be content, but she won't remember it. She could seriously disrupt everyone in the sanctuary with even a brief period of crying, a loud burp, or any other noisy disturbance, and you'll be distracted trying to prevent that from happening. No one can control the timing of that happening.

If she cries at the reception, the disruption won't matter as much. People can see her there. Make sure that your sister-in-law is really, truly happy to have an infant at her wedding, because the new baby will steal some of the limelight. It's unlikely that "everyone" really wants an infant there--only everyone who you've asked. It's also possible that some of them didn't have the guts to say "don't bring her".

If you have a babysitter standing by, she could take the baby into another room at the church (bride's room or Sunday school classroom), and then help look after her at the reception if you and your husband want to dance, or take the baby out if she gets fussy during toasts, etc. If the wedding is out of town, ask for sitter recommendations from people who live there, or hire someone from a babysitting service. You'll be there in the same the building the whole time, so a new person won't be as much of a risk as leaving a baby at home with a new sitter.

Yes everyone wants your daughter at the wedding and reception but you and your hubby won't have a good time if you bring her. Get a friend to watch her for the day and go have a wonderful time.

I agree with some others, bring her to the wedding. Let everyone see her dressed up & have pictures taken. Leave her at home for the reception. Not only will your daughter feel better & get to bed on time, but you and your husband will have a good time when you don't have to worry if she is okay the entire time.

The key thing here is doing what's best for your daughter, not everyone else. Personally, I would have her stay home with a babysitter. If she's going to be miserable at the events (and you know, as her mom, how she reacts in these situations), there's no point in bringing her. You'll be stressed out and so will she. The focus really should be on the couple on their special day anyway, so I would think everyone would understand. I would just explain that she's scared by strangers and would be sad and uncomfortable at a wedding and reception. Our kids are older but I just know they will be bored out of their minds at weddings and be on their worst behavior, so we keep them at home with a babysitter when we're all invited.

One compromise, if this is feasible, is to keep her home with a babysitter, but then leave the reception part-way through and go get her. Then bring her for the end of the reception. By then, everyone has had time to eat and there will be less disruption if she acts up.

my yougest daughter was just 11 months this january when her and her sister were in my sister n laws wedding

have a sitter or your mom to help at church so that you and your husband can be attentive to the bride
do you really want her to miss family photos
weddings are important and its not like its a cousin's wedding or something this is immediate family

nap in between skip cocktail hour

have help for reception
someone who can take her for a walk in the stroller around the reception or outside

stay for an hour of dancing and go home

it can be done

I had the same situation and my DD was 6 mo at the time. if it is close to home you can just leave if you need to, try it and if it does not work leave. mine was about 1 hour away so we got a room in case we needed to leave, but my DD surpirzed us and had the best time! I am glad I took her.

I agree to respect your daughter's sensory needs. The wedding should be ok and take pictures etc. Then have a sitter/friend take her home and go on to the reception.
Anyone who has sensory issues and feels overwhelmed even as an adult would understand. If it continues to be an issue for her, you could also consider getting an Early Intervention evaluation, like an occupational therapist, to see if there are other methods you can do to help your daughter integrate her senses.

I brought my baby to a wedding, and he was fine. I think he was about 10 months too. The wedding had low ceilings and I was concerned about the loud DJ. He seemed to like it after the initial shock. I also brought my stroller to the wedding, because believe it or not, he got tired and took naps during the reception. Hopefully the reception hall in large enough so there is alot of room. Most guests leave after dinner (old people).

Don't take her. This is too special of a day for Bride and Groom. And believe it or not, many people attending also love the day for themselves. Take a photo of your beautiful daughter and carry it with you. Take the day off and enjoy it with your husband!

I think you should do what makes you and your daughter feel the best. My Husband and I are currently discussing this. Our son is quite calm and enjoys having people hold him but at the end of a loud noisy night I can tell the little guy has had enough and really wants Mama time. As I can see that this is wearing him out, I start to get stressed and try to run off away from the noise for a few minutes here and there and end up not enjoying our night. We have another wedding coming up here this weekend and I plan to take my son away from the noise right after dinner. I enjoy the quiet time with him and I will feel better about my night. My husband loves to show him off and doesn't see a problem with the noise as he doesn't freak out. However, I see that it wears on him and myself. I think your daughter's "freak outs" are her communication. I think she will have her whole life to get used to being around people and more noise little by little....if that helps you with your decision.

My daugher was I think 9 or 10 months last summer when we brought her to a family wedding. She does fine around crowds, strangers, noises, etc, but it's always been very important to keep her on a schedule, so my problem was more with how to put her to sleep at a reasonable hour at a night reception. Here's my advice: Put her in a sling or a moby wrap - she'll feel secure knowing that she's bound to you, and others will be more likely to respect her space and not come and take her out of your arms. Also, bring a reclining stroller or an infant car seat (if she's still in one) so that she can fall asleep in one of those (if that works for her, otherwise, you might have her sleeping in the sling for the night, which is fine too). Good luck!

I think you have to think of your daughters feelings first over everyone elses. According to how you have described her she would be much more comfortable and happy at home. You and the hubby would also be more relaxed and can enjoy your night out!!

Hi K.T. I would maybe bring her to the wedding ceremony, but be prepared for a quick exit if she starts getting loud. I would leave her at home for the reception. Consider it a date night for you and your husband and have a great time.

I would take her. Just be prepared to entertain her, distract her, etc. If she gets too freaked out, you or your husband can always step outside (you may want to sit near the back of the church close to the aisle so you can make a quick getaway) and if it that doesn't work and she REALLY acts up, you can leave early. At least you'll be able to say you went there because trust me, people (esp without kids) will NOT understand and will hold grudges for you not coming. Plus, you don't want ot make a habit of living your life in a way that you can't sustain. Keep up with your normal day to day and just tweak it for your child -- don't overhaul completely or you'll start getting resentful too.

It all depends on where the wedding is. Are you staying in a hotel or is it close to home? What about finding someone that you can have as a babysitter after awhile. Bring your daughter to the wedding and some of the reception, but before it gets too loud with the music, hand her off to a babysitter that she likes to play with her and put her to bed. That will give you guys time to have fun and hopefully not overwhelm her. You can also just give her to the babysitter as soon as she is overwhelmed. Make this good for all of you. Have fun!

I have 2 little ones and always brought my oldest to weddings and other events. But honestly I've realized that they are SO much happier at that time of night at home in their own beds sleeping. Also at 10 months old, she's going to want to be down on the floor crawling around everywhere, which she likely won't be able to do. And I'm so much happier getting a fun night out without having to worry about getting the baby to sleep, worrying if he'll stay asleep, then managing a tired cranky one if he does wake up during the reception. Make it the best of both worlds - bring her to the ceremony. That way family can see her before and after the ceremony. And take her home to a sitter after that and meet everyone at the reception. If she doesn't normally like loud noise (picture a huge room full of people drinking, talking loudly, and also the music) or strangers, imagine how much she won't like them after her bedtime. If anyone has a problem with you guys not bringing her to the reception, politely explain that she was ready to crash after the ceremony and that she was so happy when you got her in her bed at home. Or just don't worry about what anyone else thinks - they wouldn't be the ones taking care of her at the reception!

Have a night out - have some fun!!

we invited every neice and nephew to our wedding and were THRILLED when they came - even the infants and young babies and toddlers. I love kids and it was just natural, and honestly would have been sad if they had missed it.

Could you have a person on call to come get your child, perhaps her daycare provider or babysitter? Since it's a relative getting married is there a favorite aunt or grandma of the child that you could ask to have at your table for the reception? Could you go knowing that you may have to step out at some point for her to have a break? If the wedding or reception is during her normal nap time then she may sleep right through it.

Ah, this is always tricky. We always get a sitter if possible so that my husband and I can enjoy the wedding/reception without worrying about entertaining our daughter and bothering other people. But, there have been two times when a sitter wasn't an option, so my daughter has been to two weddings - one at 7 months and one at 14 months - it's doable. I wouldn't say it was relaxing, but we did still have fun. And our family and friends that don't live near us did appreciate the opportunity to see her. If a sitter isn't an option for you, I'd try going with your daughter - your husband can stay to support his sister and you can leave with your daughter if it's not going well.

Here are a few tips from my experience:
* During the ceremony, sit near an exit and be prepared to quickly leave with your daughter if she starts making noise.
* Depending on when it is, you will probably also need to leave the reception early so that your daughter can get to bed at a decent time.
* It's likely there won't be a place-setting or meal for babies at the reception - though I have been to a couple weddings where there were highchairs, usually they are expected to sit on your lap and eat from your plate (or bring their own food).

Absolutely trust your instincts. If your daughter is comfortable with something like a worship service, then she should be comfortable with a wedding -- I think it's a similar kind of grand and musical pagentry. It sounds as if the reception is the place for you and your husband but not for your daughter. Is it possible to get a sitter for your daughter, while you and your husband attend the reception?