Breastfeeding/Weaning/Sleep Training

It's a good thing you didn't wean her.... all those antibodies and optimal nutrition she's been getting most likely helped her illnesses not be worse.

She just had TWO bouts of illness... let her be a baby! When infants and young toddlers get sick, they revert to their last level of coping - which is usually "I need my Mommy". Seems the main issue is overnight sleeping and naps.

Her napping once a day is normal for her age development. Overnight, unless you want to hear her cry herself to sleep while begging for Mommy to come for her... sleep with her on the floor in her room, or bring her to your bed and sleep.

Bed sharing and breastfeeding are the two most important decisions I made that changed the life of my child. Now my baby is 5 years old and ready for her own room - confident and happy, independent and curious - we are happy to see her make her own choices and be proud of herself that she did.

How often is she nursing?
Are you nursing on-demand or on a schedule?
How is her intake of foods/whole milk, during the day?

12 months old, was a growth-spurt time. Naturally, at these junctures, a baby needs more intake and they get hungrier. Day and night. Intake has to keep pace with them... and their growing.

Also, at certain milestone periods and developmental changes, a baby naturally gets sleep tweaks. It is growing pains. Cognition changes, motor skills etc. And this can affect their usual sleep/nap routines. It is a phase. It does not necessarily mean they do 'not' need a nap.
Just keep to a routine... daily.
An over-tired child, actually has a harder time falling asleep and sleeping well and they wake more.....

Also, at different age-junctures, they get various forms of separation-anxiety, and differing needs for 'bonding.' Thus they wake more. It is developmental.

Is she drinking whole milk by now?
You said she does not take bottles. Does she take sippy cups or straw cups???? Try that.

Does she have a Lovey to sleep with? If not, let her have one. As a comforting, alternative.

NO matter what, weaning when it is a growth-spurt period, is not a good 'timing' to wean. Because at these junctures, a baby will naturally need more intake. So do not wean then.

Its hard.

With our kids, we have a floor futon in our room. The kids can sleep THERE, if they want. We don't have night time sleep battles, because of that. When younger, I used to co-sleep with them. They do grow out of it.

Illness can really wreak havoc on sleep schedules! My DD was the same way--her sleep was almost more disrupted once the illness had subsided than during it. Even at that age they know their routine has been changed--(Hey Mommy is in here with me!) and thus do not wish to return to the way it was before.

I don't agree that you need to bed share now permanently that you had to for her illness. There are many who want to raise their children that way and there are many who don't and you know what --just like with other parenting choices children deal well with what you choose as long as you are consistent and compassionate. And no you don't have to let her full on CIO in order to get her back to her previous routine. Try looking up Baby Whisperer or No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley--they have non-CIO methods you can use to get her settled back in her own crib.

As for the 2 naps--you may want to choose your battle at this point--some kids transition to one long nap at this age some don't. As long as she is taking one nice long nap--2-3 hours she should be fine if she sleeps well at night again. She may be so overtired from waking all night that it is messing up her daytime sleep and vice versa. Good luck! There are ways you can deal with this without feeling guilty that you haven't chosen cosleeping just because other moms choose that for themselves:)

Oh my goodness, what your family has been through! Of COURSE she's all thrown off (and I bet you are as well)! My suggestion would be wait a little longer to wean. (Note: I was not a successful breastfeeder, so I'm not speaking from direct experience, just general Mommy experience.) My thought is she may seek the comfort of breastfeeding while you're helping her to get back to the good sleeper she once was.

My thought would be work on night sleeping first because then EVERYONE will be better rested and ready to tackle the other stuff during the day. Plus, I found with my kids that, as I worked on night sleeping, their naps got a little better without even trying. Then there was less work to do once night sleep was conquered.

The CIO vs. not is up to you. I used CIO very successfully with my daughter and she is now a really good sleeper (and shows zero signs of being scarred by the experience). My son didn't need it because he was a dream baby when it comes to sleep! :)

But if you don't believe in CIO, there are plenty of other books, suggestions, etc. that should get you going.

Just my two cents, but I hope it helps. Take a deep breath. Your family has dealt with a lot and things are crazy, but you WILL get through this!