Breastfeeding Question - Overland Park,KS

My second son can be a lazy eater, too. There are a few tips that help me:
1. I rub behind his ear, and that helps him eat again.
2. I blow in his face (sounds mean, I know).
3. I put a cold hand on his back.
4. I tickle his foot.
This is all just to help him get back to the task at hand. I also pump when I work so he gets milk when I'm gone.

My first son wouldn't really breastfeed at all, so I pumped for about 10 months, but I had so much in the freezer that he drank breast milk until over one year. That worked for us, too.

Hi K.,
You've gotten great advice.

I 2nd the people who say try to get him to breast as much as possible without the bottle. If all else fails, by all means pump! I could never get my kids to latch on correctly despite repeated attempts with a lactation consultant. I got so sore it was either pump or quit. So I pumped and it worked, but it is very time consuming as well. Bottom line do what works for you...there is no wrong answer. The milk and the love you give are most important!

Best wishes and congrats!

Hi K.!
Congrats on baby! I just wanted to say, I was basically in the same situation, execpt my son never really was able to latch on correctly. And Im not sure if you know what happens to breasts when a baby doesnt latch on correctly. Its not pretty. Heres what I did, I would feed him a little from the bottle, to the point where has wasnt all upset about being hungry and then I would put him on the breast to try to practice more that way. The latching on never really worked out, trust me, I tried. So I strictly pumped for him for a month. Its VERY time consuming pumping 6-8 times a day and trying to take care of another child. I wasnt happy about it, but after a month I decided to switch him to formula, because I thought it was best for everyone, including my hungry 4 year old while I was pumping. When your pumping, your basically feeding your baby twice, as far as time goes. Its hard. I am def not trying to discourage you from this, but my advice, keep practicing on the breasts when your baby is calm and not starving. Maybe when your just laying there cuddling you could try it. He may get the hang of it and you will only have to pump on occasions, not all the time. I really cannot stress this more, breast milk is best for baby, but if breastfeeding is making you all miserable, please dont beat yourself up over it and do what you think is best for your family. And please dont let anyone tell you formula is not good for your baby. My son almost lost a pound because he wasnt breastfeeding properly, and Im sure glad I was able to give him formula in the mean time. Not everyone has been in your exact situation and have no idea how it feels, so dont let people make you feel bad about what your doing and know is best for your baby. All babies are different, I had no problems breastfeeding my first and with my 2nd it was very hard. I wouldnt give up yet, sometimes it takes awhile for them to completely figure it out. God bless you and your family! Good luck!

I have nursed both my boys and I am still nursing my youngest. He is 21 months. I nursed my oldest till he was two. I never gave my children a bottle until they were 2 months old. It is too easy to use a bottle. Who wants to work when they can get it the easy way. I recomend putting up the bottle. You are in the most difficult time of nursing as you are both learning. I know I wanted to throw in the towel many times. Babies were made to nurse. He will get it. If you stress about it, it will make it harder to nurse. I recomend spending a lot of time at home. In the early stages of nursing it was easiest for me just to have my shirt off while nursing. Put on some relaxing music fix yourself a snack, read a book whatever makes you comfortable. You can help by using your hands to express some milk while your son gets started. Also, feed him more often. Nursing babies need to eat more often because they are better able to digest the food that was made just for them. If he is starving then he will get really frustrated if his milk isn't coming as quickly as the bottle. You can also join the La Leche League. They meet at the libraries, WIC has breastfeeding specialists and call your doctor. I am sure they could help as well.

Hi K.,
I had a similar problem with breastfeeding as well. My daughter just didn't like my somewhat flat/rounded nipples, and she would fight and fuss when it was time to nurse. I remember the first night we had her home and she screamed and screamed because she was hungry but wouldn't nurse. We finally gave her a bottle and she was so content! I tried the nipple caps/covers and they worked ok, but she still fought it. I finally caved in and just pumped exclusively for the next three months. This did make my transition back to work much easier, and I didn't feel guilty because she was still getting breastmilk. I agree with the other moms that you have to be dedicated and pump as often as he takes the bottle (if he takes 8 bottles, you need to pump 8 times a day). My daughter was always content after a bottle, so I took that time to pump the next bottle's worth.

I had some low production at first, but my doctor prescribed some type of medicine and I saw a noticable increase (metaclopromide or something like that). Don't feel guilty - breastmilk is best, no matter how he gets it.

Since I just had this problem with my 3rd - my advice will be different. My 3rd just couldn't/wouldn't nurse properly. I tried for 3-4 weeks. I had a lactation consultant, support from la leche, my ped, my OB, mamasource, etc. etc. NOTHING helped. I was a wreck!! I felt angry, sad, disappointed, stressed, like a failure - you get the pic. While all babies are "made" to nurse - not all can or want to. I asked my ped and OB what would happen if I lived in a cave 1,000 yrs. ago and they both said the same thing "She would have died". So my advice to you is if it's not working for either of you - PUMP! I got on a pump routine every 2-3 hours and got more of a supply than with my first two. Whoever tells you the "pump isn't as effective as a baby" has NEVER stuck with it. I pumped enough in 6 MONTHS to last my baby over a year and a half! She's 13 months and I still have a FULL side by side freezer untouched (we've gotten through the deep freeze I had to buy!!) I am just as BONDED with my baby, I just had to give her a bottle with breast milk in it. She's no less cuddly, sweet and loving than her siblings that drank straight from the breast. It did make time management easier too. I pumped in the car as my husband drove longer distances (20-40 minute rides) so I wouldn't have to pump at the destination.

Sorry to be so winded but you should NOT be made to feel like a failure for something your baby can't do. I tried many times after those 3-4 weeks to breastfeed and she just wasn't interested. It took her nearly a month to get back to her birth weight so CLEARLY breastfeeding was NOT working for her/us. For what it's worth she also slept through the night sooner and longer than my other 2. I'm pregnant again with our "grand finale" and will of course breastfeed. At least now I know if it comes down to it, I can always just pump. Do what's right for both of you and NEVER worry what others say. You're his mommy and NO ONE else can be that for him. Best of luck to you.

I strongly urge you to contact La Leche ____@____.com (find your local/closest group and give the leader a call). LLL is made up of experienced moms who have breastfed and also have access to the most up-to-date information!!! Someone once told me that breastfeeding advice is like baking advice. When baking a cake do you ask the person with the small, burnt cake that just didn't quite make it or the person with the nice fluffy yummy cake that has obviously baked before? Get breastfeeding 'recipes' from others who have made it work for them!!! Good luck!

Hi K.!

I have some mixed reactions to some of the responses that you're getting, so I hope you're still feeling good! I did exclusively pump for about 4-4.5 months with my daughter. I had the same issues and I was just so darn tired that one day I just snapped and couldn't try with the breast any more. I talked to all kinds of consultants and although they were very helpful and nice I couldn't get the same results on my own and it only caused more frustation! Like some of the others said, you have to be very dedicated to the pump! With only one child it was fairly easy but I don't know how easy it will be since you already have another one to look after. (I have wondered the same thing for myself since I'm due in Oct..) The best advice I can give you is to buy a hands-free boustierre, if you don't have one already...they are a LIFE SAVER! It enables you to pump and feed at the same time so you're cutting your time in half. You can get it at the Mommy and Me store at Shawnee Mission. I do have a friend that pumped while driving and maybe that would help with time management too...LOL! Good luck and remember that you are still doing the best you can by giving him breast milk and even if you have to stop pumping IT IS OKAY! He will grow and be smart and healthy and if you feel good then he will feel good too! Healthy mom = healthy baby!!!

you are not alone. my daughter who is 3 months old still does not empty out my breast, so during the day from 9 am to about 5 pm i express milk for her. From 5 pm on, i nurse her. I'm happy, she's happy (she prefers nursing over bottlefeeding). It's very rare now that i give her a supplement, but in the beginning i did since my milk production wasn't that great.

hang in there, you are doing great by your son :)

hi K....i don't really have any personal advice, luckily my son latched right on and i nursed for 16 months. i did pump at work and he would take a bottle while i was working, but not often cuz i was part time for a year after he was born. my best friend on the other hand has a hard time getting her newborn son to latch on. her first son nursed for 18 months and didn't latch at first...she pumped exclusively for 3 months and then tried nursing again...he latched. her 3 week old won't latch on right now either. she is pumping while she feeds him a bottle. it works for her and i think that whatever works for you is the best option. your son may latch on at some point like my friend's son did...but he may not. i wish you the best of luck and i agree that breastmilk is the best option and cheapest i might add! good luck and keep it up!!

My daughter was premature and had an awful time nursing. I did pump breast milk and fed it to her in bottles. Over time, my supply did suffer, so I would suggest that you keep trying with him sometimes if you can.

Also, our pediatrician recommended I take the herbal supplement Fenugreek, available at health food stores. It really does help with supply!

Finally, make sure you have a decent pump if you are going to be doing a lot of pumping. They really are worth the money. You are doing the right thing by trying to get him as much breast milk as possible! Good luck!

Nurse every chance you get! Supplimenting is not good for your supply - or your son. Pumping and giving a bottle may also be counter-productive. It is more difficult to get milk from your breast than from even the slowest flow bottles. This is good for your son! Suckling is best for his oral, dental, and language development. If you stop the bottles, he will get vigorous at nursing. You are both learning to do this together, so keep trying! LLLI is a great resource.

One thing I was told when my son was nodding off during nursing sessions was to have a cool damp cloth ready and when he started to doze, wipe his cheeks and face. It made him just uncomfortable enough to not sleep, but wasn't harmful in any way, and it did the trick. He would wake and finish the job.

Best wishes and God Bless you for wanting what is Best for your son!

Remember that even a good pump can never get as much from you as your baby can. Having said that, there are lots of women who pump and continue their supply as long as they want. You have to do what works for you. I would give it a little more time though before you take him off completely. Breastfeeding is work for both mom and baby and sometimes it takes a little while for the baby to get the hang of it too. Having the baby do it is so much easier then pumping. Try backing off on the bottles a little because if he learns that the bottle is easier, which it is, then he will not want the breast. Get him on a schedule based on his usual feeding times and stick to it. Make him work until he learns how to be efficient. It is frustrating and takes time but once you both get into the rhythum, you will be glad you did it.

My niece couldn't latch on so my sister in law pumped for 11 months every 3 hours. She had so much stockpiled that she still had enough until she was a year, she was totally fine with it. Honestly the milk is more important than the means!

Have you seen a lactation consultant or consulted with La Leche League? Maybe there is a problem with your latch or they could have additional suggestions how to arouse your sleepy nursling while feeding? I don't know if you have already done this but both are great resources. Hopefully they can find solutions to get you to the point where you can just simply nurse to feed your baby (instead of having to nurse, pump, and supplement). Hang in there mama, I'm confident you'll find a solution that works for you and your family!

Oh, and Congrats!

Go to the La Leche League website to find the group leader closest to you: www.llli.org

I exclusively pumped for 14 months for my firstborn and 13 months for my second. My first was born 15 weeks premature and due to a number of reasons she needed a bottle and when my second was born, that was all I knew so it was just natural for me to pump for her too. I got on a routine of pumping 3 sometimes 4 times a day and I had sooo much extra supply. Once you have pumped and emptied both breasts, continue to pump for two more minutes and this extra demand will increase your supply along with eating and drinking more calories per day. If this is something you want to do - invest in a good pump. I liked the Medela pump in style. I always got mixed reactions from people, but it was what worked for me and my family and I'm proud of the fact that they each received breastmilk for over a year.
Here is a resource: www.exclusivelypumping.com

Hi K.,
Congratulations on breastfeeding!! I had a lazy eater too! She just wanted to sleep. I want to also say...this is a learning thing for the babies too, he's only 2 weeks old, so remember, this will change a lot every week. My daughter changed to a robust eater at about 6-8 weeks (like a switch flipped!).

I used a nipple sheild for a time being so she'd latch better. To wean off of it, I would start her with that and when she was eating like a mad woman, I would slip her off and it off and put her back and she'd be fine. She was a couple of months old at that point.

Once you get him eating well (with age), it will be much easier to feed him than to pump and feed him. (Just think, with the pump, you have to clean it, clean the bottles, make time to pump and make time to feed. With your breast, you just have to have the time to feed (and the snuggling is the bestest!!)!

I know of people who exclusively pump. Never even tried to put them to breast for whatever reasons. They did it for a full year and then used the rest of the milk til the babies were 1 and a half and 2 years old. It worked for them.

Check out www.kellymom.com and also www.breastfeeding.com. Their info is good. Excellent point was made on here about asking the people with the excellent cake how to bake. You can get through this! Take the advice from the successful breastfeeders!!

And remember, your baby is just a teeny, tiny brand-new born. It will take a little bit more time and he'll be so easy you won't remember this time!

Keep up the great work!
K.

My son spent his first 30 days of life at Children's Mercy. I was unable to nurse him, but I did pump. I pumped so much that we had to buy an extra freezer. He was discharged on a feeding tube, so I could not nurse him. But, I did continue to pump and he got breastmilk in his tube. There are MANY ways to raise a happy healthy child...these include breastmilk, bottles, formula, etc.

Some babys are lazy, while at the breast they have to work a little extra to feed then from a bottle, the bottle flows out easier. If you dont want your milk supply to stop you can always just pump and feed him the breast milk. They have storage bags u can store the breastmilk in and freeze them.
http://www.breastisbest.com/infofreezingbreastmilk.html

http://parenting.ivillage.com/newborn/nbreastfeed/0,,3x0h...

The more you use the pump he will not work to get it out of the breast.

My sister-in-law pumped then bottle fed for almost 12m onths. It worked for her but she had not other kids.
One of my daughters was underweight so i nursed then gave her formula. I had to work to get my milk supply back up but it worked for us.