Tessie,
First of all, breathe. Second of all, give yourself a break. In interpreting others' words as criticism towards you and your diet, it shows that you are feeling overwhelmed by it all. It's tough to have such great responsibility. And yet, try to feel into the connection and beauty that exists in the process of feeding your baby. How amazing is it that our children can grow and thrive just from the milk we produce. Try to feel into this magical place more and the place of worry about "doing it right" less.
Breastfeeding can be difficult and painful and downright discouraging when it's not going smoothly. I have an almost 7-month old son. There have been moments when I've felt like throwing in the towel, because of a clogged duct or it's the middle of the night and he's having trouble latching on..whatever it is that particular moment. Then I just have to take a deep breath and remember that this time will not last forever and that providing my son with the best nutrition possible (which for me means breastfeeding) is important. Every mom/parent has to decide what works for their lives too. For some that means deciding not to breastfeed. There's no judgment here. :)
Now, after saying all that, I also want to say that there are things that can cause colic (abdominal discomfort/cramps) which may be the reason your daughter is doing lots of grunting. YOu might try eliminating some of those foods for a while just to see if it helps. Below is some advice offered by a loving post-partum counselor who helped me tremendously in adjusting to motherhood and breastfeeding...
Foods that may cause digestive upset: broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, kale, onion, garlic, lentils, beans, soy & soy products, peanuts, spicy food, milk, cheese, chocolate, coffee.
Your baby's digestion track in new. Keeping your food simple for the first few months helps you and your baby adjust to being nourished together. Adding one new food at a time makes it easy to learn how your baby feels about the new food. Giving 24 to 48 hours between foods at least.
Some ideas of what to eat:
oatmeal, soaked almonds, maple syrup, quinoa pasta, brown rice pasta, avocado, squash and other veggies, eggs, yogurt, fish, chicken, red meat, fruit, whole grains (quinoa, millet, barley and brown rice), bread, sprouted bagels (good protein and quick easy food), sea vegetables, non-gassy soups, oat and rice milk (oat milk brings in mama's milk!)
Keep it simple. Eat often. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day. Be patient with yourself.