Breastfeeding and Starting to Wean

Updated on October 10, 2006
K.M. asks from Beaverton, OR
14 answers

I am currently breastfeeding pretty much exclusively, my concern is that my husband and I planned a trip for 7 days to Mexico before I found out I was pregnant. Well, now my son will take a bottle of formula occassionally, but sometimes he refuses. I don't know how to make the switch to bottle before we leave. I don't want to leave my mom with a fussy baby. It really stinks because I am having conflicted feelings about this Mexico trip. Does anybody have any suggestions?????

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So What Happened?

Well, he's taking the bottle better now. I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who gave me advice on what I was asking, which was how to wean, not if I should go on the trip, or continue to breastfeed. I had made my decision on breastfeeding and weaning, and I just feel that I got some very opinionated advice that I was not asking for!

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C.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

hey there, my name is C... anyway, why dont you try pumping and then freeze it or store it, and then we can still have the milk but also learn to eat from a bottle, thats what i did with my first, it does take some adjusting but it should work... GOOD LUCK!

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M.V.

answers from Las Vegas on

Personally, I would ask myself some questions.

1. if you go, and do wean before you go, will you feel guilty? will you regret it? is it worth it?

2. If you don't go, how would you feel about it? Would you have negative feelings towards your child?

3. If you were formula feeding only, how would you feeling about the trip, and leaving your child for a week? Do you think you'd get through the 7 days?

For me, whether i was breastfeeding or bottle feeding, it would be a definite no on leaving my baby for a week long trip. I just wasn't ready. The inlaws wanted me to wean her so I could "leave" her with them for a few days, but I declined, DH thought it was because I was BFing, but I explained to him that it was just not our time, we were not ready, and it wasn't BFing that defined that for me.

I have so far skipped many opportunities, yearly conferences I would have *LOVED* to go to, because I have a nursling. It's tempting, but I think about it this way: My daugther will only need me so close for a very short period of time. In the overall years of her life, to give her my presence when she needs it the most for a year or two, is I believe, my priority. There can be many trips, many conferences, many whatevers. But there's only ONE of you and ONE of your child, and ONE breastfeeding experience.

I don't regret putting off things. I am very happy with those decisions, and very happy with how long I've nursed my daugther, who looks to be starting to wean all on her own (well, I led the night weaning, but she's led the rest). Looking back, now that I'm "at the other end" I'd say treasure it. Hold to that little baby, and know that you're doing the best by breastfeeding your child.

If you do decide to go, know that pumping, stashing BM for your child in advance can be done.

If you decide to wean, beware that your trip will probably not be "milkless" and if you stop abruptly, you can cause painful engorgement, and even a breast infection. So do it gradually, or take the pump with you and pump out a little to make yourself comfortable.

My DH was bugging me about a trip "just the two of us" too, but I passed, and now that he sees his daughter growing happily, and weaning at her own pace, he understands better why I did so.

2 moms found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

K.,
Breastfeeding and weaning you baby is a very personal, very emotional choice to make. Some of the responses you've received have been very opinionated. I would suggest that you ask yourself the question you have posted and reason to yourself why you choose to breastfeed. Is the breastfeeding relationship with your baby a good one? Is your milk production what you want it to be, and will you be able to sustain it for the vacation if you wish to? Do you want to wean or do you want to continue breastfeeding when you get back from your vacation? You've had two children in a short amount of time and you are emotionally and physically drained. One of the best things that you can do for your children is to take care of the relationship between their parents. You not only need to focus on the rearing of your children, but the relationship with yourself and your husband as well. Does he deserve 7 days of your attention and do you deserve the time to breathe yourself?
Best of Luck.
TRUDI

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H.B.

answers from Las Vegas on

`Hi KIm,

I am so much happier to see the positive responses today vs some real negative advice. I had written a 10 minute letter on 10-5 but right before I sent it out my cat jumped up and hit something on the key board and erased everything.

I would like to condone those mothers out there that suggested pumping during the trip. I agree wholeheartenly. I had to go on a conference(for BF) when my daughter was 9 months old. we did not have a good nursing relationship for the first 4 weeks. Go figure, at that point I had been teaching BF for 2 1/2 years and knew it all (HA!!! HA!!!) So I thought. We survived our 5 days with out nursing. My husband even brought my 9 month old 1/2 way thru the conference, just so we could reconnect and I could BF> Well, at the time my daughter was not too happy with me and refused to BF. I had alot of guilt, because I was not ready to wean. Well, when I returned to the conference, I looked like my best friend had died. I don't think I could have made it thru with out the support of my diads at the time. I guess if your going to meltdown about BF, A room full of women who teach, support and are passionate about bf is where you want to be.

Enough about me.... I just wanted to add a little about the pumping. If you decide to pump while your in mexico, please throw it away. I do not say this lightly. If you are overly full and do not pump while you are in mexico. You could end up with mastitus( a breast infection, that includes, achy flu like symptoms, fevers, chill and possible the need for antibiotics). Is Mexico, where you want to be treated for medical problems?
Have you considered bringing your infant with you? I know this would not be my first choice, but it is a choice. Why not consider all of them.
If you have questions about pumping, mastitus or weaning, feel free to email me a personal note and I will get back to you.
Nobody has the right to tell you how long you should BF for. Nobody else is doing the feeding. If you decide to wean, do it slowly. Introduce 1 new bottle every 3-7 days. Pump for 2-5 minutes, if you feel engorged (overly full) for that skipped feeding. When you nolonger feel full add another feeding of formula. The slower you introduce the formula the better your body and the babies body will react. If a BF baby goes from almost exclusive BF to exclusive formula feeding, the babies usually get constipated. Also, it can take up to 2 weeks of full formula feeding to develope an allergy or intolerance to the formula. If you go slow, the symptoms may still be there but not as evident or severe. If you do quit over night, something I usually do not recommend unless medically advised. I know this may sound stupid, but here goes.... Purchase a head of green cabbage. REfrigerate the cabbage and peel off the leaves , once they are cold. PLace leaves in bra until wilted, continue the process for 24 hours and your milk will dry up. PLease do not use this if you are considering returning to breastfeeding. It has been known to dry the milk up over night. Milk is really hard to get back once the supply has been decreased. So, if your not sure, bring a pump, pump and dump (sorry) they will not let you bring that much liquid aboard the plan, plus for sanitary abd storage reasons.
This is only one of many hard decisions you are going to have to make as a parent. I think you probably already know that being a parent of a 2.5 yrs old. It only gets better and more challenging, my kids are 8 & 12. Got to love the tweens!!!!
Good luck and enjoy your trip to Mexico. I found it beautiful, though I only saw it thru the eyes of a cruise and scuba diving. I hope you enjoy your trip. Try not to feel guilty about what ever decision you make!!!!! You have done a wonderful thing by BF for 3 months. Alot of Mothers want to bf but it just doesn't work out for them. Be happy with the time you have had.

H. B.

P.S. You may want to provide your mother with an article of clothing ( a nice soft shirt or nighty) that has the sent of your body and milk on it. This may help sooze her in time of crisis with Grandma. Sometimes just having a reminder of you is enough to keep them happy for the time being. You may even want to squirt, pour or somehow get your sent of breastmilk on that article of clothing.

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A.

answers from Las Vegas on

There is some great advice on here K. and it is your choice to go on the trip or not. The Women's Care Center rents some great pumps if you do choose to go. Their # is ###-###-####. To keep your milk supply up while your gone pumping is ESSENTIAL!

Good Luck!
A.

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K.C.

answers from Las Vegas on

I second the opinion about pumping in advance, but also you should pump while you're away, even if you dump it. You don't want to let your milk production suffer while you're gone.

I personally couldn't stand to be away from my baby that long, but that's my choice and other people are more secure. Maybe if I had family in town to care for her, I'd be more inclined to travel away from her.

But I definitely wouldn't give up breastfeeding for anything other than medical necessity (and by that I mean DIRE necessity, which is actually very, very rare). It's too important to my baby's health and IQ. I'd advise that you pump as much as you can before you go, and if it's not enough, a little formula isn't the end of the world.

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J.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

What part of Mexico??
I, Personally, Didn't like Mexico, so I'd say skip the Trip. That�s a personal decision though. I've heard it all depends on where you go, I went to Roserita and Ensenada, which many people absolutely Love Roserita and Ensenada, but to me, it was Dirty, Smelly and full of Poverty, Garbage and Stray Animals, not to mention the kids worked on the streets instead of going to school (very sad-depressing trip) However, It truly humbled me and made me grateful for what we have (so readily available) here in America, (I bawled when I got back and saw our American flag) So I'm glad I went and I actually recommend the experience to everyone, there really is so much here we take for granted, I just wouldn�t put it before what may be more important, but then again, I don�t think I'd put any trip over the experience of nursing my baby, I�m not sure. Maybe you could pray about it and get in touch with what truly feels right for you.
I have no idea how to transfer your baby so quickly from nursing to a bottle.
Best of Luck to you.

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R.F.

answers from Pocatello on

hi K.,

it sounds like everyone has strong opinions, and that can be intimidating. welcome to parenthood, where you can tend to feel like every choice is loaded with guilt...

as for your trip - wow! sounds like fun (: go for it. for sure!

breast milk, formula... maybe create a stash if you can. i don't know if you can rent a pump around here, but i used one for almost 18m... nursing didn't work, but bottles did. there were times were i travelled with him or without, and i just pumped to make up the difference. we mixed formula at times, and he did just fine.

as to IQ, your baby is not smarter or less smart relating to your nursing him or formula-feeding. don't add to your already loaded choices.

your mom sounds wonderful, and i doubt he would be fussy the whole time. i think she knows how much you need this trip and she's looking forward to bonding with your little guy

have a good trip (:

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K.O.

answers from Portland on

Go have fun on your trip. Try to start introducing the bottle before you go, maybe mostly during the day at first, and then more so during the evening and nighttime. If it goes well, good. If not, don't worry. He'll take the bottle when you're gone, he won't starve himself. Your mom will live through seven days with a fussy baby! :)

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K.

answers from Anchorage on

Honestly, I'd pump like a mad woman and build a stash for your mom to have while you are gone.

I realize everyone's opinion is different, but I'd never give up my breastfeeding relationship for a 7 day vacation.

Worst case... pump like mad.. and if she has to mix with formula while you are gone, so be it... pump and dump while you are on vacation... and go back to nursing when you get home.

I had lots of instances (had several surgeries) where I had to forgo nursing for a few days at a time, and my dd kept nursing strong till she weaned at few months ago at 33 months.

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M.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I believe that breast feeding is more important than anything else. Of course, that's my opimion. I'd skip the trip!

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R.G.

answers from Seattle on

First of all, your mom has raised at least one child, I'm sure she can handle another for 7 days, fussy or not!!

Secondly, I wouldn't give up a trip that was planned so far in advance, and is something you are looking forward to. If I ever could have that opportunity, I'd take it.

Thirdly, I agree with the advice about pumping. It's 7 days, so it's not going to change the world. If you pump, then your child still gets the breastmilk while you are gone, and you will still have milk when you go back home. Even 7 days on formula wouldn't change much but if you want to continue to breastfeed when you get home, pump while you're away.

Have fun in Mexico!!
Beka

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E.O.

answers from Anchorage on

hi... new here!

I just weaned my baby girl Emma at 7 months, because I wasnt making enough milk and she was losing weight. I got a lot of negative opinions from the pro-BFer's out there (including my mom!!), but in the end, I had to do what was right for our family. Sounds like you are doing the same thing! I think it is fantastic that you are taking this trip with your DH, it will be good for both of you to go have a relaxing time as adults. As for the weaning, first find a bottle that he likes. I think that is half the battle. Make sure the nipple is comfortable for him and he can suckle easily. We use the Dr.Brown's bottles, and Emma has seemed happy with them. Then, with the formula, ease into it, mixing it with Bmilk, at increasing ratios. For instance, start with 4oz Bmilk and 2oz formula, then 3oz Bmilk and 3oz formula, then 2oz Bmilk and 4oz formula. You should be able to make a smooth transition in the next few weeks. Emma went from full Bmilk to full formula in about 4 days. Then, we had to switch to soy formula, but that was a whole different issue. Anyway, hope you have fun on your trip!!!

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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

Have you tried mixing breast milk and formula and then mixing more fomucla in with the breast milk i did that with my daughter and it worked, but every kid id different.

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