Boy/girl - Nutley,NJ

I found out with my first 2 but did not with my 3rd. There is no way to describe the feeling of the birth and not knowing what gender the baby is. I really felt like I got to know "Her" for who she by meeting her at delivery vs me creating this personality based off the gender of the baby in utero.

If we decide to have a 4th - we will doo the same as the 3rd and wait for delivery.

I was like you...I couldn't wait. I don't understand how people can wait to find out, especially if it's the first. Finding out made my pregnancy even more meaningful since I would fantazise on a whole new level. Plus, I already knew it would be a boy so I wanted to be able to say "Told you so" as early as possible. People have VERY different opinions about pregnancy, childbirth, ect. There is no "right" way.

My husband and I decided to wait to find out and we got the same responses . . . "Ohhhhhh, you aren't going to find out?!?" Everyone has an opinion. Just wait until you start telling people the name you have chosen!

Sam:

I didn't find out with my daughter (now 25).

I didn't HAVE to find out with my boys....with my boys got a really deep voice...it was totally hilarious!! When I got pregnant with Alexis (we lost her at 22 weeks) I had a really girly voice, my nails grew and we sooo knew we were having a girl.

I personally would rather be surprised...but that's ME. If you would like to know - that's what works for YOU!

I didn't want to know. My wife? She was 50/50...I like surprises.

Am I disappointed that I don't have a boy? Kinda. But I've got three beautiful girls so I'm good!

We had boy and girl names picked out. So it didn't matter to us.

Oh, I can't wait either!!!
I have always found out and have never regretted it.
Now I am counting the weeks to know if #3 is a boy or girl.

I always tell my friends to really make it a special day...go out and have a nice meal after your appt. and then go out and buy an adorable pink or blue outfit.

So much fun! Such great memories! Ahhh!!! I can't wait! ;)

P.S. Completely agree w/ S.N. about not sharing the name until birth! Don't do it!!! Talk about frustration!

Never had that reaction. Most just wanted to know too.

I had the complete reverse situation..."What do you mean you're not finding out???" or "I guess they couldn't tell on the ultrasound?". Nope, we didn't want to find out with either of our kids. I understand why some people want to find out, but I wanted to look forward to the surprise. To each his own!

It doesn't matter what other people think....this is a personal choice. If you and the baby's daddy want to know if it's a boy or girl, for whatever reason, then do it. And if anyone asks why, just tell them because you both wanted to know. You don't have to give them any reasons other than that!

On the other hand, be sure to NEVER criticize anyone that does NOT want to know before their baby is born. That is their personal choice too.

When I had my first kids there were no routine sonograms at all. It was only with my last 2 that they did them on me and I think the surprise of it all was very exciting. I hear there is a trend to go back to not finding out so maybe that's why you're getting the comments you are. Back when I had my first kids since there was no choice you had showers where you ended up with some things to return, etc. but people were so excited when the sonograms came out and they knew. For me it didn't matter either way really but it was fun to be surprised.

There are so few true surprises in life.... I think that's why most people choose not to find out.

BTW - don't start telling people your baby names unless you want a HUGE amount of feedback/criticism. The won't tell you how much they hate the name once the child is here... but boy will they prior to!!

I couldn't contain myself...I wanted to know asap. The ultrasounds really were confirmation because I already knew what I was having based on dreams I had. Knowing or not knowing really doesn't diminish the joy or surprise of birth. You have time to decide. You'll know if you want to find out. Congrats :)

With my daughter I didn't find out, and got the opposite than you. For all the reasons you want to know, those were the questions I got. Everyone thought I was nuts for not finding out and couldn't figure out how I could plan not knowing. Funny thing is I always want to know what everyone else is having.

As others have said, I was the complete opposite. I did NOT want to know ahead of time, and I definitely got some reactions along the lines of "Whaaaaat? How will you decorate the nursery," etc.

Well, we did my son's whole room in primary colors -- red, yellow, and bright blue, with a lot of animal motifs. It was really wonderful and cheerful. We had names picked out for both.

My son turned to be a really unique, distinctive kid -- he has typical boy interests in terms of science subjects, but no interest, none whatsoever, in sports. I'm glad we kept things open for whoever he turned out to be.

But, that's just me and my ridiculous life. Neither option is wrong, at all. You should go with what makes you happy.

I loved finding out the sex of my baby. It was a surprise - at that ultrasound. Such a happy time. I found maybe 1/3 to 1/2 of my friends did not want to find out the sex of the baby. I like knowing in advance...it really helps me with picking out a name which is so hard. I like knowing if we need girl things or boy things, etc.

No, I don't think your crazy for wanting to know.

I *needed* to know! Picking out a name was always THE hardest part for me and I needed the ALL the time I could get!

Also, we needed all the time to buy all the stuff we needed, lil' by lil' and needed all the time we could get to fix up their rooms, etc. because like you, I am not into all the neutral colors!

We found out the sex with all 3 of ours kids and have never regretted it!

Congrats!

I specifically did not want everyone to know what I was having. I had no interest in getting all blue stuff that I wouldn't want to use again if we had a second of the opposite sex. I am very glad we got nothing that was gender-specific in terms of gear, and little that was gender specific for newborn clothes. It can all be used again if we have another of the opposite sex.
To each their own.

I HAD to know when I was pregnant with our twins... I'm a planner and the wait would have killed me. I got that too - "Don't you want it to be a surprise??" My response was always "It will still be a surprise when we found out at the ultrasound"! And it was definitely a wonderful, emotional surprise when we found out!
Plus I figured there could be any number of other "surprises" the day of their birth, I didnt need one more. (And boy was I right, they were born 3 months preemie and it was a terrifying experience, so I would not have had the chance to enjoy finding out the sex like I did at the ultrasound!)

We still stuck with mostly neutral things because we had one boy & one girl (their room was a log cabin theme with woodland animals)... but not neutral clothes - it was so fun getting little dresses for our girl and little man clothes for our boy. And it was fun picking out their names, knowing exactly what to call them when they were still in there, not just "Baby A" and "Baby B"

A good friend who delivered the same time I did want to wait and I it was kinda fun finding out that way too, i just knew it wasn't for me :) So to each their own!

Have fun at your ultrasound!!! :)

I'm with you all the way. I knew and let everyone else know that it was comfirmed that I was having a boy before I even had him. Glad I knew, because it does make life a lot easier and more fun. I had no problem picking out girls' names, but boys' names came harder for us....Just another reason to know. This way you can pick out a name early and pay more attention to it. We originally half heartedly picked out Gary, because we couldn't think of anything. We had to be careful, since his last name is Chinese. Some American names when combined with a Chinese last name become swear words in Chinese! I liked Victor Alexander, but hubby liked Christopher. He said Victor Alexander was too Russian and I felt Chrisopher would be shortened to Chris. (I felt Chris was too feminine for a Eur/Asian boy.) Had a dream 3 days before my ultrasound and it said I had "a healthy baby boy." Yep, the day I had the ultrasound I could identify every single part on that baby's body. 100% boy! We had to change the name fast. Gary would not match the last name, because of the initials. Found one! I was reading Phantom of the Opera. (The original by Gaston Leroux) Guess what we named our son??? Yep, Erik after the Phantom and Christopher after Christopher Reeve. Perfect. Erik with a "k" is French and so am I. Funny thing is that the first and middle names go together so well even in meaning.....Erik Christopher means "all powerful Christ bearer."

I didn't want to know for the first one. Being a surprise is awesome.
with our second we did want to know ,we already did the surprise thing.
We had names picked out for both genders. Our nursery was classic Pooh , so that's good for either genders.
And even if you DO find out what they think the sex is , there is a chance they get it wrong or they can't tell because of the position of the baby.

This is EXACTLY how I was when I was pregnant with my daughter...she's 1 month old now. I don't like the greens and yellows, I wanted to decorate the room...I also wanted to tell my six year daughter so she could start getting used to calling the baby by it's name. I kept a baby journal this time and all I talked about until my 20 week ultrasound was how EXCITED I was to find out the sex! I mean REALLY excited...I couldnt even sleep the night before the ultrasound lol! I think it's great you want to find out, I'm excited for you!!! People did the same thing to me when I said I wanted to know...I was just like "whatever, I'm excited and I should be!" I think it's crazy NOT to want to know the sex....I realized bonding is much stronger when you know what it is, you call it by it's name and say "she" or "he" I love it....congrats!!!!!

Don't worry about what other people say. If YOU want to know, then find out. Everyone will always have something to say about everything - blow it off.

FYI - I was old I was having a boy, but ended up with a girl so it's never 100%!

That is so not the norm among my friends. Most of us want to know, and it drives us crazy when someone opts to wait to find out.

I had to know both times. The second time, we were in such a hurry that we did one of those 4D ultrasounds at 14 weeks. That was mostly because of my older one, though. He was convinced he was having a sister and was getting actively upset at the thought of us having a boy. (He was right. :) )

I love finding out. I feel like I'm getting to know and bonding with the baby that much earlier.

I had the opposite experience. I didn't want to know ahead of time with my first, and most people tried to convince me to find out, my husband included! We waited with our first. I wanted to wait with the second too, but I let hubby have his way that time around. Third kiddo, we both wanted to know so we could prepare ahead of time in case we needed a whole new wardrobe (first 2 were boys). If anyone makes a comment, simply say "Nope, I don't want to be surprised." No need to explain or justify yourself. Congratulations!

Well as for the name you can pick a name without knowing...you just pick two names and know which it will be depending on gender. There are so many colors that can be used for either sex that you can decorate and have a shower without knowing...white, cream, gray, brown, blue, green, yellow, red and just about any color in the rainbow (except maybe pink). As for the nursery, I would suggest that you don't go overboard w/ a theme regardless of gender...pick a nice base color (white, beige) and accent with other colors so as your baby becomes a toddler, a preschooler, a big kid, etc it's not too "babyish".

When I was expecting w/ my son, he did not cooperate and we didn't know the sex. With my daughter, she didn't either but we were able to tell with later ultrasounds. With both, I had a strong feeling (and was right) but the ultrasound where we thought we would know, we could not tell at all.

A neighbor was told "girl", pink everything at the shower. They didn't even have a bring home from the outfit or a boy name just in case. Image the mad scramble when she had a boy!

Do what makes the most sense to you. It was a big surprise to get the news at the ultrasound and it was just practical to us.

Everyone is going to have an opinion when it comes to kids. If it's not this, it's the name, your feeding choice, your sleep strategy, your disciplining strategy ... Stick to your guns and do what you feel is right. Say, "This is the right choice for us" and leave it at that.