Boston Tragedy. What Can We Do to Help Ourselves?

We can live like there is no tomorrow, then there are no regrets if tragedy happens.

There really is nothing else.
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Well I suppose we could just never leave our house and never let the kids leave the house but is that really living?

Instead of asking "what I can do to help myself"...maybe our world would be a better place if we asked ourself daily "What can I do to help someone else?"

Let's encourage our children to look outside of themselves and try to lift a friend in need.

Last night my husband told our kids, "Ok kids...tonight we are going to pick 3 families we know that could use a visit." They packaged up plates of cookies and took them to an elderly widow and two families whose moms are fighting for their lives because cancer has invaded their bodies.(I attended a meeting at the school...it was divide and conquer night.)

This small act showed our children a father's compassion and humble heart willing to serve God's children...and gave them an opportunity to create those same attributes.

Let's grow compassion,sympathy,empathy,gratefulness,humility and love in our homes...and share it with God's children who fill our neighborhoods,schools and communities.

We need to stop wasting our precious time worrying about the "what ifs" and "whys" in life.
We need to have appreciation and gratitude that we live in the least violent, safest and healthiest time in history.
We need to turn off the news, BECAUSE THERE IS NO NEWS RIGHT NOW.
Say a prayer for all the people affected by this latest tragedy and move on with your life!

I live outside of Boston, right near the start of the marathon, and my son was at the marathon near the explosions at the finish line, so I appreciate your concern.

Honestly - how can we thwart these attacks? Do you have any idea what was done prior to the marathon? Bomb sniffing dogs just shortly before the race start, tons of cops and all that, but still, it's a public street and a major community event. Everyone was carrying a backpack. Tens of thousands of runners, all with their stuff in backpacks which were then left with relatives or with marathon officials. There were buses of just backpacks being transported from the starting line to the finish line. It's a college town and it's public school vacation - everyone has a backpack, and lots of people had several if holding them for a runner.

There is increased security and people are, by and large, being cooperative.

I think, in the wake of Boston, and 9/11 (and remember, that affected Boston second only to NYC and DC since the planes left from here), and in the wake of Newtown and Aurora and other sites, is that we are only on full alert after a tragedy, and we are not paying attention to the loners and the people engaging in erratic or suspicious behavior (note I did not say "suspicious looking") so that they can accumulate materials for destructive uses.

I think we need to take a serious look at the culture of violence we have, and also the suspicion we have of everyone who is "different" from an ethnic or religious perspective. We have an escalation of violent and nasty talk (plenty of it on TV but also plenty of it on Mamapedia!), and a whole lot of lashing out on social media sites, name calling, bullying. We compete with each other instead of embracing each other. Yesterday, there was much heroism, but also a quick rush to post rumors of a Saudi national being responsible and a whole lot of fingerpointing.

And there is a horrendous culture of hatred among our lawmakers, and a lot of very divisive politicians (many of whom are responding to their nasty and hateful supporters) to create horrible divisions around polarizing issues like abortion and gay marriage and immigration, with people pitting their religions against each other and trying to take rights away from others in order to hoard more for themselves.

Yes, we need to report. But I think there's an upswing after a disaster, but there's also an upswing in the purchase of firearms. I don't think that helps. I understand people want to protect themselves, but honestly, I thank God that everyone around the blast site didn't pull out guns and start shooting. Instead, they cared for the wounded, used their own shirts to make tourniquets, pulled down barriers so police and first responders to get to the injured and more.

I think we need to cultivate our humanity. We need to do acts of kindness, not hole up in our homes. Every person should donate time to a charity (not just write a check) and donate blood every 8 weeks. Do a neighborhood clean-up. Recycle. Teach your kids to be compassionate. Find the good.

We cannot stay away from public places. I know the Marathon will not ever be the same. I know the Boston July 4th celebration and the Red Sox games will change. But I also know that we continue with the Olympic Games even after so many Israeli athletes were murdered at the Munich games. We still travel on planes and go to NYC after 9/11. We still go to the movies after the movie theater massacre.

We need to demand more of our politicians and insist on more from ourselves so that we are not so busy thinking only of ourselves. We can create a better world.

I agree with the other posts who say continue with your life. If it's your time, there isn't much you can do.

I will say though that I believe we, as a society, have become so focused on ourselves that we ignore the people around us. I agree with you that we need to become more aware. Not in a fearful way but with compassion and curiosity. Something doesn't look right with the way that person is behaving? Maybe I should stay her a few minutes longer and watch.

I'll climb down from my soapbox now.

Flaming Turnip is my new favorite poster. What she said.

And I'll add, go for a run.

When 9-11-2001 happened, there was even more concern. My husband and I had tickets to see cellist Yo-Yo Ma in concert that night. We thought that the concert, like most everything else, would be cancelled. But the box office said Mr. Ma had contacted them, saying he would perform the concert if he could get a plane somehow (most flights all over the country had been canceled). And the show went on. He was not going to be intimidated by terrorists. Neither were we. The audience was smaller than it might have been, but fear was not going to rule us.

Common sense is good. But be ruled by common sense, NOT by fear. When you talk to your children about bullying, you tell them not to give in to such intimidation, right? The same thing applies to adults. We just can't control some things that happen. We can control our responses to those things.

Like Mamazita said, I don't dwell on the negative. I don't ask why and what if and what else. I say a prayer for the victims, and I resolve to live my life to the fullest and not take anything for granted. I won't live in fear and I won't teach my daughter to live in fear either. I'm not going to miss out on a trip to Disney World or any other awesome experience because I am paranoid by "what if". That is what the terrorists, or whomever is responsible, want you to do - I won't have it.

Bad things have always happened. There has always been an enemy, whether it was Nazi Germany, Japan, the Soviet Union, or Al Queda. The Nazis systematically slaughtered 6 million Jews and murdered thousands of others (Catholics, homosexuals, Gypsies, the mentally ill, etc.) that they felt had no place in their society. In the 50's and 60's, people lived in fear of a nuclear attack from the Soviets. We are just more aware of them now, thanks to the media and 24 hour instant news coverage.

I don't think I will got somewhere and get bombed. If I do get bombed, what on earth can I do to sop it? I can live. I can make sure my family is happy and healthy and really lives. I'm not going to live my life worrying about walking into the next bombing. I just can't. I can pray and I can really live. I won't do anything else.

Yes, we need to be aware and report suspicious behavior. But, we need to also realize that we can't escape from evil. It is everywhere in the world. So are crazy people who don't think normally. It just is a fact of life.

Yes, be vigilant, but don't be paranoid and scared to live your life. When it's my time, it's my time.
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Kristen, I had intended to go for a run yesterday. (but husband called and asked if I was making something for his crew brief today---so I had to go to the store and then bake instead). I am hoping to run here in a bit. I love running---it doesn't always love me, though.

I would just like to somehow thank all the people who work in law enforcement and who have stopped so many other bombing plots or attempts. Those go unnoticed and while I'm not tryign to minimize yesterday at all, I have been crying half the morning, I also thank God there are so many people dedicated to trying to keep us all safe. It's amazing the other plots they have uncovered over the years. So many people working together behind the scenes... And apparently average people and businesses are much more involved than in the past - reporting any strange purchases of bomb ingredients etc. I do hope there's more we can do of course. Every life lost is tragic and of course I think we all are particularly affected by Martin Richard and his family. But to more directly answer your question, all I can think of is to somehow express gratitude to those who protect us the other 364 days of the year so more young people are encouraged to enter the field.

In the meantime, be aware, keep our eyes and ears open; live our lives in a healthy and proactive way; help each other, and teach our kids values....real values for the real world with kindness and respect.
I agree with AL from las Vegas, I loved your answer.

I'm sure every one of us will have a personal reaction and response based upon our own personalities and experiences in life. It really can't be otherwise.

And still, we can all look around and learn, and as deplorable as this event is, we can notice that there are countries all around the world where violence against innocents is commonplace, where anger and retribution rule, where peace is a distant hope for desperate people barely hanging on from one day to the next. Even our own government, as enlightened as it is, and our armed forces, as brave as they are, sometimes contribute to those desperate stories. We have killed innocents, too. We have engendered outrage and violent reactions from others. We are not without blame.

I'm not one who looks for a bad guy in every corner. I could not live that way. I think it would shrivel my soul into a hard, fearful knot, from which only anger could be strong enough to emerge. I cannot live on anger. I could not have had a child myself if that's where my thinking was anchored.

So I look for ways to transform, to reframe, to understand. Why would someone hate enough to hurt innocent strangers? There's a tragic story there. What can we do about tragedy? Plenty. Find the seeds of it in our own attitudes, and weed them out. There are movements and organizations that practice reconciliation, that need our voices, our energy, and our dollars.

Micky:

What can **WE** do? Stop giving any terrorist of ANY kind attention and notoriety. DO NOT live in fear. Fear is what terrorists feed off of.

Be aware.
Be prepared.

You need to model the behavior you want from your kids. They are our future. They are you responsibility to raise - give morals, values, guidance to. This is not "do as I say - not as I do" - kids can be our mirrors many times.

Ensure that the television stations you watch and listen to don't give the bombers - or ANY criminal - their 15 minutes of fame. Focus on the victims. Do not give the criminal ANY credence. No name. No location. NOTHING. They get no attention for their cause, mental illness, or whatever their issue is. They get their pictures on national or international TVs - they get vindicated and in their mental world, get the attention they so desire.

DO NOT live in fear. DO NOT stop DOING or LIVING just because some body is sick....unless you know someone who is mentally unstable and has made threats of causing harm - you need to NOT live in fear. Don't give the sickos attention....

So...again...
DO NOT live in fear.
DO NOT give them attention should they succeed in their endeavors.
Be aware.
Be prepared.

Good luck!

Well, for starters we can stop complaining about security measures that are taken at places such as airports. All to often I hear on the news about someone offended because they were searched at airport security.

Life is a crapshoot. Cannot live in fear. I would worry more about an AlQuaida attack because they do not fool around with small explosives.
I keep saying it was tax day and someone was ticked at the IRS. This was retaliation. Granby, Colorado. Man had a beef with zoning board. Took out half the town with a steel,plated bulldozer and an AK47. That God no one was killed but it just goes to show you how crazy people are. If you live I fear, you give in to the crazies. Not a good way to live. As we have all seen on 9/11 in an instant the world we live in can change, but we still can move on. Remember everyday is a gift, that's why it is called the present.
Live every day like it was your last.

Where I live, someone decided it would be a fantastic idea to shoot people from a hole in the back of a car while they did things like walk on the street, go grocery shopping and get home improvement supplies. How the heck do you prevent that? You can't. There's a certain amount of risk in getting in your car, crossing the street, going to an event, riding public transit. I do not think that the solution is to lock ourselves inside. Take reasonable precautions but if we just become shut ins, then who has really won? We've been talking about "report suspicious activity" for years. If people aren't actually doing it, then they should. But further, terrorists want us to be afraid. They want us to cower. Don't cower. Raise good kids. Do good. Find good. Seek out the good around us vs focus on the bad.

(My issue with airport security, to tangent, is that I feel it's more theater than substance. Thanks, TSA, I feel so much safer knowing you held us up for diaper cream and made my child cry. Superfantastic job there. But that's a whole different rant.)