Biter on My Hands

crazy as it sounds when my husband bit my daughter back then she never bit another person. Just hard enough to get her attention. I tryed giving the attention to the victom and it only got her attention for a minute. It was funny she was like what? Then she'd behave but when her daddy bit her which I thought him and his mom was crazy for even sugesting it.

about a year ago my then 2 year old used to love to bite. He would bite when he was excited and when he was upset. He would bite whoever was in his reach which was mainly my poor 5 year old at the time. i couldn't get him to stop until one day he bit daddy so hard that daddy reacted and bit him back. He was in shock (my son). He kept on with his biting but he never bit daddy again. so one day, i guess my older son got tired of it as well and when my little one bit him on his back, my older son turned around and bit him back. i checked them and their were no marks. but whatever it was, my little biter stopped biting little by little. so it might sound cruel to say to bite him back, but maybe he will understand how it feels if someone does it back to him..

My child luckily only bit someone twice. One was her sister, but she hasn't done it since. I was told at the daycare that if they bite they make the biter tend to the person that was bit. The biter has to put an ice pack on the bite and kiss it and love on them. I don't know how well that would work with 17 month olds though.

There is always the option of biting them back. Apparently one of my siblings was a biter and when she was bit back she quit.

Side note I also live in the golden triangle.

My son, who is 9 now, was a biter. One night, after he had bitten me, and I felt I had exhausted all other avenues, I gently bit him back. ( I say gently because he was much smaller, my teeth are more developed etc.) The bite was enough to get his attention, but not hurt him or break skin or anything. I made sure my face was somewhat menacing so that he knew I was not playing or teasing. He quit biting. It seemed my solution was truly an example of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you...", which is a motto we live by in our home to this day. No, my method was not conventional, and I can picture the looks of horror from some people reading this, but it is what I did, and it worked.

I completely agree with the others. Biting and head butting are signs of defiant behavior and it needs to be controlled now.

He also needs to learn that hurting others to get what he wants is not the right way to do that.

If he bites his brother and takes something from him remove the toy and give it back to his brother immediately and put him in time out.

Consistency is the most important part of this process. You have to do it EVERY single time. The suggestion to put him in a confined area like a playpen if you are distracted is a good one, because if he gets away with it when you aren't looking you can't be consistent with immediate correction and he will learn to be sneaky.

when my son had this problem, we had the biten child bite the biter in the exact spot they bit and after a few bites back he finally stopped. i've seen this method work on several children. dr. phil does not recommend this, but it's a proven method as far as i've seen.

you always have to be present for this just to make sure things don't get out of hand.

good luck.

M.

I just came across this article and remembered your question. Maybe this will have some useful info for you to use.
http://babyzone.com/loadpage/article.asp?contentid=1658

Biting is normal for children between the ages of 1-3 years old. If your biter son falls into that age group you should feel more okay about him being normal. First, make sure to firmly say no biting each and everytime he bites and consol the other child (the one bitten) imediately so you can create feelings of sorry and guilt from the biter. You should never give the biter anymore attention exept for the no biting statement. Some children bite to get a responce and if he is getting attention for biting you are creating a cycle. Give all the attention to the victim. You should begin to "shadow" the biter at all times if your other child is fearful or if his safety is a concern. By shadowing I mean do not take your eyes off the biter. When doing dipaer changes for one put the biter in a confined space (crib, highchair, walker) any time you are tied up doing an activity that takes your attention off the biter make sure he can not bit by being in a confined area. Also seek help from a pediatrician if you feel things are getting out of your control. It is our responsibilty to protect all of our children.

D.,

Although this is common among one year olds, they are old enough to learn it is not okay. This is a behavior that can't be ignored. At this age, you can start to put your son in time out for a minute or until he calms down, which ever takes longer.

He probably won't stay in place and if you hold him there he will probably like the attention, so find a cheap booster seat or stroller specifically for time out and strap him in. Don't stick around to calm him down. Leave him alone. It will take time because he is still little, but he will get the message within a couple of weeks, a month at most. Be consistent.

Best of luck,
S.

PS - I am also expecting baby #4 in May, also a girl. (We also had a girl, then two boys first.) Congrats to you!

My son also did the same things (biting and head butting). To stop the biting, we would bite him back. It wasn't hard, but it was hard enough that he knew we bit him, and that it did hurt. For the head butting, when he would go to slam his head forward, we would drop our heads, so he would hit the top of our heads. It's a much better place to take a blow, it doesn't hurt you, and because it's a harder place on your body, it will hurt your son much more. It only took 2-3 times of him head butting the top of our heads, and he stopped.

My daughter was a biter. My mother always said to bite her back. I could not bring myself to do it until one day she bit me VERY hard. So, I took her arm and bit her on the fleshy part of her forearm, just hard enough to leave teeth marks. Then I told her "see how bad it hurts?" as her eyes welled up with tears and the look of shock set in on her little face. She never bit again! Now she is 14. I would do it again in a heart beat!