Birthdays During the Week ...

It might be the time change (Daylight Savings). A lot of people have been complaining about being tired from it. Also, some parents have said they can't get their kids to go to bed.

We also celebrated a birthday last night. Same as you - family dinner, cake and presents. GD had to go to Karate and test for her brown belt - which she got! Just another milestone to celebrate! I brought cookies to the dojo. she was a bit amped up, but she took a long, hot bath and calmed right down.

On the actual birthday we go out for dinner (just our family) and then for a quick go-cart ride and ice cream and give only one gift. We have the party, cakes, gifts etc on the weekend. Your older child should understand that it is someone else's birthday and the birthday child is the focus of the festivities.

Don't you think it is a good thing for your kids to learn the world doesn't always revolve around them? Oh my god, your other child was not the center of attention on their sibling's birthday! I assume they are aware they will be the center of attention on their own birthday, yes?

We always had the birthdays on the weekends, not because I cared if my kids had some irrational sense of total self importance but because that was when all their family and friends could make it to parties.

On their actual birthday they got to pick out their birthday dinner.

We always do just our family birthday on the day. Sometimes we invite the grandparents, but we don't have more than that for family living nearby so it's not a big affair. They do a friend party on another day.

I never had that problem with my kids - being left out. They knew it was their sibling's day.

We make their favorite meal, I make a cake and we do presents from us.

We have their birthday like any other birthday. We don't make a big fuss but we do have cake or something they want. One kiddo hates cake and loves brownies. We have brownies for dessert.

We give them their presents from their family. It's their birthday. It's just horrible to me that they don't get that day celebrated. Family is everything they need. They don't NEED big parties with a bunch of friends there. They need their family to acknowledge them and show that caring for them as an individual.

We have all of this around dinner time. Then we don't normally go to bed until 9 or so. They get to play with their birthday presents and have some fun with everyone.

IF we're doing a big party on the weekend we don't necessarily invite the whole family over for our home stuff. We really don't have both. Either we have a big family party or we have a school friends party. Grandma and grandpa really don't want to compete for their grandchild's attention in the midst of bowling or skating or laser tag or rides or miniature golf. They should get to come to the family evening activities and spend an hour or so.

I am NOT one to spend a fortune on a birthday party. I think giving kids a goody bag is silly. A waste of money since most moms are going to make their kiddo toss the bag in the trash before they leave to go home. No one wants that junk.

They also don't want their kids to think they get a present every time they turn around, even on someone else's birthday. Just for showing up, they get a present...nope.

I think celebrating as a family on the 'day of' is important. I mean, what child wants to wait for the weekend to open their presents and have cake? Of course the older one will feel a little slighted -- but it's a birthday, for goodness sake! They get to have their own too. :) And they need to learn-- the earlier the better-- that life isn't all about them, it's not even steven, and you get to be gracious for someone else and they will, in turn, be gracious when it's your turn.

It would be worse to try and sanitize it so that there's no excitement before bed, no hurt feelings (about 'it's not my birthday, wah') etc. Birthdays are a part of life. Sure, a party with friends would be appropriate for a weekend time, but family? Don't make a production out of it by trying to overly control the day. Just let it happen. It's only one or two days during the year, right? ;)

There's absolutely nothing wrong with holding a birthday celebration when it's a little more convenient, unless the child is mentally or emotionally incapable of comprehending that today is their birthday but there won't be a party (or cake or whatever) until Saturday.

I think that being flexible prepares the kids for the inevitable road blocks and speed bumps in life. If you strictly adhere, 100% of the time, to celebrating on THE EXACT DAY, they may not learn the value of being sensitive to celebrating at the right time and place (like postponing a party if a family member is ill, or their friend's family is having a serious crisis), or the value of being patient, or the value of learning that sometimes, it's not all about them, and circumstances just might mean that the party will be held another day.

I had a friend who was a fanatic about birthdays, and her kids suffered. Not only would she honor the birthday child on the exact day, but she would note the minute of their birth, and she would also give her other child an equal number of gifts, and a cake as well, even though it wasn't the other child's birthday. But she wanted everything precise and everything exact and everything equal. The kids learned to be inflexible and demanding.

For weeknight birthdays, I make sure that we have cake (or whatever dessert the birthday child wants) and at least sing and blow out candles. It's usually just immediate family, then we normally end up celebrating all of the birthdays in a given month with extended family on a weekend, doubling up with a holiday if there is one (e.g. my son and my brother in January and we'll watch a playoff football game, two of my sons in March with either Easter, Passover or St. Patrick's Day, my dad and me in May with Mother's Day or Memorial Day, etc.). We usually do a small gift on that day but they often want a bigger gift that takes some extra time or isn't in season and we do that when the timing works. The younger boys still have a friend party and those often get scheduled a few months late because of how busy hockey season is.

Bottom line is that we make sure to have a small celebration on that day - usually with a special breakfast or dinner of the birthday child's choosing plus cake/dessert and the rest comes when the timing makes sense.

We've always just done it on the nearest weekend.
During the week is just too hectic.

We do cupcakes and sing after dinner on the actual birthday - just immediate family. Presents wait until the kid party, which happens either the weekend before or after.

I'm not sure how old your older is, but he's older than 7, which means he should understand that on his birthday, he gets the attention, and on his brother's birthday, his brother gets the attention. Not sure why that's even worth bringing up.

Hmm, just had a smallish at home party,with friends, when it was convenient. Usually on a Saturday from 2 to 4. Never really had a family party, as the family was so big we'd be partying several times a month if we celebrated EVERY birthday.
Why would the oldest feel left out? Our kids never expected their siblings' birthdays to be about them. They had their own parties after all.

I think the birthdays occur when they occur, and you acknowledge them. We always did a card in the morning and then a family dinner with cake or cupcakes and gifts. We never did a huge pile of gifts so it was manageable - I don't believe in 20 gifts or anything like that (which is why we never held big parties with 20 friends).

I think it's fine to have the friends party or the gathering with extended family on the weekend before or after - we just call it a "birthday week" like we're extending the celebration, rather than emphasizing that it wasn't convenient on the actual day. Each day of celebrating was equally important to us.

Sometimes kids are extra crabby if they've had a school birthday party earlier in the day. Did that happen in your case? I know a lot of classrooms don't do that anymore because so many kids are allergic to everything. Otherwise, maybe it's just a long day.

I'm a little concerned that your older child can't handle a 7 year old's birthday because it's not about him. That's more common in younger kids not handling and older sibling's day, or a parent's birthday - but even then, it should be nipped in the bud. Hopefully this is a short-lived phase you can talk him out of, but I agree with Nervy Girl that kids need to learn to be gracious, to enjoy someone else's happiness or special day, and not always "get stuff" themselves. This is made worse by the trend to give extremely generous goody bags at kids' parties or even swag bags and massive favors at weddings and showers. Good God, whatever happened to being happy for the guest of honor and not expecting something in return. I realize your older child's experience with friends' birthdays may have involved a big party at a venue with tons of entertainment, plus a lot of take-home goodies, so maybe the home birthday party seemed odd by comparison. So this might be a good time to evaluate your position on these issues and implement some sort of changes in his other experiences (limiting them, talking about them before and after, etc.) to impose your own values on top of what he experiences elsewhere.

It's hard to do much during the week with school and everything. I noticed someone mentioned the time change. Could it be that the time change plus excitement was just too much?

If your older child was acting up, maybe he/she was just really tired? In know my boys are still adjusting.

My kids both have summer birthdays and I don't work in the summer, so it isn't as big an issue with us. If a birthday falls during the week we might have a special pancake breakfast. Depending on what my husband's work schedule is, we either do gifts and go out for lunch and have cake before he goes to work. Or we do presents, go out for dinner, and have cake after he gets off work. We keep it just the four of us and very low key. Parties with friends and celebrating with family that are in town usually happens on Saturday afternoon.

I usually have some sort of party for my kids, so that means the weekend. I think it also depends on how close their birthday is to the weekend.

This year we had a big party for my 2 year old on Saturday, the day before his birthday, so nothing happened on the actual day of, sunday. We were tapped out. Plus he is 2 and doesn't know what day is what anyway.

My 6 year old just celebrated her birthday this month, it was on a Friday. She had a party with cake etc on Saturday so we didn't do anything on the day of, though her babysitter took her to lunch after picking her up from school and got her a present. We had a softball even that night for her, otherwise we might have gone out to eat at her choice of restaurant.

I've also done a mid-week pizza/cake with a few local cousins, plus party a few days later on the weekend. It can be bit much though.

I agree with the mom who said Daylight Savings probably affected them more than the cake and presents!

My daughter makes sprinkle pancakes for the birthday child for breakfast. She puts a candle in the pancakes so the birthday boy or girl can blow it out. Simple but it makes the child feel special on their day. Then has a party for the kids and some friends over the weekend.

The birthday boy/girl always wakes up to breakfast in bed and gets to open their presents. They are reminded the night before to stay in bed when they wake up. The rest of the family gets up early and helps make the special breakfast. Also, the birthday person gets to pick what we have for dinner that night. We also have a small party with some family and friends on a weekend around that time where there is a birthday cake and some games.

We always celebrate on a weekend day, never during the week.

I've had 2 parties on a Thursday for my daughter. One at a bounce house and one at Chuckee Cheese. Those worked well since we weren't at home. The rest have been on the weekend. I will acknowledge her birthday when it falls during the week but we celebrate on the weekend. She's ok with that since she knows here friends and family will be there to celebrate with her.