Birthday Party Goodie Bags

I enjoy giving goodie bags out at my child's parties. Since my child was born (he is now 8) I have always written "NO GIFTS" on the invitations I send out but still have given out goodie bags to everyone. He enjoys the party and being with his friends with no expectation of "what he is getting". I let him pick out the items he wants to give in the goodie bags. If he does receive gifts even after "NO GIFTS" is stated we open them at home in private.

If you feel that strongly about it just don't give out favors and don't worry about who you will offend. I personally think party favors are a nice touch and enjoy giving them but I really don't think it should be a big deal if you decide not to.

This is something I did in replace of the goodie bag that was a real hit. At my daughters 5th birthday she wanted a slumber party. My husband and I decided she was really to young and made it a Pajama Party. I found a foam Photo album craft that was slumber party themed for the girls to do. I took pictures during the party, let the girls decorate there Photo Albums then I printed the pictures and send one home with each girl. This was last Nov. When I go to my Daughter's school the girls still talk about there photo albums.
I found the photo album kits in a package of 6 kits on sale for $5.00 it was a lucky find I have to admit. Think outside the box. Good Luck with the Party have fun!!

I don't give out goodie bags at birthday parties. Don't sweat it. If someone mentions it, just say it's not one of your birthday traditions. My mom never gave goodie bags so it never occurred to me to do it either.

M.
www.enidmg.com

I say don't give one! It does add up to a lot of money. I have 4 children and it seems like birthdays are constantly being planned! I have always given goodie bags myself- but we're having a lot of stuff at my soon-to-be 4 year olds party that we've decided not to make one. The candy from the pinata, cake and punch is going to be plenty!

For several of my daughter's parties, I have done a book exchange in lieu of birthday gifts. Everyone brings a book, and then, picks a new book to take home. A lot of parents have really liked this idea. I also give out the same book to each family as a birthday party favor, but this wouldn't be necessary. Scholastic book clubs have a book for 95 cents each month so when I see one I really like, I buy enough for birthday party favors. They can also be used as birthday, baby shower, or thank you cards if you write in the inside cover.

I understand everything you are saying and it really makes sense. Its your childs day! Plus its not like we dont spend a fortune on planning and preparing for it....adding more $ for other kids gifts starts getting a little crazy. However, I do give out goodie bags and I think I have just always looked at it as a "thank-You" for coming and also for buying my child something. With all that said I really feel as if its a personal choice. There is no rule saying you have to provide them. Hope this helps!

I teach 7th grade, and I'm consistently looking for ways to teach my students (and my own two children) how to think about others, their feelings, and their needs. We all do numerous service projects throughout the year. At my daughter's birthday (she LOVES animals), she decided that she didn't want "real" presents - she wanted to help animals. We planned her party with a dog and cat theme. Guests brought bags of dog or cat food, dog toys, cat collars, etc. as "gifts" for the birthday girl, which we donated to the animal shelter. For favors, we bought inexpensive (94 cents each) plastic bowls, and I made "puppy chow" (Chex mix w/ chocolate, peanut butter, and powdered sugar) to put in the bowls, then wrapped them up with plastic wrap and curling ribbon. Everybody loved the party. My daughter got what she wanted - a fun gathering with all her friends, and she got to feel good about doing something for her favorite furry things without having to clean her room when a bunch of clutter showed up after the party. My younger child (a son) wanted a "traditional" party where he got gifts, so that's what we did. Favors for his party were a coupon from TCBY for a free waffle cone. The kids loved it. The next year, we made a play-doh mix and put it in a baggie along with instructions on what wet ingredients to add to make play-doh. The baggies were tied at the top and had a cookie cutter laced in with the ribbon. That way, kids got to be in the kitchen with their parents for some "bonding time" and also had some fun playing with the end result. I wholeheartedly agree that the goodie bag thing has gotten out of hand to the point where it's expensive and pointless. We offset this trend with some creative but inexpensive favors and avoid the goofy little plastic throw-away toys that most people put into goodie bags.

The funny thing to me is this... I had no idea about goodie bags until my son's 2nd birthday party when my MOM insisted that I give them out!
I can totally see the logic in what you are saying, but I am too lazy to teach anybody anything at my son or daughter's birthday party. I buy a toy that costs less than $5 for each kid including the birthday kiddo, which is about what I would spend on the junk that goes into a goodie bag, and when we play put the sticker in Strawberry Shortcake's crown, or whatever game we play, every body gets their own prize. Also takes the stress of other children trying to "help" open the presents away because they are busy with their prize.
I am completely not offended when we go to a party and do not receive goodie bags, and honestly I don't think my kids notice.

This is a tricky subject. I always received goody bags when I went to birthday parties growing up. We do them for my son's birthdays. He gets to help pick out the things that go in them and it's a nice way for him to thank people for coming to celebrate his birthday with him. We don't do separate ones for boys and girls, everyone gets the same things. Hope this opinion helps.

You are so right and thank you for speaking out!!! We do not give goodie bags and frankly I hate it when my kids receive them because they sre filled with candy and small cheap toys that break quickly causing tears and heartache. Rebel with me and let's end treat-bags forever!!!

Oh, gee, the expensive birthday party issue again!

We have become a nation of consumers. It is only benefitting corporations, NOT our society as a whole. Even though it's difficult NOT to behave so that we won't "offend" other parents, THEY are not the ones having a birthday but our own dear child. And any kid whose parents stand up for their own beliefs and rights, is more likely to do the same when they grow up.

Creativity is a wonderful thing. I love the response about the photo albums, and this means far more to kids than yet more plastic that will end up cluttering the house and eventually the landfill. This idea can be applied to many situations and themes. Know anyone with a pony? Photos of "dress-up" is also a good idea. If it's warm enough, take pictures of kids in swimsuits playing in sprinklers.

It doesn't have to be anything more than a Polaroid of each kid (with the birthday boy?) to take home. But if you feel strongly against goodie bags, by all means don't fall for that!

I totally agree. When I have my son's party this year, I have already decided to only have party favors...the blowers, hats, and balloons. I know when my child brings home those junky party favors...we put them in the trash. The party SHOULD be all about the birthday child and not everyone else. With plenty of activities and maybe a balloon or two to take home (all ages seem to love these :)), they should be satisified and the parents need to get over it....if they have a problem with it.

For my daughter's 5th birthday I didn't do the gift bags because I feel the same way as you do about them. I did, however, have the girls each decorate a tiara as a fun project during the party and realized that this was still something the kids got to take home with them without it being like a gift because they made it themselves. You might try something like this, but I do totally agree with you that the gift bags have gotten out of hand, and they're usually full of stuff that either rots their teeth or clutters up our house just a bit more than it already is! I can't imagine the other parents thinking less of you for not sending home a goody bag of junk. Sadly I think the gift bags are more about the parents trying to keep up with the Joneses and look like the perfect hosts/hostesses!

K.,
I understand where you are coming from. When I was a child we were taught the same thing, It was a privelge to be invitied to a party. I do believe that it is up to the birthday hostess, as to if they want to give goodie bags or not. I do not think that there would be any hard feelings if there wasn't any goodie bags. I love to give that's my reason for doing it. When I had one child I could do that, because to me that showed him that it was also a good thing to give and not just recieve all the time.My son being an only child and not having any other siblings he wasn't grasping the concept about sharing he had plenty, and he was getting use to the getting but not the giving. He enjoyed passing out the goodie bags.

Hi, I don't give gift bags. not because i cant afford it but because i focuse on my daughters birthday and what she wants. when its someone elses birthday we focuse on them.

It's very reassuring to know that I'm not the only parent out there who doesn't believe in "Goodie Bags" for the guests at a birthday party. Like you, I was raised to GIVE at a party, not RECEIVE. On April 5 I had my son's 5th birthday party and did not do goodie bags. It was mostly family & neighbors, so we just grilled burgers & hot dogs. Everyone seemed happy with that. To me, it's just too expensive to buy the cake, ice cream, decorations, presents, etc., PLUS goodie bags. Sure, you can go to the dollar store & buy things for them, but that adds up quickly. With the cost of gas today, we are living paycheck to paycheck & I just honestly could not justify the cost of doing a goodie bag. And this was after I planned well in advance and had bought the presents a month or so early, got the hamburger meat at a great sale the week before - and this is something I am normally not able to do. I want to teach my son that you plan for things and when you go to celebrate someone else's birthday, that's THEIR day, it's THEIR time to shine. I want him to learn the values & morals that I was raised on. It's just nice to hear that someone else out there has the same feelings.

Why not make the goody bag part of the experience of the party; like having the kids decorate bags with stickers markers and crayons and letting the kids decorate cookies or something and take them home in the fun bags.

Hi K.,

Yea! Finally someone who spoke up about it! I agree...it's a special day for the birthday child...not the guests. My son is now 15 and beyond the birthday goodie bag expectations. But, when he was younger I'd even have kids ask for them and be disappointed when there weren't any! Stand your ground...don't give out the goodies bags. By the time your son turns 5 he, and his friends, should be old enough to know that the birthday child is the one getting the gifts.

W. Q

i completely agree! the gift bags at the last birthday party my son attended must have had at least fifteen dollars worth of trinkets in them (no i'm not exaggerating, and i do mean each). i used candy as "parting gifts" last year and it still wasn't cheap. in addition to paying for the party itself, plus presents for your own child, you almost have to save up all year just for this occasion. it just seems as though providing entertainment, filling them up on cake, ice cream, hot dogs, etc, ought to be enough, without "gifting" to the little rugrats as well! it's like "if you bring a gift, i'll give you one in return." i'd like to strangle the mother with too much time on her hands that started this tradition!

My husband and I have had this same conversation! We are the parents who set the bar. We refuse to do the whole goody bag. Our son is turning two this year and we will actually have a family birthday party. I don't remember getting anything when going to a birthday party. I think it is a ridiculous added expense that parents go thru. It about celebrating the child's birth and the growth they have made. I think your headed in the same direction we are-fed up with the Jones'.

Growing up my mom had goodie bags or we did art projects or some activity thing until I was about ten or so. After that we were preteens and much more interested in our social lives and getting to have sleep overs. My daughter is about to have her second birthday and we are going to have her little friends over. I'm actually going to ask the parents to not send gifts and I'm going to make little goodie bags for all the kids. At this age they wouldn't really understand what's going on. The main point of the party is so that they can all get together and have fun. If your concerned about giving a goodie bag I would suggest doing arts and crafts activities, especially while the kids are young, that way everyone has a great time and a memory to bring home.

I agree with your thoughts on goody bags. From past experience most kids don't even thank you for the effort and even try to take more than one.At my son's last party I kept them hidden till the guest started to leave and gave them out as people where going out. but I always struggle with the decision on whether to have them or not and i'm glad someone else feels the same.

I'm with ya all the way. B-day parties have gotten way out of hand. We've cut way back and now just do something special with my child like dinner and a movie, or adventureland. Keep it simple! We have gotten way out of hand!

I'm assuming goodie bags means party favors...I don't think it's a big deal to not give them out, you are the one hosting the party and you are right, it is the birthday child's special day...however, in reading the other responses, I am rather shocked that so many people think party favors are such a horrible thing! Most parties of any kind, including big ones like weddings, have favors. It's certainly not bad to omit favors from the party, but it is also not bad to have them! It's totally up to the person throwing the party. But I think they should definately NOT be elaborate. They should be just a little something to say thanks for coming. Like one person said, little bags of M&Ms or something. That's what my mom gave out at my parties when I was a kid. Bags of candy or a balloon. I loved balloons when I was little, it was always fun to take one home from a party. Some families of party guests may not be able to afford much of a birthday gift, just something little or inexpensive, so you certainly don't want the freebie favors to be nicer than a birthday gift, think how bad that kid would feel. So don't feel bad by not giving favors, no big deal, but I still don't understand why so many people think they are bad. Just keep them simple!

i dont think they are a must have by any means. we have been to parties for other kids where they handed nothing out. my child enjoyed those parties just as much as the ones where she got a goodie bag. i hand them out at our parties just because i enjoy it, but your right it can get expensive. just do what you feel is right, i dont think any kids will be disapointed. the fun of the party is playing with the other kids.

I have always worked the "goodie bag" gift into the party theme. At a Dora party, I decorated each kid a purple backpack they used for our adventure hike. At a hula party each kid kept their grass shirt and flowers. At a princess party, they went home with the magic wand they decorated and a necklace. At a swim party they kept the beach balls they played with in the pool. At a veterinarian party they kept the stuffed animal that they "doctored" during the party. At a Bob the Builder party they kept the bird feeder that they built. My daughter with a december birthday had a party where each child decorated a gingerbread house and the kids took home their gingerbread house. Even at my 2 year old's party, the kids danced, played with big rubber balls, and i blew bubbles - so they each went home with a ball and bubbles.

You don't have to buy junk. I promise the couple bucks I spend on the item or activity for the party is way cheaper than renting any party place in town. The items give the kids wonderful memories of the parties.

Hi, Kelly1 Now my personal view is a little different but I am one of those pesky glass half full people!
I have two children, one is about to be four and the youngest is almost one. Their birthdays are only a day apart so we are having a joint birthday party for them. My husband's and mine are also a day apart and we have had joint parties for eight years now. The way we are teaching our children is that their friends are being very kind to come and bring them presents, too. So we give them a thank you for coming and being nice enough to bring a present. Therefore we give the goody bags. This year is even more so, since guests will have to bring two presents or one joint present. I set a limit on how much each bag can cost and I try to make as much of it as I can. I think we are teaching our children a valuable lesson to say thank you, and not jut expect presents all for them. Hope this helps!

K.,

I laughed when I read your letter! I remember the first time my 9 year old went to a party and they gave out goodie bags. I was mystified! My older son, who had only been invited to a few parites, did not receive them. My younger son was in a more affluent school and was invited to parties all the time and my other son, just a regular public school. At the time I thought it had to do with the type of parents (upper class) that were throwing the parties. Anyway, my point...I totally agree with you and challenge you to stop this stupid and stressful practice. When it comes to all the parties I have given, the biggest stressor is what to put in the goodie bag. And you are right- it is so expensive. I cut down the costs a bit by using paper bags that I had decorated with markers and buying stuff at the dollar store. But still, I don't think I will do it anymore. I think all parents would like to see it stopped. Don't we moms?
Good luck....

There are a couple of websites that talk the craziness that birthdays have escalated to, which i read when I was planning my girls birthdays. I think kids do expect something at the end of a party, right or wrong, and I decided that I would give something at the end, but just not the junk that was usual. I got a bunch of books from amazon that were $2-$3 each with free shipping and let the kids pick what they wanted. I usually give books as gifts anyway. I also had a durable cup with candy in it. It cost less than $5 per kid, and goody bags easily run more than that. Everyone acted excited and I didn't hear any complaints. My girls liked assembling the candy cups and helping their friends pick out books. I think they just like something to look forward to, and it is a signal that the party is over. There are some websites that offer other alternatives.

I think babysteps in this are the way to go. I thought of it as modeling good ideas for other parents; i think lots of parents are very receptive to the minimizing of goody bags. I have recently been to parties where parents just gave a craft item and a bit of candy, or some cookie mix and sprinkles. These are all positive gifts that can make for good family time.

An aside from that is at my girls party we also don't open gifts. We like to take our time opening and write thank you notes one at a time.

Good luck!

A.

I own a birthday party company (www.partyanimalsco.com) so maybe I am biased. But, I have taught my daughter that party "give aways"are a Thank You to our guests. We do not do goody bags at our parties. We usually do a craft..like stuffing animals, picture frame decorating, etc. One year we took a picture of my daughter and put in on a candybar as a wrapper (yes, I know you can order these...I am cheap) We always make sure that the "favor" says Thank you somewhere on it.

Maybe you could pre make cards and hand these out. To me that is the point. To teach the birthday child to appreciate the kindness of the people coming to their special party. Plus, I do not know ONE mom that like the junk in goody bags! LOL

It's a form of courtesy and good manners, as is writing thank you notes. BTW you can go to a Dollar Shop and fill up goodies bags very cheaply. I toss in little chocolates, gum, balloon, a craft maybe, etc. I've always enjoyed receiving as well as giving them. I get festive party bags and ties if I feel creative.

I didn't know about it either until I went to a few. I liked the idea. Nothing wrong with it.

I'm a big kid myself so I usually go through the bag before my child even does. Same with Halloween. Your choice Mom.

I'm a mother of 4 ages 16,11,6, & 4 and I stopped giving goody bags years ago, not only because of the expense but also because my kids left them in my vehicle for weeks, chocolate and candy would melt. Whistles and toys going off on the ride home, just didn't like it at all. Hope that makes you feel better. P.

you could certainly refrain from the practice if that's what you see fit. i would have an activity planned for the kids though so that they have something to do besides hang out among adults conversing. either rent a play jump arena, or set up an obstacle course or have it at the zoo, something so that the kids attending enjoy themselves.

I am sooooo glad someone else feels the same way i do! I stopped giving party bags out two years ago and haven't regretted it yet! I've had children come up to me when the party was over (with parents in tow) and ask me for their "present" before they left. IT SEEMS THAT ONE LITTLE SOMETHING JUST ISN'T ENOUGH AND THEY GET ENOUGH SWEETS AT THE PARTY. I want to put my money into the actual party and make it as nice as i can for my child and her guests, not a "parting gift". And as for upsetting the parents, i go with a dr. Suess phrase: be who you are and say what you feel. Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter! ALSO, I MAKE SURE MY CHILD SENDS OUT A HAND WRITTEN THANK YOU NOTE! I RARELY RECEIVE ONE FROM ANY PARTY WE HAVE ATTENDED IN YEARS AND IT IS PROPER ETIQUETTE TO DO SO. I ASLO THINK THE PHOTOS ARE A GREAT IDEA. Have a great day!

I've done pinatas at my kids bday party, which we fill with candy and the kids fill their own bags, that is just a fun activity for the kids to do and it is fun to watch them, so it is worth it to me. If I do the goodie bags myself it is just with candy nothing that is just going to waste and being thrown away.

I agree. I think the goodie bags can get really ridiculous. I have 11 year old twin daughters and an 8 year old daughter. There have been parties when I chose not to give goodie bags...either the party was enough of a gift for the other children or because handing out goodie bags at the end just wasn't convenient. If a parent is offended, perhaps you don't want their children having that much contact with your child/ren anyway. The point of the party is supposed to be so the birthday boy/girl can spend some fun time with the people who mean the most to them.
Good luck.

We do a pinata and get the treat bags that match our party theme to hand out for it. It's tons of fun for the kids and way cheaper than filling bags with junky toys that will end up in the trash anyway. They love stuffing their own bags with candy from the pinata.

The goodie bags are just a way for the birthday boy/girl to say "thank you" for coming and bringing a gift. (Although I admit it is the parents who are collecting the things for the bags and handing them out often.) I don't feel like we need to write thank you notes because of the goodie bags, and my experience is that the kids (none of mine, anyway) don't get that excited about the goodie bags. In fact, we often forget to get one! If you want to keep your own child(ren) from collecting their bag, fine, but I certainly wouldn't stop handing them out at your own parties. It's good for even the birthday child to give back something on his/her day. Just my two cents...

Hi K.,
I can kind of see what you mean. I guess I had been out of the birthday party loop for a while so when I took my child to a party and they handed out goodie bags, I was wondering when did this start (my daughter is now 7 and I have a 2 year old son). I know birthday parties can be a big deal for some, but if you don't want to give out goodie bags, don't do it. We have comformed to society's way of doing everything and trying to make sure that no one is offended that we get distracted from the main idea. Now I will admit I handed out goodie bags at my daughters first real birthday party, at the age of 5. I also remember trying to gather up items in the house to make up a goodie bag for an uninvited child who showed up. So when one if the invited guests showed up late, I had to do something. It just adds more stress.

Please do not feel that you "have" to give baggies or else! This is something that has become somewhat tradition at bday parties. This goes along with the whole "expansion" of bday parties, where themes have taken over. It's your decision as to whether you choose to give out bags or not. I don't think people will notice as much as you think they will. It's a personal decision. Parties have come a long way from the simple gathering to celebrate a child's birthday and letting them just have fun. I think you'd be setting a great example for others!

P.S. As others have mentioned...Pinatas are a great "extra" for kids to have something to take. We've used them. A friend used them for her under 5 kiddos and threw the candy out instead of beating it. This way, each child gets a "whack", but the pinata isn't destroyed. The pinata rope holder raises and lowers just enough to preserve it. After each child gets a couple in, she throws candy out from behind the pinata and they all race to get some...and there will be enough to go around.

Hi K.... I am also a nurse, and a grandma... I have noticed the goody bags at my grandkids parties, and seems like so much more stress for the Mom, beside doing the party, invitations, etc... to also have to get bags together for a lot of kids. When did this thing start? I agree with you that it is crazy and it is not teaching the kids anything. They don't care about the stuff in their goody bag anyway, and have tons of stuff at home just like it, probably!! I wonder if before you have the next party for your child, you could talk to the other mom's (probably you will be hanging out with the same kids and Mom's for awhile unless you move alot) and see if anyone would freak out if you told them ahead of time you are not going to give out these bags!! Maybe everyone agrees with you and is waiting for someone else to be the pioneer!!!! Good luck.

One of the most important lessons I've been personally learning as a mother is how difficult it is to parent when your constantly sizing yourself up to expectation. I have three young daughters constantly testing my strength and sanity! I would experience extreme rage, to depression, to anxiety, to joy all within a matter of an hour some days. Until I realized, the kids weren't the source of my emotional turmoil. I suffered from this invisible standard I had created for myself. I felt guilty when I didn't do what "the books" said or what the "they" say (researchers, moms, grandparents, teachers...anyone but you). The fact of the matter is, I am who I am. I am individual. I know what works for me naturally, even if it deviates from what other parents are doing or teaching their kids. As a parent, you should stay true to yourself and teach your children what you believe in. If they see you compromising your beliefs simply because it's what others are doing, you're teaching them to do the same. You're teaching them to conform. Don't make the goodie bags if you don't believe in it (which I commend your reasoning by the way) and don't feel guilty about it. It doesn't matter what others say. What matters is that you just taught your child to stand up for what you believe in.

Must be the age 'cause I'm 40 and do not remember getting anything other than a sugar high and maybe a balloon from any party I ever went to. Honestly, this is one reason I don't have parties for my children. I did for the first one's 1st birthday and just feel right about it. It goes against my grain to invite people to my house where I've planned, cleaned, bought food and all that only for them to expect a parting gift. The few parties that my children have gone to have given them gift bags and quite frankly, the junk ends up in the trash by night fall. So, don't feel bad about this. I see nothing wrong with inviting people over for a bit of socializing, cake and ice cream and gift opening then showing them the door. I also haven't rented a moon jump, costumed characters or anything else. The only party I even centered around a theme (bubbles) was a disaster 'cause the birthday boy wanted to go inside, one boy fell into the tub of bubbles and the others were either playing by themselves or in little cliques. SIGH!

i like to give goodie bags. But that does not mean i expect my child to get one every time we go to a birthday party. How dare a parent tell me or any other mom what is to be at a party. first these are not about the parents this is about the kids and when we were little kids i went to alot of parties w/o getting a single thing. if a mom has the gull to tell you you should have a goddie bag. first i would tell her that 1- Go buy you child a goodie bag from dollar tree and 2nd- you are not the mom so do as you wish at your childs b-day party but this is for my child and all the kids seem to be having fun and that is what matters. as long as your child has fun there is no other problem

When my kids were growing up, I never gave goodie bags. I think it is the parents choice and I wouldn't worry about offending other parents. We played games for prizes and the other children that participated got some kind of gift even if it was only a pencil or balloon. They were fine with that. It really depends on the age of the kids what type of prizes are given. Good luck.

hi! K., I think you are so right! everyone needs to teach kids respect, and kindness, these things don't cost a thing, but, are worth everything. god bless you trying to find your way with a teenager. there are fun things to entertain thim that dos'nt cost much, like buying small flower pots,clay pots, and at walmart craft sec. they have little bottles of non toxic paint. very cheap, a little bottle goes a long way. oh! I forgot brushes, but with young children,it don't matter.any kind will do. good luck and love to you! please read for non toxic!

I totally agree with you. A birthday is for the birthday girl/boy not the ones who attend. You have to teach your child the values you want him to have and if the other parents are offended, then maybe they aren't the types of people you want your children around anyway. If the other children do drugs, do you want yours to as well? See, that is what I mean. You have the right idea and are teaching your kids values. A simple thank you note from the birthday girl/boy would be good manners though. God bless. T Pennington, Poplar Bluff, MO

i agree you know when i went to parties
we did not get any bags and also my parents left me at the parties and asked what time to come get me. so when did all this change???? but now that i'm a mom i love to see the parent stay because it makes my live easier. i'm glad b-day parties are only 1 time a year cause they cas STRESS a mom out!!!! i'm not doing bags this year, or if i do i think it is just going to be a thing of bubbles i have left over

My advice, if you don't want to, then don't...I with you...They used to never give them away...My girls go to them, and get them...Yes, they love them..But it is not their day...there's really only one day that the birthday kid gets a day that is his..Let him enjoy it and not have to share it with anybody...I never do it...For one, it gets very expensive....By the time you get the gifts, buy the cake and ice cream, and have anybody over, it's expensive....second, most of the stuff they get in those bags are junk, that I personally just throw away...

K.~ I totally get what you are saying! I thinks children's birthday parties are way out of control now and so incredibly expensive. Whatever happened to just having a few kids over and eating cake and ice cream? Everyone wants a big entertaining production now. If you feel strongly about the goody bags then do not hand them out. I have found though that although most kids do expect a goody bag at the party they are attending, they are always happy with what is in it even if it is just a few pieces of candy. My kids enjoy putting together goody bags and handing them out so unfortunately, I have caved in and am a party to this "greedfest" :-) However, I start early in the year and pick up stuff on clearance sales. After holidays, such as Valentine's Day, you will be amazed if you hit the discount stores such as Wal-Mart and Target and see what they have left over and for mere change. This year I picked up several packages of bracelets and necklaces for about 25 cents each a few days after Valentine's Day. I never buy stuff that looks like it is specifically holiday themed but the jewelry I bought had hearts on them and could be used for ay occasion. Big Lots also has tubs of extremely cheap stuff such as barrettes and hair clips which I remove from the cardboard holder because it is almost always missing one but I can get several of them for 10 cents each. Also, Oriental Trading has the most awesome stuff for really cheap prices. You can shop online or request that they send you a catalog at www.orientaltrading.com. To tell you the truth, I do not think bad of the parents at all if we attend a party without goody bags and have instructed my children to NEVER ask for one or act shocked if they do not have them. I secretly admire these parents for being strong and setting good examples! Let us know what you decide to do!

Good Morning - My thought is that children's birthday parties have gotten way out of hand. It's as if parents are competing to be the most popular party givers. I never gave goodie bags. We never had elaborate parties either. We did the Chuckie Cheese once and McDonalds once (both for 7 year olds). The most popular parties we gave did not involve giving stuff to the guests. A picnic on the Nature Trail w/games, games in our backyard with prizes, were always popular. I always impressed upon my children that this was the one day that focused on them completely. As the children got older we did lunch out for my daughter and her friends, and a wienie roast for my son w/ a trip to the race track w/ his friends. That paid off as he is now working with NASCAR haha. It shouldn't be so elaborate or expensive. Children today and some in my children's generation, have been brought up to expect something akin to a payment for attending a party. Keep it simple and fun w/ good food, that's all they need and really it will be more fun w/ no stressed-out parents and an empty pocket book. Good luck in your decision-making.

I totally agree with you. My 4 year old sons birthday is this weekend. I have been trying all week to decide if I should or should not give out goodie bags. I did at my son's 6th birthday party in Jan. We have been to several parties in the last few weeks and some do and some don't. I've still got a few days to decide and hope I make the right decision for my family.

In considering your question, I had two thoughts. My first question to you would be... why are you concerned that the other parents will get upset if you don't give their children a treat for coming to the party? We have unfortunately become a society that believes we are owed handouts from everyone. The parents should bring the child to your party for socialization and peer development, not to try to save $2 or $3 by letting you provide trinkets to entertain their child. The second thought that occurred to me is.... I'm not really sure that your child will learn that handouts shouldn't be expected just because you don't give out goodie bags at his birthday party. Again, I think society has bombarded us with the gimmes and the want attitude. This can be taught at home by not buying a toy to appease on every shopping trip and educating your child about the cost of treats. In the end, I would throw my concern for the other parents out the window and do what I felt my best in my gut. If a few parents get upset, that just goes to show you what kind of expectations they are instilling in their kids. Hope the party is a huge success!