Birthday Party Etiquette - Denver,CO

Depending on how good of friends my child is with the child who's birthday it is I spend between $10 to $15 on a present...if it is a very good friend I might spend $20 (this would be for their best friend, usullay I try to stay around $10).

As for the twin situation...one present per child is perfectly accpetable...I would even go as far as trying to find one present both children can enjoy (ie a board game or an outside toy) that both children can play with and get just one present per family (in which case I would spend probably $25). I have a friend with 5 yo twins and this is usually what she tells people to do because she has SO many toys. Like you she has a boy and a girl...so it can be hard, but it is not impossible!

Good Luck!!!

My two older daughters have had sets of twins as friends. They have invited the twins to their birthday parties and the twins have invited them to their's. I've noticed that although the norm at the twin's parties are that they are each given a gift by each child...but when the twins attend parties they only bring one gift, not two. If that's all they can afford, then fine...however, I'm pretty sure that it's more of a case of the parents (the ones I know) taking advantage of the fact that they are twins and somehow that makes it okay to do this. I disagree. What I do agree with, however, is that people do what they can I know one parent with 6 children who simply turns down most of the birthday invitations they receive due to finances. When it comes to my daughter's parties, I'd rather the children bring something from the dollar store and just come to the party if that is what their parents can afford to do.

I guess I am another dissenting voice here. I have twin daughters that are 7. We are just getting to the point where they are individually invited to parties and in some ways it is easier (no question as to one or two gifts per child) and in other ways it is more challenging (working through the disappointment of the twin left behind.) However, up until this point we have almost always taken one present per child from each of the girls. Our daughters are two individuals and each want to have a present for each of their friends. When they are on the receiving end, they haven't always liked the idea of having to share a gift. At a young age, they don't really get the quality vs. quantity concept. They share a room and a closet and so many other things that they are always looking for what can be theirs individually. I will say that the exception to this has been on occasion with some of our twin friends where as moms we spoke ahead of time knowing that all of the birthday parties were coming up. We would agree on one gift for each birthday child from the gift giving pair. However, this still meant that each recipient received their own gift. We generally spend $10-$15 per gift. I have also always felt that each child should receive their own invitation and send separate thank you notes. It is a pain but I constantly remind myself that they are two kids that happen to share the same birthday. Kids are always so excited to receive mail and it is especially nice if they each have something to open. It just isn't as special when it has to be shared.

We have continued to have a combined birthday party for our girls because they tend to choose the same theme. However, this year they each sent invitations to separate friends. Each one was allowed to pick six friends to invite. We were lucky that everyone was able to attend keeping everything pretty equal. We work constantly to teach them that just because they are twins, things are not always equal and it has to be accepted but their birthday is not a time that we really want to have to point out that lesson.

I didn't have twins but had 6 kids and hated B'Day party season. It cost us a small fortune and limited gifts to $10 at the most maybe more if the kid was a good friend. You might ask the other mom's discreetly what they are planning since they are in the same boat. I would get a gift a kid from each of mine. Make it inexpense but something they would love.
If you wanted to you could get a game for them to play together. This party racket needs to change, but it was the same when my kids were little and how many toys do kids really need?
I remember a problem a while back from a twin mom that commented that just because they are twins shouldn't they recieve indivual gifts. Is it there fault they were born on the same day? Then the question is if you had separate siblings born on the same day would you have the same problem?
Just some thoughts.
C. B
P.S. It could be clothes or something else that is fun.

I think it depends on your budget and how close you are to the family. I spend $30-$40 on my niece and nephews and about $20.00 on friends. However, I don't go to that many parties yet. My sister, who has two children and a ton of b-day parties, spends $10-15 on a gift. I think each child should get their own gift. Since you have two children (two party baskets from the host) I might spend $15-20 on a gift from both of your children to each child.

I don't think there is a norm. I think people do what they can and what they think is appropriate. I usually spend around $10 a gift. We get one gift for the birthday child from our family. There are lots of nice $10 gifts these days. For twins I usually get one gift per child from our family. Hope that is helpful.

I would give a gift from your family either to each child and spend $15-$20 each or one bigger, better gift for them to share and spend maybe $30-$40 on it. You shouldn't have to give a gift from each of your kids to each of the other kids (4 gifts for one party is ridiculous!). There's no rule for how much you want to spend on a gift...I tend to spend about $20 on the gift, then the card is usually another $2, then the fancy bow to go on the wrapping paper or gift bag is another $2. When all is said and done, it usually comes out to about $25 total. If the child is a close friend, I'll spend a bit more. Of course, if your kids each WANT to give a gift to each child, I would let them pick out something for less than $5 each - unfortunately that really limits the cool gifts to give, but there are still some cute toys out there, especially at that young age. Have fun!!

If I understand right, you're saying that your twins have been invited to parties being hosted for other twins?

I may be the one dissenting voice but I have to say that hosting a party costs a bit of money too-- the host must pay for food, treats, cake, party favors, etc. for each child that is attending. So with that in mind, I would always bring a gift from each child to each child. I would of course make it a less expensive gift but I think the gesture is important.

Along the same lines, I'd never show up to a wedding without a gift and at a dinner party without a bottle of wine or something for the host. Whenever there's a party or dinner being thrown, there is a big expense on the host. In the case of a child's birthday, the gift to the child essentialy takes place of the hostess gift.

HI C.,

Don't reel obligated to give four gifts! Kids get so much stuff anyway. Just give one gift that the twins can share and play with together like a game or outdoor toy. And don't feel like you have to spend a lot on the one gift. What you spend is personal. Just make the gift thoughtfull and it will mean more than four gifts especially to a mother of twins who feels like thier house is being overrun with toys. If the family does think you are being cheap or rude for only bringing one gift then maybe those aren't the kind of people you want (or you want your kids) to hang around with. But I'm pretty sure they will be grateful and understanding!! And just glad you came.

We have twins living next door and they always invite both of my kids to their parties. We bring one gift for each of the twins. (2 total) That seems to be what everyone else does as well. It would be excessive to bring a gift for each child from each child.

Have a great time!
C.

i would simply give a maximum of one present per birthday child. from the family and usually depending on your personal budget depends on the gift. the parties we go to includes th whole family --they feed us and we get a goodie bag of some sort plus cake and ice cream. so i try to find something that lookd like more than it is. for instance if it is on clearence. target usually has a great clearence . one thing that comes to mind since you are buying for twins you could get a basket of some sort (dollar tree) and fill it with play dough -coloring books and colors- hair ties and brushes - disposable camera and photo album - a craft kit - bubbles games . just a variety of fun junk as we call it. punch balloons.
i would say the limit is any where between 10 to 15 dollars is sufficiant .

Hello,

In my opinion I would say $10 to $15 for a gift is fine. I only spend $15 for my neice and nephew for their birthdays and they do the same for my boys.

I would only buy one present, not one from each of my kids.

Just my opinion.

S.

I agree 10-15 is sufficient and one from your family to their family is good. 4 gifts is bad not only for your budget, but for the other family's toy box. I would think even 2 gifts would be hard to manage. If you feel like that's slighting them because they are twins, you could always do a nicer gift and spend maybe double, or a bit less.