Being Full Time Working Mom, How to Take Care of 2 Kids.

Updated on March 15, 2010
S.S. asks from Chicago, IL
23 answers

Hi everybody.

I have a 2 year old son and I am expecting my second child soon. I am a full time working mom and cannot leave my job too.
And if I send two kids to the day care, it will be very expensive. Can anybody recommend me what should I do in this case? Should I keep a nanny or is there any other less expensive option to take care of two kids.

Thanks.

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B.P.

answers from Boston on

I agree with Chris G. I know many people have considered Au Pair programs because of flexible schedules, you can have more control over child care activities and they can even help with other household need. For the cost, I've researched and on average the weekly cost of having an Au Pair is less than other childcare options. Well, you can find more information at www.goaupair.com
Hope that helps!!

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P.S.

answers from Chicago on

I was originally going to be supportive like most of the other people responding to your question but after seeing the question you posted one day earlier I just can’t be supportive. How can you ask others to give you advice about daycare for two young children and just one day before you asked about information on two very high priced minivans? Yes daycare is costly especially for young children and even more for a newborn. As I see this from the outside you seem to be a bit selfish the care of your children should be the most important question on your mind not on how to afford both daycare and a car note. Try keeping the vehicle that you have now even if it is a tight squeeze and use the money you will be saving on day care you need for your newborn. The best care for your children is of course yourself but if this is not possible try to minimize the daily and chaotic travel to and from your home and the daycare center by bringing someone into your home to care for them. You can always keep a watch on your kids through a video cam in your office, that way you can keep a close watch on the kids and the person taking care of your baby and still catch those special moments like the first time they say a word, walk, crawl, etc. Please forgive me if I sound a bit harsh but take it from me I chose to work after I had my first two kids and felt so guilty for it, even though it was their grandmas that took care of them. Ten years later when I had the third and later the fourth I chose to stay home with them because I realized that those precious moments you have with them will go by really, really fast and no amount of money or work experience can give them back to you. The older kids are now adults and they always say that I did the best thing for them when they were very young because they got to know their grandmas and create a special bond with both of them (they are now both gone) and when they really needed me in their teen years I was there for them so no matter what you choose just remember that your kids will be happy if you are happy so don’t over burden yourself by creating further debt. Hope this helps.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.R.

answers from Chicago on

Have you considered home day cares? They are more affordable with smaller ratios and can be flexible too. I know for me I take care of a couple of children out of my house and offer a competitive daily rate that is very flexible with my parent's schedules. Look around your area or ask on this website- I am sure someone knows of a good place.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hi look into getting your kids into A. inhome daycare that is registered with the state. I couldn't afford the national chains and the inhome daycare I found turned out to be a gift from heaven. Not only were the number of kids much smaller reducing the amount of times my kids were sick, her home was in my neighborhood, she made homecooked meals to feed them everyday, and her price was 1/3 for both kids the price I was paying for 1 kid. I was very fortunate so I hope you have the same luck.

Here is the TX website.

Look for a registered child care provider.
Being registered with the state means that state inspectors visit their home at least twice a year to check to make sure they are operating within proper guidelines. And they have to take all the classes in child care and know cpr.

Enter just the city, county, and zip to get a full list of child care providers.

You should visit the home and interview each one you are thinking about sending your kids too. And ask the parents of the other children what they think of the daycare lady.

http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Care/Search_Texas_Child...

1 mom found this helpful
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P.F.

answers from Peoria on

Congratulations on having a second baby! The higher day care expenses will be for a short time until your children are school age but that doesn't help you right now. I don't know if your employer offers flexible spending for childcare which is a tax savings account set aside for daycare. It could help a little. Another thought is to look at other expenses that you have to see if you can reduce them like insurance by raising deductibles or changing insurance providers. I love Clark Howard's advice about money and you can check it out CNN or online. He has many ideas on saving money which could help with your childcare costs.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

i have 2 kids too. expenses aren't as much here as they are where you live and prob the pay isn't as good either. but my husband and i figured out that with daycare for 2 kids plus lunch, gas to work, plus lunch for me and other expenses for work clothes, etc. it was actually cheaper for me to stay home. there were some adjustments to eating out and buying ourselves things but it's worked out (my husband has good insurance). if you can't stay home bc your job is better maybe the father (if he's in the pic?) can stay home instead? if it's not possible than they do have agencies w/ background checks, etc. you can look into those. or go the ymca. they offer babysitting classes so maybe you can check there for people who are looking to babysit.

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W.P.

answers from Chicago on

I wish you had given more details about your situation. Are you a single Mom having a second child? Or is there a husband in the picture helping with income? What sort of day care is your child in now? Alot of good suggestions here-I would also consider,( if it's extra income we are talking about here and not primary), changing your job to work part time and then do part time day care, or a nanny share with someone else. You might even be able to find another Mom who works different hours than you do and exchange babysitting. Another option is changing your work schedule (depending on your job of course) so that you work alternative hours and can be with the child part of the time during the day and with the Dad, or other relative. is with the kids in the evening.
Whatever the situation you want to be sure they are receiving care that you are comfortable with or it won't be worth it. Good luck!

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi Shweta,
You are wise to ask before your second baby arrives. This is the time to start touring your local home childcare providers and researching their rates and also researching your local child care centers and rates and networking with friends and relatives about your search. Look for licensed child care providers (there is a limit to how many children under the age of two who can be cared for in a child care home in Illinois for example). Ask about how nap time is handled. Observe if the children are happy at the places you are visiting. I agree that sometimes two households may share a nanny or au pair. You have many years of figuring out your childcare solutions. If you have relatives handy maybe they can help or provide backup care to you if your childcare provider is ill or on vacation. Sometime people move to part time work schedules (if the work allows it) or have time off to enjoy the new baby...if your employer has workplace of 50 people or more, and you are full time employee, you may be covered under family medical leave act and can take a mixture of 12 weeks of paid/unpaid time off at the time of the arrival of new baby (and still return to your same job after the time off). As you research your child care options, understand that you are looking for someone to care for your baby and your two year old - its a big job so you want to know HOW your care provider will do this work for you and be comfortable with your research into the care provider's experience and background. I have used child care centers, daycare homes and also paid a retired teacher to take care of my children. I had a household employer number when I had the retired teacher working at my house so this was more paperwork for me. She helped me by driving my kids to their after school activities while I was working.
C. L - mom of three

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E.C.

answers from Chicago on

I've been there! I found a woman who provides daycare in her home. If you belong to a church, sometimes they can provide you with a list of people in the area who do that sort of thing.

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L.T.

answers from Dallas on

In home care is usually less.

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M.D.

answers from Peoria on

After I had my son I went back full time for a few months and was so extremely stressed out I decided the extra money wasn't really worth it. We tightened our belts, got rid of all those things we thought we needed and I went part time (2-3 days a week) I was able to do that until youngest was 4 1/2. I remember apologizing to my son one time for not having enough money to do something and he actually said " that is OK mom, I am just so happy to have you home" After that it just really verified my feeling that most kids would really rather have you, than have expensive toys, going out to eat, or vacations.

I was very lucky to have family watch my kids on the days I do work. I also had to take into account that if I worked full time I would have had to place my kids in daycare. For me I really had to do an evaluation of my life and decide what was most important to me. I realize everyones situation is different but you really also have to weigh the cost of your (and your families) mental health and happiness. After pricing some daycares I realized it just wasn't worth it. Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

Would you be able to accommodate a live-in nanny where you live? Generally speaking, the "room and board" that you provide as part of the compensation makes a live-in nanny less expensive than a live-out nanny, who is compensated solely through a salary. It is also very convenient since you don't have to get your kids to/from a childcare provider outside your home. Look at nanny ads on Craigslist or in the Chicago Reader, and place ads of your own in both as well.

Another affordable alternative is like a live-in nanny, but there are set rules governing the arrangement - i.e., an "au pair" to whom you would serve as a host family through the U.S. State Department's "Au Pair Program." (See http://exchanges.state.gov/jexchanges/programs/aupair.html.) With your soon-to-be-newborn though, you would not be eligible for an au pair until your baby is at least 3 months old, unless you or another adult is at home. Last I knew, the weekly salary was very affordable, relative to other forms of childcare - it is fixed by the program, and the au pair's hours are limited to 10 hours per day and a maximum of 45 hours per week (you pick the schedule, which you are free to change around on a weekly basis). The au pair must have at least 1.5 days off, one of which must be a Saturday or Sunday. The au pairs are foreigners between the ages of 18-26 who have gone through the au pair training program and are available through a handful of private agencies in the U.S. who are authorized by the government to administer the au pair program by placing au pairs with U.S. families through a mutual selection/matching process. You pay the agency a fee, and they provide you with information about their available au pairs from around the world. The au pair can likewise learn about your family based on the information you provide in your application.

Good luck to you. I hope you find a childcare arrangement that works for your growing family!

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D.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

Well, I would ask around - friends, family, women at the park or even at work. Call the schools in the area, they usually know people... Is there anyone you know of that doesn't work that would be able to watch them for you? If not, ask around, sit in on places you might consider. Get on Craigslist and look as well. You might find a nice mom there, but be sure to check out their credentials and talk to other parents involved there........
Just keep looking until you find someone. I'm sure you will. Good luck.

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K.

answers from Chicago on

Some daycares will offer a discount for 2 kids. We crunched the numbers and it was still a bit cheaper to do daycare x 2 than pay for a nanny - there are some tax things that change with a nanny, too. If you do an in-home daycare, that may be even cheaper. Are you married and/or can the father of your children help with this? He really has an obligation to pitch in at least financially, and hopefully with time and creative scheduling help as well. Best of luck. Talk to HR at your work about maternity leave and about how much of your FMLA you can take as paid leave. Some places you can work short-term disability for this and combine it with vacation and sick time, so you may be able to take much of it paid.

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C.G.

answers from Chicago on

my girlfriend was just telling me that her au pair is so much cheaper than daycare would be for two children. for one child day care is more reasonable but after ou have a second that is so much more reasonable. her au pair lives with them im not sure if they all have to but, she also does everything that has anything to do with care of the child, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, making lunches, homework, laundry, driving them to practice... sounds dreamy to just come home and be able to play with your kids.

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K.S.

answers from Chicago on

if you have the space, an au pair is more economical than a nanny

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T.K.

answers from Springfield on

I am a grandma now, but I was in the same situation when my kids were young. I was able to find a sitter that would take both of them until both were able to get into a day care situation. Now, there are day cares that take babies. I would think a day care would be less expensive than a nanny. We actually had a couple of sitters in those three years (one was a daughter of a good friend who came to our home but it turned out to be a less desirable situation because she let my baby sleep all day--make it necessary for me to be up until 2:00 a.m. some nights--and she spent a lot of time doing her own laundry, etc. instead of taking appropriate care of my children). Just use good judgment in selecting your day care or sitter. You can do it; it just takes patience and hard work, which you need when you have kids anyway!

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A.A.

answers from Chicago on

l

Updated

l

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K.H.

answers from Chicago on

Hi Sweta,

Is it possible for you to work from home? I have two little ones and I work from home. It allows me to hire someone to come in for 8ish hours per day versus childcare that could last 12 hours if you go into the office. More importantly, it allows me to spend quality time with them when they wake in the morning and after naptime. I am also more in tune with them and what is going on throughout the day and I think it makes a HUGE difference for all involved. I can also supervise the care, esp. when they are sick or for a new hire. I would look at Sittercity.com or Craig's List for someone. There are also companies like College Nannies and Tutors that will help place someone for you. Hope that helps. :)

Good luck..congratulations...and enjoy. :) K.

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T.G.

answers from Chicago on

Does your husband work full time? If so, do you really need to work full time also, I would advise reading the book Your Money or Your Life, you can always cut back on expenses to make ends meet, get rid of the 2nd car, move to a smaller less expensive house, make all your meals from scratch, don't go to Starbucks, these are all little suggestions but they do add up. The cost of daycare is horrible not just money wise but do you really want someone else having more influence over your children than you do.

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

Try looking for an inhome daycare they are normally cheaper than regular daycares. Also check the prices for nannies in your area or look into a nanny share program.

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D.S.

answers from Chicago on

I would be asking a member of your family to help out or a reliable trusted friend for help if that fails then you will need to think of changing your job to fit your schedule personaly I would be at home bieng a full Mum as I believe it is important to bond with the children for the first couple of years off thier lives I do understand with the cost of living its hard to cope with the financial side of things and some if not most Mums have to work.Hope you find this helpfull all the best oin resolving the issue regards D.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

I know probably not what you want to hear, but when I had my second I had to stay home. I would have been bringing home about $100 a week after daycare costs for two and with the commuting and all the expenses that working incurs, it just wasn't worth it. It has been tight, but we have made do, for the most part.

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