Behavioral Chart

A., My son's TSS made him a chart for good behavior. She used a simple calender type and cut out some of his favorite characters with velcro on the back to stick on the days he did well. At the end of the week, he could pick out a small prize from her "goodie bag" she kept. ( just small trinkets/ toys). Hope this helps!

It's nice that you got so many answers .. I do think the empasis should be on the positive, however when he is disobedient there should be some consequence. Christine Field is the author of 'Life Skills for Kid' and it has behavior charts in it, as well as a list of age-appropriate chores. I hope this helps somewhat.

I think the best idea for young kids is catching them being good instead of focusing on the bad (X for when he disobeys). You can get a clear jar and put a marble in every time the child does something you want him to do (like obey the first time, or doing good on his own) and never take any out for not obeying. the key is to catch the good and reward him when the jar is full. Kids have more success when there is positive instead of negative.
Good luck

A., being a behaviorist and special ed. teacher,I'd advise only using a visual icon (star, sticker, smile face) for those appropriate behaviors, keep the focus OFF the inappropriate things.....reward the good....even at 4 they understand reward and consequences. With a 4 yr. old, I'd make it easy to earn, rewards need to be immediate, and be VERY consistent and structured......no gray area or maybe....it's "you do this...and get this"......find one particularly rewarding activity for your child....ie "you earn 5 smiles for following directions on the chart and you get a movie tonight, ice cream with daddy, a visit to the park....etc." Make sure what you expect is clearly explained......ie..." following directions means....the first time I ask, no arguing, within 1 minute I ask it etc. I'd be more than happy to help you set this up. E.

Hi A.,

I briefly scanned a few responses and it seems like all good advice. The one thing I did (because I'm busy and partially because I didn't want to do it) is I bought the Melissa and Doug chart - it's wooden with tons of happy circles and a result that you can put at the end. You can pick what to focus on for the week (for example, no whining or get ready for bed), and then give faces for each day they do it. My daughter gets rewarded for have xx number of circles by the end of the week.

Best of luck!

S.

I just love, love behavioral charts! I use them all the time. what i do is pick behaviors they need to work on, simple stuff:
Get dressed by myself, Be kind to my brother and sister, stay in bed all night, no fighting with my brother, no screaming, use my manners, be kind to the neighbors, do something nice for someone (we have lots of elderly neighbors and they love if the kids make them pictures or give them flowers), anyway they only get stickers or stars for their successes on the list. They LOVE it. then after two weeks, you may want to start with one week, they get a treat for an achievement of so many stars, McD's playground, Dairy Queen or Rita's, or a cousin to come over, i try not to do toys but i have and put a $ limit on it. My boys are 5 and 6 and i haven't used it in a while but it was always great.

Hi A.,
What I have done with my own children is get them involved in making their own chart. Michaels has tons of supplies and you can build one to meet your own needs. You could also try another approach. Get a fishbowl (or something plastic for a four year old) and tell your son each time you see him exhibit good behavior he gets a coin (or a bingo chip?) in the bowl. Each time you see negative behavior you take one away. Allow him to pick a goal as to how many he should have in the bowl by the end of the week.(of course you will need to guide him as to what is an appropriate number) If he reaches his goal allow him to pick dinner or pick a movie he wants to rent or even getting to stay up an extra half hour later. You could do the same thing with a sticker chart or a chart with magnets (you can find all this kind of stuff at Michael's) Explain to him that if you see him doing something "extra" good, he could possibly earn two chips at a time, really anything to give him incentive to act appropriately.
Hope this helps a little. Good luck.

S.

Hi,
If you go to
www.dltk-kids.com/type/printable_chorecharts.htm you can print anything in the spaces and they have different characters to put on the top they are very nice and free!!

Cheryl

When I made one for my daughter, I used small round magnets that I painted one side yellow & put a happy face on w/ a sharpie & the other side was blue w/ a sad face. We had columns for each day & rows for preschool & home. She started out w/ smiley faces but if she had a really bad day at school, it was turned over. Same for home. And...if at the end of the day there were more sad faces than happy ones, she lost a priviledge like tv time or bedtime story.

I know at my daughters school, they use a stop light sort of thing which is more elaborate but could be minimized. Each child had a pocket w/ colored cards in them. They started out green (which was the best) and went to yellow, orange, pink, & finally red (which was the principals office). Yellow was warning, orange meant a loss of 5 mins free time & pink was 10 mins out. The kids could work their way up again if they started off on the wrong foot. It was a good system at k & 1st grade. They knew when they were getting out of hand & sometimes would swap the cards themselves.

I've got a super simple chart that worked for us. My daughter is now almost 5 yrs, but last year at this time she was becoming a little terror, really testing her limits. At the time, I too, was searching stores for the perfect behavior chart and just couldn't find what I was looking for. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I went to Walmart and bought a small whiteboard (about 11 X 10 or so) and some dry erase markers in different colors. I used the board in a vertical direction and wrote in one color the day of the week at the top. Then on the left hand side wrote 5 (one word) trouble areas in a different color than the day of the week. For Emma she was fighting sleeping and eating in particular, so ours said, Bed, Breakfast, Lunch, Nap, Dinner. The Bed was for going to bed the night before and therefore when she went to bed well she started off the next day with a happy face already and that was very encouraging for her. I also made it a point to choose 5 areas of improvement because I thought she should earn the same number of happy faces as how old she is. By giving her 5 opportunities it gave her a chance to miss one every day, I figured I can't expect her to be perfect every day no one is and by giving her that one area to miss she also would get a wake up call and make sure she did good for the rest of the day. So at the bottom of the list I drew a line across the board from side to side, under the line I drew a picture or put a small piece of velcro there to velcro a picture of that days reward. Everyday at the end of the day after receiving that days reward (if so) then she would choose within reason her next days reward. Her particular rewards were, a special snack before bed (ice cream or cookie), to play a game with mommy and daddy alone after her younger brother was in bed (that was a big deal for her to have that special time), to go to the local park or playground after dinner, among other things. It took about a day or two for her to really catch on to the system, it was so quick. And even though she didn't know how to read it didn't matter because she quickly realized what her problem areas were and of course I was constantly reminding and encouraging her to do well. So at the beginning of breakfast I would say remember if you eat all your breakfast you'll get a happy face and all you need is 2 more to get your treat (given she started the day with her happy face from going to bed well the night before). For the first week or two I made it somewhat easy for her to earn the happy faces so that she stayed encouraged and felt optimistic, so I would give her maybe a little less food on her plate so that I knew she could easily finish it without a fight. Then gradually worked up to what I would normally expect her to eat, so slight of a difference that she didn't even notice, but it worked! There is one more thing I added to the chart later after about a month. Emma caught on a little and realized I can behave badly but as long as I do good in the areas on the chart I'll get my treat! So, I made a little change, I kept everything the same so not to throw her off the whole idea, except I added X's for bad behavior. On the right hand side I would put a large red X if she was really behaving badly, she could still be earning her happy faces for the areas on the left, but if at any point she got 3 X's for the day she was done and even if she got happy faces in all the areas she would not receive any treat! That too also caught on real quick! The only other thing is that if she had an awesome day and got 5 happy faces then she got to get 2 things (again within reason), maybe a bigger bowl of ice cream or some ice cream and a game. I hope this all makes sense to you and I'll tell you that it was so easy I could make it the way I wanted it to be without changing an already made chart. And within a couple months we didn't even need the chart anymore! And it was super easy for both my husband and I to be a part of, he could come home from work and see right away how her day was going. Oh, I also put some velcro on the back and hung it in the kitchen on the fridge or end of the cabinets so it was easy access and easy for her to check out throughout the day! It really really worked well and fast i was very surprised and wished I had thought of it sooner! The most important part is to make it simple to follow for your son and at the beginning to keep it a little easy to achieve, because if he feels he can't even earn the happy face he will be discouraged quickly and give up trying and it'll never work! Again I liked to use the different colors for each thing in order to help her distinguish, since she couldn't read. (also she learned to read those words on her chart after seeing them on a daily basis too) So for our chart the target areas were black, day of week blue, happy faces purple, X's red. It was the cheapest and easiest chart ever! Good luck and if you have any questions or want to see a picture of her chart send me a note and I'll get you my email. Good luck Jennifer

A a teacher, I can say that behavior charts are great! However, they are only effective and helpful to the child if they are taken from the positive point of view. Tell him that you'll give a sticker for what ever it is that you want him to do. - Behaving well without promting for an hour..., picking up toys.. what ever it is that you want him to do. It is not, however, productive to record bad behavior or a child's failings. It makes them feel that they can never do right, and actually compounds the problem and makes it worse. So, making a X everytime he does somthing wrong only points out to him that he's bad, and doesn't motivate him to do better. It coinvinces him that he isn't capable of making the good choices. Remember - he's still very little. Teach him he's bad now, and he'll be convinced of it his whole life!
Good Luck!

i haven't read any of the other responses so i hope i'm not duplicating any advice. positive reinforcement is best, i went the other way for a while with my son and we made a pact to be positive with each other and it took about a week and i can't tell you the change in his attitude (and mine). the other thing we do is have a traffic light (we copied this idea from his class at school) make a traffic light; make 3 circles about 3-4 inches in diameter and then have your son color the circles red, yellow and green (they love to be involved in making it) then laminate them on a piece of black paper. put your sons name on a piece of paper and laminate that (you can buy sheets at the craft store) then get some velcro and put a piece on each traffic light circle and on the back of your sons name. each morning start your son on green and if he is bad he goes to yellow and if he is really bad he goes to red, however good behavior (or just not being bad again) lets him move back up to yellow or green. at the end of the morning if he is on green stamp his hand (let him choose one at the craft store), the same goes for the afternoon or evening). the hand stamp is something for them to look forward to and a visual reminder of how good (or if they don't have one, how bad) they have been. the traffic light is easy to understand for a young kid and works in the moment.
I have 5 things going at once and i hope you can understand this! let me know if you need any clarification!
Good luck!

We've just made up a similar chart for our 4 yo daughter. It has columns for the days of the week and something specific listed under each day. For example, if she gets 3 x's on a Monday, she loses her tv privileges for one week, on Tuesday it's her dress up clothes, etc. If she's good all day, she gets a sticker for that day. Hope that helps!

This is a good idea but try to only reward the positive behavior...don't react on the chart to the negative behavior...pick one behavior at a time, not just "good behavior" it's too general. Pick a topic....whatever it may be. I have done things from "no potty mouth" (when poopy was the word of the week) to "I remembered to turn off my light". I make a graph like chart and use stickers. Set goals...after 5 stickers, here is the reward. If it's a smaller thing, after 10 or 15 stickers here is the reward. I let my kids choose the reward...usually Barbie or a power ranger...or even a trip to the video store.

Hi A.. Take this from personal experience, try not to focus or dwell on negitive behavior with a chart. You want to keep it as simple as possiable. Yes, there should be consequencese for mis-behavior, but you don't want to emphasise the negitive, but reinforce the positive.

We have used two different systems with success over the years. One was simply a happy sticker on the family calander for a good day. If our girls were good and did their little chores without a fuss they got a sticker on the calander (different colors for each of our girls) at the end of the month the child with the most stickers got to pick out an inexpensive toy, or pick a movie out to rent, or help plan a family outing that included at least one place they wanted to go to.

The second method we used as they got older. We bought poker chips and gave them 21 chips a week. These chips were kept in a clear cup on our mantel. If they misbehaved or refused to do a chore in a reasonable amount of time or argued/fought with one another we would take a chip. If they did something great, helped out around the house without being asked they could earn extra chips. (Again, each child had their own color chip. I think I bought about 3 or 4 packs of poker chips to get enough red and blue.) I counted the chips every week and gave the girls slips with their chip count for the week, I also kept a list of my own. With our girls we came up with a chip chart. Things they could earn with the chips. The chip chart included everything from dinner out with a parent of their choice, a movie with a friend, a new cd, clothes, sleepovers...anything they could think of that they wanted! They had to save and earn chips to get the "bigger" items. There were things they could earn with 10 chips, like a candy bar or coloring book at the corner store, then a sleepover with one friend was 60 chips. It got a bit complicated for us, but it did work well. Loosing a chip was a big deal when they had their eye set on a new cd or they knew a movie was comming out that they wanted to see. We even had items that they could put their chips together to purchase family events or outtings.

Well, these are just a couple of suggestions that worked well for us. Be creative, think outside of the box, and remember...even the best child will have bad days. Good luck and best wishes!

Just thought I'd share with you what my 1st grade teacher did for us. I know each grade in elementary school had some "chart", but this is the only one I remember because I loved it.
It was an ice cream cone, with 3 scoops of ice cream (pink, brown, white) and a cherry on top. Each day, we would start out with a completed cone, no cherry. If we misbehaved, a scoop of ice cream was removed, and then finally the cone. Of course, removing the cone meant we had to go to the principal's office, maybe that could be the removal of a favorite toy, dessert, being able to play outside, whatever. If we behaved well all day, we got the cherry on top. If we made it through the day without losing any ice cream, we got a sticker and if we made it through the day and had all the ice cream and a cherry, we got ice cream.
This could probably be adapted to suit your needs.

I did something with candy..........I know, not the best, but it worked for us. I put five M & M's on the counter out of reach in the morning. Each time my daughter mouthed off or misbehaved, an M & M was removed. Whatever was left she had for lunch. We then repeated the same thing in the afternoon with five more. It was VERY visual and she loves chocolate. I also put three sad faces on a chart with velcro - each time she had a meltdown, we took off a sad face. If she had at least one remaining at the end of the day she got an extra book at night. Good luck! THere is a book out called 1 2 3 Magic - you should check it out, as a former teacher, it's great for your situation. I should probably give it another read too.

Charts are great. Choose one thing to reinforce and stick to that one goal. Don't punish bad behavior with it, just reinforce. Use another method (time out) for bad behavior. We used this with our son when he was three. He was coming into our room at 5 am. So, we put blue tape on his clock around the hour and told him when there was a seven in the box, he could come in our room. Until then, he would play in his room. Each day that he came in, he got a sticker and when he would get 5, he got a treat or a prize. At the time, he liked restaurants, so we would let him choose and we would go out to eat. Worked like a charm. Google sticker charts and you can find one with Power Rangers or Diego or whatever he likes at this time. It also makes it more fun for them. Be careful to make this very concrete so that it is better understood. Basic, basic. Having a good day is too vague for little kids, and there is too much room to screw up. Who can be good all day!? Choose a positive behavior that you want to focus on (one at a time) and try it. Good luck!

Hi A.,
I have been using charts for my son since potty training and I still us them. I agree with the advice to work on O. behavior at a time. Like I said, I've used for potty successes, manners, helping and am now doing "by myself" rewards (for things like getting dressed himself, making his bed, etc.) If you don't make it specific, he will not "get it" and be confused.
Make a simple grid of blocks (either on your computer or by hand), put a title at the top (mine now is By Myself Rewards) and write a simple list to post alongside for exactly WHICH behaviors will get a sticker. It doesn't matter if he can't read them--go over them with him every day. The chart can be as basic or as fancy as you want to make it. It doesn't really matter. Stock up on some cool stickers. (Let him pick out a few sheets.)
He'll end up reminding you that you owe him a sticker! Let him put the sticker on each time he earns O.. When all blocks are filled up, he gets his agreed-upon reward. Right now my son usually wants to go to the store and get a Nascar or Hot Wheel car. I think I have 25 blocks on my chart. I think when you start using a chart, make it easy for him to fill up. You will have to really focus on catching his "good" behavior and say for example "Hey! You cleaned up your toys--you get a sticker!" Believe me--he'll catch on really fast! Good luck!

Hi A.,
This question is perfect for me. I was a preschool teacher for 17 years and have a degree in Early childhood ed and a mom of a ADHD child and a very emotional child. So, here is my advice. I would try to make it more positive. Try and focus on what he is doing correct and not he is not what he is doing wrong. There are so many ways to do this I will mentioned a few that has worked for me as a mother and teacher. The 3 strike system has worked for me. Give them three chances to change the behavior. At 3 there is a consequence to the behavior. Losing what he is doing at the time or sitting on a chair whatever you decide. There is a great book out there, it may be hard to find but I really thought it worked. "123 Magic" I am at work and am not sure who writes it. But it is awesome. You don't even have to go to three all the time. One, three. He knows though when you say three the consequence is coming. Tell ahead of time how this is going to work. And tell him what is going to happen. The hardest thing is the arguing and pleading. At least in my family it is. My son is going to be a great defender some day.
If his behavior is one that is constant. Break down the day into areas. If he behaves or does what he is told he gets a smiley in that part of the day. After so many smileys he gets to do something special with you.
I also worked a system with traffic lights. Many classrooms use it. Green & Yellow warning, Red consequence. Again, it lets you child know what is ahead.
Behavior charts for me and my experience seem to only work for a very short term so keep changing it up. Maybe work on the one behavior that is bothering the most and go from there. My son is very much into tattling on his sister and money. So, I make hime give me a dime everytime he tattles on her that was not necessary.
Find the one thing that he is into and work from there. Some kids that is hard. My daughter will just move onto something else. So, for her it is much harder, she is also the one with the ADHD. A whole nother story.
I commend you for wanting to change his behavior and recognizing it.
Good luck.
J.

Hi A.!

I used a behavioral chart for my son (six yrs old) last year and it was very effective. I'm a teacher too so I've used countless in my classroom. The best advice I can give you is to focus on the positive. Pointing out mistakes in a visual manner is going to cause more anger in your child. However, reminding your child that a chart is in place can help if you phrase it like this: You are about to make a very bad choice, let me help you turn it around to get a smile instead. Leave the choice up to your child but make sure he/she know that you are there to support and help. Charts shouldn't punish, they should motivate and serve as visual reminders to turn around poor choices.

I used a visual chart for my four year old too. First, make sure to focus on 2-3 behaviors like: kind words, hands to self, listens the first time. Then set a goal, a reward for good behavior, doesn't have to cost money! We have things like: one-on-one time with mom/dad, library, park, favorite cartoon, extra family fun night. Have stars or smiles to show every time your child does something right (related to the 2-3 focused behaviors) and set a goal. My son reaches his goal in six stickers. It needs to be something he/she can reach within one day in my opinion, it needs to be very obtainable for young children.

Good luck! Hope this helps :)
C.

Instead of a chart, I use a clear glass with fuzzy pom-poms. My kids start out with 5 at the beginning of the week. They gain and lose pom-poms depending on behavior. When I catch them doing something great I put one in. If i have to ask more than once I take one out, if they fight or tattle they lose one. This works great for my 8 and 4 year old. The behavior changes almost instantly! On the table this week is a trip to the Library. If by Friday they have at least the original 5 they get to go. If not they get left home and I go myself. The visual of seeing the glass start to fill up is huge. All I have to say is, "I'm going to have to take a pom-pom and they straighten right up. I've tried the chart thing...It was hard to be consistant and they didn't care. This works great! Good luck!

A.,
If you're going to utilize a behavioral chart, your best results will come from rewarding the positive behavior versus notating the negative. You can google for free behavior charts, there are a lot available online.
Peace
S.

Hi!
If I could suggest using positive reinforcement instead of negative, that usually tends to work better in the long run. Not only does it do a better job of shaping a child's behavior but it also increases their self-esteem.

We use a "star chart" for our 4 year old & we worded everything on there in a positive way. She earns stars for when she does something "correct". We have things on there like: getting dressed, brushing teeth, being honest, being kind to others, using listening ears, eating healthy meals, putting toys & books away & being a good helper.
She earns between 1 & 3 stars for each category (eating healthy meals will earn her a star for each one & using listening ears she can earn up to 2 stars, for example).

We have a system set up where for every 10 stars she earns, she gets a sticker & for every 75 stars she earns (at the end of the week--which is also great practice for her counting!) she can earn the right to do something really special--go see a movie, get a small toy, etc...

I hope this helps some!
Good luck!

A.,
I have made charts for my 2 oldest for a couple of yrs. and although they work well, they are time consuming. My sister just told me about handipoints.com, she uses it with her 4 and 7 yrs old I have started using recently. You can set all kinds of things on there. Chores, which can be any thing you choose, and they earn points for doing them, you set rewards for them to work towards and also a demerit list. You pick and choose the behaviors you want to discipline and the number of points they would lose for their behavior. It's great-have fun and good luck. G.

STICKERS!!!! I don't know a single kid who doesn't like them. Make a chart with blockes for every hour or 2 or even do morning afternoon and evening. Make it so that stickers can come off (try only removing half of the back covering they come off easier) or even fun magnets these are easier. At the end of the aloted time either remove or add depending on how he was. Be sure to tell him why he is getting ones removed but don't forget to congradulate for the good stuff to. If he can go either half, 3/4, or all day being good, that's up to you maybe start small, he gets the evening reward (a special snack or lil toy). We had to do this with my one cousin because he was a hand full as well but my aunt just did a pin on his shirt with tiny stickers and then did the reward after dinner. I hope you have luck with your lil guy just remember alot of it might just be a growing faze hopefully.

Here is a link to a fully customizable chart my cousin recently sent me. She had success using it with her 4-year old. I have yet to try it. You might have to copy/paste it in a browser.
http://www.dltk-cards.com/chart/

Working Mom of almost-3 and almost-6 year olds

the supernanny website has some good charts. They are 10 steps that you can move along for each desirable behaviour. I owuld avoid the negative "X". He will feel rotten at the end of the day if he has x'x. You want him to feel the joy of making good choices but you dont want him to feel hopeless when he makes a mistake. Think aobut what you need when you make a mistake. Prevention is also the best tool for behaviour. Also try not to reward every good behaviour with a prize or object. Its importnat for him to learn intrinsic motivation to do good becuase it feels good and makes him happy. Make sure you point that out to him when he makes a good choice by saying how do you feel? It feels good when we help people doesnt it!
Sometimes being to negative takes the joy out of being a parent and the joy out of being a kid. We can be firm, and then motivate them to do better next time giving them a chance to practice what tehy should ahve done immediately after and praising them.
Hope this gives you some ideas.