My children are repetitively hit by a child at their school who has Down Syndrome. I am somewhat familiar with Downs, not entirely. I am extremely angered that my children are getting hit by a child over and over. I am also witness to him pushing and hitting other children. The teachers tell the child, "No" and "Don't hit" but I feel regardless of his disability, this is intolerable.
I have not said anything to the teachers yet because my children have not been truly hurt by his hitting. I am afraid one day he will definately hurt them.
How do I approach the subject at my kids school without being psycho mom at my kid's school? Is this normal to have such behavior problems for a Down's child? What level of discipline should they be giving this child?
Advice?
I would write down every time this has happened date and what happened. Then I would take it to the School guidance counselor or even the Principal I would not take it to the teacher only because you have witnessed the teacher in action when something like this happed to another child.
It is normal for Downs children to have behavioral issues like the ones you mentioned. Normal, yes. Excusable, no. I would definitely talk to the teacher and the principal about your concerns. There should be a way to minimize his outbursts, but it has to happen through his interdisciplinary team (service and support coordinater, caregiver, school), and due to privacy laws, you may not be privy what they have enacted.
Also, the previous poster that said the child has 26 MORE rights than we do is incorrect. The MR/DD bill of rights are rights that you and I may take for granted, like being allowed to have a friend, male or female, come to your house or being allowed to go to any church you want. It was designed so we never go back to a time when people were put in a place like the Orient again.
Good luck!
S.,
No one has to know you are the mom who went to the teacher. Talk to the teacher/principal, etc with the understanding that the conversation is out of concern for ALL the children in the class, not just your own.
This behavior should NOT be tolerated by ANY child. I understand it can be a "touchy" subject- dealing with children who have disabilities, but the point is: if the child with Downs Syndrome was being hit by another child who doesn't have a disability, the other child would be punished in a certain way and that is the way this child should be treated as well.
People seem to forget that consistency is the way children learn. Just as the disabled child needs consistency with punishment, the other children need to see the consistency, too. Otherwise, they will begin to think if one child can get away with it, they can too.
Please talk to someone at the school right away. Maybe they need to have some assistance/training in how to handle special needs children.
Good luck!
Hi. I used to work in a daycare and we had a child with Down's. In my opinion, they should be treating himthe same as they would treat any other child; time out or whatever they would do for anyone else. He is being allowed to get away with it, telling him no, don't hit is obviously not working. I assume this is a pre-school since you said all your kids are under 5? I would go right to whoever is in charge and say, hey, look, so and so is hitting my child and I have seen him hit other children; what is being done isn't working so I think you need to get with his teachers and maybe even his parents and come up with a better plan. I don't think you will come off as sounding like a psycho mom, just a mom who is concerned about her and other children's well being. Beleive me, when I was working in the daycare, we got so many complaints about stupid stuff, and yours is not a stupid complaint. You have every right to expect that your children will go to school and be safe from bullies (which is what they are allowing him to become). Good luck!
I totally agree that school needs to be safe for ALL the kids. No child should be excused from the rules of behavior because they have a disability.
I think you should definitely go to the teachers and, if necessary, the administrators to let them know that it is their responsibility to intervene and do something about this situation.
I'm sorry your kiddos have to worry about such things at school. Good luck getting this resolved.
....LF
I would approach the teacher(s) to express your concern and ask if there is anything on his IEP (Individualized Education Plan) regarding behavioral concerns. If there are then there should be some form of behavior modification established and you could talk to the special education teacher directly regarding extinguishing the behaviors.
While it is completely unacceptable for the child with Down's Syndrome to hit,etc. it may take longer for him to understand "right from wrong." With that said, it certainly needs to be addressed. The students' parents and teachers need to work as a team to teach the child ways to behave appropriately and safely.
For <a href="http://www.empoweringparents.com/Young-kids-acting-out-in... kids acting out in school</a>. I personally believe that one of the keys to helping your young child improve their behavior at school lies in having them work on this same behavior at home. The good news is that as a parent, you are in the best position to coach, teach and hold them accountable for their behavior.
The rules r much more diff. for children with disablities. I have worked with mrdd alot. They actually have 26 more rights than us. He has the right to go to reg school. But no hitting is not right anywhere. I agree and there r still rules for him but they have to basicly tippy toe around this special needs child. But what should be happeing for this child and his peers is a special "one on one" teacher aide to stay with throughout the day. If u notice nobody with this child that is how u should bring it up. For the safey of ur child. Plus if ur child get mad and hits back. Its not gonna be like a reg child fight. U will be in court and all. This is a very sticky deal with children like that. sad for both sides.
I wanted to add if u want alittle info on this then contact ur mrdd board. they can really help and make sure the school is matching all the childs needs and is it the right kind of class. u would be so surprized what can be done and what u can find out. But anything decided must be through his ssa or caregiver or eval.
When my son was in daycare, there was a child that was born with no brain. She could walk but not much else. This girl was 11(still in diapers)and in the room with the 4 year olds. She didn't hit anybody but she always wanted to leave the room. It became an opportunity for the 4 year olds to understand that some kids have problems and need to be treated differently and they would tell the teachers when Shelly-Belly was trying to escape. By law kids with disabilities are allowed to stay in a day care until they are 13. So this child with Downs is not going to go away. Turn it around and teach your children (if they are old enough) how to treat this one. For instance, Shelly sat down at the bottom of the slide. So every kid who came down the slide, stopped before they crashed into her and got off at the side. I was there at the time and I told one of the boys that Shelly doesn't understand him, she can't talk (he was yelling at her to MOVE!). He understood that and went on about is merry way. Kids understand a lot more than we give them credit for. Hope this helps.
No matter what the child's disabilities or problems you have to protect your own children, and need to talk to someone now before one of your children really get hurt. This isn't being insensitive because this child is different, these our your children, and you have the right to protect them and bring this issue to the teachers attention, or better yet the principal's!! Don't wait, and regret it when it's worsens, if no one comes forward how does it get fixed, be the one. It's possible that this kid is teased alot, and he happens to loose his temper, and even though it's not your children doing the teasing, they are the ones suffering for it?? Once my son was threatened to be jumped at his school by a group of others due to something accidently in gym, and I went right to the school, and told the principle my son wouldn't be returning until she talked to all these boys, and assured me he was safe to come their, and I did just that, the principal took care of it, and called to assure me he would be safe, and so he missed 3 days, but he was safe, and wasn't told to go somewhere it wasn't!! Most teachers and principal's have no tolerance rules, and understand, and their's a few that won't make big deal of it, but it's up to you to get to the end of the hitting, and protect your kids! Good Luck, and remember it's about your children, and they need you to help and protect them, you wouldn't be psycho or over barring for speaking up, trust me!!
I would go directly to the Principal. The child with Down's needs to learn the rules just like all the other kids. My son was physically handicapped and had kids with behavorial problems in his classes. They had to follow the rules like everyone else. Usually people with Downs can understand the rules if they are simply put. Maybe the teaher needs help with this particular child. That's why I would speak to the Principal.
You're right - it is 100% intolerable. I don't care if he has Down's Syndrome. School should be a safe place for EVERYONE. Imagine the uproar if it were the Down's Syndrome kid being hit. Talk to the teachers NOW. In my opinion, hitting in a school setting (heck in any play setting) is completely unacceptable. You're not being a psycho mom - would they tolerate a non-Down's kid to hit others? I think not. Why are the rules different?
