Behavior Modification 7 Yr Old

When did this start? If it's recent, you do need an evaluation. We are dealing with odd compulsive behaviors that started a few weeks ago for our son who has ADHD. It's heart-breaking, but this kind of thing can manifest at age 7 or 8.

If it's always been like this, an evaluation can't hurt. If the feedback is that your discipline isn't working for this child and she has no other issues, then you try to determine what will work regarding discipline.

Good luck,
e

The book that I am about to suggest you is mostly for little kids; however, the approach is also excellent for kids older than 5. It is "Parenting Infants and Toddlers without going Nuts" by Maria M. Marinakis. It is actually a VERY good book with practical and simple ideas. Whatever you do, do it consistently and without losing your temper, do not raise your voice, focus on positive behavior and praise it.

Same as my answer to the 5-year-old questions asked at about the same time. Check out the Kazdin Method - very concrete, positive and effective.

How was she at 3, 4, 5 years old? Did she act the same way and how was it handled? Or did this just start out of the blue?

Sometimes when my 5 year old DD gets upset or frustrated, she'll yell at us - she won't call us names or act mean or hit, but she'll just lose her cool. It's more apt to happen when she's overtired or hungry so I've learned to anticipate it to some extent, but I won't tolerate persistent whining and rude behavior. I let her know she's entitled to feel how she feels, but I won't let her treat others badly because of it. If we are at home, she gets a one-way ticket to her bedroom alone with the door shut until she can decide to calm down. If she can't be nice to me or her dad, we don't want to be around her. If she isn't being nice or polite to someone, I make her apologize. But the time alone in her room seems to be the biggest thing that works with her.

The only methods you list here are positive reward systems, privilege removal, talking and showing appropriate behavior.

There is nothing very world-stopping in that list for a child engaging in total raging fits disrespecting everyone in her path.

You can't teach her right and wrong when she's like this. You need to prevent this from happening in no uncertain terms.

I have a 7-year-old daughter and it would literally be physically impossible for her to carry on like this in my house or anywhere else in front of her father or myself. Serious consequences would ensue after one warning to pipe down. Time would not have a chance to solve what we would physically stop immediately. We aren't mean at all, and she's an extremely good kid, but from her very first toddler tantrums, this was never allowed.

We used the book Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson for all of our kids-including the more difficult ones, your daughter is getting on the older side of the scale, but it would still be useful. There are also nice books like "How to Talk so Kids Will Listen ..." but those won't curtail drastic behavior. You can talk nicely and respectfully when this is nipped as a matter of natural progression. I'm assuming you're already an understanding, patient, loving parent and you just need a clamp down on the super bad episodes. I recommend the discipline book if there is no underlying medical condition.