Before or After Baby Comes

I would plan her birthday party for the week before, and I would talk to her about how her new sister will be like a birthday present for her that she can keep always! :-)

My Mom went into labor on my 6th birthday, so we all went to the hospital and my third brother was born the next day! He was two weeks early. So ever since I refer to him as the best birthday present ever even though I was hopping he was girl. :-)

Just keep doing what you can to help her be happy and feel special, and see how it all plays out!

If you do it after baby is born, all attention might be on baby.

Well, I have two children that DO have the same birthday...totally not planned that way. They are 2 years apart, so the oldest really didn't know the difference when the youngest was born. I didn't do a big party that year. I did everything the week before the due date. I was actually in the hospital on my oldest birthday.

Personaly, I would go with a few weeks before your due date. You are likely to get more help from other people if you are 9 months pregnant. You also won't be dealing with getting up multiple times a night to feed a newborn...yet.

Do you always give your kids this much power in decisions that should be yours? You're going to drive yourself nuts trying to keep everyone and every birthday so 'special and separate.'

I vote to have the party before, because you're not going to want to drag a newborn around a bunch of little kids, regardless of how easy the prior deliveries and recoveries have been. Personally, your five year old needs to learn to respect you, and that she can't have it her way all the time.

BTW, I share my birthday with 4 others in my family: a brother 7 years my junior, a nephew, an aunt and a grandparent. It's a popular day in our lives :)

I would do it before. I am a bit surprised she expects a baby to get in the way of her birthday at her age. (She's 4, right?) I'd say if she's already having these feelings your main job now is to help her learn to love and look forward to HER new baby. Talk about all the fun she will have holding, singing, playing, telling stories, etc. to her new baby. Tell her how much the baby is going to love her and can't wait to meet her. Help her pick out a new toy or outfit for the baby. Really focus on helping her love this new baby.

i vote for before. tell her that because you will be very busy around the time of her real birthday - she gets to do it early! really play it up. of course, on the actual day you might want to do a couple small presents. but yes, i agree that you should make it special for her. (When my son turned 4 my brother and SIL got married, so we kind of glossed over the actual "day" and celebrated the week after - this worked at 4, but at 6 he knew the actual date, so we had to be honest with him - at 5, does she know her actual "date"? could you just fudge a bit and tell her "your birthday is next week ya know!" i don't know...if it would work it might be worth it!)

and i would keep talking to her, reaffirm that a new baby is a wonderful thing, that God (if you believe) is giving her a VERY special birthday present, a new baby sister. that is pretty special. no one else in the family has gotten a BABY for a birthday present!

Do it a few weeks before her birthday. This is the quietest your youngest will ever sit in your lap.

Less than 5% of babies are born on their EDD.

My friend went into labor and then birthed on her son on her DD's 4th birthday - and day of party. Both of her kids were born naturally, at home on the same day - 4 years apart. They love it, but it's ALL about how the parent makes it feel and look. You can make it a negative thing or a positive thing. I think it's something that pulls them closer together - a bond that can never change.

Do a small birthday on her birthday with family and a few friends and then have a 1/2 birthday next year, if need be. One of my friends celebrates her kid's HALF birthdays each year. Too much work for me, but it works for her.

Good luck and congratulations!!!

Wait and ask your daughter when the time is closer. She will probably change her mind a few times before March. In the meantime, just get excited about her birthday whenever she brings it up. If she comments on the baby's due date, just change the subject to her party. They are so easily distracted at that age.

another vote for before.

lol you might find your recovery time is a bit different this time around.

Yeah, I'd also say before. This is hard and I'm sorry she's having so much anxiety because I'm sure it makes it more stressful for you too. I think though that without a baby present the focus will be all on her and she can really plan it to the 9s! I'd recruit the help of a trusted family member or friend though who understands your vision ;) so that they can help you set up, run errands, etc. during a tired time for you!

Before....if you even have to have a party. But it sounds like your bigger concern might be helping her accept being a big sister again and how as your family grows there is love enough for everyone and all the kids are important, parties or not. My kids are 3 and about to turn 5...we've never had a birthday party. There are lots of ways to make the day special.

Another vote for having the party a few weeks before your due date. I was seven months pregnant with #3 for my daughter's b-day, so I forked out a lot of money to have a private party at Kids Town. The kids had a blast, and I didn't have to lift a finger. It was great!

If you have the budget to do so, maybe have her party at a Pump It Up Playtime or Monkey Joe's. (Do this about a month before her b-day so you won't lose your deposit if you go into labor a few weeks early.) Good luck!

Seriously, you don't have a husband and/or other adult relatives or friends that can help you out here. Since there is no way you can be sure what the exact birth date of your baby will be, if I were you, I'd figure out a way that your daughter's birthday party will happen on her exact birthday this coming March, no matter what happens with the new birth. You would have to have arrangements for her care (and that of her brother) anyway while you're in the hospital, right?