Bedtimes!!!!

I just recommend that you make up a routine and stick to it until they get use to it. Children are easy to train to a routine and they like knowing what to expect each day and night...after a short while they will be telling you if you miss a step in the regular routine! lol. Good luck!

Please pass an new info you get on this to me since my daughter is now doing the same thing.. thanks!

A.,
Letting your kids stay up is hard on them. They need to know what to expect. My son goes to bed each night by 8:15, but we follow a schedule each night so he knows what's coming. We do a bath, books (so important) and then say good night. Both his dad and I kiss him and put him to bed together. Then we apply what's called the 15 minute rule at our house. (may make this longer just starting out) If he cries (and only cries, not just awake) he is allowed to get up after 15 minutes. We do this for naps and bed time, and only once that i can remember did he out last the 15 minute rule. Also, i don't keep my house quiet, that's just not realistic in my world, because i do most "house cleaning" after bed time. Good luck.

First of all i think your dad might be right. That is what i had to do with my kids when they started that. I also watched super nanny LOL and found that just like her if i would put them to bed and they got out i would put them back in bed without saying anything to them and they eventually got the hint that it was bed time and they needed to go to sleep. As for crying them selves to sleepo there is no harm in it. it wont hurt them. Good luck

Put them to bed and let them cry it out. That part is going to happen no matter how easy you try to make it. The fact is they are use to getting to stay up with you and will not like the change to an earlier bed time. A bedtime routine may help but there is no way to stop the tears without giving in and if your children don't already know that, they will the first time you let them up after they have cried. Children are focuesd on themselves and what they want or need no matter how young they are. After my first child I had to take a shower while he cried himself to sleep, which was 10 or 15 minutes that seemed like forever. I couldn't keep from thinking something may really be wrong even though I knew I had checked everything. Right down to maybe he had a string wraped around his toe from his PJ's. It won't take long but if you really want them to be in bed earlier, now is the time to do it. It will only get harder as they get older. Once a child can walk, talk, and have the endurance to challenge the rules to get their way you will kick yourself (repeatedly) for thinking you couldn't do that to them so young. This happens a lot sooner than you think. Mine started having the endurance to challenge me on rules around your oldest son's age and I mean fits that lasted for hours. You are going to have bedtime struggles even with a child that has never stayed up past 9pm. Its normal I mean look at any teenager you know, they even do it! or us as adults for that matter. My husband and I don't go to bed as early as we should either.

I know it may not seem easy, but you need to be setting the example. You go to bed, the kids have no choice but to go to bed. Make the routine special for them, bath, bedtime story, hugs and kisses, etc. You have to be very structured, same time every night, weekends too. And yes, they are going to fight you, scream, cry, etc. That's just what kids do and you can't give in to that.

Read On becoming baby wise and on becoming toddler wise. You and your kids will learn new things that will make a big difference. You need a very boring, consistant routine. For example, They wake at 8am, get dressed, eat breakfast by 8:30 or 9 if you need more time (pick one and stick with it), eat a snack at 10:30, lunch at noon, nap immediately after lunch, snack upon waking, dinner 5:30p, snack 7:30pm, immediately followed by getting pjs on and brush teeth, read stories, sing songs, take a bath - whatever your routine is, lights out 8:30. If they can depend on the exact same thing every day, they will not resist part of the routine. 3 days is all it takes to get on track, but stay consistant. If they cry offer a hug and a kiss and tell them it is time to say good night...make them say it either by waving or saying night or bye or something close. Then they are more willing because they were in control (so they think). Trust me, this works well. Make sure they understand this is a great big hug to help them get thru the night and you and daddy will be in the other room and will be ready to see the kids in the morning and can play with them. Tell them you will come in and say good morning or whatever is a great catch phrase that they know you for in the morning when you see them 1st thing. I have 3 kids and from the very beginning all 3 of mine have had the same routine. I was able to get them to sleep at the same time even when my last came home as a newborn. She slept more obviously as infants do (yours may take 2 naps still so throw in that nap after breakfast or snack...part of that is keeping consistant with nourishment then to bed that happens at lunch and bedtime. My kids are all a year and a half apart each and I was able to work this out with all of them allowing myself some time during the afternoon nap (my oldest 2 only had an afternoon nap only.) Hope that helps, hang in there and be confident. You can do it!

B. :)

My daughter is about to turn three and when she was one we put her into a very set nightime schedule. Her bedtime is 830 and has been for a while. However, before bed she does certain things to "wind down" and get ready for bed. Since she was one it has always been: dinner, followed by bath, followed by quite playing with quite toys, then she cleans her room (We help of course but she does a lot. This gets her in the habit of cleaning her room as well as wear her out :)), then we read a bedtime story and she gets tucked in. With this same schedule it is very easy to get her to fall asleep as soon as she goes to bed. As for you staying up late, this shouldnt be a problem once they are into a schedule. My husband works 2nd shift and gets home at 11pm. He is usually up until 2am "winding down" and does not bother or wake my daughter at all.

Therefore, if you have a very predictible schedule for them and/or have them help with a certain task that wears them out, like cleaning their room, then you can get them into a set pattern for bedtime and you staying up wont bother them.

A.,

I have an almost 1-yr-old and CIO does really work as long as you're CONSISTENT. We only had to let him CIO for 2 nights before he got the picture. He goes to bed at 7pm and wakes at 6am like clockwork.

My husband and I stay up pretty late but keep the house fairly quiet so as not to wake him.

A good book is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Scott Weissbluth. It's not an easy read if you try to read it from cover-to-cover (there's a lot of research in it) but I just go to the sections that pertain to me.

I think healthy sleep habits really DO lead to a happier family in general! If we're all well rested, we're all in better moods!

It's not cruel to let them CIO to teach them how to get themselves to sleep, after 6 mos of age or so. It's simply a lesson they need to learn.

I sincerely hope this helped some! Good luck!

J.

My son used to be like that too he would go to bed at like 11 or 12 at night but if u keep them on a routine it helps a lot. Now I put him to bed at 9. Try to do stuff that soothes them like give them a warm bath and then put them in their beds and put on classical music or soothing music and read them a book. That usually works for my lil guy. I know it's hard to listen to them cry but that's how they learn to put themselves to sleep.

Your dad is right about this one!!! Put them in their beds at the desired bedtime and let them cry it out! Do this for a few days and they will get the picture. I did this with my daughter at the age of 8 months and when my son came home from the hospital I immediately did it with him. Now they both go to bed at an appropriate time! Hope this helps.

Just make a routine with them... They will get used to it... I do agree that you need to let them cry... Once they realize this is what will happen they wont cry anymore... You may do it slowly by putting them to bed a half hour earlier each week/day... But you are the parent and they will listen eventually... Hope it works for you... Just make the routine a relaxing time with them... I used to put on a night tape with my boys... It was slow songs for night time and they knew it was time for bed... They were asleep by the time it went off...

PLEASE GO TO www.askdrsears.com AND READ UP ON SLEEP!!!!!!!!! Think about what "cry it out" means to your boys. Please don't do it.

A.,
Please remember your parents raised you and the advice they give is something they had to do themselves. I'm 54, and I agree with grandpa, put them to bed and do it the same time every night, read them a story and turn the lights off. Let them cry, they are only crying because they aren't use to this. That's normal. They will learn to just go to sleep on their own