E.B.
I am also a goodie bag hater but really like to give the kids something for coming because I know how much my daughter likes to get something when we go to parties! Last year for her party I bought plastic cereal bowls and plastic spoons at Wal-Mart. They are sometimes on the end cap or sometimes, or they are with plasticware dishes. I bought some paint pens in the craft section and painted each childs name on the outside of the bowl and their first initial in the end of the spoon. Then I bought some of those snack pack bags of Fruit Loops and Pops cereal and taped them to the inside of the bowl. A semi-healthy snack and a reusable bowl and spoon. I think the 4 pack of bowls was under $2 and the spoons as well. It was super cheap to do, the kids loved having something with their names on them, and the parents loved not getting a bunch of candy and junky toys.
This year we had a girls only party. I got each girl a pink hair bow to take home from www.littleclippies.com. They are $2.45 each. You could find a boy appropriate item and just give them that one thing along with a book or puzzle from Big Lots or Dollar Tree. The parents loved the bow as it was something the kids would use again and again.
They also have canvas bags at Wal-Mart, Michaels, Hobby Lobby, etc. You could get one for each child and some stencils and let them all decorate and take home their own bag for trick-or-treating this year.
Good luck. Let us know what you decide!