Bathroom Issues - San Jose,CA

Ah sorry but that doesn't sound right. Sometimes kids have to go when they have to go. If it was excessive and she was trying to get attention then I could see the teacher trying to redirect her but that is nonsense. I certainly would be having the conversation or sending an email saying that if she needs to go let her.

I needed to pee desperately in 2nd grade, and raised my hand twice to ask. The teacher told me I had to wait until the last few kids had finished reciting the alphabet. I finally couldn't hold it any longer, and peed in my seat. Total humiliation. But the teacher did feel bad about it, offered to help me clean up while all the other kids were out at recess, and never denied me a bathroom request again.

For what that's worth.

Bathroom privileges are frequently misused, and some teachers get pretty hard-nosed about it. But.

I would send a note to the teacher that you don't expect your child to have to hold it when she's feeling desperate, and you have instructed her to just quietly leave the room for a bathroom break if she needs it. If the teacher would prefer that she give permission first, then she must change her policy to allow children to raise their hands. Period.

Wow, I would mention that when your daughter needs to go, she is not fooling around and you are worried about a bladder infection.

I have never heard of a teacher not allowing a child to go, unless it is a child who has abused this by fooling around in the restroom.

How old is she and what grade???

Next: when I was in elementary school... my classmate had Kidney problems... due to holding it too often and too long and constantly. Once the kidneys are damaged, well, it is damaged.

Now, per my kids school They can go to the bathroom ANYTIME. Even if during a lesson. They can go. They just tell the teacher.

Now, maybe raising your hand to go to the bathroom is the problem. Because, a raised hand, can mean anything/a question/an interruption etc. SO, the Teacher may misinterpret a raised hand.
In my son's Kinder class, FOR bathroom needs, the children make a different hand gesture. They are taught.... to raise their hand use the American Sign language gesture for "bathroom."
THIS way, the teacher KNOWS darn well, a child has to go and pee and go to the bathroom. And the Teacher ALWAYS allows a child, to use the bathroom, anytime.

NOT allowing a child to go to the bathroom... is to me, very inappropriate.

I say: your daughter's Teacher really irks me and I would have told her... NO, my child will go to the bathroom when need be... or you will have an accident on your classroom floor.
It is a biological need.... which does not wait, for your timing.

How old is your child? That would make a difference in my answer. Older children, 6th grade and up are frequently not let out of class for a bathroom break. They are being taught how to organize and use their time wisely.

I do suggest that if your daughter is using the bathroom at recess times she is urinating 3 times/day and the time between the last recess and time she gets home is 3 hours or less. That should be sufficient to prevent a urinary tract infection. Since she is holding it her body is mature enough to manage this way.

If she doesn't ride a bus she can use the bathroom immediately after school too.

Added: if you haven't already talked with the teacher, you should. You can only get this straightened out thru communication with the teacher.

How old is the child? 6 th grade? Kindergarten?

I am not sure how old your daughter is, but the younger the children the more often the teacher usually does bathroom breaks. My 2nd son started kindergarten this year and the first two weeks he complained that he would have to go so bad that he barely made it to the bathroom. He quickly learned that he has an opportunity about every 30 minutes to go when there is a break between lessons and classes. He no longer waits until the lesson has begun.

For my first son, they did it differently, the teacher had bathroom passes and the bathroom was right in the room so the kids could just grab the pass and go to the bathroom. This made it so they could go and not disrupt the rest of the class.

If you are really worried, I would just tell the teacher that you expect her to let your daughter go to the bathroom when she needs to.

Good luck!

My older kids that are in highschoo, drop their books and run to the bathroom time they come home from school. They argue about who is going to use the closest restroom to the front door They say the same thing, that they can only go at certain times and that the teacher dont like to let them go during class times. But I told them if they have to use it really bad and cant hold it, just get up and go. And tell the teacher to call me if she have a problem with it
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As a teacher, I would say that you should talk to her teacher about it. When I was teaching Kindergarten my policy was to go during recess of course but they could let me know when they needed to go as long as it was not instructional time. There were the occassional emergencies but overall the students knew that if they were back at their tables or independently working, they could let me know that they needed to go. I also stated this policy to the parents at Back To School Night. Unfortunately at that age and apparently into 4th grade! (where I am currently teaching) *some* students tend to use the bathroom as a way to get out of the classroom and play. I would just ask the teacher if there has been any issues with your daughter not using the bathroom time properly and if not, to please let use the restroom when she needs to as you are concerned about infections. :) Best of luck!

Absolutely talk to the teacher again, Make an appointment to do so. Your daughter should be able to go to the bathroom when she needs. If it becomes a problem with your daughter, then the teacher needs to talk with you so it can be worked out together. I have 3 children and I have already gone through this I have a friend who went through it with her daughter as well. . Yes, complications may arise from holding it too long, so it's not a good thing to get in the habit of doing. First grade is a big adjustment so I wouldn't let this get too out of hand. The school year is early!
Best Wishes~

Just an observation that may explain the teacher's response. When I volunteer in my child's classroom, I notice that quite a few of the kids in Kinder and first grade have a habit of going to the bathroom when: 1. They have to go to the bathroom. 2. Their attention span shuts down, and they want to go do something else. 3. They are struggling with the material, and want to get away.
Sounds like the teacher is trying to avoid having to figure out which one it really is by having a one size rule. Although it seems unfair for the child who really has to go at this age, I can also empathize with the teacher who has quite few little people who may be asking to go for other reasons.
Perhaps there is a certain time of day when your child really has to go and if you can figure it out, maybe something can be arranged?
Good Luck - A

Some times the teachers have a blanket rule about not going to the bathroom during class because it starts a marathon. Once one child goes, then everyone else is going to want to go and it becomes very disruptive. Normally kindergartners have a recess or some sort of break like every hour or so, so if your daughter goes at recess, she shouldn't be "holding it" very long by the time she gets home, depending on how long it takes her to get home. I would suggest reinforcing with her that she must use the bathroom during recess or other breaks and that she can and should use the restroom as soon as class is dismissed so cut down on the "holding" time. If there is a medical reason why she can't hold it, then you should discuss that with the teacher individually.

she should never have ot hold her pee. if she goes at recess amd has to go again, the teacher needs to let her go.

Since you already spoke to the teacher, I would go talk to the principal. This does not sound acceptable to me. Meanwhile, ensure she goes right before school. Is it 1 hour to recess, 2 hours, 3 hours? If over 1 1/2 hours I would say that this is a serious issue and needs to be addressed.

That is terrible!!!!! I have interstitial cystitis (painful bladder syndrome). The cause is unknown but it basically occurs when the GAG (mucus) layer of the bladder has been worn away. I am on daily painkillers for it. I developed it in my 20, a while after an untreated infection. It has completely changed my life. I still work but many people with it are on disability.
I remember vividly how one time my teacher lectured us on using breaks for the restroom, which I did. However, a few days later, I still had to pee really bad during class and held it for hours until I was feeling a pins and needles feeling and had to ask. Some people even scoffed when she allowed me to go. I think it was the first time all year I had asked. I wonder sometimes what damage that may have done to me.
My bladder capacity is now 1/2 of a normal persons. I have a lot of scar tissue because the bladder walls cannot scab, so it builds up more and more. Some people end up with a bladder the size of a walnut and have to have it removed.
I think the teacher should be more educated! People are not all build the same. Someone might have a smaller bladder and have to go more.

I don't think this is acceptable or healthy at all. It's not healthy for ANYONE to hold it. When my daughter started 1st grade, she was so nervous she had to go every half hour and the teacher never said anything. In her school, if you have to go to the bathroom, then you go to the bathroom.

Definitely talk to the principal and maybe even bring in the school nurse. It also may help if you can talk to your child's doctor and get something in writing for him.

SO not right to make a child hold it! What if they can't and they have an accident? Do they think that would be a good thing? Jeez ...

Good luck and post an update when you can!