Bath Time - Dallas, TX

I asked my pediatrician this question and she told me when the child decides it is time to stop. She said 4 years old is about average. My oldest daughter was about 5 when she stopped. My husband only takes showers, never baths. My youngest daughter loves to get in the shower when she sees him in there, so that may be why my older daughter joined them sometimes. She gets jealous fairly easy.
My children takes baths before bedtime and my husband takes his shower early morning, so the only time the children were really able to take showers was on the weekend when dad takes his shower after breakfast. They thought it was so much fun to take family showers. They don't ask anymore, they are 4 and 6 now.

Hi J., I would say when your husband starts feeling uncomfortable or your daughter starts to ask questions or wants to touch parts that makes your hubby uncomfortable. My son is three, four in May and he took showers/baths with me until a few months ago because he kept wanting to touch my breasts, so I thought it was time to quit them. I hope this helps.

My husband has never taken a bath WITH our daughter. Other than when she was a tiny infant and needed an "emergency" wash-down, I don't think it's ever been appropriate for them to bathe together. However, he's always been the one to help the kids at bath time. When our girl was close to 3, I started getting back into the bath time routine and we decided to start teaching her to bathe herself. She's nearly 4 and pretty much takes a shower on her own with me checking in to help with her hair, and help her get out and dried off, dressed, etc. Daddy still helps our son with bath time, but he's not quite 2 yet. It will be a few months before he is encouraged to bathe independently.

My DH took baths with our daughter till she was around 5 or so, but he always had his swim trunks on. It just kept things a lot simpler, and the one time she asked why he had his trunks on, he just said, "its just the same as the swimming pool, and i'm not washing with you in the tub, because I prefer the shower." No big deal, and that was that. :-)

I certainly don't think there are any set firm rules on the subject; however, one might guess -- at such time your daughter starts noticing/asking questions is aware of body parts and should you daughter be staring in that one direction too - one might want to discontinue.....you as the Mom, I guess are probably going to have the make the logical judgment call.

There's definately a cut off point, but I think it also depends on the child. With my first daughter, it didn't seem inappropriate until around 1 when she actually asked questions. It stopped right there! My second daughter was still an infant, but was very grabby. So, my husband quit right then. After that, we had 2 more chilren but he didn't bathe with them. I think he was just really uncomfortable from his previous experiences. So it also depends on Daddy's comfort level too, I guess.

I don't think it is a good idea to let your daughter & her father take baths together. Kids notice difference very early.
And they do like to grab & touch.

I looked into this a while ago as I have two daughters. The most sensible answer I could find is that the nudity should stop when either of them starts to feel uncomfortable. We started making an effort to keep Daddy covered up when our oldest started to really look and ask about his parts. She is almost 5 and is starting to want privacy for herself now. She still likes Daddy to play with her while she is in the bath, but doesn't want him to see her naked when she gets out. I guess that makes sense in her little brain!

Hi J.,

You are asking for opinions, so I am giving you mine. I agree with Maggie. However, here is my take. If you don't ever start a habit, then you don't have to break it and it is easier on everyone all the way around. I don't feel it is appropriate to be getting in the shower/bath with a daughter. I do have a son, so that is really not an issue in my household, but my son is about to turn 4 and has already asked questions, but whenever my son gets in tub with his dad now, my dh puts on swimming trunks. His Dad has always been the one to give baths to our son; that is their bonding time. My dh allows him to play and dawdle in the tub. Wheras, at that point of the evening, I am tired!! I just want to get him washed, cleaned up and out of there!! So he of course prefers his Dad to bathe him. My dh rarely if ever takes showers with our son. We really try and avoid that.

I am sure he will give him his bath forever until he ask him not to, and of course my dh answers any questions he may have about body parts, etc., whatever as simple as possible.

With girls, I just don't feel it is appropriate to be doing it together. And once you start, then you have to readjust or do something different and you can just avoid that all together if you don't start it. I think it is fine for a Dad to bathe a child (girl or boy) and certainly to teach them how to, but getting in the tub/shower with them, no.

Thanks for allowing me to express my 2 cents worth!

Gladys

I would say it depends on the child and the father. If the father is ok with explaining the differences, then I think it's probably ok until about age 4. If they're not, then i would stop before they're old enough to start asking questions. My dh is not comfortable about it at all and has never taken a bath/shower with our daughter. He even locks the door when he does so she doesn't accidentally come in, but that's just him.