Bank Statements -Online

His money IS my money...and vice versa....I dont have to NEED an excuse...does he make so much $ that 700 bucks can get 'lost' .....? If so...start asking questions....

Ask. To do anything else would not be good for a marriage. Deliver the question in a non-confrontational method and be honest about how finding that information made you feel.

Marriage is a partnership. Clearly you husband needs to understand
this. Perhaps his mother didn't explain this to him.
You need serious help.
Staying home is what you do. Work is what he does. Money is
together and spending should be a joint deal.
Ask to see the bank statement. Then you can start
a discussion.

if your name is not on the account and you do not officially share funds it is none of your business. If you want it to be your business then your name should be on the acct. If you can not trust each other with money what else do you doubt?

Actually, this speaks to the communication in your marriage. It shouldn't matter if he left the bank statement open by mistake, or if you actually looked it up. You should be looking at the bank statements as you are both responsible for the finances. Yes, I see that you are a SAHM, but that doesn't mean you don't have a say in the finances. I agree your name should be on an account in case of an emergency, etc. My husband & I have our own businesses, so we have: business & personal accts for him, business & personal accounts for me, and House accounts-both savings & checking. We both put money into the House accounts so we can pay bills. We also put money into the House savings account to save up for big expenditures for our family. AND, we BOTH have access to ALL accounts. We know one another's passwords for all the online banking, and we talk about our finances on a regular basis. If you cannot comfortably ask your husband about something as important as finances, what else are you uncomfortable asking about? Be involved, please. Peace, B.

You not only need to ask, you need access to each other's bank statements. There can be no financial secrets between couples - you should know how much money comes in, how much goes out and where it goes, and if your budget allows, each of you should have a set amount (like $100 a week or whatever) that you can spend freely so that you don't have to nickel and dime each other over filling a prescription or buying coffee or getting a haircut. There is no reason for you to not know what that $700 is for or for you to not have access to his bank statements (and he to yours).

I don't really understand how this could be considered snooping, but that's just me. My husband and I are very open about our finances. Since we had our son, he is the only one working and I stay home with the baby. We have a joint account where his paychecks are direct deposited and all of our bills get paid from that account. I do have a separate account in my name, from when I was working, because I worked at that bank and it was easiest to set one up there. I hardly use it now that I'm not working, but it's still open. Regardless, of whose name is on the account though, both of you should have the expectation of full disclosure with finances. Especially since you depend fully on him for money. If he truly believes that what's his is yours, then he should not mind that you looked at the statement. As far as what he withdrew all that money for, only you know your husband and how he would react to being questioned about it. If it were me, I would ask. But don't accuse, and don't treat it like you did something wrong by looking at the statement. Just tell him you noticed that he left the statement up on the screen last night and by the way, you noticed he took out $700 recently... Say you thought you weren't going to be spending large amounts like that for awhile, so you just want to make sure everything is okay. As a SAHM who depends on your husbands income, it just makes good financial sense that you be kept in the loop with money matters. Get your name on that account!

Does he give you any other reason for you to think that him taking out this money is a bad thing? Or are you just curious?

If you're just curious, don't ask... What if he's planning something special for you on your vacation? By asking you would piss him off, and ruin the surprise.

If he says that his money is your money then obviously he should think that you have a right to know where your money is going. Another thing, I think you should be added to the bank account, even if you do not have a card or checkbook for it, it's important to share all accounts. My step mom passed away 2 yrs ago and she didn't have my dad on her business account and he had a heck of a time dealing with the bank and everything. Not to be negative but bad things happen and it's just easier to be prepared. I do have a savings that my husband's name is not on, but I added my daughters name so if something happens someone has access to the money. Easier to be safe then sorry.

Ask. This will drive you crazy and you should always be able to talk about anything with each other. If he takes it as snooping, well, that's just how it is. I look at my husbands account all of the time to coordinate paying bills and offsetting expenses out of mine. It was innocent and that is a chunk of money...the only downfall is that you might miss out on a surprise...however, this will really help you to be able to stop wondering..

It's a marriage. The money isn't his. It belongs to both of you. Do you know that if he fails to pay a debt it is yours to pay. Do you know that if he doesn't pay his taxes you will be responsible once you are working again?
You are responsible for each other financially. What is he doing with the money.
You're not the nanny you are the wife and mother. Your husband has a screw loose somewhere about relationships and you both need marriage counselling as you feel so diminished in this marriage.

Why don't you have access to the online bank statement?

I'm in charge of "our" money, even though I'm a SAHM and he earns it.

Did he withdraw it as cash or is maybe a credit card through the same bank and he transferred the money to that. Maybe to pay for your tickets? I agree with most of the other responses. It is both his and your money regardless if he is the one who works outside the home. You are a SAHM taking care of y'alls children. And it is important for you to be on all bank accounts and have access to them. As well as knowing how to access them. If, heaven forbid, anything were to happen to him and you needed to take cars of paying bills or having money in your pocket for anything, would you be able too? If that money didn't go toasted paying off tickets and it's not for an innocent surprise he should be able to tell you right away. If he sputters and gets defensive not wanting to tell you or says it's none of your business then I know I would have a serious problem with that.

Sarah B. has it. :)

This much money is big. I would ask my husband but only because we've had money issues before and we have a small income. I'd want to make sure everything is alright too! If your husband did pull this money out as a surprise for you, all he'd have to say is "yeah, I pulled it out but it's for a surprise" or something along those lines. He wouldn't give it away but he'd also be communicating with you, which is a big thing for trust. As big as the amount is, I admit I'd be concerned if my husband won't talk to me about it. In a trusting marriage, you both have a say in the finances even if you yourself did "bring home the bacon" so to speak.

However, if this is your only bank account, your name really needs to be on it. Not for control issues or trust issues or anything like that. It's just in case something happens to him and you need to access the account. It doesn't matter if you're his wife. If your name isn't on it, it's a no go. Also, make sure it reads "or" not "and". If it says "or" (such as John Smith or Jane Smith) you're able to access it right away but it works dif for "and" (John Smith and Jane Smith). (It's the same way for property titles; my parents learned this the hard way when my grandfather passed.)

Whether you are a SAHM mom or not, it doesn't matter.
Whether you have joint accounts or not, it doesn't matter.
California is a joint marriage state. If either of you incur a debt, you are both liable. If you get a divorce, you each get half.
I think you are entitled to know what is going on in the finances.
Ask.

ASK.
I'm confused, is there only one account and he has access to it, not you? Do you each have an account and if so, how does yours have any money in it if you are a SAHM, does he funnel money into it for you to spend?

$700 cash is a lot and very fishy to me. I think you should be able to see his bank account whenever you want. My hubby and I have no secrets with the money. I could log on to our account right now and see if he hit up McDonalds on the way to work or not this morning. He hates it because sometimes I give him a hard time about spending $7 dollars out at lunch or breakfast when we have perfectly good food at home to eat. Teasingly of course, I don't really control what he does with small purchases like that.

So if that's how I am about $7, you better believe he would have some 'splaining to do if he randomly withdrew $700 one day.

This reminds me of a time I was at one a husband's coworker's house and she was showing me one of her husband's bike shoes and a recent receipt for $2000 bike tires fell out. She didn't know about them and was incredibly pissed. She did talk to him, and I'm sure it was not good. I would talk to my husband if there was something like this. We share everything we buy with each other, so I would know if something was funny on his statement. We also have separate bank accounts, and we are constantly transferring money to each other.

Also, it could have been paying off a credit card or something, or maybe to savings? Try not to be too accusatory when you bring it up. If it was something that simple, but you say it nasty (something we all do without meaning to), he will probably in turn be nasty.

You have the right to ask. Just because it's HIS account - he left it open.

We have a his, mine and ours. I'm a SAHM. Every paycheck he gets, he puts $200 in mine. that's my play money for 2 weeks - I buy groceries (yes, i can buy groceries for 4 with that), gas, mani/pedis, etc.

I balance our accounts when the statements come in. He looks at them.

Sticking to the subject here...if you have access to the account can you call into the back and get a transaction history, perhaps to double check a bill was paid???? and they let you know that this was a recent transaction and then you can ask him abou it? Is your bday or something special coming up that you can wait to ask about it, perhaps its a surprise? Either way $700 is a lot of money to go unnoticed and unaccounted for.

I would ask! If I withdrew that much, he'd want to know about it!

Why would you not be straight up with your husband about finances? I manage the money in my home...all of it. I wish my husband would be more involved, but should he have any concerns, I expect him to be straight with me and vice versa. Just because your husband has an account in his own name does not mean you are not entitled to view that account any time you please. Actually, financial fidelity is just as important as anything else in your marriage. Don't put money into a separate category. Further, according to CA law, half of the money is yours. So the state certainly recognizes your rights. You should as well.

Yikes. This is a tough one in that if you ask him, you are going to have to be ready for what may not be a very positive reaction from him. I say this because of his stance about the money being his and you guys not having a joint account. You are married, you have kids, you should have a joint account. If something were to happen to him, you would not be able to access any of the money until you went through legal steps. That's not right. I assume he is aware of everything YOU spend? You should have the same rights. Remember, you are married which means you are a team that needs to work together and be honest with each other. Good luck with this one. I sincerely hope it goes real well and you guys can get to a more open place about money.

Definitely ask him.

Ask! He left it on the computer...that's the only way you would see it. If there is no problem ...he won't be mad or react. If there is a problem..better you know now. JMHO from somewone who has been married 36 years..to the same person...(I deserve a medal for sure!..lol)....seriously..ask and get if off your mind.

Yes you have the right to ask, just tell him what happened, you saw the online banking because he didn't log out. You should have a joint checking, it is both of yours money. You have a job too taking care of the kids and the house, most times your job is harder! That's a lot of money and you shouldn't have to even think about it! Just ask...

If his money were your money you would have a joint account. If you are fine with separate accounts and being on an allowance system I would suggest you not bring up the $700 unless you are prepared to know what the money will be spent on good or bad.

You may want to take this opportunity also to re-evaluate the way you handle your finances as a wife in California stay home or not you should have access to the bank account because if he occurs dept it will also belong to you. As a wife I am sure you trust your husband but sometimes we need to be more money wise for emergencies.

What? You're a SAHM and you don't have a joint account? My DH and I both work and I'm the primary $$ earner, but I would NEVER consider not having a joint account with him -- especially if he was a SAHD. Most likely the $700 withdrawal was not for something insidious, but you need to talk about it asap. Since the statements were on your computer, there should be nothing fishy or "snoopy" about it. The longer you wait, the more it seems like you don't trust him (whether or not it's true is another matter). Talk to him about it soon! Best wishes.

what if you go to the atm, and "notice less $ than you thought? and then ask. I believe in honesty, but, sometimes it hurts less if there is a little fib.

Ummm -why don't you have a joint account? How do you get money when you need it? You're a SAHM, so his money IS your money -legally -and if he also says that, then you shouldn't feel like you're snooping by looking at bank statements. YES, you have a right and obligation to ask why he withdrew $700. That's a large and strange amount. I would sit down and have a talk with him, and it would include the fact that you two need to go get a joint account tomorrow. If either of you wants a savings account for yourselves that a predetermined amount goes in -fine.

yea you have the right to ask. i probably wouldn't. to me its one of those things that you file (to make sense of/ask about it when stuff doesn't add up at a later time).