Balancing Breastfeeding, Bottles and Pumping

Breastfeeding is hard work and everybody has a different experience with it. I nursed both my children and know how hard and frustrating it can be. If you choose to pump and feed you will probably want to get a good breast pump. There is a yahoo group called Pump Moms that is for mothers who pump, they would probably be able to provide some valuable insight.

Obviously breast is best, but there is nothing wrong with mixing breast and formula. There are lots of moms who just pump and give their babies bottles. You need to do whats best for you and your son. Best of luck to you!

M., I feel for you. It is hard to be a new mom. You worry about everything and how it will affect your child. When I was pregnant with my twins I thought that I would breastfeed them and all would go well. I was eager to breastfeed to save money and to give them all the benefits of breastmilk. My husband has allergies and I hoped that breastfeeding would help insulate them from that as well as other things you hear about. In the hospital when they were born everything seemed to go OK. The only problem was that they would fall asleep everytime I tried to feed them. When I got home with them, things didnt go so well. One of them was screaming and I would try to nurse but it didnt help. My husband, mother, and mother in law all stood there and said they thought he was hungry. I gave in and let him have a bottle. He was so hungry you could hear him gulp the formula. Then I felt guilty that it wasnt breastmilk and that I was starving my child. The other one had a few bottles in the hospital because his glucose levels kept fluctuating. I called the lactation consultant who told me to nurse each one for 20 minutes, pump for 20 minutes and supplement with formula. I called my pediatrician who really made me feel alot better. He told me that it was OK if the breastfeeding didnt work out. He had twins too many years prior. He told me they were born healthy and that the only thing that mattered was that they stayed that way. He also said that most of us were raised on formula and we all turned out OK. After that I tried to pump and give them at least one bottle of breastmilk a day. I would only get about 1 or 2 ounces every time I pumped. I only did that for a few weeks and then they were totally on formula. My milk never did really come in. I was never engorged or anything. I let myself feel really guilty at first but after I stopped being so hard on myself I felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders! My husband could help out more with the feedings at anytime and anywhere. My kids have grown up healthy. They have never had ear infections or anything like that. They say breastfed babies are smarter but my kids are smart enough. They do very well in school and they are very inquisitive. I tell you all this to say that if your health and well being are being affected by nursing then thats not good for your baby either. Your son will be OK with formula and you have nothing to feel guilty about if you choose to go that route. One of the best things you can give your son is a healthy, happy mommy! Good Luck!

The same thing happened to me with my now 3 year old son. I spent hundreds of dollars with the lactation consultants to no avail. I pumped and fed him for about 5 months before I gave up MY NEED for him to breastfeed. It was a very difficult decision for me, but in the end the best one for us.

I spent so much time pumping, supplementing, taking meds to increase my supply and such that, I had zero time to actually spend with him or my then 2 yr old daughter. I was literally JUST producing milk and doing the very basics of childcare. I could not enjoy my children.

I am sure you will receive responses from avid pro-breastfeeders urging you to continue. You have to do what is best for your family. For me...it was to formula feed and enjoy being a mother.

I struggled with producing and was pumping and supplementing and I decided to just go with formula. I think that the fact that you tried and gave your son breast milk is awesome but if you are frustrated and tired there is absolutely nothing wrong with going to just formula. You both may be happier in the long run by going that route. I only breast fed both of my children for 6 weeks and they are both healthy and developing just fine. I understand the importance of breast milk but I also feel that it's not for everyone. Good luck and whatever you decide will be the right choice for you and your baby!!

First of all, give yourself some credit for the work you have already- any amount of breast milk is good for your baby! You seem like a really concerned, wonderful mom.

After trying EVERYTHING I ended up pumping full time for my daughter. I did this for 6 months until a pending two week separation caused me to throw in the towel. Looking back on it, I am very proud of this achievement and I do feel that it helped my daughter stay healthy. HOWEVER- having done that I understand what a huge commitment it is. To be honest, there were times that I could have been holding my daughter but instead had to go pump and hand her off to someone else. I think you are right to consider the tradeoffs. Is there a chance you can pump 3 or 4 times a day and give her formula the rest of the feedings? This would still give her the benefit of the breast milk without killing you. Sure, your supply would gradually diminish and you would probably be done after a couple of months, but it might be a nice compromise and give your supply a chance to diminish gradually. Feel free to contact me individually if you want to talk pumping:) I know whatever you decide, your baby will be do great. Take Care!

The pressure to breastfeed is huge! That said, I was a bottle fed baby. I am a healthy, happy, productive member of society with a master's degree.
Both of my children were bottle fed. Nursing was not something I could wrap my head around. I need my space and my time. I know it. Both of my children are straight A students and are very healthy.
You need to do what is best for you. If nursing isn't working for you, then quit. I have a feeling that you don't quit things easily. Neither do I. But, sometimes, it's okay to quit. This might be one of those times.
Some people may try to make you feel bad because you don't want to nurse. They don't live your life or walk in your shoes. Do what YOU want to do.

I am sorry you are having such difficulty. The choice to do breast feeding or bottle is definatly something you have to do what feels right for you. There is no right choice given your situation. But I am responding on behalf of your little guy. Has he ever gone to a feeding clinic?? If he is truly having difficulty with uncoordinated suck/swallow and poor suction you may want to go this route. On a feeding team he would be assessed by a dev. pediatrician, nutritionist and speech language pathologist (looking specifically at how he sucks). They may recommend a specific bottle that will work best given his difficulty. During my fellowship I was able to observe a feeding team and it seems like this might be benificial for both of you. You are doing the best you can, but it sounds like your little man is just struggling. Please feel free to contact me if you have further questions. Good luck.

You are doing a great job. I would contact La Leche League and attend their meetings for moral support. You have worked so hard on your milk supply I would definitely keep giving breastmilk and I would not give formula unless it is medically necessary. Bottle feeding breast milk is vastly superior to formula feeding but if you can feed at the breast that is better still because you don't get the immunities transfer in the same way when you are using a bottle. When the baby is at the breast and needs you to make antibodies to something it tells your body to make and supply those in the milk. I just recently saw this list and thought it might encourage you to not give up. Here are the diseases that are more prevalent in babies who are fed formula rather than breastmilk in the first year of life. obesity, diabetes types 1 and2, hypertension, hyperlipedimia, elevated cholesterol, cancer, intestinal disease, allergy and asthma, and reduced cognitive development. Here is the list for the mom-breast, ovarian, and endometiral cancers, obesity, osteoporosis, diabetes type 2, CV disease, and increased incidence of metabolic syndrome later in life. I hope this helps.

Hi M.,

I was right in your shoes two years ago. We didn't do a frentomy, but we had weak suck issues, "failure to thrive", etc. Pumping.. lord I hope I never have to do that again... In retrospect, I am glad I hung in there as long as I could.

Do you ever use call-in lactation support lines? We had a great lactation support center which was my lifeline. We also got a special bottle designed to improve suck strength. It was called a Haberman. I can't recall when I started to just breast feed without pumping. But we managed to transition off the Haberman and pump to breast feeding. I think by that time we were also trying some solids. Also we always had to suppliment with some formula to make ends meet.

Ultimately, I had some good memories of breastfeeding that helped me to forget the early ordeal of pumping and bottle feeding... It's like baby boot camp, it's so freakin hard.

Hang in there.

M.

First of all, give yourself a LOT of credit for working so hard on this! I think it's easy to feel guilty about breastfeeding difficulties- but we've all been through them! Breastfeeding is so hard the first couple of months, and sometimes it just never gets easier.

Although breastfeeding is really good for babies, both nutritionally and emtionally, it shouldn't be a huge source of frustration and/or pain! If you're still feeling burnt out at 12 weeks, and nursing isn't a bonding experience (as it sounds- since he is having so much trouble latching), then definitely consider other options! Maybe pump just a couple of times a day, and supplement with formula? Or switch to formula altogether? I know plenty of people will give you guff about that, but they aren't you! (And nobody should judge a mom who's trying so hard to do something like this for her baby!) You know your son best, and you know a million other ways to bond with your baby. Bottle feeding can be a warm, sweet experience between you two as well. :)

A happy mama makes a happy baby! Take care of you too!

I'm sure a lot of moms are going to hate me for this, but to be honest, if you're stressed out and unhappy and you've already done this much to try and get your little man to breastfeed well, you have to take a step back and think about the alternative. the benefits of breastmilk are many and well-documented, but i really firmly believe that they are NOT worth stressing yourself out and facing exhaustion from everything you are doing. He's going to need much more than 2 or 3 ounces at a time very soon, and giving him formula is not a terrible alternative. Keep up a discourse with your pediatrician- if the baby is getting enough to eat and you're happy with breastfeeding, then by all means continue. but if you're to the point where it's much more painful and stressful than it needs to be for both you and him, it is perfectly fine to serve your son formula. any breastmilk is better than no breastmilk, but just keep in mind that at this point he really isn't going to suffer anything more than extremely miniscule, if ANY consequences. Trust your instincts and keep an eye on your exhaustion level. No matter what you do, you'll know it's in the best interest of not just your son, but you too.

Ultimately you have to do what's best for you. I pumped with my oldest for 30 minutes at a time and it was agonizing. If you are getting a sufficient amount to get him through his feedings I would cut it to 10 minutes. I pumped with my son because he couldn't figure out how to latch properly. After about 3 months I just couldn't do it anymore. Besides the time issue, it was just so painful. I had major issues with stopping. I felt so guilty. But at the time it's what I had to do to keep myself sane and said that I would try again next time. Unfortunately the next time was even worse and I wound up stopping after only 2 months...

Enough of my rambling.. the bottom line is, you need to do what's best for you.

Good luck to you and congratulations on your precious new soul!

K. - SAHM of 2 boys, 5 and 2

I feel your pain! I am a mother of 5 (I know - FIVE!!!) and I breastfed my first three but my last pregnancy were twins that did not want anything to do with my breasts. I had everyone in my family telling me to give them formula and they even had my husband go out and buy it. I pumped for as long as I could but I just wasn't a good pumper. I could only pump enough for one bottle. So, I decided to start mixing breastmilk & formula and then eventually I wasn't able to pump any milk so I had to switch to just formula. My advice would be to keep offering your breasts no matter what choice you decide. Maybe the baby just needs more practice. After I decided to pump, I feel like I made that decision for them & I wish I would have kept offering them my breasts. Just don't feel like you did anything wrong. Breast milk is best and you are a great mom for keeping up your milk supply for as long as you have. Keep up the good work! Good luck!

Don't let the pressures and the breastfed 'enthusiasts' freak you out. I'm sure many people of that community are very well intentioned, however, If your bably does not latch on- it does not make you inadequate as a Mother. Children thrive on to brilliant adulthood without being on the breast. I pumped for a while-2 months and moved on with great success to soy based formula. If you want to stay organic- investigate your local Whole Foods store. There is a wonderful array of natural & organic infant products out there. The fact that you are worried and reaching out indicates you are obviously a concerned, caring and devoted Mother- Don't let the so-called 'help' organizations make you feel less than that! Good luck!

Hi M.-

I hear you! I too had many challenges trying to provide my DS with breastmilk. He was born premature (29 wks) and I was pumping 12x day around 20 mins a session during the 6 weeks he was in the nicu to provide milk for him. Once he got home, we tried nursing--doing what you describe, nursing, EBM in bottle and then pumping (triple-feeding)--but I ended up getting mastitis and being hospitalized numerous times in just a few months. In the end managed to give him breastmilk for around 5 months, exclusively pumping most of the time. To be completely honest, it was a terribly difficult time though I felt I was doing something very very important for my DS, esp since he had such a rough start. In the end, I just could not keep it up, esp since I was going back to work.

So many of the women that have already responded have said (probably better than I can) what I feel--that while breastmilk is the best option, you, your baby and your relationship with your little one are not benefiting from the stress, exhaustion and frustration. As I have been told numerous times, ANY amount of breastmilk you are or were able to give to him is GREAT. And you need to find a balance that works for you in order to be the best mom you can to him in ALL ways.

I would just add that I found a list that really helped me think through my options, trouble shoot any difficulties and just plain get through the hard times--PumpMoms on yahoogroups. It's a community of moms who pump (either in conjunction with nursing or formula, or exclusively) and I found them very supportive w/o being judgmental and very knowledgeable.

Good luck!!
A.

First, I'd say see a speech / language pathologist about your precious little one. If he is having trouble feeding, a good SLP can address his needs which may at the same time address yours. You must be exhausted. You know breast is best but it is better for your baby to have a happy mom. What about mixing the two? This would give you a break, without completely losing your milk. When you find a good speech person and if they start to address some of your son's issues, you may be able to go back to nursing fully. It might sound funny to get a speech person for such a tiny baby but some speech people address feeding issues as well.

Good luck!

N.

I exclusively breastfeed my daughter, but it's easy for me--she had latching problems in the beginning, but caught on after two weeks. I work from home, so I rarely have to pump. I'm not trying to rub it in :) I'm just saying this because I can't imagine the stress you're going through to keep this up!

I think that you should go with your gut--if you want to continue breastfeeding, then try and rent a hospital grade pump to see if that will help, but if you're tired and stressed from it, then by all means, switch to formula. It's not rat poison :) My mom couldn't breastfeed me and I am allergy-free and have a great immune system.

I believe that a happy, stress-free mom is better for your baby than breastmilk.

What type of pump are you using? I was in the same position and ended up just pumping and feeding the baby the expressed milk. I pumped every 3-4 hours and was able to do it with my first son and daughter for 10 months and just recently stopped with my youngest who turned a year a week ago. I ask what kind of pump you are using cause I was able to make a full bottle in about 10 minutes. I used the Avent Isis.

Ugh! I feel for you. What's awesome about you is that you sound like a really caring, loving mom who just wants the best for her baby. However, I HATED pumping too. *But* I hung in there for a while until my little guy came around and was nursing just great. I would just give it a couple more weeks and see what happens. If he is still just not latching on then you have a decision to make. Either way, do not feel guilty because it sounds like you are doing everything you can. Ultimately, let your heart decide. What I must say is that I know plenty of brilliant, healthy children who either never breasfed or were combo fed. Best of Luck ((hugs)).

Hi! I wanted to take a moment to respond to this because your situation sounds exactly like what I went through, and I know how draining it can be! I have a beautiful baby boy and I was dead set on solely breastfeeding from the day I found out I was pregnant. I had some initial issues with the breastfeeding (cracked and bleeding nips, mastitis, clogged milk duct, etc. which made for a tough first week of motherhood) but got through those initial issues and my son was latching on perfectly with no pain. My problem was about 10 days after my delivery, I still didn't seem to be producing much milk. My son lost a lot of weight in his first week and so our pediatrician had me start supplementing until my milk supply got better, which made me so upset b/c I didn't want to have to introduce a bottle and formula feed. I then turned to a lactation consultant and I had rented a hospital grade breast pump (apparently the $300 Medela I had purchased wasn't hard core enough!) I was "power pumping" every hour for 4 days. I still couldn't get my milk supply up and ultimately became completely exhaused and depressed. I wasn't even able to enjoy my first month of motherhood because of being consumed with the breastfeeding issues. It got to the point where I was latching my son on both sides if I could, then giving him his bottle with the formula, and then I would pump. Ths routine became overwhelming and exhausting. I made the decision to stop breastfeeding and for me personally, it was right for us. I know that I could have kept up the routine that I was in, but it just didn't feel right. I am now soley feeding my son formula, and he is becoming such a bright and healthy, well-adjusted little boy. I have enjoyed being a mother so much more than I did when I was so sad, overwhelmed, exhausted, and depressed about the breastfeeding. Your own milk supply is the best for your baby and it is certainly precious, however you have to look at the big picture and determine what is best for your emotional health and sanity!! It is okay to decide to go the formula route and still have a super healthy baby. Once you stop feeling guilty about "giving up", (which I certainly did,) I think you will find motherhood to be more enjoyable. I wanted to breasfeed more than anything and for my first child, it just wasn't in the cards for me. However I am finally okay with this and my son and I are doing great!

You must be frustrated and worried. I am sorry to hear this. First, You are amazing and you are doing a great job, so just do not give up!! There is a wonderful book, "Breastfeeding Made Simple" that can help give you some tips and can certainly also just let you know that you're doing such an amazing thing for your baby.

Just remember, Breastfeeding is not as easy as we are all led to initially believe. Just because woman have been doing it for centuries...does not mean we are all "naturals". It takes work!

One thing that may help, just relax. Perhaps, stop "thinking" and start just "doing". Do what feels natural. A great latch is imperative to successful feeding and is also so much less painful to you! Prop yourself up on soft and comfy pillows, grab a soothing beverage, put on some amazing music and try to enjoy the experience. Be comfortable and be pampered. A happy momma makes for a happy baby.

It is hard for milk let-down if mom is upset and/or stressed out. This sounds so hypocritical in a way, because not being able to feed our babies is certainly due cause for being stressed out. I am just saying to try not being tense - I am in no way passing judgement. I know, first hand, how upsetting it is when we try "everything" and "nothing" seems to be working.

Breastfeeding is the best "gift" a mom can give to her baby. You are an incredible woman to continue, despite all the issues you described. There is nothing better than human milk, no matter what we are told about formulas. Now that you feel that you have a great supply of milk, just let everything else go and feed, feed, feed your baby. Practice makes perfect...

Our son needed a frenotomy, too. I feel proud that he nursed for over a year. Did your child just have this procedure? Perhaps he/she is just feeling things out with a "new" tongue...

Perhaps forgo bottle feeding and try breastfeeding exclusively, as this could be confusing to baby.

Rest assured, if baby is pooping enough during the day, he/she is getting enough breast milk! Do not count "wet" diapers...as who the heck knows these days, as our diapers are so darn absorbent it is hard to tell!!
Hang in there!!!!

Also, just because you have already had lactaction consultation visits, does not mean that you can not have any more. They are there to help and assist and would love to continue to support you in your efforts. Please just continue to ask for help. You deserve it and so does baby.

Good Luck!!

(I am in school to become a lactation consultant...so I am far from an expert, yet please feel free to contact me at ____@____.com if you have questions.)

I had to use a nipple shield for a few months until my son got established with the nursing. Some people warn against them saying that they will give the baby nipple confusion, but we had no problem switching from the nipple shield to the breast when the time came. They were a life-saver for me and made nursing so much easier. Without it I would have given up on the breastfeeding very early because of all our problems. Just make sure you get the correct size if you do try it. They are fairly cheap ($5 or $6) so I just always had clean ones everywhere--by the bed, in the kitchen, living room, car--wherever. We stopped using the nipple shield at about 6 months when he was very confident with the nursing and had the hang of things and never went back to it. I nursed until he was about 22 months. Some people also say that the nipple shield can limit your milk supply but it only helped to increase mine since I could nurse my son more often with less frustration. Hope that helps. Good luck and don't get down on yourself. It is hard of a lot of us.

I know what you are going through. My daughter and I were just not a match for breastfeeding but I wanted her to have the benefits of breast milk so I pumped every three hours for her for about 5 months or so. I was able to drastically increase my supply by using a hospital grade pump. I expressed enough milk to keep her exclusively on breast milk for the first six months and stored and froze enough milk to get her to almost a year with at least 2 bottles of breast milk per day. To simulate the closeness of breast feeding, I would swaddle her (so she couldn't "get away") and lay her on my lap and rocked with her while I pumped. Or I would put her in a small bassinett next to the table and coo and talk to her as I pumped or put her on the table strapped into her car seat or into her pack n play. there are lots of safe places you can put your child so that you can have the 15-20 minutes you need to express the milk. You'll find that having him close while you pump, and pumping frequently will increase your supply and you won't have to take as long to get the milk out with a little practice.

I can relate to you. My daughter had latching issues from birth so I pumped the entire 12 months (every 2 hours to be exact). She would hardly even take a bottle with breastmilk in it; therefore, when she was just a few months old I discussed with her ped about seeking other help. Her ped agreed and referred my daughter to occupational therapy. IT WORKED! I still pumped for her because she wouldn't latch, but the therapy helped with the issues of refusing the bottle and other issues with eating solids. My daughter is now 2 and eats anything in sight. Good Luck!

If your asking for a vote, I vote for breastmilk. This is so much better for your baby. Try to breastfeed at least for the first 6 months. You will have a healthier happier baby. Yes it is worth the effort.When your baby gets a bit older he may suck stronger and the problem wil be solved. Hang in there blessed mother. AF

We do all three for my daughter, and it is a pain. Finally, we allowed her to get rid of most of the pumped milk, and I do that for comfort. She takes forever nursing, but that was cut back a bit by adding a few formula bottles. I found I could take just a few minutes and express milk by hand and that helps relieve the pressure that builds up as the milk comes in.

My son was 5 weeks early when he was born (now healthy and almost 6) and I had trouble getting him to latch on. Instead of worrying about him latching on I just pumped for 11 months(that't when we found out I was pregnant with his sister)and bottle fed him the expressed milk. I was mainly just concerned with him getting the breast milk since it is better than formula any day and a lot easier on the monthly budjet as well. We fed him both expressed breast milk and at least 1 bottle of formula per day. Now he is almost 6 years old and is hardly ever sick.

Hopefully this helps.

L. S.

Hi Marleen,

Continue to breast feed. It is better if you can weather this frustration so you can have a feeling of accomplishment. Besides, it is cheaper in the long run. Formula is so expensive.

Good luck. Hope this helps. D.

"Precious milk supply" is just that precious! I would suggest breatfeed while you can and the milk is flowing. Pump if your going to be away from the baby and formula when and if the milk supply begins to slow down. Good luck to you and whatever you do, it will be for the best of YOUR baby and trust your instincts.

Three thoughts - one, my son fed really well and then after a few weeks I thought he was having trouble with suck/swallow. Guess what, it was oversupply! A very astute woman told me to try laying down and putting him on top, and I tell you, over the next few days things really worked out. I actually stopped pumping to reduce my supply, he was being flooded if fed in the upright position. So if your supply is up, try laying down :) Second, my son took 45 minutes a feeding, and that's just how he was. No problem, just liked to cuddle with Mama, take his time. It eventually got much quicker, but it took awhile. Third, if you can make it through this I think it will get much easier. Here's what I mean, when you breastfeed you always have food for your baby. I know more than one mom who's walked out of the house with the formula on the table and had a very unhappy baby. Anytime my son needs a snack, pick me up, calm time in an exciting world, whatever, he can get it from mom. It was hard for me in the beginning, but I'm glad I got through the tough part and can see how 'easy' it is now. If you're stressed and it's not working, make a decision that's best for your family and go with it, but think about trying a set time period (day, week, whatever) and see what happens before you stop completely. Maybe even keep a morning and bedtime nursing? Good luck! D.

A friend of mine had the same situation. There are nipple guards that are soft clear plastic to use (should be able to get them anywhere) that are placed over the nipple. Her son took to the nipple guard very well and she used them the whole 9 months that she breastfed him. Plus it helped her with the discomfort sometimes associated with breastfeeding. She even gave them to 2 other friends at their baby showers as part of their gifts.