Bad Day

I agree with everyone else's posts! Just because we do everything doesn't mean we don't deserve a break too! Im with ya!

I felt that way Friday. I ended up going off on them. I told them from now on if they make a mess, they are going to clean it up. I will help them if they need it only. I also am teaching them how to use this fancy washer.
I am tired of doing everything for everyone. They need to step up.

Correct answer to hubby would have been "After going to church, doing 2 loads of laundry and feeding everyone else I decided to watch a little tv while eating my lunch. Thanks for asking." It's totally normal to feel like you are doing everything while everyone else is not pitching in enough. Running a household is a lot of work and there's no one standing there telling you what a wonderful job you are doing. Nope all you hear is whining when things aren't up to their standards.

So hugs to you today. You are normal. We've all felt unappreciated.

You are not alone. Know what you're feeling is completely normal, but you do need to find time for a break. I remember the first time I got to the point you are today. My husband was "yapping" (:o) at me and dd was whining about something and I was trying to get dinner done, fold laundry, etc. I just looked at him as I was stirring spaghetti sauce and threw the spoon in the sink and yelled, "I'm out!" and walked out the door. I'll never forget the look on his face. I called ten minutes later from the movie theater parking lot to tell him I was going to the movies and would be home in a couple hours. His response, "you're going to the movies without me?" "Yep." "By yourself? What are you going to see?" "By MYSELF and I don't care what's playing. I'll see whatever movie is starting right now." It was THE BEST movie ever! I got my own popcorn, my own candy and a cherry coke. Heaven! Haha. Know you're normal. Good luck. Tomorrow will be much better, but don't feel bad about taking a break when you need one. We all deserve a little time off. :o)

Oh honey you are SO not alone!!!

This is the ugly side of being a SAHM, the side no one ever wants to talk about. We ALL go through it. Like many other jobs it can be boring, tedious and exhausting, and the "people you work with" can and do get on your nerves! And on top of that there is no escape, as least with a "regular" job you get time off, vacation, sick time, but no, not us :(

All you can do is make SURE you get a break, take some time for yourself every week. Get together with a girlfriend for a walk, a run, a workout, a cup of coffee (or even better, a glass of wine!) If your husband likes to be busy he can be busy with the kids.

I also designated Sunday night as "dad's night." My husband is in charge of dinner every Sunday. I do not have to think, shop or plan for it, it's his job. I cook all the meals around here, pack all the lunches and cover breakfast every day so for me to have one night off where I don't have to worry about yet another meal? Priceless.

And if you can afford a girl's weekend I highly recommend it, you would be surprised at how relaxed and recharged you can feel after just a few days off, no husband, no kids. And when you return they appreciate you SO much more (at least for a while!)

Hang in there, I hope you can find a balance. And if you ever feel like going back to work, go for it, don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it. I honestly regret NOT having returned to the workforce sooner, but that's a whole other thread :)

NO!!! You are so not alone in your thinking! I had one of these days today as a matter of fact. In my situation, my daughter is very demanding, and as much as I try to get her to play on her own, she ends up in the middle of what I'm doing. And it is a constant, Mom this, Mom that, I'm the only one that can do things for her. My hubby works hard for us, and I appreciate it, but at the same time, the 24/7 child attached to my side is wearing on my nerves. All I can suggest is on a day like you've described, tell your hubby & kids, "Mommy is taking a time out now", and leave the room. Go to another room in the house where you can have privacy or leave for an hour & treat yourself to a lunch you can sit and enjoy. I'm not gonna presume to know how much active parenting your husband is involved in, so I will tell you in my situation, it seems I have to push for time to myself & maybe it's the same for you? I still get overwhelmed, BUT, it's gotten better. I take one night a week to myself from 6pm. on. I usually stay home but am off limits to my little one while hubby takes over her care. Then on Saturday, I take 1/2 a day to myself & once a month I get a Mom's Day Out, ALL day. I had to push for this with my hubby, but now WE both do this. It's equal, he gets his time too. So... maybe you both need to have some time to yourselves as well as a date night once in awhile. Good luck to you, don't be so down on yourself, I think we're all in the same boat, although not all will admit it.

When my husband says things like that I answer "YUp I've been watching TV all day. Luckily some little elves did two loads of laundry, and cleaned the kitchen from breakfast. And thank goodness our daughters are so mature they took themselves to church and have been playing like little angels all day. Yup, my loving husband knows how hard I work during the week so today I'll probably watch TV for the rest of the day while my smart husband and daughters clean (add details) go grocery shopping, and cook dinner. What a great family"
Sometimes I tell people about my fantasy life. IN my fantasy I live in a small apartment that is always clean. The carpeting and furniture are all white to enhance the look of cleanliness. My youngest is there but he never makes a mess in this fantasy, just plays quietly or we read together. There is very soft music playing in the background, but it's Very very quiet in my fantasy. Remember our fantasies when we were young? Brad Pitt type fantasies, handsome princes or sexy rock stars? Now it's a simple dream, a clean and quiet place that I long for.....

I can't fantasize about my single days... I have never had one! But I do think about what my life could have been like if things were done differently.I do admit I sometimes get jealous of some of my single friends who are able to do so much and I can only dream of doing it.

I graduated High School at 5 months pregnant. I had my son 3 months before my 19th birthday. We didn't move out of my parents house until my son was 9 months old. My boyfriend lived us at my parents and into the apt. Then when we broke up 2 yrs later, my brother got home from the Service and moved in with me. Then when the guy I was dating decided to move in and us get married ( just found out I was pregnant again) my brother moved out. I was married for 5 years. Then divorce. I lived in a one bedroom apt with my 3 boys for two years before even dating... then found my husband now. Those two years ( I was 26 before I ever lived somewhere w/o another adult) We have been married for 5 years now and we have two kiddo's together.. making it a total of 5 kids.

There has been times I have gotten so fusterated that I have thought about just packing up and leaving and starting over. But I could never do that to my family! I would miss them WAY to much. But there are days that it sounds nice. At those times I have talked to my husband and made sure he is listening!! and let him know I can't handle it anymore, I NEED a break for me, myself and I!! I have gone twice to a hotel for a weekend. Shut my phone off and told him he had to handle it on his own. Left a list of everything that needed done that I was tired of doing by myself and told him and the kids that it needed to be done MY way ( there is a huge difference between thier way and my way).

The first time was 4 months after my grandma passed away and a month after my pops passed away. With the kids ( my daughter was only 8mo and my son was 1 1/2) and the house and everything I hadn't had a chance to grieve and everything around me snow balled and I couldn't mentally handle every day life anymore.

The second time was last winter. Again things were just getting to be too much for me and I couldnt handle everything that was throwen at me at once. I went and had a weekend with my aunt ( who was also having problems with her life). We had an awesome weekend full of window shopping, sitting in the hot tub and ALOT of tears, hugs and talking!

After both times of just stepping away and giving myself some time to think and sort things out with out kids fighting, pulling me in 5 different directions, hear mom, mom, mom, mom, mom all day, cooking, cleaning up after everyone... the daily work of a sahm, I was able to step back and think and get a break that I needed to be able to come back and be the mom/ wife my kids needed and deserved. I also told them that they couldn't call me at all unless it was an emergancy. After both times it was a huge wake up call on how much I did and they depended on me for everything. They do get better for a while... then it does all go back to the way it was but at the time it was what I needed. I felt guilty at first for leaving but afterwords it was what was best for all of us.

Dont feel guilty... everyone has been there at one point or another... or they will be!

No you are not the only one.

don't feel bad/guilty for venting! That is why we are here- to support one another on days just like the one you are (were) having!
I had to smile: I LOVE my family as well- I have a 3.5 yr old and a 1.5 yr old and currently prego with our 3rd "shock". :) My husband works 14 hr days and I work from home so I am literally with my boys 24/7 and feeling like a single parents. The boys are rarely up when he leaves for work and usually in bed when he gets home. There are days I want to just run out of the house and keep running!! LOL. But most of the time I appreciate that I can be with them all of the time and feel so bad that my husband is missing these important years of their life. But it can be VERY stressful. People will look at the kids, look at me and smile and say "I bet you can't remember life with out them". And I politely say: "Oh yes I can! I remember it everyday". Which is true- although I love them dearly and they are my responsibility to care for- I love what my life was like before I had children as well, and I realize that they will be grown so soon, and we will have that again. lol
But you HAVE to take 15 mins each day to do something JUST for you! Doesn't have to be lavish- just reading a chapter in a book, for me it is exercising, Facebook, or sitting with my feet up and a cup of tea in front of the fire. If your hubby finds it irritating do this while he is at work. Momma can't keep giving, giving, giving without replenishing herself! My hubby has also recently agreed that he is on kid duty each weekend one day while I get out of the house with out them. Even if I am doing the weekly shopping- it is ME time. Priorities have changed with the kids, so I can't be all about self, but I can find ways to make me happy in our normal daily routine. Just remember to breathe, smile, and take one day and moment at a time!

LOL - do not feel bad/guilty! I think every mom feels under appreciated at times. Is there any way you can set up a "you" day....husband takes the kids for the day and you do something for yourself (even if that is just staying at home doing nothing!)
I have a 7 and 4 year old and I can honestly say my 4 year old has never woken up without me being there and before that, I only went away one weekend with my husband and left my first with her grandma when she was 2, so she does not remember. My husband cannot say the same thing, as he goes away on business trips and also moved states a couple times for new jobs and left me a single parent for a month or two each time...
I have been thinking quite often that I need to take a weekend by myself with a girlfriend, just to get away!

You need some time for you. Tell hubby that X night is yours and that he is going to be responsible for the whole shebang that night. You will leave as soon as he gets home, he will fix dinner, clean up, bathe and do the bedtime routine, if he's not comfortable with that then it won't hurt the kids to go to bed one night without a bath, then he can do some chores for you.

You can take a class at a local jr. college, a craft class at a craft store like hobby lobby or Micheals. You can spend it at a movie, a mall, window shopping or buying out the store. It will be your guilt free time.

You will just have to take it. Just tell him in advance it is going to happen, which night, then be ready to go when he gets home, then leave. No guilt, no pleading, nothing works. He must let you have some time away from home. He gets to go to work each day and spend time that builds him up emotionally, gives him self worth, make his self image better, etc...you needs those things too. Take them.

I have those days too. I have started trying to get together with a girlfriend once in a while without the kids. It doesn't happen often, but it puts me in a better mood to plan a few hours with her.

Just chalk it up to a bad day. Everyone feels that way at one point, but not
everyone admits it. Tomorrow will be better.

No! Of course you aren't the only one silly girl! I've had these days plenty of times! I LOVE eating my meals in peace. I remember one day I had so many hands and so many mouths talking and touching me that I lost it. My husband looked over and I think he finally got the clue that mommy needed some quiet time to herself. He allowed me to take my lunch to my bedroom where I closed my door and watched TV in bliss for an hour. I think with me finally losing it the way I did he realized it was ok to let me have my quite moments throughtout the day and not question me on it. But my hubby is the same as yours, he's always doing SOMETHING, he is a work horse which has it's plusses but definitely it's minuses as well. I get what you are saying, it's hard some days and it sucks to be a grown up:)

This use to be a huge problem for my husband and I. He would complain that I didn't do enough and that the house wasn't clean enough. It didn't matter how clean the floors, living room, kitchen, and bathroom were, if the closets were not impeccable, I was a huge failure. He could not stand for me to be watching tv either. He dislikes the internet even more. I'm not proud of it. But I had to cut him down to size quite often by getting on a role and letting him know just what I think of his criticism. Sometimes we just have to give as good as we get.

Do not feel guilty. You are not alone.

I have had those days. I think that we all do

NO!!!! I feel that way too. I suffered from depression after my 2nd was born. I went in to m gyno and she said, women just do more. I am home and so is my husband. The kids don't want him to do anything for them. It has to be me, and it drives me crazy. I just sometimes tell them Daddy will get it or it will wait. I stay at home and NEVER have time to mself. It just sucks sometimes. I feel guilty for wanting to just leave. I gave up a career, and it would have been an awesome successful career. I would not be living where I am and I would not be doing what I do now. BUT I do love my girls and would do anything for them. I think it is just that we get overwhelmed and need to step back. I used to feel so guilty leaving my girls with their dad to go even to the store. I don't now! Hope you have an awesome week!!!!

I feel like that once every Blue Moon.
Im with you. You shouldnt feel bad were all human.

We all have those day!!! Don't feel bad!! if we don't feel sorry for ourselves who will lol!!!! Unfortunately I am like your husband and I drive my husband crazy. I do no know how I will ever retire, I can't stand sitting around it makes me crazy. Take a nice warm bath, have a glass of wine, and take an hour for yourself. Tell hubby he is on duty.