Babysitter Etiquette

From my experience, once girls hit past the age of 14 or 15, they are usually more into their social life and they are lost as babysitters forever.

And I agree, I would be mortified as a babysitter if I left dishes in the sink or talked on the phone, or watched tv or anything like that! Teens these days are sooo different, they usually just put on a movie and sit there.

Also, I was a hiring manager for a retail store in the mall a few years ago... you would be amazed at the teens I interviews. Half of them couldn't even get their names right on the application and couldn't answer a single question I asked, or form a coherent sentence. Terrifying.

I think you are being a little harsh on them. I remember babysitting from the age of 9 to about 14 and then I stopped until I was about 21 years old and married. A teenager is not going to want to babysit when they would rather hang with friends. I'm pretty shocked that you said you hate them. Maybe they get a weird feeling that you have such strong feelings towards them and so they are avoiding you?

One of my friends had the exact same problem as you. My daughter babysits for her now. I think you're right about the work ethic thing. I stopped babysitting when I got my drivers license because I was out with friends all the time and didn't want to be bothered on the weekends with babysitting but I had a job. I also told them no.

First thought - you pay A LOT of money!!! I'm a little surprised these girls don't want to sit for you when asked. Hell, even I would babysit for those wages!! Also, I completely agree with you about it being rude not calling you back. Seriously, how long does that take?? 2 minutes?? My second thought - they don't owe you anything, and they don't have to take a job unless they want to. So don't be harsh on them for that (the whole "don't kids want to work these days" attitude has got to go) But trust me, I am sooooo with you the returning a phone call bit. Irritating to say the least.

I have found that:

1) high school babysitters tend to leave me hanging
2) most of them do not have the skills necessary to handle an emergency
3) if I want to keep a great sitter, I have to use them regularly, even if just for an hour or 2 every other week -- as long as I keep some steady income flowing into their pockets, they seem to stick around & are willing to move things around for me

I wouldn't use them again--if they ever ask why, explain it to them up front. I don't have teens yet, but I would be quite upset with them if I were their mother, but at the same time, perhaps their moms don't even know that they NEVER replied.

If you see the mom again, I'd just mention that you're wondering if she has some suggestions for another babysitter, as it seems like her daughter doesn't really have time to do it anymore and wasn't getting back to you to accept or reject the job.

I HATE the babysitter search process!! Good luck!

My teenage babysitters are very responsive even though they often pass up the work because of their own schedules. I don't use sitters often either. I'm a big believer in making your wants and needs known. It builds stronger relationships vs. resentments and opens hearts to do better next time. Since they are your neighbors, i say error on the side of building the relationship, which means voicing your needs. It could be as simple as asking them both to bbsit, and requesting an answer by Wed. either way. Be adamant that you will need to make other arrangements so if they could let you know by ____. This way you are voicing your needs without directly confronting them about last week.

Sounds like your sitters are growing up and losing interest/need for babysitting. Its time for you to find new sitters--TODAY. There is a website that is very helpful in finding babysitters called sittersplace.com and also care.com Maybe you will find someone there? I agree with you that they should return the call and at least give you the courtesy of letting you know that they can't do it. I would find another sitter and if you happen to see them and they ask--you can tell them nicely that the last few times you have called you haven't gotten a response back. Also, that you are looking for sitters who are courteous and prompt in their response to you. I would move on and let it go....

M

I would not use them anymore. I teach high school, and when my kids were younger, my sitters were my students. I had excellent sitters who were thankful for work. They played with my kids, put them to bed on time, helped my kids clean up toys, and cleaned up the kitchen after meals.

Check with your friends and co-workers. See if they can recommend any sitters. Word of mouth is a great way to find sitters you can trust. I hope you find someone soon.

That is plain not right and rude on the sitter's part. Just like an RSVP.... You ask for a specific date. They owe you an answer in a reasonable time.

My 16 yr old is a regular sitter for about 4 families. As soon as she gets a text from a mom, she texts me to make sure the night is open before she commits. There are 2 moms who always email me and I text daughter making sure she's ok with it. Jobs are booked fast... Daughter makes good cash money and it helps her, especially this time of year.

I don't understand because it sounds like you pay well, children like the sitters. One thing I've stressed to daughter, never ever leave a dirty kitchen or dishes for mom coming home. It's ok if you don't know the proper storage, just leave then cleaned and ready to put away.

Sitters here get good $ if they are good sitters. My daughter usually takes a bag of things to do with all of them being mom approved ahead of time. Ex: gingerbread houses to decorate, mani.pedi, games, etc

I don't know about your sitters. My daughter is in cheer and a lot of AP classes which prevent her from having a regularly scheduled job other than school. Yes she has a bf but he her babysitting jobs are priority on weekends. Works out right now with him working retail late nights!

If I were you, I'd be frustrated too.

I see that i am rare. I would not be so hard on them. To say that you hate them is sad. I have two teens. I am sure that they would have called back, that aside... you do sound like they owe it to you to babysit. My girls dont owe anyone anything... just their mom :)

Sounds like these two girls don't really need the work. I would ask around for other sitters. When your leaving the messages I am assuming your leaving a message that says "please call me back either way so I can keep looking" right? Can you ask where you work for sitters? Might find a co-worker who can give you some names. I found girls at church also who were good babysitters. also if your local highschool has a child developement program the teacher in charge of that might be able to steer some girls your way.

I don't know, it IS rude not to call back, but I have a 16 year old who gets a good number of calls to babysit. Sometimes it takes a while to get a hold of me and all the details of her schedule to see if she can responsibly take the job. The amount of time she has to spend on homework baffles me, then her household chores, her part-time job and one activity....we rarely see her. She LOVES to babysit, but needs a social life, too. I can see being annoyed, but to be so angry seems out of line to me. Just line up new sitters as well, but don't write them off if they love your kids and your kids love them! (Though I'd be irritated by the lack of clean up, for sure! You pay too well!)

There are teens and adults out there that would welcome the work. Find some new sitters and blow these girls off just like they have done to you.

As for the sink full of dishes, etc., if you hire someone to work for an hourly wage, make it clear UP FRONT, IF/WHEn your children are sleeping, "here is list of things that need to be done. (i.e. dishes, folding cloths, dusting, misc housework) There is absolutely no reason you need to pay someone to sit on their backside, eat your food, watch your cable, play on your computer or theirs, and talk to their friends.

Like you when I was a teen babysitter and the kids were down, I cleaned up the kitchen, straighten up the house and still had plenty of time to listen to all the Johnny Mathis records and look a books that were not in my house. I did extra work so the people I was working for would ask me back and recommend me to their friends. I was never out of work!

Find some new sitters that actually have ethics, but do let them know what you want and expect.

Blessings....

yup, wouldn't take me long to get on sittercity.com and get you a couple more ppl. i've used two girls from there. i always have my nbr either check on them visually or a ctually come over to check on my son while i'm gone. but that's been the best way. keeps it professional, no hurt feelings or awkward interactions. that's just my two cents though. at present i don't have anyone either so i do KNOW how you feel - hate that feeling. i wish ya' luck momma!

I agree that the sitters I have don't always have the same etiquette as I do. Even as a kid, I knew that you washed up and didn't leave a mess for someone else. I have some sitters that spend a lot of good time with Kiddo, and so I sort of forgive it, and some that were terrible and we didn't hire again. (I don't believe showing my kid your iPhone for a half hour is necessarily babysitting.)

I try to make sure I have everyone's preferred method of getting a hold of them. Two sisters watch my son; one has an email address especially for babysitting, the other sort of has mom filter her schedule. That's fine with me, and I don't mind working that way because I know this is what works for their family.

If it were me, I'd start looking for other people, just so you have more options. I'd leave a note at both houses directly addressed to both girls; something general regarding needing more time in the near future and wanting to make sure you have the best way of getting a hold of them. Put your phone number and email in there (if you are comfortable with that) and then, let it rest for them. You can't try 100 times just because family members are flaky about writing down messages, or because they have a teenage attention span of a gnat, haha. It has to be easy enough or it doesn't work. I have tried to expand my pool so that if it works out, great, if not, there's someone else good to call.

My guess is that if the parents know about your enquiry calls and know their daughters aren't being responsive, perhaps they are letting their girls deal with the consequences of being noncommunicative. At some point, parents need to not try to bail out their kids for not bothering to call back. They made a poor impression and now they're going to have to learn that blowing people off has a price. So, do what you feel is right in your gut and look for some other people who are more reliable-- or at least more responsive.

I'd go to their house when I know they are home:) Ask them in person. They'll get the point, and YOU will get an answer!

I would call your neighbors and ask for names of other sitters.
When I was a teen the adult told me what to clean. I did exactly what she told me. I do agree they have no work ethic.

First of all...you say yourself that you don't use these two girls very often...so there is really no reason for them to change plans to accomodate you...if you used them on a regular basis then I could see expecting them to reserve the times that they KNOW you are going to be using them.
I think I might consider calling and talking to them personally...not leaving a message with Mom or on the phone...and I would ask them if they are still interested in the occassional baby sitting job. Tell them that you understand if they are too busy this time of year and if they don't have time, could they suggest others who might want to make a little extra money by babysitting.
They have lives of their own and I am sure that they have a lot of things with their family...with school and with their friends that make their holiday schedules just as busy as yours is.
What do you accomplish by "hating" them...you have simply lost 2 gals that you could normally rely on for the occassion baby sitting job...that your children like and that have not really done anything to deserve your negative feelings.

I would definitely not call them again. Who knows with this new generation. Social etiquette is all but a thing of the past. Glad you found other options!

My sisters are that way...by means of they need money, but won't watch my daughter for me. They are grown adults and have their own thing going on, but why would I give them money when I need a sitter and would have to pay someone something more. So I offer them the opportunity to watch my daughter when I have photography jobs and freely hand out money $20 at a time. Some jobs are done close by and I am gone for an hour and some jobs are all evening. I can pay anyone, but I thought it would be best to help my family out and keep her with her family. One sister said she has already raised her children and didn't need to watch other peoples children. I say move on and find someone with interest!

Sticky! I would probably say I wouldn't ever use them again...but in a pinch change my mind.

I am lucky, in that because my parents were late teens when I was born, most of their siblings didn't have kids until I was a teen. (Plus I have a sister who is 15 years younger than me)...so my sitters are family teens. As well as when I babysat it was for my cousins and siblings..so I had to do the dishes anyway!

I can think I can understand your frusteration but I'm sure because I haven't had to experience that it isn't the same.

Do you or your husband have co-workers with teens?

I think that people of all ages need to learn more social graces and consideration. I have the same problem with my daycare clients. At least half my clientele just come and go as they see fit and fail to call me or tell me when they won't be around. It's like they just think I have no reason what so ever to know when they are coming because I'm just here anyway, right?

I'm glad you decided to use sitter city. It should work better for you.

Well, if they don't get back to you, then obviously they have no need of money. I would definitely cross them off your list in the future....

Funny as I just got a voicemail from our teenage babysitter who we don't use very often either. She is very good about getting back to us, very respectful etc. Similar situation as yours - she's a neighbor, we know the parents some. I think it comes from the parents to a degree - these parents are very on top of things, focused on making sure their kids are hard working etc. And before we moved, we had the most amazing teenage sisters who sat for us some. They made me believe in the future of that generation again. So I think it's partly these girls. I do think if you don't use them a lot, urgency to get back to you is going to be less but they also seem rude IMO. Glad you're finding other options! I would definitely start cultivating other babysitter relationships. Like you, I'd hate to lower myself to ask these girls again!