Baby Wont Sleep - Elgin,IL

OK - there is no way you can say she can't nap during the day. She HAS to nap during the day. Unless you mean YOU can't nap to catch up on sleep - that's no fun, but perhaps you and your boy can snuggle and have "quiet time" together. I did that with mine and it was relaxing.

Get a baby swing and try that during the day and night. She may just need that. And try the baby carrier during the day. Perhaps if she has more physical contact, etc. during the day it will help her "reset" at night.

And she's also going through a growth spurt. Lots of babies have their sleep disrupted about this time. My son has never slept through the night.

You may want to try swaddling if you haven't already.

ETA - By the way, Aileene is referring to the Ferber method (not Gerber- that's a mis-type.) She's right - Dr. Ferber explains that babies need to learn to self-soothe. And the mom who mentioned swaddling has a good point - your child may not be too old to swaddle.

Original:
The mistake you made is allowing it to happen in the first place. You should have kept putting the baby down without doing more. Now she's upping the ante because she's used to it and she wants more.

Time to stop doing this. She won't like it. But you either do it or continue being a human pacifier, which she DOES NOT NEED.

Start putting her down after nursing her and she's full. Sit down in the floor and put your hand through the slats of the crib and touch her leg. Don't talk, don't pick her up, don't engage. Let her cry. She will know you are there, but you aren't going to give in to what she wants. She will finally fall asleep. Do it every night until she stops crying. If you give in ONCE, she will know that crying works and she'll do it even more. You need to be 100% consistent.

Your baby is not a newborn anymore. She doesn't need to be held all night and suck on you all night. You CAN let her cry. You need to let her learn to self-soothe.

Put her down during the day and let her nap. Your 2 year old needs to stay in his room for quiet time, whether he sleeps or not.

T., it really sounds like you let your children run your household. Maybe I'm wrong, but your 2 year old should not be dictating whether or not your baby naps. Time to toughen up, mom.

Good luck,
Dawn

We used Ferber, it worked for us.

Before you try it though, I would recommend that you re-charge your own sleep batteries so you have the fortitude to stick with the cry it out, because if you relent, it simply won't work.

Enlist a friend, a neighbor, hire a sitter, get your husband or your parents, or a reliable teen. Have them take both kids out for a 4+ hour stretch. You go straight to sleep. Do this day or night, till you recharge your own sleep bank. You'll be better able to address baby's self soothing once your nerves are settled.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Hi T.,

It is hard, but it is time for tough love. Nurse baby, burp her, then put her in crib drowsy from eatting but still awake. You can offer pacifier and if she really NEEDS to suck, she will. Than walk out and close the door. She might cry for a bit but she will get the picture.

Than take your two year old and tell him that it is quiet hour time. Put him in his bed with a couple of books and tell him he can "read" or sleep but he is not to get out of bed or bother you until your alarm goes off. Then go lay down yourself! If you don't want to do that, tell your two year old it is nap time and make him lay down with you. He isn't allowed to talk to you or make noise until the alarm goes off.

My almost 7 year old still gets a quiet hour while my 2 year old naps. Sometimes he (really does) reads the whole time other times he falls asleep. Either way, the down time is good for him.

Yesterday, he came into my room (I was reading on my bed) during quiet hour and asked if he could sleep with me. We both got a great nap until 2 year old woke up!

Hang tough, you are in charge! C.

PS I nursed until 18 months and you are right, you can't be a human pacifier. Tell hubby to offer baby his pinkie finger if baby wants to suck.

Do you have a cradle swing? My babies were never able to sleep in a still bassinet or crib, but they loved cradle swings (with the side-to-side motion). They make ones that plug in so you don't have to tear through batteries.

Actually, my 3rd baby slept in a swing from the time he was born until he was almost 8 mos.

She does need to nap during the day, even if your 2 yr old doesn't. Put her down for naps during the day, and use that time for your special time with your older child. She should still be taking at least 2 naps a day at her age, probably even 3.

My goodness, judgemental mommies: give this poster a break! Did NONE of you have a poor sleeper? Did none of you rock a fussy baby, or nurse one to sleep so you could at least get SOME sleep? Have none of you fretted over a hysterical 12 week old infant who is attempting to "accept" your CIO method?

T., I wish I had some magic advice, but I don't. Maybe a few things to try:
Hold her more during the day, and maybe she won't crave you at night.
Are you working? She may be cluster-nursing at night to make up for the missing you at daytime.
Co-sleeping can be safe, if you do it safely. Don't necessarily discount it as an option if it means you get some sleep.
You have hit a wall. You need to try and get a 3-4 hour nap this weekend, to hit your own "reset" button.
This too shall pass. I promise.
Swing-sleeping or carseat sleeping might work too. You can transition out of that when the time comes.
Don't forget that some babies still like to be swaddled at this age, and swaddled tight. If you aren't swaddling, you might try it.
And, yep, I'm gonna say it, bc I'm guessing there are mommies EVERYWHERE "secretly" going against the advice and putting their babies to sleep on their tummies. Mine all sleep/slept on their their tummies from day 1, and for the most part, slept deeper and more soundly. (Of course, that is until #5 was born, and he doesn't see sleep as a necessity for day or night...gggrrrr)
Make sure she is sleeping in the same place for all naps and bedtime, and don't use that room for any other activities, if possible. Also, darken the room.

Are you swaddling? Some people only do it for newborns, but I did it with mine for a long time. Swaddle her, then rock her to sleep, then try to lay her down onto a prewarmed blanket. The prewarmed blanket (your husband could put it in the dryer for a minute) keeps the cold sheet from waking her, and the swaddle keeps her arms and legs from falling all over the place when you lay her down. Even if she is strong enough to pull the swaddle apart in her sleep, it can help with the transfer. If she's too long to get her feet in the swaddle, you can still do the wrap around her arms to keep them from flailing as you transfer.

I'm also wondering if she is teething, since this is new and she also wants a pacifier constantly. Have you tried a little tylenol? If it's teeth, that may help.

In the meantime, for your own health, please give both kids to your husband for a few hours tomorrow afternoon so you can take a nap.

Moms of good-sleeping babie will never understand what it's like to have a child taht doesn't sleep. My first didn't like to sleep - thankfully my second was a great sleeper.

When I hired a babysitter from my daughter's daycare center I learned a trick that was amazing. babies like to be stroked, either on their back or thier forehead. Once you figure out which you child prefers it will put them to sleep like magic. My kids like their foreheads stroked (very gently, obviously) I'd get the room dark, put a pacifier in baby's mouth (they will eventually get used to one - try running under hot water to soften it) and softly stroke baby's forehead. (Make sure your hands aren't scratchy - lavender moisturizer should be soothing) That helped ALOT.

But I have to say I was so desperate for sleep (I was back to full time work by the 9th week) that I used to just bring baby into bed with me. I figure they did it for thousands of years - and I'm a light sleeper. It was the only thing that allowed me to survive through my oldest child's first year...

Good luck mama.

Maybe she is teething. Is she drooling a lot? Chewing on everything. you try givng her some ibuprofen or even those teething tablets and see if that helps. I agree with Penny on trying co-sleeping. I did with my oldest and am doing it with my 18 month old. Neither would sleep day or night. I am not a fan of CIO. My kids did Not eventually give in after 30 mins. They scream for hours to the point of hyperventilation. Maybe some are OK with that. I am not. And as Penny said co-sleeping can be done safely. you could also try snuggling up with your two year old during the day and see if you can get him to doze of with you. That worked for my older son when he was about that age. I feel your pain. Mine are not good sleepers and like Penny said if you have not experienced it you really don't understand.

Let her whine for more than a few seconds. Right now you put her down, she cries and you get her, right?

She has to learn to self soothe. You can't 'teach' her how to fall asleep. Look up the gerber method, they're the most popular. But basically the next time you put her down - watch a clock and wait 5 full minutes. She won't break, and neither will you.

I'll bet she quiets down within those 5 minutes. Good luck!
_________________________
duh - Ferber. And at that age we used either the swing or the "bouncy seat". But we basically put him down and walked out. Take a shower - by the time you're out of the shower, she'll be quiet and asleep.

And swaddling is a must! Since this is your first - let me go over a couple rules.
They won't break. Crying doesn't break them.
Before bed/nap have a routine. Doesn't matter what it is, but do it the same every time.
Fresh diaper before each sleep period.
Swaddle.
Binky.
Lay baby on back.
Close door and take shower.
Babies CAN nap for 2 hours straight, but WILL wake up about 1 hour mark, give or take as they transition to deeper sleep cycle. Until they are left alone to figure out how to do that, they will fuss.
As for sleeping through the night, don't even try until 6mos old. Before that they're too young.

Sounds like teething - we went through the same thing. It sounds like you are exclusively nursing so I recommend co-sleeping, just as the others have. It's how our ancestors did it and I think modern parenting practiced often get in the way of what nature intended. This doesn't mean you co-sleep forever. My son is 6 mos. and we transferred him to the pack n play by my bed and are now working on the crib in the nursery. This is literally the only way nursing mamas get any sleep - as long as there are no smokers in the household, no drinking and no pillows or blankets around baby, you will be ok. Your body will begin mirroring baby's sleep patterns so when she stirs, you can offer the breast immediately so she doesn't really wake up as much. Works wonders! Sleeping through the night is a developmental miles on much like walking, talking and potty readiness so be patient - no textbook will be able to speed up that process unfortunately. I also agree with trying a little ibuprofen for the teeth. My 3rd son was an early teether too. Oh and baby wearing saved me in the evenings especially multitasking with my other 2 kids - try it! Good luck and hang in there!

I agree with the poster who suggested the swing. They're great.

Stop letting her use you as a pacifier. If she is fed, and won't take a regular pacifier, put her in the swing and turn it on. Give her something to grab at with her hands, like a stuffed doggie. Put it on her chest.