My husband and I are trying to pick a date for our son's baptism. It seems that everyone that we must have there (i.e., grandparents, Godparents, etc) has something going on one day or another. We found a date that worked and just learned that my mom's sister will be in town that day and, of course, my mom wants to see her. Any other time she was in town, we would do a lunch at my house with everyone including many extended family members that we wouldn't necessarily invite to the baptism (not for any specific reason except that we kept it small with my daughter's baptism). So, my question is...would it be weird if we kept this date and just invited her sister and extended family members to the baptism and baptism lunch afterward? Like I said, we didn't have them at my daughter's so don't want it to be weird that we are having them at my son's. And, again, if my mom's sister wasn't in town we wouldn't invite them just to keep it simple. I'm sure I'm making this too complicated. I'll blame on hormones, lack of sleep, and getting ready to go back to work. :)
Oh, also these family members are not the same religion (didn't know if that mattered, but I didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable) so I also didn't know if it was inappropriate to only invite them to the lunch. Or invite them to both and let them know that they are welcome to just come to the lunch if they didn't want to go to the mass and baptism. Yep...making it too complicated.
Any thoughts are greatly appreciated!
Thanks so much for the responses! What a great help you all are! So, I let my mom know that we would do the baptism on the planned day and I will be sending invitations to her sister and our extended family. She's good with it, which does make me feel better. I'm sure it will be a fantastic day and all this stress will be for nothing at all. Thank you again.
That sounds like the best possible option.
At my youngest son's Baptism we had some family members that I had never even met before, and never even heard mention of. They had come on honeymoon from Norway, so when my FIL heard that they were in town, he invited them to come. It was a teeny bit awkward, but a nice memory to have additional and unexpected guests, and they were very gracious.
When you are planning a big event you pick the date that works for you.
Remember planning your wedding? You call around to banquet halls and take an open date and hope your family and friends can make it. Set the date for the baptisim, give everyone at least 2 weeks notice and move forward. Those who can make it will, those who can't won't. Don't stress about it. It's not your responsibility to make sure your Mom can see her sister or any other family member.
Why can't your mom see her either earlier or later? Or just invite your aunt without her whole entourage? Pick the date and go with it. Your never going to find one that works for everyone
We've done the same thing. The only thing that I think would be weird is if you never talk to them, nevere invite them over (ever) and now do so to get gifts. Since you always invite everyone for these visits, just do it again. You could say something on the invites, maybe a letter, if you just feel really weird about it, that Sue is in town so you have a double celebration lunch. My husband's family does not attend the actual baptism but comes to the dinners (and I hardly ever see them for regular visits or day to day. If anyone would like to attend the baptism, they can ask.
I suggest that you are over thinking this. Since you include this family when they're in town, include them now in the baptism. What religion they are shouldn't make a difference.
I am somewhat confused about inviting only certain people to a baptism. It's been my experience that anyone can attend. Perhaps you're thinking of the events after the baptism. Are you concerned that other family members will be hurt that they weren't invited? chuckle there I go over thinking. I suggest that if other family members don't live in town they will understand. But if they live in town they will want to be included in time with your mother's sister. Yes, I'd include the extended family members in the baptism and lunch afterwards. What you suggested sounds good to me.
I agree with ReverendRuby!
If your mom wants to see her sister, she should arrange for it another time. I don't see why it should change your baptism plans. In our church, we could request a month, but it was really up to the pastor what dates he or she had available, so it's not like YOU usually have total control, either. I'd pick it and say "we'd love to see you" and see who shows. Tell your mom it's nothing personal, but you have limited dates and had to choose one.
Not everyone I invited is the same religion we are. They came if they wanted to or didn't if they didn't want to, and all were welcome to our home for the lunch. I'd just invite them to all and make it their choice to come or not.
I would stick with the date you came up with. It is going to be hard (or impossible) to find a date that works for everyone. Invite your mom and her sister to the baptism and lunch and hope they can come. And if you are fine with it, you can invite the extended family too.
FYI - people of other religions are welcome at a baptism ceremony. Some people feel less comfortable than others, so it is always appropriate to give them the option of attending the church ceremony or joining you after to celebrate.
I think you pick the date and let people know. Then if they can't come it's not on you. They could make different plans. This way you can know what's more important to them.
