My 1st and 2nd children were 10 years apart. I had saved almost everything in the attic so I had many things and really did not need to update too much. Even my initial stash of clothing that I used for my daugther were gender neutral and could be used for the son we knew we were having.
I declined a shower cause I thought it was asking. The girls at work did one anyways.
They ended up doing a nice luncheon for about 12 people. I got lots of nice boys clothing in the next sizing up that was needed.
I think focusing on the gathering and the celebration of having a the new baby is great with a disclaimer of no gifts needed.
I have had people having a new baby request cloth diapers. A person will have 3 made in selected fibers, the next maybe 3 or 6, some have bought 12 or a silk sling. Before you know it the new mom had an entire years worth of cloth diapers that were preselected colors or prints and they helped her build an entire 1st two stashes.
Practical gifting of cloth nursing pads, slings, wipes, diapers are gifts that last for a very long time and keep gifting over and over and can be re-gifted to others when your done or put away for another baby.
Just tossing out an idea or two.
Congrats and good luck with your newest arrival.