Baby Items? - Manahawkin,NJ

Updated on March 18, 2014
R.S. asks from Manahawkin, NJ
7 answers

Hello am hoping someone can point me in the right direction my 16 year old is pregnant and has nothing as far as baby stuff can anyone let me know of anywhere that can help her?

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

R.,

Aren't you the same R. who needed help with your utility bills and presents for your kids at Christmas?

First, as her mother - you can help her. It's a tad late to teach her about birth control, so now you need to prepare her for life. How is she going to finish school with a baby? Who is going to take care of the baby so she can finish school??

Once those questions are answered, and she has decided to keep the baby and has arranged day care for the baby so she can continue with school, I would go to:

garage sales
consignment shops
freecycle
craigslist
Catholic Charities

Find out what the baby's father is going to do. Find out what his family is going to do. don't rush out and buy anything.

If you can't afford to help her and the baby's father can't afford to help her, then she'll have to contact social services and find out what entitlement programs she can take advantage of. This is real life. There are consequences for her decisions...hope she makes the right one! There are many couples out there who can afford to take care of a baby and have the love (not saying your daughter doesn't love the baby already, but sometimes, one has to acknowledge they are in over their head....these same couples have a lot of love to give as well.

Good luck!

5 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Freecycle, yard sales children's resale/consignment shops. Check for product recalls on safety items like car seats and strollers - usually the resale shops are careful about this but yard sales and CraigsList, not so much. Babies outgrow clothing so fast, most of what you find in resale shops is in really great shape.

Also help your daughter to prioritize what she NEEDS vs. what she WANTS. She absolutely needs a car seat to take the baby home from the hospital, but she doesn't need a lot of clothing or toys especially in the beginning. A newborn doesn't need a crib or shoes, for example. Help her to separate what is a necessity from what is a luxury.

Make sure she is not focusing on all the cute stuff and is more focused on her health and getting prepared for parenthood. Unless she's due to deliver in the next 6 weeks, she needs to completely focus on learning parenting skills, infant development, prenatal health care and so on. Too often, teens focus on the "stuff" and not on the "substance." Their brains are not fully developed, particularly in the part of the brain that deals with consequences and planning, so she needs the most help there. You're going to have to take the lead there because she just isn't capable - her brain won't be finished developing until age 24 or 25, so you will need patience and persistence.

There are great books in the public library and every library has a lending arrangement with other libraries in the same system (so she should not spend money on books she doesn't need to keep). Enroll her in a prenatal class, a parenting class (basic first aid, how to change a baby, and so on) - and some of them have great accessories like those dolls that cry and need changing and so on, so the teens can practice dealing with a baby who cries and you don't always know what the problem is. It's a pain but they might as well get used to it! It really saves aggravation down the line!

Sometimes your town's department of Family Services has classes, but they can also make great referrals. Use all the free services available to you and to her to get her the counseling and preparation that will help her be a good parent. They can also help with a budget which helps teens (and others) see what's feasible in terms of holding a job vs. daycare, how to allocate money for formula (which may encourage her to breastfeed), what it costs for apartment/electric/heat, and so on. She'll realize she can't have expensive cable TV and lots of cute toys - the sooner that happens in her pregnancy, the better.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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A.A.

answers from Tulsa on

Look for consignment sales in your area, you can get gently used clothes and baby gear for a fraction of the price.

1 mom found this helpful

D.D.

answers from New York on

Do you have any friends or family members who can give her used baby equipment? My daughters got a ton of used stuff from friends who were more than happy to have the stuff out of the attic and be put to good use. Freecycle is a good way to get used stuff too. Also if you are a member of a church you can talk to the minister and see if there's help available.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

She should start with the local WIC office. They will make sure she gets off to a healthy start, and they often know about other community resources.

Otherwise: Not free, but very inexpensive: Goodwill, Salvation Army, and other local thrift stores. I don't know when she is due, but spring is coming, and all summer people will be selling baby stuff at yard sales also.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Call St. Vincent DePaul they might help point you in the right direction. Pregnancy option centers might also be able to direct her. If she is 16 she will also qualify for help thru public aid etc. Call your local township office. your local church. I will assume since your looking for stuff your planning that she keep the baby. Good luck to you and your daughter.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Freecycle and Criag's List.

1 mom found this helpful
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