Attending Catholic Church--Daughter Baptized Presbyterian

Updated on January 19, 2010
L.G. asks from Chicago, IL
25 answers

OK, I'm not one to get hung up on which specific religion anyone is raised. My main point of attending any church is to honor the lord and teach my children about God. I want to hear an inspiring sermon and I don't have a preference as to where I hear it.

With that said, my husband is Catholic and has loyally practiced his faith more than I have. He has been wonderful at encouraging us to attend church consistently and although he doesn't demand it, he wants to attend Catholic church and raise our youngest daughter Catholic. Fine by me.

I had my oldest daughter (from a previous marriage) baptized Presbyterian. She is 9 years old and I have failed at taking her to church consistently and attending Sunday School. I know, I know---please don't judge, I have enough guilt.

Will the Catholic church allow my oldest daughter to attend Catechism? I am assuming the child must be baptized Catholic to attend Catchism. I feel like she is behind in her religious knowledge and sitting in Sunday mass isn't helping. I know its MY responsibility to teach her about God but honestly, I need some help myself :)
There is children's liturgy at church during Sunday mass but that will only provide her with a few months of classes until its no longer available for her.

Bottom line, we are attending Catholic Church and I feel I need some resources to help my oldest daughter learn more about the Lord.

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So What Happened?

Looks like I am off to talk with the Director of Religious Education at the church and go from there.
Hopefully my daughter can attend Catechism without a problem with her being Presbyterian and not converting. We'll see.

Hubby seems to prefer to keep consistency in the family so for now, that looks like Catholic church and just the Catholic church BUT it sounds like (based on some of your replies) that my being of a different faith may be a good thing for my daughter as she can experience different views. I'm not convinced that one faith is the ONLY faith so converting my daughter or myself is not part of my plan right now. No offense devote Catholics :) Open minds.

As for the "guilt" I mentioned, it isn't consuming me, I just wanted tto make it clear I wasn't proud of not making religion a priority in my child's life. When you put out a question on religion, people can get pretty passionate and the judgements can kick in. Thanks for your wonderful support!!

More Answers

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R.B.

answers from College Station on

I converted to Catholicism as an adult, after growing up Methodist, and first of all, I did not have to be re-baptized before I could be confirmed and receive Holy Communion. Secondly, because no one else in my family, not even my husband (though he has since also converted), was Catholic at the time, we had our oldest two children baptized by my father, a Methodist minister. My oldest, now 7, is getting ready to take receive First Communion this spring. He did not have to be re-baptized, either. As long as a person receives a trinitarian baptism (done in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), the Catholic Church recognizes that person as a Christian.

I would recommend getting your daughter(s) enrolled in religious education classes soon. In our parish, a child must attend RE classes for two years before receiving First Communion. But even if she hadn't been baptized, she could still attend RE classes. I teach a 3rd grade RE class in our parish, and we have a little boy whose family does not attend any church, but he asked his neighbors if he could attend RE and Mass with them every week, so that mom enrolled her son's friend along with her son in the class.

Similarly, you can attend RCIA classes without ever committing to being confirmed at the end of the classes. Even if you are not yet sure you want to become Catholic, you can still attend the classes as a way to learn more about the Catholic faith, at the very least in order to help you teach your daughter about it.

Finally, I wanted to share a website I use regularly to facilitate my children's (really, just my oldest one at this point) learning during Mass. Since my son's attention is sometimes lagging during Mass, I often print off materials for him to work on during Mass from this website: http://new.catholicmom.com/category/sundays-gospel/. If you click on the 'more' link under a given Sunday, you will find the readings for the day, a worksheet, coloring pages, a crossword puzzle, and a word search. I especially like the readings and the worksheet.

May God bless you during your journey of faith, and that of your children. It is beautiful, indeed, to watch our children grow in their faith in God.

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H.H.

answers from Houston on

Since she is already baptized Christian, she would not need to be baptized in the Catholic church in order to attend CCE/Catechism. Talk to the priest at your church or the person in charge of religious education there. She can't attend catechism if she is to "remain Presbyterian", but if you're interested in her being Catholic, then it won't be a problem for her to attend CCE.

Good luck and good for you for trying to give your children religion and education!

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D.

answers from Houston on

Hi L.,
Catholics believe in only one baptism and will recognize her as baptized already.

I would advise you to look in the church bulletin for contact information regarding that parish Rite of Christian Initiation (RCIA) program and explain your family's circumstances. They will likely invite you to an "inquiry" night which is simply a time to gather with others to ask questions and learn more about the Catholic faith. I recommend you do this first as opposed to just enrolling your daughter in CCE. I feel that you should be aware of the whole process your daughter will need to go through and what she will be taught and perhaps you would like to do that as a family.

Becoming a full member of the Catholic Church takes some time and there is a formation process for each of the sacraments of baptism, reconciliation, first Holy Communion, confirmation and Holy Matrimony or Holy Orders.

Since your husband is a practicing Catholic perhaps he would attend inquiry with you and go through the process too as a sponsor. He would probably learn a lot as well.

What an exciting time for you. My husband went through RCIA several years ago. It was so educational for all of us and brought us together as a family. God Bless you on your journey.

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K.A.

answers from Houston on

Have you talked with the priest of your church? I would start there. There are many people who feel the way you do, ie, lacking in religion. As far as your daughter she is young and will pick up what she needs to know in classes. I just think that you should talk with your priest and ask him what she should do. Church officials aren't there to tear you down because your daughter didn't do this or that. They should help you and if they don't, you don't belong in that church in my opinion. Good luck.

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A.S.

answers from San Antonio on

The good news is that the Baptism is the only sacrament that is universal, this means the Catholic Church recognizes baptism regardless of what religion. Having said thay, the religious education classes for the kids are very basic and she should not feel overwhelmed going into them now. The hardest part will be learning all the prayers, there are great books specially for children that can be found at any Catholic store. AS far as yourselk there should also be an RCIA(religion classes for adults) that you can attend to learn more about Catholicism and determine whether you would like to convert. Good Luck, and keep the faith!

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

L.,
Others have already answered your question, but I wanted to touch on your obvious guilt for not raising your daughter (consistently) in church. You were even worried that people would judge you (and maybe bash you) for being lax in this area.

I went to church every time the doors were open growing up, went to Bible college, and have worked in a number of churches. Currently we drive 85 miles ONE WAY to go to church. But church isn't the most important thing...it's having a personal relationship with God. It's loving God, and loving others. If you love God you will do what he directs you to do. If you love God you will read the Bible so you can know Him more through His Word. and if you love God you will want to spend time with others who do as well, which is where church comes in.

I'm glad that you are getting your children in church, but don't loose focus from Who it's all about.

Please feel free to PM me about anything!

S.

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

Hi L.,
Congratulations! That is a big decision. I would contact the Religious Education Director at the church. Your daughter will not need to be baptized again. You may want her to attend confirmation/Religious Education classes. You should think of attending them as well. They are wonderful and you will learn so much about Catholicism.
God bless,
C.

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A.S.

answers from Houston on

Since I work with the Religious Education program at our Catholic parish, I'm in a pretty good position to answer. Most of the responders have been accurate in saying the Catholic Church recognizes any trinitarian baptism. I was baptised Presbyterian and had no issues when I converted at the age of 30.

As far as religious education goes, she has missed First Communion (and in most parishes, first reconciliation). Most churches have a program to catch these students up.

Speak with the DRE (director of religious education) or the elementary faith formation director to find out what options are available for your daughter and the rest of your family.

If children's liturgy is like it is at our parish, it doesn't substitute for religious education. Some parishes have a school year program that meets on Sunday or on a weekday afternoon; others have a summer program (similar to Vacation Bible School in Protestant churches). Check these out, too.

Congratulations on wanting the best for your children.

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K.Z.

answers from Houston on

Hi, I was raised Catholic & parents still are active. I have been Luthern and now declare myself a Christian, a child of God. Due to my work schedule, I attend a couple churches , 1 a nondenominal Christian based & 1 Baptist, and even went to a Catholic Mass with my parents over Christmas. My point, God has not struck me with lightening for doing so. Words cannot describe how much deeper & knowledgeable my relationship with God has become. If your family has found a Church that instills the word of God, then go for it. Ask what programs are available.
My sister-in-law sent me an email about 2 months how the Catholic Church is really working to bring back and increase their congregations. I would think that they would welcome your Daughter.
Bless you all!!!

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P.B.

answers from Houston on

I'm not Catholic, but if you're interested in furthering your knowledge of God and His word, BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) has evening classes for Moms and school age children. They also have men's classes which meet on a different night. It's an in-depth, non-denominational study. Since you didn't say where you are from, I can't tell you any specifics, but if you're near The Woodlands, the class meets on Monday evenings at First Baptist church on Grogan's Mill. On the first Monday of the month you can visit, see if you like it and join. They meet for 2 hours. If your location is different, and you're interested, I can find out where, if I know where you are. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, you can only do something about TODAY. Praise God that He's ignited the flame!!!!

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A.B.

answers from Houston on

L., I didn't read all the posts so I may be duplicating. Here is my experience. My mom married into a devout Catholic family. We were attending the Lutheran Church and that is were I had been baptized and received first communion. Once my sister was born my mom and step-dad felt it was important to have family unity with our religion. My mother and I both converted (I think I was 9 or 10 when I started the classes). I then attended CCE classes, and received all remaining sacraments. I was married in the church and plan to raise my children there as well. DH and I are not devout and although I agree more with you about it being a chance to raise your children to the Lord, it is important to us to at least "belong" to the church.

Going as a family growing up was very important and I learned a lot about other religions through friends and other family members. Being the "step-child" was difficult enough (My step dad never treated me as such, but I knew), so had my mom and I continued to practice a different religion, I think it might have made things even more separate.

Good Luck with your decision.

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S.C.

answers from Houston on

lol, yes the catholics are huge on baptizing everyone, and will have no problem re-baptising your 9 yr old and allowing her to attend classes.
There will likely be certain expenses and comittments expected of you though, so be prepared for that.

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S.M.

answers from Austin on

Good for you! Please talk to the Director of Religious Education (DRE) at your parish or to the pastor, they will help you figure this out. She will not have to be rebaptized, but she will need to attend classes for children who are entering the church at her age. These classes would actually be good for you as well, so that you can learn together. Good luck with this and God bless you and your family.

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S.D.

answers from Houston on

Good for you and her! You can call the parish office and ask to speak with the RCIA administrator. They can get you set up and she will go to the RCIA classes until she is caught up and then probably go to the regular CCE classes. No big deal and forget about your guilt; at least you are trying to show her that God is alive and well in our hearts.

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

Hi L., I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school so here is my insight on the subject. You should talk to the priest because I think she will need a Catholic baptism as well as her 1st Communion before she gets confirmed, as these are the order of the Sacrements. The church should be elated and very helpful in bringing in a new member. This is not that uncommon and they should be able to help direct your family through the process. With that being said, I am no longer a practicing Catholic but comend you for introducing your daughter to an other Spiritual Path. You are giving her the tools to make decisions later in life and the more exposure to God and different beliefs the more respect she will have toward them as an adult. Pat yourself on the back and let the guilt go :)

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

Hi L.,

No need for guilt. Most of us have been through not going to church. That makes us better when we come back. God is a very forgiving God and He stays with us through it all waiting patiently. Your daughter was baptized in the Trinity, so she can go to Religious Education classes and First Communion classes in the Catholic Church to prepare her for First Eucharist. All you have to do is call the church office and they should put you in touch with the right person. You need her baptismal certificate to enroll her in First Communion classes. We go to Prince of Peace in Houston. Congrats on making the decision to open your daughter's heart to God. We also have adult classes you can attend to learn more about the Catholic Faith.

Peace,
C.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I grew-up Catholic, went through Confirmation, and have been to a Catholic church only a few times since then. It was never a comfortable place for me. My husband grew-up Baptist, and the religions are COMPLETE polar opposites in regard to baptism.

My recommendation would be to schedule a time to speak with a priest if it's important to you to see what it would take to convert. I know several people who have in order to get married (including my mother).

My personal feeling towards religion is that it's a very personal journey that we each need to experience individually. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I became much more spiritual, but my husband's faith was really compromised. Is this something your daughter wants? I think it's great to expose her to as many different religions and individual churches as possible until she finds one she is comfortable within.

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D.C.

answers from College Station on

I don't think you have any worries. Any specific questions should be directed to your parish priest. The staff at the church office can be very helpful getting you the information you need. My latest information is that the Catholic church will recognize any Christian faith baptism. There will be some paperwork as the parish where a person was baptized becomes the "home" parish in that all records of sacramental completion is filed there.

So, for instance, when I married, a record of the event was recorded at the church where I had been baptized _and_ recorded at the church where my husband had been baptized. LOL :)

I was raised in a Catholic home, visited other Christian faiths during college, married a Catholic and have three boys. Whew! I tell you I don't know _everything_! My oldest went through the sacraments of First Holy Communion (First Eucharist) and I wasn't very involved.

When it was time for my second son to go through the training, this church (parish) asked for parent involvement. I didn't realize how much I didn't know!!! It was a big eye opener and big lesson for me personally. Our very enthusiastic teacher had converted to Catholic and was very good with all the information and lessons. I learned quite a lot.

Good luck and don't hesitate to send me a personal message.
D.

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S.R.

answers from Odessa on

If you and your daughter are changing denominations, it might be helpful if you would visit with the priest and have him to give you some guidelines about how to proceed. It may be that you and your daughter can go through the classes together that would provide some meaningful instruction for both of you and it would be special that you all are doing it together and help her feel less unsettled.

Denominations are the way that we divide things up - I believe God will be pleased that you are seeking to know more about him no matter which avenue (church) you opt use.

BE BLESSED!

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L.C.

answers from Houston on

The Catholic church recognized all baptisms. You can only be baptized once. If she wants to make the other sacraments, though, she will need to attend Sunday school.

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W.L.

answers from Houston on

I'm not completely up-to-speed with the Catholic church, so you'll have to ask the church leaders at your particular location. Typically, it is not necessary for a person to be baptized within each and every different church denomination that they may attend in their lifetime. Because each church body has different requirements for how a baptism is performed, they may want her to be baptized in the Catholic church/ceremony. Just because she was baptised Presbyterian doesn't mean she can only be Presbyterian, or is branded a Presbyterian for the rest of her life. Some people choose to be baptised in the new church for the symbolism of the change... even though it's not required, not does it "erase" or replace the first baptismal ceremony.

It's awesome that you are helping her get closer to the Lord, as you say. Don't beat yourself up... all three of my kids have attended private Christian school from grade K through 8th grade, were baptised and confirmed, and as disappointing as it is to me, they are not close to the church as they have gotten older and on their own. I pray for them, know in my heart that I gave them what they needed, and now it's their turn to embrace it as adults. Just keep gently prodding, and being a good example to her.

Good Luck to you and your family!!

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R.T.

answers from San Antonio on

Speak to the priest at the church you're attending. There are religion classes, youth groups, bible-study, lots of faith-based organizations that you can learn from and commune with through the church. Be forthright and honest with your priest, deacon, whoever, as catholics we do not judge and they will point in the right direction. God bless and good luck!

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M.G.

answers from San Antonio on

The BEST resource to teach your daughter about the Lord is to read the Bible with her. Unfortunately there are a lot of Churches that have removed this aspect and just rely on sermons, but there is no better to way to learn about the Lord.

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

To my understanding, as long as your family is a member of the parish, they will let your children attend RE. She may have to do some other things before receiving the sacraments. Since she is 9 she is past the age of normal first reconciliation and eucharist.

The best thing to do is meet with the priest and RE director. They can give you the answers you need.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

Set up an appointment with a Father. Get the real answers to these questions. The Catholic religion has ways of doing things. From what I understand (Grandmother,father raised Catholic) they do not consider your daughter actually baptized unless it is threw the Catholic religion. Its wonderful that your husband feels strongly about his familys religion. Even better that your supporting him. Great job momma!

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