At My Wits End with Bedtime!

get on the internet and watch old episodes of Nanny911 and supernany, They have addressed that problem oodles of times.

Good Luck

Move bedtime up to 7:30 and do the 'return him to bed' thing, saying only "Bed time now" or "time to sleep" the first few times then say nothing the next 20 kazillion times. Tag team him....you the first time, dad the next...hydrate, meditate, get Zen during your "off" turn! Repeat for 2-4 days. Good luck! He def sounds over tired to me, too.

You need the Super Nanny trick! And I can tell you from experience it works. When your son comes out the first time you announce it's time for bed, turn him around and put him back in bed and walk out. When he comes back out you don't say a word, just turn him around and put him back in bed and walk out. You may have to repeat this many times but it does eventually work because he won't be getting what he wants which is attention instead of going to bed. The trick is you can not respond to anything he says or is telling you about. I forgot to add-it took about 2 weeks total before my son decided it just wasn't worth getting up anymore. But he got up less and less during that 2 weeks so I could see it was working.

And you are right-he is clearly showing signs of being over-tired. Use a consistent bedtime routine that he can depend on while you are using the SN trick. You don't say what time you put them to bed but it should be around 8 at the latest.

Under no circumstances should his door be locked. It is an unsafe move to say the least in the event of an emergency.

Also, they make wake-up clocks that you can set. When you want him to get up say, 7 am, you can set the clock to move from showing a nighttime scene to showing a daytime scene. You can tell him it's not time to get up until the sun shows on his clock. Worked great for a friend of mine! I think they are around $35.

Are they napping?
They seem real over-tired.
Over-tired kids actually do not sleep well, nor go to bed well, nor stay asleep well... it actually makes some kids more "hyper" but because they are tired.

Also, start your bedtime "routine" earlier... so things don't get so drawn out.
Make everything DARK, quiet, turn things off, only leave 1 light on... no playing, let them un-wind first (it takes my kids about 1/2 hour to wind-down before bed). "Transition" them verbally and by getting into a ROUTINE before bed.... to calm them down. EVERY night, do the same pre-bed/pre-nap routine....

Your kids seem real super over-tired... hence they are having melt-downs.

Kids this age need naps and bedtime....
here is a link on sleep:
http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-sleep-does-your-chil...

Next, your Hubby should be helping with bedtime...

all the best,
Susan

First set a timer X amount of minutes before bedime then start a count down. 30 minute warning, time to clean up! 20 minutes until bed, time to brush your teeth! 10 minutes. 5 minutes, 3 minutes, 1 minute. In bed with a book. Counting down should help with the expectation of what comes next.

Don't talk to him when he gets out of bed. You are engaging him one on one and giving him additional attention after his brother goes to sleep. Who'd want to give THAT up?

Just silently pick him up and put him back in bed saying now is the time for night night/sleey time. Use as little emotion and frustration as possible as he will feed off that as well. I liken it to a limp robot. There may be a few nights at first where you almost have to park yourself outside his door or even sitting on the floor next to his bed just to keep putting him back in bed. Still no talking other than, night night (or nothing at all after the 3rd time) then completely disengage. He needs to learn that he won't get additional individual attention after bedtime, of course unless he is feverish/sick.

On nights my daughter has more problems settling down, and "staying" in bed, I just put her back in bed and sometimes immediately just sit about 2 feet from her bed staring at the floor. If she doesn't try to get back out of bed but is very restless I will try to hold her hand or just place my hand on her back.

If you find yourself having to sit on the floor in his room to pick him up and put him back in bed over and over again, you will have to start working your way out of the the room further and further each night. 2 feet away, 4 feet away, 6 feet away, inside the door, outside the door, out to the couch.

Resign yourself that it will take several nights lasting 10 minutes up to 2 hours of pick up-put in bed and that is all you will be doing during that time. The sooner it happens the sooner you will be back your regularly scheduled relaxation.

Put a gate across his room. Let him stay in there. Turn the lights off when it is bedtime and put him to bed once. tell him if he gets up the gate will go across the doorway. And stick to it. he may stand at the doorway and shriek but it won't hurt him and he will be safe in his own room. you may have to totally child proof the room if you haven't done that yet. we had to put childproof locks on my sons dresser drawers and closet door. the only thing he could get to was his toybox. he would be up in their yelling/singing/yelling/playing etc for an hour after we put him to bed. and in the morning if he got up too early we made him stay in there. Get a big face clock and put a star next to the time he can get up. (wake you up lol) and tell him he can't get you till then. as for locking the door you can put a hook and eye on the outside if you have to. and to those who say no let me say that after my son getting out of not only his room but the house without the sitter hearing and a cop bringing our son back the hook and eye was the only way to make sure HE was safe. it won't take long to get him trained to stay in his room at bedtime you just have to be really consistant.

Melatonin has been my family's lifesaver - I have three kids now aged 6, 6, almost 5 - bedtime was an absolute nightmare, they were cranky during the day, and now they sleep for 11 to 12 hours, are well rested. My husband and I are not pulling our hair out and can actually enjoy our evenings. Our pediatrician recommended it, as most kids have not built up their levels of melatonin and have a hard time calming down at night. It's organic and check with your pediatrician on dosage levels. I use it now too periodically (obviously a grown up dosage.)

Hi R.,
You didn't mention trying a switch (not your hand) on his bottom. You outline the bedtime rules with him/them. You tell him if he chooses to be disobedient and get out of bed you will switch him on the bottom and he will be sent directly back to bed. If he chooses to scream and throw a tantrum you are going to switch his bottom and place him back in bed. You are in charge Mom so make the rules, explain them once and follow through with the switch if he fails to obey the rules. It's very simple and will work wonderfully well if you are consistent. If you only threaten but don't follow through you've lost the chance to regain your authority and a good nights rest. Blessings, L.

I have no idea if this will work but I had this same experience with one of mine and I just laid with him until he fell asleep. I know people out there are cringing to hear it but it worked for us. I even spent some nights laying with him in my bed then I moved him to his bed after he fell asleep. Another thing I found worked was giving him food before bed, usually yogurt, a bowl of cereal, or a PBJ. You will be happy to know that it does not last forever, my son is 10 and stopped being a crazy person at night around 5 or 6.

Good luck!

Hi--
Go to Vitamin Cottage and get liquid melatonin. Give him a little--about a dropper full is 1/4 gram--about 1/2 hour before bedtime. This will get him to fall asleep quickly and re-set his brain's biological clock. Do not give this to him for longer then two weeks. Also get Super Valerian calm by wish garden and give it to him at bedtime. This will re-set his adrenal glands, which are clearly shot from not enough sleep (this is the reason he is waking up early and getting into things). The valerian will help his body re-balance. Incidentally, his adrenal glands are probably what is keeping him from falling asleep as well, so this should also help in the falling asleep process. It will probably take a week or two to get him back in balance. And of course, follow a bedtime routine to help cue his body to go to sleep. If you try this, let me know if it works. I think it will really help.
J.

I feel your pain. My almost three year old is the same way. When he was younger, we used to lock the door to keep him in his room (we turned the door handle around so the lock was on the outside -- and there is NO way for him to get out). That worked for a while though there was LOTS of crying and screaming the first few nights we did it. We eventually stopped locking him in, but now he's back to getting out of bed several times a night before he falls asleep and 2-3 more times in the middle of the night.

Rather than locking the door again (immediately), we are trying a new strategy. Last week we started allowing him to keep his light on in his room to read books in bed until 9pm (he goes to bed at 7:30p-8p). This allows him a little more time to play quietly if he's not tired. So far, it's worked for about 1/2 the nights. The other nights he's been out of bed only one or two times -- and each time we've threatened to lock the door if he gets up again. Each of the nights he did get out of bed, he claimed to have to go to the bathroom, so we let him out. In part, I think it's a ploy for attention, but he does go when we sit him on the potty.

We've also started a sticker chart. He get's a sticker for each night he stays in bed all night long (after he falls asleep). He used to get up and out of bed 2-3 times per night, but since the chart started last week he hasn't been up at all. We promised him a special treat (yet to be determined) if he could go the whole month without getting out of bed in the middle of the night. So far, so good.

Anyway, you might try turning your door handle around to lock your son into his room. He won't like it, but at least you know he'll be safe and not wandering around the house throughout the night. Good luck... and let me know if you find another strategy that works. Mine might be short lived! :)

My family has a lot of multiples in it. One thing that gets bandied about all the time to the "new" parents (as in everyone takes a deep breath and sighs when this age old conversation gets started) is how different multiples are as individuals. AKA one can be a morning person and the other a night owl. One is super physical, the other two are bookish. One is adhd the other isn't. One is dyslexic, the other is an early reader. One is arts, the other is maths. One does this, the other that. 2 love this one thing, the third hates it. One is this way, the other is that way. Which then ALWAYS leads into the conversation about the dominant twin... and how that really effects the dynamic. Which leads into the betting pool as to which twin/trip is going to start saying "I" while the other(s) start saying "we" once the kids get verbal. ((This particular conversation never changes... and continues in an equally predictive pattern. The next stage is the whole "one crib no debate to >>> two beds v one bed debate" ))

Anyhow... point being... one of your twins sounds like they need a nap. Or a 6pm bedtime. While the other twin sounds like they're doing great on the existing schedule.

If the non-sleeper is the sub twin, this can create some problems... because if their leader isn't doing x, they won't want to either. Pitching fits not want to. ((Separating the submissive twin from the dominant twin can be reeeeally hard)). So my hope is that your non-sleeper is the dominant one.

watch Super Nanny, watch Super Nanny, watch Super Nanny,