My oldest daughter was diagnost with asthma a couple of years ago and it isn't under control at all. She does have a great pulmonologist who is working hard to help the problem. However, her father and I are divorced. He moved back to Texas a little over a year ago and I am having problems getting him to give her medicine. She takes several different medicines for a couple of different problems and he doesn't give any of it to her. I have gone over everything with him, I send her actual medicine bottles over there, and I have it written on paper in her medicine bag what to give her, how much and when. He just has no respect, obviously, for me or her. What can I do? I write everything down. Working on getting him on tape telling me they didn't have time or that they fogot, but I just don't have the money to go out and get a lawyer. Help!!!
As you know most of the times it is us Moms that give out the meds and keep track of schedules so if he has a new wife or significant other that you can talk to try conversing with her and see if you and her can get this end of the deal worked out.
What you should record is your daughter having an asthma attack and show that to the ex. Asthma can be life threatening. You will not forget about the medicine once you go through an emergency room visit with your child. If he must have visitation you should make phone calls to remind him it is time for her medication. He can make all the excuses in the world, but the most important thing is for her to take her medicine. Purchase an inexpensive Trac Phone with a small amount of minutes for your daughter or husband or someone in the visiting town that is reliable (a neighbor, policeman, pastor, etc.)and call her/them to remind her of the meds if the husband will not answer your calls. Good luck-I think I would be in contempt of court for refusing visitation rights!! Bet you couldn't guess - I have a child with asthma. Good luck and God bless!
C.,
You are right to be concerned as asthma should be taken seriously. Asthma can be life threatening and he should be arrested for putting her in danger. A letter from an attorney would be great to put some pressure on him? Meanwhile,is your daughter old enough to be responsible for her own medicine? My seven year old knows which inhalers he is to take morning and night. Perhaps you could speak to your pulmonolgist to understand whether she could only take one medicine while she's away -- which one that should be -- and then she would only have to take that one? It's not ideal, but I'm brainstorming for you...and it would be better than nothing. Hope something changes soon!!
Does he have full or partial parenting w/ her? Can't you tell the judge about this? Surely he/she would put an ultimateum on him to say you either give her the meds or she will live w/ her mother full time????
You're right about the respect part. I have a 3 yr. old nephew w/ asthma & the only way they keep it under control is to put him on the maintaince program (a daily dose whether he needs it or not). When times are tough w/ the weather or whatever else, he sails thru it!!!
You don't need a lawyer call child protective services on him that is child in dangerment. I have asthma as do my two girls and I know how important the meds are.
Compliance from an ex-spouse can be so difficult. I wish I could give advice on that. Unfortunately I don't know other than have everything documented in court papers. I did want to comment that you might consider reading the book Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, Asthma, ADHD and Allergies by Dr. Kenneth Bock. By following some of Dr Bock's advice this may eliminate the need for some medication.
The Women's Center in Tarrant County has one night a week when lawyers donate their time to offer legal advice. It's free. I am no longer involved there so I do not know the details but they should be easy to find on whitepages.com . Also, if you think your child is actually in danger you really should report it to CPS or someone. I have no idea how severe her asthma is, but I know the disease can be life threatening in severe cases so I wouldn't hesitate to contact authorities if her life was in danger.
Just out of curiosity, how old is your daughter? Can she not take her medication herself? My 4 year old can take her inhaler by herself and she reminds me when she needs it.. If she get's it regularly at home, she should know when she is with him that she needs it and tell him... Of course if she is too little that is understandable. I have asthmas as does my 4 year old and if you dont' take the regular one you end up with respiratory infections and bronchitus and such.. Also, if it is not under control, Dr. Venkatesh in Bedford is wonderful.
I am sorry that your ex takes your daughter's health for granted and does not give the importance due to her health risks. I too have a daughter with asthma (seasonal - thank God) from about when she was 2. She is now 5 but she learned at about 3 yrs. old the routine and amounts for her medication and inhalers that she has to take. Sometimes she's the one that reminds me that she has not yet taken a certain one. In the interest of her well-being, maybe it would be an option to train your daughter to administer (with her dad's supervision) her own medication. It may encourage him more to keep on schedule if he knows she is keeping track of something he's suppose to be responsible for. This is not at all trying to excuse him of his negligence, but it may help keep your child from suffering the consequences. Good luck!
Take her to the chiropractor for her asthma. I treat alot of asthma patients and they do not need their meds as long as they have an adsjustment to the upper back
He is risking her health by not following instructions. You can report him to Child Protective Services. There are legal groups that may offer free legal advice or counsel. You need to check with your local family advocacy center.
You can contact your local Lawyers Bar Association, use Google or the phone book to find it, and ask them if they can connect you with a lawyer who will work pro bono (that means, free). It seems that this is a life-threatening situation, and even without your ex on tape saying he didn't medicate your daughter, there are other ways to prove it. Take her to the doctor right after she has visited him and your doctor can document the situation. It seems you have a strong case to remove unsupervised visitation rights.
Well this is really hard you should tell. that this is neglect and he could ultimately cause her to have an attack that could be fatal. asthma is very serious condition my son is severe asthmatic and he is on 5 meds per day with out could be fatal. Since there are no funds for attorney you could report him to cps that way there is some kind of report of this on record.I do understand your concern.worst comes to worse request supervised visitation that he only has her for a lil while not staying over with him .I hope that i did not offend you in anyway. but that is what i would do.
