Hi!
I am just checking to see if others think we are bad parents as a man in the neighborhood was yelling at us tonight!! I have always thought of myself as a pretty cautious parent...am I wrong?
So when we take our kids on a bike ride or walk(they are 4.5 and 6) we let them go up 3 houses or to a fire hydrant or end of the block and wait for us. We are NEVER more than a couple houses away. They ride faster than we walk obviously and are trained to wait until we catch up. So we are on the bike path(right by our house) that runs next to a busy street but has a grassy area between the path and the road. These blocks are short as they are the width of 2 houses. We cross the street and let our kids ride to the next corner and wait. As we catch up at the corner where our kids are waiting back from the corner this man 2 houses down starts yelling at us that we need to be watching our kids!! We can clearly see them and they were waiting nicely on their bikes back from the road. Granted they do ride fast, but they stop well before the corner to wait. I told my daughter she needs to slow down next time, but ignored the man. Are we wrong? I would have liked to yell back, but decided to ignore it. Are we crazy parents or was this a nosey neighbor(not even OUR neighbor!!)
Thanks!!
L.
Thanks for the support! My children are very confident and independent, but I am very strict on rules :) I guess I was just second guessing our procedure after being yelled at!! Also by way of "busy street" it is 30 mph--so busy but not crazy!! I do worry about driveways and my kids are aware to watch and not be too far ahead! Thanks!
Ignore the old codger.
You're doing fine.
I would have complimented you on the children waiting before going into the street. Good job M.!!!
You're doing fine. I think they are plenty old enough for you to know they are not going to ride into the street on a whim. Wouldn't worry about the neighbor.
I don't think you are "crazy parents," but I personally wouldn't let kids of those ages get that far away with a busy street there regardless of the grassy area or the fact that you have trained them to "wait." Too many variables IMO. BUT, I also wouldn't have yelled at you like the neighbor man did. That seems uncalled for.
My 12-year-old says, "Personally, that neighbor is far too nosey."
30 years ago, when your kids were out riding their bikes around the neighborhood, you would have been either 1. In your house cooking dinner; 2. In the backyard gardening or 3. Over at a neighbor's house chatting. My how times have changed. You're fine.
No, you're not crazy. You're perfectly normal. Helicopter parents and the man who yelled at you are the crazy ones. You are giving your kids a developmentally appropriate amount of independence. They are allowed to go a short way by themselves, but you are also watching them to ensure their safety. You also did something right because your kids listen to you about stopping before the corner and waiting for you. Kids who have some independence become more aware of their surroundings and a feeling for their safety than kids who are always glued to their parents' sides. You were also right to ignore the man. He was a busybody who had no business telling you to watch your kids. Keep on giving your kids small doses of independence and they will be prepared for life when they go off to college.
I was always pretty concerned with driveways with my kids when they were that age.
Maybe that ol' man almost hit a kid once while backing out.... probably has post traumatic feelings about it, so he yelled.
It's him, not you.
Just keep an eye on your kiddos tho, dont let them get too far ahead.
Yeah, don't yell at the neighbor in front of your kids. It sets a bad example.
The neighbor doesn't understand what you do. It probably kind of scared him, OR he's a jerk who likes to tell people what to do. I would like to think that he just got scared.
Children ARE unpredictable, and that's what he is undoubtedly thinking. I admit that when I see stuff like this, it puts my heart in my throat. It happened with a friend and the little girl didn't stop (I think she didn't hear her mom.) Finally my friend had to yell and there was a touch of panic in her voice, and her daughter DID stop. And she waited, like her mom had trained her to do. I told my friend she was a good girl because she stopped once she heard her mom. The thing is, I think her daughter was off in "la-la-land" and her mom's voice was far away. THAT is the scary part. It did scare us both.
So I don't think that anyone can tell if this is a nosy neighbor or one who doesn't want to see a tragedy on your street. Either way, don't think of yourselves as crazy parents. Just try to see the possibilities and address them, because they are real, and the neighbor might just be a little reminder of that.
Dawn
Well, people are free to think what they want.
As long as YOU feel sure your kids are safe, I'd ignore the crazies.
You did good. On both counts -
1. Your kids listen to you and wait.
2. You set a good example to your kids by not yelling back at the neighbor.
Relax, smile :)
he's a jerk. you're fine. and also a better person for ignoring the jerk.
@@
khairete
S.
i dont see an issue with that. my daughter who is 5 now has been doing that for 2 years. that man just seems grumpy.
no you are doing a GREAT job, giving them independence at the same time they have rules to follow and are monitored. MORE PARENTS SHOULD DO THIS!! I mean look at all the 5 yr olds in strollers you see now.
I tell my daycare kids they have to stop at the start of each driveway, only because they are all under 5 yrs old and walking (so they are short) and a car pulling out of the garage would not see them. Sometimes I let them go 4 or 5 houses if I can see no cars are in the driveways.
I am sorry that the jerk acted that way to you, but don't let it be an issue, there are too many people that think they can't have kids be more then a foot away from them.
Unfortunately, there are lots of judgemental people these days who think you are neglectful if you let your kids more than two feet away from you at any given time.
You know what you're doing. Your kids know the rules and follow them.
Shrug it off.
Just my opinion.
Your children are TOO young to be riding that long or fast before you. I don't think you are crazy, but I do think you should re-think the safety of your children. It takes an instant for a child to be run down by a car or a careless biker.
Go beside them or before them and if you have a daring child, go beside them.
Crazy neighbor dude that probably doesnt like kids.
IGNORE.
I didnt read the other replies but, Why are you posting this? No you are not crazy parents at all. You are very good parents. Kids in my neighborhood that age, ride their bikes alone. There is never a parent following them.
My only concern in this situation is regarding driveways. As Grandma T has mentioned, they can be dangerous, and I know a lot of kids who seem 'safe', but are going so fast they do not look at driveways. That would be an area I would want to know, in my bones, that my kids 'had down'... that they were checking driveways every time before crossing them on foot or on bike. The dangers of cars for kids aren't just at the corner or in the street. "In the U.S. fifty children are being backed over by vehicles EVERY week. Forty-eight (48) are treated in hospital emergency rooms and at least two (2) children are fatality injured every WEEK." This is from Kids and Cars.org, here's the link:
http://www.kidsandcars.org/userfiles/dangers/backovers/ba...
And great that you didn't set that negative example of yelling back. Sounds like you kept your cool even if the fellow didn't.
What you are doing sounds fine to me. They are always within your sight.
The best thing you did was to ignore that man.
Forgive me, i didnt read the other replies. When our kids were that young, we did not let them go ahead. We were too afraid that they would lose control and fall or worse fall into the street. My husband and i would walk on the grass?street side of sidewalk, so that if they fell we were right there. My husband still worries with our 7 and 10 year old. He is the one that had me as cautious as i am.
My 2nd daughter had a bad bike accident when she was 6 or 7. (she was at my sister in laws) She had a concussion that led to epilepsy and a small part of her brain atrophied (sp?) I dont tell you this to scare you, just to let you know that they still may need you at such a young age to be there next to them.
This may sound silly, but are you good at roller blades/skates? Or riding a bike? Then you could be right next to them. Or go to an open area where you can all have a blast :)
You're good,they need to learn.
I was berated the other day for walking in the street of my neighborhood , I was near the curb and easily passable
Some people should just butt out
Sounds like us...so no I don't think you're crazy!
Sounds perfectly normal to me. Keep up the good work.
I do the same thing with my daughter. I think it's pretty common, as kids bike faster than parents can walk or jog. Our driveways are on the back of our houses, so she doesn't ride over driveways. As long as they wait at the corner vs going into the street and you can see them, it's all good. The guy sounds like a busybody and best just ignored.
I don't think you are crazy!! My daughter has been pretty darn independent.
When I read this question though, I immediately thought of the commercial with the back up system that tells the driver there is a young child (or object) just entering the side walk connected with his driveway. Are they careful with this? That's what I would worry about.
He probably doesn't like and clearly doesn't have kids. This is his problem, not yours.
yes .. yes you are LOL (ok I didn't read the question ... but I couldn't resist just once).
ok now for the real answer :) I used to let mine run/ride their bike to the corner/next light post/etc when we were walking places. As long as it wasn't too busy and I could still see them. Your children are fine and you're doing a great job. don't worry about some fuddy duddy.
We don't let our kids do this, but only because of where we live. AZ is #1 in red light fatalities. Meaning there are people running red lights and crashing here constantly. Alot of those cars end up rolling over to the sidewalks of the intersections. So no, my kids are not alone even if we are a few houses back. Not that I could really do anything if this were to happen, but I just *feel* better being closer to them. Why don't you guys get a couple bikes and all ride together, that would solve that problem. Good luck!
You're not crazy; you are fine; he's an idiot!
the guy probably had a bad day. no worries.
