Are There "Bad Girl" Schools Around?

I wouldn't put her in a Bad school she will just learn how to be a worse kid. How much has she been through with her Mom and the divorce? It sounds like she needs a lot of guidance, boundries and LOVE. I think all this behavior is a cry out for attention and love.

First of all let me just say that those that state that putting your step-daughter in an alternative school will make her behavior worse, do not know what they're talking about. A good alternative school will help her manage her behavior. My son is bi-polar and ADHD and he is in an alternative school and he is doing wonderfully. When he was in public school, he was suspended several times and eventually expelled. At the alternative school, he gets individual, group and family counseling. And he has learned how to control his anger and behavior. Also, he goes to school year round so that helps manage his time as well. I was leary of an alternative school at first, I must admit. However, it has been the best thing for him. I do not know of any alternative school for your step-daughter's age, however. (my son's school only take kids 8th grade and above). I would contact the school she would be going to and ask them. They would most likely know of some and know which ones have openings. Also, did she have any IEPs at the old school with regards to her behavior? If not, I would do as somebody else mentioned and take her to a psychiatrist/psychologist here. You will probably need to do so in order to get her into an alternative school. Our school district pays for my son's alternative school (it's a private school), as well as transportation to and from, but that's with an IEP. Good luck!!

Before finding an alternative school, talk with her teacher for this school year and work with the school psychologist and social worker to establish a behavioral modification plan. Don't jump to the most restrictive environment right away. At the school I work at we have many steps before outplacing a child...even as young as kindergarten they can be outplaced. I am a third grade teacher with inclusion students, including those with behavioral disorders. Many things can be done to structure their time and provide positive outlets for their feelings. Many times the modification/plan used at school also helps at home. I would also request that your child be tested by the school's "multi-diciplinary team" (a fancy name for the teachers and others who work with your child) to determine if she would qualify for extra help within the school. *If you request she be tested they MUST test her; It's the law! I've seen many students released from an IEP (individualized education plan) for behavior after a year or two. It takes patience and a teacher with compasion.

Best of luck to you & I hope this helps.

C.,

I am going to start by saying I was one of those bad girls! I didn't start quite this young but I was an awful child!!!

I hate to say this... by putting her in an alternative school you could be setting her up to learn more negative behaviors from her peers. I would say that 75% of the kids do not do well, in the long run... atleast from my observations and by looking up names of kids I went to school with on the Illinois State Inmate Search and also talking to some of them. I was one of the lucky few who grew up and grew out of this stage.

My son was also a "bad boy" I considered placing him in alternative schools but decided against it based upon my experience. He did get services through his reg. schools though and while it helped from 5th grade to the beginning of HS, once he hit HS all hell broke loose!We changed schools even and because of the label he carried with him he was treated as a 1st grader would and his education suffered. He was given picture books to read and basically no further education. VERY VERY long story!!! Be very careful to not let your daughter get labeled as a "bad girl", especially so young!

My sons school (5-8th grade) set it up with him that if he felt he was going to melt down he could go up to the teacher and request to see the counseler. She helped him to recognize his behaviors and what was appropriate and when he needed help. She was truly amazing!!! She really worked well with him and made him successful until HS. I sure wish they could have brought her with him there!

Consider other resources... counseling, interventions, church etc.... There is plenty of them out there for her. Start the counseling before school starts so maybe she can begin in the new school with a fresh start!!!! Remember that she is also going through a very tough time moving in with you and having to compete for attention even if it is negative attention she is seeking. Granted, I do not know your whole story so I am jumping to conclusions but... well you know how it goes on here!

I just would hate to see such a young girl who is obviously in need of help to be labeled and not be able to get rid of it! Remember you will have to do IEPs and many meetings with the schools. I would try the counseling first and see if they can do something to avoid even special ed (behavior) classes at school. If she does need special classes in school make sure she is not put in a LD class as her education will suffer as my sons did. Try to exhaust all other possibilities first.

I wish you lots of luck and many blessings through these tough times you are facing!

Depending upon your location - I am sure there are several alternative schools. You should work through her regular school first. They can ususally do testing and provide 'support' services for her in school. If they find that she needs alternate placement, they will provide it, pay for it and typically offer transaportation for it as well. Once whe is enrolled in an alternative school, they ususally provide weekly counseling as well as a psychiatrist to determine if there are any psychological issues or mental illnesses that may need treatment with medication. From the little you wrote, she sounds bi-polar..... but I am certainly far from a professional!

"alternative/aka Bad kid schools" are just a way of widening her circle of peers that are also "bad kids" or misguided youth. You are better off to find her a boot camp to attend this summer, or perhaps get her into some after school activities that she enjoys which are constructive. She may just be acting out to gain attention which she may not have had w/her previous living situation. She may need some tough love. You should check into the program that is advertised on WBBM about behavioral issues w/kids. It's not too late to show her that it's better to be "good" as she's probably at the turning point age --your family will have a tough road ahead, but ask her what her interests are and maybe point her into something that she likes at the park districts or other after school programs....it also sounds like she needs to learn boundaries and discipline. Make sure your husband is on board and make use of the books and other resources that are free-like at the library. I think there are many options open to you, just start googling stuff and go from there. She's probably not a rotten kid, just needs love and boundaries and discipline.

I'd try counseling before you switch her schools. Call your insurance for a referal

Hi,

C. first, you need to take your child to a good psychiatrist. How do you know? They need to treat the problem not the symptoms. Second, then a therapist to teach the child how to exprees themselves socially-emotionally. Have the therapist teach you some of strategies (I have some if you would like) if you have not done these things. Third and last, make sure the child is involved in activitities that will improve self-esteem. There are no bad girls only bad behaviors (you can not improve this untill you address the core problem(s)). Children need to be taugtht how they are to behave and express themsevles appropriately (including being nice and kind toward to others), and some skills that are innate for some children are not in others. The behaviors are the least of your problem if you address the core problem which could be both phisological and environmental(something triggered the bevaiors). Therapeutic Day schools are a last resort so, make sure the other things I have suggested have beed done. This child will need lots of structure even when you give directions to follow.

I hope this is helpful.

L.

Hi C. -

This is a very courageous step you have made for your family - to take in your stepdaughter. For kids like how you described your stepdaughter, consistency, boundaries, and love are key for them developing well. I'm sure this is a hard time for you and your family, but if you accept the challenge to keep her at home, I hope you'll be greatly rewarded to see her grow. It would be easier to have a school manage her behavior, but in the end, she might still struggle with learning how to behave with loved ones at home, too. There is a lot of help you could get in your community - especially from mental health professionals - on how to parent someone with these behaviors and how to include her in your family. I wish you the best of luck with your decision.