Anyone Else Have a "Highly Sensitive Child"?

Updated on July 24, 2008
K.C. asks from Dallas, TX
23 answers

Hi everyone,

We have a 4 year old daughter that has always had some strange behaviors. Lately they have become more noticeable and I am trying to figure out if they are really more normal than I think for a 4 year old or if she is highly sensitive. She has always reacted very dramatically to people singing loudly ~ especially at birthday parties where she puts her hands over her ears and screams. This has always received a laugh from other parents but I am completely humiliated and couldn't figure out why she would do that. She reacted this way at a recent sports camp when on the last day all the kids were receiving their certificates and upon clapping for each child she would cover her ears and scream "stop". When we've asked her why she does this she says because it "hurts her ears" which I thought was completely ridiculous and that she was just acting like a brat. I recently stumbled upon information about highly sensitive children and it's possible that she could be but she doesn't show all of the signs listed. I am about to look for a child therapist to see if they can tell me whether or not this is a behavioral issue or if she is just overly sensitive. I know she is 4 and many of the things she does are typical of a 4 year old child but if anyone has specific experience with sensitive children I would love to hear your advice.

Thanks!
K.

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So What Happened?

Thank you all SO much for the wonderful advice ... I was a little nervous that the responses would tell me that I was being paranoid! I went to the bookstore today and practically read the entire book "The Out of Sync Child" but decided to wait on buying it just yet. I do think she has some sensory processing issues but it seems to only be auditory - other than the itchy clothing tags which drive me nuts as well. I am in the process of interviewing new pediatricians and will be making an appointment to see if we can't get some more guidance. I love the suggestion of the developmental pediatrician but they are IMPOSSIBLE to get appointments with!!! My twin sons were born in December (very premature) and our appointment with the developmental pediatrician is for this coming December ... the appointment was made in June. I will be looking into ENT's and possibly therapy at Our Children's House - which is such an amazing place!

Thank you again - I knew I would get some great advice on Mamasource!
K.

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

I would definitely take her for testing, especially in the "Sensory Integration" department. She sounds a lot like my son (now 18) who had sensory integration issues. He would cry in the grocery store when the P.A. system would come on and also couldn't take loud noises. His brain would just overload.

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K.H.

answers from Dallas on

Have you read anything about sensory processing disorders? Try the Out of Sync Child has fun by Carol Stock Kranowitz. I found it to be helpful. It actually gives you "games" to help her learn to cope with some of those situations as well as some explanation about why she is doing what she is doing.

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K.E.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.,
Check out "The Out of Sync Child," available at most bookstores. It sounds like your child may have sensory integration issues. These kids are just more sensitive to sound, light and touch.
My eleven year old son really doesn't enjoy going to the movies at all. The intensity of sound and the overwhelming size of the screen just make him uncomfortable. One of our friends has an eleven year old daughter who cannot stand dogs barking, won't jump on a trampoline, can't stand loud music. It is really not that uncommon. Also read "Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight, What to do if you are sensory defensive in an overstimulating world" by Sharon Heller, Ph.D You want to get a handle on it before school begins so you can make sure she is not "diagnosed" by a teacher with something she does not have!
The good thing, is if she is indeed sensory defensive, there are occupational therapies that are very simple that can help and by the time she reaches nine or ten she will have coping mechanisms in place. Look through the books I mentioned and if she seems to "fit" the behaviors there are a number of places you can turn to for help.
K

1 mom found this helpful
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T.O.

answers from Dallas on

Sensory Integration Disorder is not a problem with her ear tubes, drum etc, but a problem with the brain and ears communicating with each other (that's the intergration part).

There are plenty of kids with this disorder, some have other issues with textures, lights etc. Some have other disabilities too... like Autism.

You can ask ECI in Carrollton to evaluate her for free, because has Sensory issues can delay her learning. If they can't, or she doesn't qualify, they can give you references.

I'm glad you no longer think she's doing it on purpose or being bratty. Remember, she's really too young to make up stuff like that. It's very painful for her, so try to be supportive. Earplugs are cheap and easy. My son wore them at lunch when he went to Elementary school.

You got good advice from the rest. Good luck.

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

Personally, I think that is completely within normal parameters. I have 2 boys who have both gone through phases like this....and I've known countless other children who have as well. Children's ears are especially sensitive to sudden loud sounds. I think the time to seek attention is if this affecting her everyday life, but if its just at a new setting(sports camp) or unusual event(bday party) you are good. My best friend's daughter was diagnosed with sensory integration disorder at 18 months and believe me those kinds of issues show up in every aspect of life and result in delays and all sorts of problems. If you are concerned to that degree, I would look into it with your pediatrician's guidance. In the end you know your child best, but in this case I think her reactions sound very normal given the situations you described.

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P.S.

answers from Dallas on

Does she, did she have tubes in her ears? Having a hole in your eardrum changes the way you hear and speaking from personal expierence, it makes sounds much more intense. Even a room full of people talking is often more than I can handle and I have to walk away to regroup. For now, until you can get answers from your dr, forwarn her when loud noises are coming, it is ok for her to cover her ears or step outside. Even public toliets are too much for my 4 year old with tubes, she covers her ears until she knows how loud it will be. Let her be a little in control of how to react and your embarrasement will fade.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

My son has been highly sensitive to sounds. His Pedi. told me that some kids are just like that. He is 6 1/2 now, and he has outgrown it quite a bit. It can be embarassing at times, but others do realize that kids go through stages. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.

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B.K.

answers from Dallas on

K., my daughter has various sensory issues. For about 1.5 years we took her to OT, and she's MUCH better now. The clinic we used is in East Plano (but they have other locations), and they have incredible therapists there (we loved them all!). If you'd like the clinic info, feel free to e-mail me at ____@____.com luck!

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M.E.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.,

I'm so glad that you asked this question. My almost three year old son does the exact same thing that your daughter does by covering his ears and screaming when he is around large groups singing, babies crying, kids screaming, and many other noises. We also had the same thing happen to us at a birthday party when they sang Happy Birthday. He seems to be sensitive in some other ways as well. I started noticing this about a year ago, and had been searching for some explanation or way to help him cope with these situations because it can be very frustrating at times. I did find the "Highly Sensitive Child" that you are talking about too. I did feel that this sort of described him. My son didn't fit all of the items listed either, but it does say that not everyone will fit all of the descriptions.
I finally took my son to the pediatrician to see if he could point us in the right direction. He said that it sounded like a sensory processing issue (which I had already read about as well). He sent us to see an OT.
Both our pediatrician and the therapist let us know that Sensory Processing issues can be kind of hard to define and treat, but I was excited to be starting on some sort of auditory therapy since that seems to be his most sensitive area.
Our therapist suggested a plan of therapeutic listening which would involve my son wearing headphones and listening to music for a half hour. Well, needless to say, my son does not like to put on headphones. We went to therapy sessions for several weeks, and he never was able to even get the headphones on. I honestly don't think he (at 2.5 years old) would have sat there for 30 minutes just listening to music anyway. We ended our sessions with the therapist since it did not seem like the right kind of help for my son. He is great in a one on one situations with people (like the therapy sessions were). His issues seem to be more in group settings especially around other children. Our therapist did suggest that play therapy might be better for him, but we have yet to look into that.

I will say that I have had several people tell me recently that their children had similar sensitivities to noise when they were younger but eventually outgrew it.

I would love to know what you find out with your daughter, and what kind of therapies you find.

Thanks!
M.

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K.S.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter did the exact same thing all through her early childhood. She is now 8 and the only thing that still really bothers her is going to the movies with Dolby or THX sound. When she was a baby all loud or sudden noises made her cry, even people suddenly laughing. She also did the same as your daughter with singing at parties, flushing the toilet and other random situations. Unfortunately, I have no magic advice. She simply and gradually grew out of it. It is true that some children have highly sensitive hearing and I see it at the pediatric office I work at. Some situations are just more extreme than others. You might want to talk to your pediatrician. Good Luck and feel free to pm me if you have more questions.
K.

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J.G.

answers from Dallas on

Hi - While I'm by no means an expert, I would be willing to bet that your child may have a slight "sensory integration disorder". It's not that uncommon in small kids. Sometimes sounds that don't bother the rest of us are too loud, or clothes all of a sudden (especially the tags) become an irritant, or food becomes too hot (when it's ok to everybody else), etc. There's a really good book out there called "The Out of Synch Child" that helps explain a lot of this. Also, talk to your pediatrician and maybe look into getting a referral to someone for an evaluation (Developmental Pediatrician, maybe?).

Good luck!

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N.W.

answers from Dallas on

The noise probably does hurt her ears. Magnesium helps with sound sensitivity for some kids. Calm is a brand you can find at Whole Foods. All the other responses to address sensory needs are great too.

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R.V.

answers from Dallas on

It is Sensory issues instead of "sensitive" child. You must make accommodation's for her in these situations since she isn't processing them well. It would be like you being placed in a room with loud chalkboard scratching going on or a child screaming non-stop for long periods.
Please don't make her feel bad for it, help her find ways to deal with it without being singled out.

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H.H.

answers from Dallas on

Looks like you got plenty of god advice. Both my son and nephew were sensative to loud sounds and covered their ears when they were younger and both (Now 10 & 11) have outgrown it.

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B.M.

answers from Dallas on

My son is the same way!

It's very possible that loud sounds do hurt her ears and that she is not trying to be a ridiculous brat. This could be occurring for a variety of reasons. I would start with an otolaryngologist (ear, nose and throat doctor). Another option would be that she is "sensory defensive." Both my son and daughter have some sensory issues. Occupational therapy with someone certified to work with sensory integration can be very helpful.

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C.R.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter Emma is very sesitive to sounds...the lawn mower, vaccuum cleaner...she runs away. Or if she can't go somewhere else she cries. She is 5. I'm not a doctor, but I think she has a mild case of Sensory Integration Disorder, very treatable. It has to do with the way her brain process senses. I would talk to your pediatrician and see what they recommend. I know I am. Here is a link that can help you too...at least if just to start asking your dr questions! :)

http://www.comeunity.com/disability/sensory_integration/s...
Cat

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

K. I would definitely have her checked by her Dr. I know there are children who are sensitive to sounds. I don't want to scare you in anyway but I was a special ed teacher to autistic children and they react that way to loud noises as well. So please take her in for some tests with a childrens doctor.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

It seems that Sensory Integration may be a factor here. Unfortunately teasing from other children is going to get really bad so you might want to look into private education like going to Great Lakes Academy in Plano. Dr. Derrick Blanton in Dallas is a great resource for you, as well. Good for you that you are aware of your daughter's behavior and not just making up excuses.

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

This definitely sounds like what some others have already suggested.... sensory processing integration -- in which can be treated with occupational therapy for auditory processing.

Not sure where you live... but Baylor's Our Children's House offers this kind of OT. My son has gone to Our Children's House (in Allen -- they have branches all over the Dallas area) for feeding therapy. They are great!!
We heard some info about this auditory therapy... with the headphones. Matthew only had an issue when I would turn on the blow dryer. But that was when he was younger and that was the only time he'd react -- and he'd just run to the other room. Not cry or scream or even cover his ears. So I didn't think his was a serious condition that needed attention. And he doesn't do that anymore.
But I can see how other children -- who react more dramatically -- can benefit from this OT.

If you want an assessment done at Our Children's House (your medical insurance may pay for this).... you'll need to get a prescription referral from your pediatrician faxed to Our Children's House stating that your child needs an assessment for auditory therapy.
Here's the Our Children's House website for phone # and more info....

http://www.baylorhealth.com/locations/och/

You can click on locations to find a location near you -- call them to ask if they do auditory therapy there at that location.

OH and one other note: ECI only takes children 3 yrs and younger.

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J.O.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.,

Just a thought . . . have you had her evaluated by an ENT (Ear,Nose & Throat) doctor? When my daughter was very young she had some reactions like that and it had to do with her ears. She is 31 now and doesn't cover her ears and scream anymore. :)

My prayers are with you.

J.

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Y.M.

answers from Dallas on

I would recommend you take her an ENT doctor to have her ears checked out immediately. (EAR, NOSE and Throat Doctor)

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H.H.

answers from Dallas on

I have delt with this with my oldest. It is something that he can't control. He gets "overstimulated" by things that most kids don't even notice. We had to avoid birthday parties, concerts, movies, large sporting events for awhile until he got it under control. It was around the age of 4 that I noticed it and we went through testing and treatment (occupational therapy) for Sensory Processing Disorder. If you haven't heard of it then a really good introductory article was recently published in Blissfully Domestic online magazine at: http://www.blissfullydomestic.com/2008/07/finished-draft....

I also love the book "The Out of Sync Child" by Carol Kranowitz. After reading just a few pages I realized this is what I was dealing with. It is a slow and frustrating issue, but once you understand what it is it makes it so much easier to predict, etc.

Feel free to contact me. I can totally identify with what you are going through.

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

My 2nd daughter has dysfunction of sensory integration. I used to have to sit with her during breakfast at her preschool and hold her ears so she could eat because the noise bothered her so much. They call it several things, but if you google it, it will come up. We had very limited insurance and not much money because of her father's illness, but hippotherapy (Horse therapy) is supposed to be good, and some insurances will cover that. She was in physical therapy for awhile and that helped a good deal. She's now 10 and she functions fine now.

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