Any Other Teacher Moms Out There--please Hlep!!

Updated on August 20, 2007
J.R. asks from Lees Summit, MO
20 answers

I am a second grade teacher who is excited(yet a bit sad I must admit) to have my son entering kindergarten in a different school district where I am. I have been really excited for him and I know he is really ready both academically and socially since he has been going to preschool. I just found out today that he will be placed in a kinder classroom with a new teacher. I was so torn up by it that I've spent the last hour almost in tears. I have been a teacher for 6 years and I would so much rather that my son be placed in a class with an experienced teacher. After all Ive seen and see 1st year teachers go through, I would much rather have him in another class. I just think it's almost a slap in the face that I've been working so hard to teach other kids and I just want the best for mine. I'm probably just overreacting, but I'm just curious what other educators out there think? Am I being silly thinking this way?

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So What Happened?

Well I am pleased to say that my son is doing so well in his first few weeks of kindergarten. I did meet the teacher and she seemed like she would do a great job with my son and the other kids. I don't get to see her on a daily basis, but I have called her once to see how my son was doing. The most important thing is that my son feels safe, happy, and comfortable in his new environment and I know she has a lot to do with that. Thanks for all the advice....I was just having a hard time accepting that he was not my baby anymore.

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T.V.

answers from Kansas City on

I remember when I heard that someone had said this about me my first year of teaching and I was crushed. We don't get to be 6 (or in my case 10) year teachers without a first year! First year teachers may lack some experience, but they also usually are VERY enthusiastic, very dedicated to their job, and are up on the latest issues in education. I can say personally I was much more involved and excited about teaching my first year than the last year I taught (before staying home) when I was married and had two children. My advice would be to be her biggest cheerleader--let her know you're there if she needs anything and support her. That would make all the difference to her.

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C.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I'm not an educator, but my son had a first year Kindergarten teacher last year, and she was AWESOME!! I think it just depends on the teacher, and who they student taught with earlier. His teacher student taught with a great teacher, so she was well prepared and what not.. I say give it a few weeks after school starts and see how it goes, if it's still rough, try and have him switched out.... Can't he go to the district you teach at? Here in Odessa teachers that live outside the district can still have their kids go to school here even though they are outside the district... Anyhow, good luck, and give the teacher a chance, you never know!!

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S.S.

answers from Springfield on

Hi, J.,

Honestly, I can't blame you! I am not a "school" teacher. I sometimes homeschool my children, sometimes send them to government school. I started my first son out in charter school (which was awesome, by the way), then moved to Missouri, and sent my second son to government school. I was SO disappointed, I spent the next 3 years homeschooling them. My second son was put in a K class with a brand new teacher, and although the kids loved her very much, and she was very sweet, they were not corrected on how to write their letters properly, and phonics was not the way they were taught to learn to read (even though it's pretty standard in that school).

I spent the next 3 years trying to re-teach my son, so that he would have a better chance. He still struggles with reading & writing, and always tells me "that's now how Miss A taught me!" (He is also STUBBORN, so that's part of it, too). It is so frustrating! I feel sorry for every child who was in that class, and hope their 1st grade teachers were really good.

Then again, it wouldn't hurt 1st year teachers to have more class-room help, so that they are not overwhelmed with the newness of teaching on their own, or a smaller classroom size. I sometimes feel like we've thrown them to the wolves, so to speak.

Sorry to rant, but my older son, who went to an established charter school, had a much much better beginning, and my daughter started out homeschooling. They are both advanced readers, while my younger son still struggles just to stay at his grade level.

Have you considered enrolling him in the school where you teach? Most schools will allow their teachers to enroll their children in that district, simply because it's easier for the teacher to get her kids to school. Maybe you could check into it?

Good luck!
S.

P.S. I am not bashing on new teachers, just that I believe they should have more support in their first year, so that every child in their class gets the same effective education as an established, more confident, teacher. Everyone has to start somewhere, I agree, but a little more support, or smaller classrooms for beginners, would be very beneficial to the children they are teaching. It's not about the teacher, it's about the child. We all want the best for our children.

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K.A.

answers from Kansas City on

my only thought is you were once is 1st year teacher also, maybe you can be an encouragement for her and have your son make sure he is extra good for her so it will go smoother. All teachers have to start somewhere with someone's kids at least you can kind of relate to her, with you being fairly new to teaching also, you never know she could be the best teacher your son will have, becasue she is new and does not have past experiences to spoil her impression.

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A.P.

answers from Kansas City on

I would rather my child have an excited first year teacher who may be a little rough around teh edges, than a worn out, tired, frazzled experienced teacher. As a teacher yourself, you'll be able to know if teh teacher is on top of things and if not, you can ask the right questions and give the right supports at home. I would not hesitate to let my children work with a new teacher. It depends on the person over experience sometimes.

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I must say I totally understand...but if all parents had their children switched out of a first time teacher's classroom the teacher would never be able to get to the second year without first being trusted to teach the first year. If you find issues as the school year gets underway then follow through with those....but breath easy and know that he will be fine and you have given him a great start to prepare him and will continue to work with him to keep him on schedule. Maybe you could be a great support for his teacher! Best of luck on the upcoming school year...both as a mom and teacher!

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J.C.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi J.!

I'm a former public school teacher with three children of my own. I think I understand your feelings and concerns. I went through three years of what you're experiencing. They weren't all new teachers, but I still had that deep-in-your-gut feeling that I knew I could do better for my child. After exploring every single option and talking with my DH - we called it quits. I became a homeschooling Mom. I was quite apprehensive at first - I had all the same questions that most people do when they hear about homeschooling. But, as I looked more into it, I realized that it's SO different than what I had thought. The most important aspect of all, though, was that I had PEACE in my heart and soul in educating my child (now children). I encourage you to seek out alternative options if your heart is trying to speak to you.

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C.T.

answers from Springfield on

I taught school for three years before now staying home with my daughter. Your first year of teaching isn't easy (and I am sure you know that) but it's also such an exciting time. First year teachers bring so much to the classroom because they are so happy to have their first teaching experience! Obviously most people go into teaching because they love children and want the opportunity to touch their little lives -- and first year teachers bring that attitude into the classroom so freely. Even though I am sure it is difficult for you to see your son starting this new phase in his life, it's also going to be such an exciting time too! You will have so much to discuss with your son every single day about his day at school. I know you will also be able to encourage his new teacher because you were once there yourself. You just might end up making another wonderful teacher friend along the way too. As hard as it may be, I know you will be able to find ways to help both you and your son have a terrific school year!!!

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V.G.

answers from Kansas City on

You are being very silly. How is this a slap in the face to you? No one was out to get you. Your kids name was on the list of kids who needed a teacher. they divided up the list and assigned him to one. They don't Know you or have any idea what you wanted.
Now give the teacher a chance. Everyone even you had a first year. And you more than most parents are in a position to help make her first year a sucess. How would you have felt 6 years ago if everyone pulled their kids out of your class becasue it was your first year teaching? Bright socially adept kids (like your son) are exactly the type of student she needs to help her though her fist year. Your son is clearly the type of kid that will learn and do great whereever he is. Now what can the two of you do to help his teacher.

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M.T.

answers from Kansas City on

I don't think that you are overreacting, but I bet if you change your perspective just a bit....it will help you to feel better.
-As an educator, I know you were a first year teacher once, think about how excited and nervous you were! I bet this teacher feels the same, and a few words of encouragement from a seasoned veteran as yourself would help the both of you to open up the lines of communication and start off on the right foot.
-As an educator I know that you realize that what goes on in the classroom is important, but it needs to be reinforced at home. How lucky your son is! He has two teachers who are going to help him every step of the way...that's awesome!
Good Luck!

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J.M.

answers from Kansas City on

J., I have a son who is a first grader this year, so as a mom I understand your concerns, but I am also entering my junior year - working on my degree in elementary education. One day soon I will be a first year teacher too. I have confidence that my education will have prepared me to do a great job of teaching. I understand your concerns, but just think that you were once in her shoes and how devastating it would have been for your students parents to not have faith in your abilities. Perhaps if you see problems you could mentor her.

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J.H.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi J.,

I am a former Montessori preschool teacher (turned school bus driver lol) and understand how you feel. My daughter has been placed with a new teacher the past three years. Kindy, 1st and now 2nd grade. I'll tell you, I couldn't have been more pleasantly surprised. I feel that the new teachers are so fresh out of school, so eager and excited to teach...that my little girl is really reaping the rewards of their energy. I also feel that the new teachers are especially interested in what we, as parents have to say and therefore take more time listening to us (not to say experienced teachers don't) which makes the relationship they ultimately have with our kids, more enriching. I say keep positive and rest assured that the school your little guy goes to only hires the best!

Let us know how it goes,
J.

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A.P.

answers from Kansas City on

The hardest part of Kindergarten is learning that our children are not only dependent upon us, but their teachers as well. I would bet your reaction is more because your first baby is going to school--not because of a teacher. I am sure you are not a person to judge someone without knowing them first :D And I also don't think that you would send your child to a school you did not have faith in either. This is a scary time for parents more so than for the kiddos I think. And no one ever talks about it! (JR high is just as bad, so I just found out yesterday)

Calm down, take a deep breath, and brace yourself for the first big step of letting go. It is hard, but you and your son will be fine.

A.

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J.J.

answers from Kansas City on

Ok, I can see both sides to this. I am currently going on my 4th year of teaching and I had a parent react this way my first year. They freaked out because I had never actually taught in the classroom. However, prior to that I had several years of child care experience, I worked with severe behavioral kiddos in a one to one and sometimes small group intensive environment, etc. I felt terrible and defeated at the beginning. IN my opinion, if those parents felt that way, I would have rather not had to deal with it. So, I can understand the new teacher and having gone through that it was difficult at times. I was very enthusiastic and I think the kids enjoyed being in my class. I can understand your feelings, as I struggle with the idea of if I made the right decision on where my two younger children are going for care while I am working. Teachers care so much about children and it is only expected that you feel this even more for your own kids. My suggestion is that you meet with the teacher and maybe an admin. and see how you feel. I think you should go with your instinct, as it is never wrong, and do what you feel. Just wondering, why are your kids not going to the same school as you? My son will start K next year and he is going to go to the elem. next door to the middle school I teach at even though we live outside of the district. THat may make things easier for you if you are in the same district. Good luck. LEt me know how it goes, as I may be in a similar situation next year.

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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

OK. I'm a teacher too. This is my 13th year. In my experience, first year teachers are sometimes a problem, but more often they are the most enthusiastic and sometimes the best teachers I've seen. They are not even close to being burned out, they are most likely up on researched based education, which is what you want. You don't want a teacher who teaches a certain topic or certain method because he/she has always done it that way, rather than because it is sound education. Give your son's teacher a break. Your doubts will most certainly not help her to have a good year. You know it is hard to be at your best when you feel like you are being scrutinized constantly.

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J.O.

answers from Kansas City on

I think that focusing on the first-year teacher thing is taking focus off of the real issue: you are sending your first child to kindergarten. If you did not worry about the first year teacher, you would worry about something else. You need to decide now if you will be a parent who partners with her child's teachers to educate him or if you will be a parent who supervises and criticizes her child's teacher. Do not let yourself fall into the trap of assuming that an inexperienced teacher is an effective teacher. Do not assume that because you are a teacher, that you will know exactly how your own child's teacher should be/act/think/teach, etc. Just relax and be positive and see how he does. I have wasted many hours worrying over my children's teachers and it was wasted time. My oldest daughter's kindergarten teacher was a veteran of 30 or so years. My daughter's class was her last class before retiring. The woman terrified me! Really! And she was the BEST teacher for my daughter. I would NEVER have picked her--she totally rubbed me the wrong way. But my daughter adored her and this teacher was just what my girl needed.

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W.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi J.,
I just wanted to respond even though I am not a teacher. I just wanted to say that my oldest son 15 y/o now, his kindergarten teacher was in her first year of teaching. She was awesomel, I really loved her and hope my other children get to have her. My 6 y/o son, his teacher just retired this last year, she had been a teacher for 30 years, I liked her just as much as was sad when she retired.
Anyway everyone has to get started somewhere, just as you did, W.

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J.S.

answers from Kansas City on

New teachers can be a good thing. When my sister was a new teacher some children parents requested their child to be in other classes. That hurt my sisters feelings. Everyone has to start somewhere. From what I have seen new teachers are so excited about their class and do a good job. Besides they have already had to student teach. Sometimes when a teacher has been teaching for so long, they lost interest it. My best advice for you is give it a shot. I am sure the teacher will do great. Besides if you have problems with her later then you can bring it up with your sons principal. They wouldn't have hired the teacher if they didn't think they could do the job

M.A.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi J.,

I am a teacher, I have been teaching for 7 years....not any more since I am working form home now. But I understand your concern, Experienced teachers knows best, but sometimes, new teachers are more excited about the new opportunity and also they work harder too. I had good and not so good experiences with both. My worst experience was with a very experienced teacher though, she was too used to do the same evey year that she is almost a robot with no feelings and treat all the children the same way, she is getting old for the job, she shouldn't be a kindergarten teacher any more (Most moms think this way, it's not just me), she has no patience at all, and to tell you the truth, my first year teaching was the best! I adored those children and since I did not have children of my own at that time, I teated them as my own. I know that I did an excelent job.
Not all teachers are the same, talk with her, get to know her, may be she is good or better yet great! And for kindergarten is not that important if academically the teacher is not the best, I think that is more important that she makes them feel loved and care for them, this is the time in where the kids develop a sense of self esteem very important. Knowledge....they will learn how to read and write before they get married...:)
Just kidding, hope your teacher is a loving and caring one!
Mariana Abadie
www.MyKidsfirst.com

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M.O.

answers from Kansas City on

How is that teacher supposed to become experienced if people do not want their kids in her class?

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