Any Other Moms Feel the Same Way?!

I, too, became "THAT" mom... sigh...

And isn't it so completely annoying to be around really new first time moms, or women pregnant with their first child, who are still enjoying their delusion about how they'll do everything right? Don't you wish on one hand that you could just slap them or shake them into what we now know is reality? And on the other hand, secretly laugh at them because you KNOW that they, too, will most probably become "THAT" mom?

Read "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids." It might help you feel better and help you to realize that a lot of moms feel like this :)

I swore I wouldn't let my son watch (or at least a lot!) but when he was teething baby eintein was the only thing that kept him calm so I let him watch. I also let my son go through his food phases (which I swore I would never give into...I still won't cook seperate meals but if he wants something quick...) right now its cheese its crackers it was cheerioes before that and green beans before that

I have a 12 yo and 10 yo. You will quickly learn it's all about choosing your battles - both with your child(ren) and yourself. I now firmly believe in a well placed bribe, that 30 min of mindless PBS TV for the kids gets me a shower, a Dum Dum lollipop can cure the worst of hurts, and Kraft mac & cheese w/ it's day glow powdered cheese packet is a food group all it's own.

you became THAT mom when you realized your kids' happiness is your happiness.
:)
o

The "mom" you had in your brain was largely a myth. If your kids are happy and healthy, you're doing a good job.

You became THAT mom when the reality of motherhood hit you like a ton of bricks, lol. Just wait, there will also come a time in his life when he goes with you to the grocery store in swimming trunks, a sweater in a contrasting color and cowboy boots :) Sometimes in parenting, its about choosing your battles and realizing that being relaxed and just "going with the flow" instead of doing what seems to be "the right thing to do." Sit down and enjoy the cartoons with him, or take advantage of the time he is ocupied and enjoy a cup of coffee in peace :)

Heehee hee! Great post.
My MIL shared with me early on some valued advice she got from a pediatrician years ago.
"your kids will grow up and be just fine inspite of what you do."
So organic or oreo, if the proper love and care are in place they will surely turn out exactly as God intended them to :)

We are real mom's!! Those who never turn the TV on, eat only organic food, cook wholesome food every night, have a spotless home, and still have time to play with their kids are either on drugs or fake. There is no way to do it all. I'd rather feed my kids eggo's with whipped cream to see them smile and have a dirty home to play with them, or even cuddle with them and watch a movie or two!! Yep, OR TWO!! lol...whatever makes my kids happy is what I do. They don't always get their way, but when we are THIS mom, that means we are the best kind!! Enjoy!

Welcome to the real motherhood!

What's wrong with this mom? Some TV is not bad, and there is nothing wrong with Character clothing, when I take my daycare kindergardner to school I see tinker bell, icarley, batman spider man shirts and backpacks, there's nothing wrong with that. And if you played outside with your child all day
what would the inside of your house look like, nothing wrong with eggo pancakes, relax this sounds like normal to me, and I have been a mom for 26 years. J.

Just like everything else -there's the "real" and the "ideal"! However, what I consider ideal has changed quite a bit since my first pregnancy. Now I consider getting to spend quality time with my kids and seeing their faces light up to be the hallmark of "ideal." This may occur because we're playing outside OR watching Scooby Doo. It may happen because I just handed my oldest son a big bowl of fresh, organic blueberries OR a giant bowl of gummy worm ice cream. Right now he's at all day PreK with a Spiderman backpack and Batman crocs on, and he loves it! The image I had of myself as a mother is definitely different than what I truly am as a mother, but I'm getting more okay with that every day. Love your kids and do your best for them, and they'll most likely be fine.

So many of us are so delusional and often judgemental before we have children. We fantasize about our new identity and how we will do everything right and how our baby will be wonderful and perfect because well, we do everything right!! I do feed my son organic because I feel that is important for him BUT he eats french fries every day (not organic though) ,at almost 2 1/2 I am the one sitting and feeding him oatmeal every morning in front of the TV (horror!!) and I still nurse him before bed (NEVER did I think we would go this long). Just remember you are doing most things right and seriously, what kind of lunch box did you think your son would like? lol

Reality bites.
We all have illusions of grandeur when we aren't living the life... We do the best we can with the hand we've been dealt. Some moms can seem to do it all - they can veggies, they make home made everything, they quilt, they sew, they seem to do it all - but do they really do it all? Something has to give, right?
Is your child happy?
Is your child healthy?
Is your child loved?
That's all that really matters...
LBC

I am totally THAT mom. Minus the character clothing and accessories. Haven't gone that route yet....but mine are both still young so it could still happen...LOL!

LOVE THIS POST!

This whole motherhood gig has taught me one thing...Never Say "Never". You just set yourself up for failure.

I couldn't agree more with Lee. I laugh inside when I hear new or pregnant moms talk about how they "never" would allow this or that. They haven't felt the brunt of motherhood yet until they are faced with its various challenges/decisions. We all know the standards change from no tv, organic veggies all the time, no naughty behavior allowed to are they happy, healthy and safe?

GREAT POST! I know the feeling before i had my son i said i would NEVER let him wear chracter clothes and last week i bought him dr. susse shirts and he has a buzz lightyear sippy cup.and he loves to watch Nick Jr all the time! And i always said i would never put my child in daycare, i didnt want to be the mom who only gets 4 hours a day with their child but thats who i am and it makes me sad everyday when he cries when i have to leave....but i guess we gotta do what we gotta do to provide for our little ones. And if it makes them happy to eat pancakes and watch scooby doo thats all that matters!! Bless You Mama.

well so far i am mostly that mom, but only bc i have one child, i am a stay at home mom, and the babies only 10 months old. i am certain it won't last forever (i'm betting it won't last the next 2 months!). the funny thing, i never wanted my babies to have pacifiers (of course before i had a baby). about a day after he was born he was sooo fussy, had trouble nursing but always wanted something in his mouth. i tried to give him a pacifier. to this day... he's sucked on fingers (mine, not his), and has wanted to nurse constantly and i still wish he would have taken to pacifiers! I bought 4 kinds!!! he wouldn't take any!

Life is what happens while you are making other plans! As they get older you can steer a bit more to your original ideal, but it won't always go that way. Enjoy the ride!

The first time I stuck my beautiful untainted baby girl in front of the TV, I thought "Well, now I'm a bad Mommy", but .... geez ... sometimes I just want to use the bathroom alone!! And, besides, do you really want your little ones to be the "weird kids" that can't eat any sugar or watch any of the "cool" TV shows? Thanks for my morning giggle!

HAHAHAHA!!!!! This is hilarious! I went through the exact same thing with my 3 kids. In the end I accepted that I was doing the best I could and my kids were going to be just fine (better than fine, actually, they're pretty awesome!). My sister used to scold me for letting my kids watch Spongebob or buy yet another Barbie doll. HER child was going to only have wooden blocks and European baby dolls to play with and only the best homemade organic food. But now that she has a 3yr old herself, I often see my niece sitting on her Disney Princess fold out chair while watching Dora the Explorer and snacking on Tinkerbell Fruit Gummies. I've really tried hard to keep the "I TOLD YOU SO!" she so deserves to myself!

Me too! But, BOY is my son LOVED!

I see nothing wrong with being that mom. My own mom was that mom and she loves and respects and values me more than anyone in the world. That's all that really matters. I'm happy to say I'm that mom, too!

LOL! I'm "that mom" too. There are days I feel bad because I'm not the kind of mom I wanted to be. But most of the time I'm just happy that my kids are happy and healthy (despite not eating organic and home made foods all the time:)

Gotta chime in for team never say "never"! :D How quickly we all learn that lesson. lol. I really thought I had eaten all the words I could eat by the time my third child came along... but nope. There were still plenty left to eat.

Welcome to the club of "When I'm a mom I will NEVER do what she's doing with her kid" HAHA!
I think what you have become as a mom is great. There are balances in this world. So let him have an eggo for breakfast and then give him an apple for snack. The fact you bought the character lunch box just to see the happiness it brought him proves you are a loving mom doing right by her child :)
L.

Uh.. you took the words right out of my mouth. The fact is that when we make this grand "plan" we forget that we need some time off too! We just CANNOT at all times be that perfect person whos cooking for their kids, coming up with constructive/creative activities to do all day long to prevent them from watching tv etc. As long as we let them do all that stuff in moderation i think we're ok. And you know whats best for your kids. You're not doing anything wrong!

I believe the official diagnosis is called "delusions of grandeur"...lol.

If you spent all your time being that other mom, you'd go nuts and your kid would grow up to be that kid that all the other kids pick on. You have to loosen up sometimes. Really, focus on the important things, a good balance of nutritious food (so you're not that mom giving him Coca-Cola in a baby bottle), decent TV (so he's not that kid watching Power Rangers and trying to beat up his friends), and fun clothes (So he's not wearing ripped up nasty clothes). You could always be worse. Just be the best you can be, and don't worry about being perfect.

Oh man am I so glad I just read your post.....you (and the other moms who posted) just made me feel so much better about myself.

My daughter is healthy and well loved....I guess I can cut my self some slack for letting her watch pbs tv and eat goldfish crackers :-)

You are SO not alone! Reading your post was like looking in the mirror. Ideals are nice, but reality is what it is. Every day I tell myself I should be doing better, but...as long as everyone involved is happy and healthy, it's time we cut ourselves some slack!

Thank you for exhaling for so many of us!

I agree for the most part, I also told myself I wouldn't let my daughter watch TV until she's 2! She's 18 months now, she LOVES Thomas and Caillou, oh and Curious George of course. I know it isn't the best for her, but it's not the end of the world. We do try to go outside every day though, if we don't she doesn't sleep well. When it comes to wholesome and/or organic food though, that's not something I could live without as a mom. We just don't have any junk food in our house, and honestly we would not be able to afford the doctor's bills that come with eating unhealthy food. Perhaps I don't have a gourmet meal on the table every night, but at least I know I'm trying my best. I've learned the hard way that healthy food is important, I let her eat whatever junk at grandma's and we ended up with food poisoning. Now we stay away from processed foods and buy organic as much as we can afford.
PS: My daughter loves her little Thomas the Tank-engine toy!

I have not read the other responses yet but I have one word:

Survival!

Don't beat yourself up. I feel the same exact way as you

Good times LOL! You are clothing them and feeding them, and the books do recommend this every day! All in moderation :) Know that you are in good company!!!

i don't have much more to add since all the other posters covered it so well. but, i truly enjoyed reading your post and all the comments. i am exactly the same way! i find myself every day putting too much pressure on myself about what is "okay" and "not okay" for my son to do/eat/etc. i constantly worry about the lifelong effects my decisions will have on him! it's crazy making! since becoming a mom, i find myself telling others who are not yet moms that no one can ever prepare you for motherhood. i was definitely that pregnant woman who would say "i will never" but until you are actually a mother, you don't know what you will do!
thanks for your post and letting me know i'm not alone!:)

I have read the other posts and agree, especially with the "Never say never" statement. That was a tough lesson to learn, but I have definitely learned it! :)

I too had the ideal in my head of how we would raise our daughter (only now 3, so lots of years left to go), and many of those absolutes have gone by the wayside. However, in the end, we make decisions on what is really important to us to maintain and try our best to stick to those things and don't stress about the rest.

For example, we decided that we would not expose our daughter to TV before she was 2 years old, and that it was really important to us. So, we stuck to it! She now gets to watch sesame street, and that's it (besides when the red sox are on!), and we're fine with that. We always give her organic milk - that's important to us. However, if we're out and about do we stress about it? nope.

Like other posters said, the most important thing is for our kids to feel safe, be loved and kept healthy in both body and mind. How we get to that point is an individual thing that no one else should judge.

I wish there was a "like" button! I feel bad every time I let my daughter eat vienna sausages, but she loves the gross things! :-)

Lol... I was just talking to a friend about how before I had kids I used to look at the car of someone who had a kid (toys everywhere, sticky spots, crumbs crusted to the seat) and say I would never let my car get like this.... well 2 kids later and my car is disgusting. I clean it out and its trashed within two days. After having kids you realize what's really important and that things almost never go as planned.