My husband and I are going thru divorce proceedings. When I try to have a conversation with my ex on various things we constantly are butting heads. What is the best way to deal with him? I have tried various of things with him but we still get into arguments. Some of the conversations have to do with our son, but he refuses to listen to my point of view. Any advice?
I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I suggest you guys find a mediator in your area, and meet with him/her as a couple. Maybe you can work out some rules for conduct for the kids and communication for you guys.
This site does a search for mediators in your area:
http://www.mediate.com/mediator/
Good luck.
You may be able to get some tips from http://www.MrDad.com.
Hi. I'm sorry for what you and your children are going through. My son's father and I split up when my son was 1 year old. He's 7 now. At first my ex was very sweet & did everything he could to be nice and get along with me because he wanted to get back together. When he realized that it wasn't going to happen (about 5 months later) things turned really bad. He would do the same things your soon-to-be-ex is doing. I'd like to say that things have gotten better, but since his wedding in '05, things have gotten worse. But instead of allowing him to yell at me and treat me like dirt in front of my son, I will only communicate via notes on the weekend if necessary. This is great because it serves many purposes. 1. I don't have to hear him scream at me. 2. Everything is documented....(I save every note that I write or that I get from him.) 3. My children have no reason to be affraid when he is on my property. 4. He actually gets to know what I need him to. If writing does not help, I would suggest have a neutral party be involved in the pick ups and drop offs of your children. I have had many battles with my ex in and out of court. I have learned what needs to be done (unfortunately). I hope that everything works out for you. I would like to give you one more piece of advice.....should he start putting your children in harms way, go to the police and have it documented immediately! That way, if there ever comes a day when you also have to visit family court again, you will have proof of his actions. Please don't make the same mistake that I always made. I gave my ex the benefit of the doubt way too much. I have now learned that nothing matters more than being strong and fighting for what is right for my children.
What if you put what you want to say in writing, an email or letter. That way he can't interrupt, and also it gives you a chance to make your point clear and concise. Only thing is, you can't be sure he'll actually read it. Just a thought.
F.,
My ex-husband and I have always had a hard time getting along.
We argue about everything,especially the children. I just always tried to stay calm and to let him tell his side first (at First) which kinda made him realize that I actually wanted to communicate VS argue all the time. I hope this helps.
T.
