Any Adice Re: 10 m.o. Boy Twin Biting?

Wow boy/girl twins me too. Finally I meet someone my twins are 9 mos b-day 3/5/06. Anyway as for the biting my twin boy does that too. He crawls up and bites your thigh when you are sitting on the couch or when you are holding him he will bite your finger. My husband and I say we would rather put a cheerio in our 90lb labs mouth then Aidans mouth. Anyway I just tell him no no just like I do when he is doing something else that he shouldn't be doing and I say it really firm. He cries a little because he hates to be told no no but he has slowed down on the biting...now if I could just get him to stop pulling Morgans hair. If you wanna chat about the parallels of twins I'm at ____@____.com

Hi A.,

It's been awhile since I had a 10mo (and my boy is brand new), but my girls, though totally different personalities both had a biting phase. But what worked for both of them was simple.

I did bite back --- not out of anger, but not playfully either, and only once ... just hard enough to be uncomfortable and not something that they would want to encourage again.

My thinking is that they really don't know what it's like to be on the receiving end until they know and it has to be as a specific response to their actions, not just a random act.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in favor of any sort of physical punishment --- I am the time-out queen! BUT there are times when I find I get a lot more mileage out of showing rather than telling -- especially when they're too little to 'reason' with yet.

Find a way to make it unpleasant -- or perhaps more pleasant to interact in a different way -- cause and effect are great teachers.

Good luck to you :)

A.

I think your son is probably just exploring a new feeling that he has with his new teeth. It is probably just something he does because it feels different. I would suggest doing the same thing you should do whenever he does something wrong, give him a firm "NO" and explain that it hurts with an "OUCH" or whatever you use to let him know that something will hurt him. Teach him in his own language. I tried this with my son and it worked but I also had to show him how it felt, though I am not sure it's the right thing to do, I did bite back once or twice hard enough to show him how it felt. With my son we thought it was cute at first and we laughed but then it got more painful and it wasn't so funny. He may be enjoying the new reaction he's getting but not realizing it isn't a good one. It is just a phase that they go through but it's not a pleasant one. Good luck.

I have triplets and one of my boys does the same thing. They just turned 11 months. My other babies are always running from him and we had to make sure that the cribs are far apart so that no one gets a finger bit! I have been trying not to react when he bites me, even though it really hurts, because I think that he enjoys the attention and thinks thast the reaction is very funny. He is delighted when the others cry and fuss when he bites them. I have an 8 year old boy, too and one thing I know is that this too will pass. He used to slap me across the face every time that I would come into the room. That was his way of showing that he was excited to see me. Now he is very gentle and loving and wouldn't hurt a fly if that encourages you. Good luck and get some sleep.
Meredith

Hi A.,

I have 16mth old twin girls. And they too like to bite. So did my other kids at that age. It's been my experience that most kids bite one time or another. So don't worry that he's doing something out of the ordinary. I found that one...since they can't talk it's a way of communicating with others to tell you they don't like something. Two...as funny as it may sound...that's another way for them to play. My girls smile too after they have biten as if they are teasing. They don't realize that it's something that shouldn't be done...and that's it's painful. As fruitless as it may seem at the time, tell him no, show your disapproval by using a stern voice, use consequences if he doesn't stop. Example: If you keep biting/hurting me I am not going to play with you. With my girls, I separate them, not allowing them to play for a couple of minutes. Almost like a mini time out. Eventually they grow out of it, as they start to be able to communicate and understand words more and more.

I know that this is a long time after the fact, but this is an EXCELLENT resource on biting. http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/linda_passmark.html

I know they are still young now, but when they do get older and if they still bite ask them if they intend to eat their sibling. LOL I know it sounds morbid. This is how I broke my step-daughter when she was 4yrs old and biting everybody. I just asked her if she was going to eat her brother. When she said no, I said then please stop tasting him, we only bite our food. Ta-da!

I have 14 month old twin boys and I found that I need to scold family members or friends who laugh when the boys bite them. I think it's a natural reaction to laugh when someone comes up and bites you out of nowhere, but make sure no one is "encouraging" them by doing that. Also, when they would bite me, I would say, "no biting is bad" and then I would put my fingers up to their mouth and tell them no again so they knew I was saying no to what they were doing with their mouths. I hope this helps and if you have any other tips, let me know please because my way isn't fool proof!

A.
when you find out how to stop biting let me know please. i have 29 month old twin girls and one has always biten since she got her first tooth. she doesn't bite anyone else except her sister. my other twin has a bad bite mark right close to the belly button, courtesy of her twin sister. i am very disappointed at her behavior but have not find a way to stop it
someone has told me to bite back and let her feel the pain. well i am not biting my child so i'd rather keep my eyes open at all times then bite back. our ped. has told is it is a sign of jeaolusy, because of constant competition from the otehr twin
lots of hugs to your babies
vlora

Hi A. I am also a Sahm to 3 and a half year old B/G twins. My son went through the biting phase also. By being firm and telling him that biting was not nice he did eventually stop. Now his twin does the biting thing when she gets angry, I do the same with her and it has gotten alot better especially when you catch her in the act, good luck and if you want to chat I am looking for other moms with twins to talk to because like you this is a new experience for me also. You can contact me at ____@____.com

I have a two year old son and although he does not bite he does hit and kick when he gets very angry or frustrated as you said your son does, My son has a behavioral coordinator, who is helping him to talk more as he does not say many words, I recently just asked her how to handle such tantrums and she told me that the best thing to do when he is doing these things is to redirect his attention to something else and not make a huge deal of the tantrum at hand. To my surprise it worked and I was so thrilled so maybe even though your son is only 10 mos. old you could try this as well. Hope this helps.

I know how frustrating biting can be, and it hurts.When your son bites his sister I would say,"You do not bite"!!!!Get down to his level(on the floor) and tell him mommy said, "do not bite".When he bites you, you may even want to yell(not loud, but to get his attention)...OUCH!!!!!!!!!THAT HURTS!!!!!!!NO BITING!!!!!!!
Then when he looks at you funny because you yelled ouch, and stuff...you can say mommy loves kisses, and kiss him....mommy loves hugs...and hug him......

I found my 10 month old only does this when he is getting a new tooth!