My son is 11 years old today. It seems every year on his birthday he becomes terribly sick. Today he called from school and said he felt weak and had a headache. Has anybody else experienced this with their child. Is it birthday anxiety? From the age of 3 it seems this always happens...
between my 3 sisters and i one of our kids were always sick either on their birthday or worse yet, on christmas.... i certainly dont know for sure, but i would definately say anxiety. just part of growing up. please dont worry about it.
My 9 year old has a lot of anxiety. He bites his sleeves, has trouble sleeping at night etc. He hates his birthday. In past years, his grandparents have a made a very big deal- sing to him etc and he cries - gets in trouble for being rude and then cries more. I was so tired of him crying on his birthday that this year, I let him take the lead. He told me he didn't want any presents. I figured it wasn't the presents, but the attention. So - we compromised. Grandparenst got him a gift card and he went out to breakfast with them. I think that just feeling in control was very reassuring for him. We had no tears this year. My husband was very shy and he says that he felt the same. Remember, being shy and having self-confidence are two different things. I don't agree with making your kids do something out of their comfort zone. Don't let them off the hook - but provide options so that they feel in control.
Hmm, interesting. How about letting him have a birthday day off? I often allowed my kids to take a birthday day off school the week of their birthday. (And hardly ever the rest of the year.)
Hi, E.,
As a former teacher, current psychology grad student, and someone who has battled social anxiety, I don't think that it's a good idea to let your son take the day off just because he has social anxiety (if that is what he is experiencing). The sooner a person deals with his anxiety the better his life will be! I knew that crawling under a rock and skipping interviews and meetings was not the answer for me. To deal with my social anxiety, which had plagued me for a few years and still does (at 44) to a much lesser degree, I read some books on social anxiety and did EMDR with a very smart psychotherapist. Life is better now that I feel as though I can survive interviews and one-on-one meetings with people in the position to judge me--no matter what the outcome.
To reiterate, unless your son is physically ill for a physical reason (not experiencing a psychosomatic illness), I recommend helping him deal with his anxiety by talking to him about anxiety, taking him to a psychotherapist if necessary, and taking him to school on his birthday.
Best wishes,
Lynne E.
Does he get embarrased easily? or is he shy? At school they might be singing happy birthday to him with everyone staring at him, making him feel uncomfortable.
Happy Birthday!
Growth spurt? Hormones?
Could it be that he's worried about who will and won't remember his birthday?
My son also seems to get sick on his birthday. He's 8y. One year he got the chicken pox!
For my son, its usually anxiety over taking in a snack to school for his birthday. 'What if my friends don't like what I take?'. He also does it to try to get to stay home. Both hubby and I take off work for our respective birthdays, so boy think he should get to take off from school.
M.
Wow, that's very interesting and I'm glad you shared. We have had to reschedule 3 of the last 4 birthday parties because my son, now 6, has gotten sick the day of or night beforehand! I am going to keep my feelers up next year and see if I sense anxiety. I wouldn't describe him as anxious generally, but we hardly have a holiday picture with him smiling. Until this year, it seemed like Christmas was "work" for him. Thanks for the heads up, and I wish you luck.
