Hi,
I am sorry to hear your son no longer qualifies for speech. That is awful they are cut and dry like that about the cutoff when he is still behind. Getting services can be SO frustrating. We have been through it with our son as well.
I would highly suggest getting an evaluation done privately. Look for Anne Milanese at CCMC for a developmental evaluation. Another option is Marianne Barton at UConn. We have had our son evaluated by both and felt Dr. Barton to be more thorough, but she was expensive and does not take most insurances. Dr. Milanese was covered by our insurance. There are big wait lists at both, but our EI group was able to get us in to see Dr. Milanese with very little wait. Ask your EI coordinator if they can help.
You will get more/better info regarding your son's milestones and what is appropriate therapy for him if you seek an outside eval. As you approach age 3 this is especially important as he will transition into the public school system for therapies and having outside evals always helps to ensure he continues therapy.
My son was alot like your son at that age as well- not wanting to socialize with kids his age, not recognizing himself or not saying his name. The play stuff can be normal, but could also be part of larger issues- it's different for every child. I don't mean to scare you or insinuate anything about your son, but my son with similar issues is on the autism spectrum. He is high functioning, but he is on the spectrum. That said, he has made amazing progress since he was 2 years old. He will be 4 next month and is talking up a storm now and playing better (not totally up to average age, but better) with his peers.
It sounds like your EI team has concerns but is not meeting his needs. If they are concerned with such things, they should be encouraging OT or other therapy with an EI associate. You should push for more speech as well if he is still scoring 7 months behind. When we hit this point with out son and he was being denied services, I found out that they will not provide more than 3 hours per week of anything unless a child has an outside eval and diagnosis of some type. Ask about that- they might not be telling you if there is a rule like that.
Seek an outside eval to get better answers and if you have trouble getting an appointment, ask your EI team if they can help get him in anywhere.
Hang in there... it can be frustrating with kids this age trying to understand the milestones and trying to navigate the system for therapies.