If you chose to circumcise, did you feel judged by others? If you chose not to, did you you feel judged by others? My sister did not do her boys and we have gotten into fights about it because she is so preachy about it. (I could care less if others do or don't). I know if we don't do it, my MIL will freak out, I know if we do, my sister and BIL will judge (hopefully silently). I don't buy the argument that it traumatizes the baby--why would snipping off a piece of skin (possibly with local anesthesia) be any more traumatic than being compressed in the birth canal for hours on end? But also, I don't like the attitude of those who wrinkle their noses and say "It's just cleaner," (my best friend) because those myths have been debunked. Why can't we just live and let live? To Snip or Snip, that is the question!
**I should add, that I just realized, I would probably care less what others think if I DID have strong feelings one way or the other. But I don't. I feel wishy-washy about it and even though we will be making a VERY informed decision, I see pros and cons to both and therefore it is weighing heavily on my mind.
Thanks. I love getting all of the input. Dawn, when my sister and I got into the fight, it was not one of us arguing pro and one of us are arguing con, it was that we didn't know the sex of our second baby and when she asked what we would do if we had a boy(since she already had one). I said we would probably get him circumcised since his dad is. I then got a very heated lecture on the subject. I never once told her I thought she did the wrong thing and I resented being told I was cruel, heartless, uninformed etc. When the baby was a girl, I was like THANK GOD! :) Maybe this is more of a family issue than a societal one! :) At least with my clan! I think people will be more likely to keep their mouths shut once the baby has been born and we have already made the decision. Right now it's like certain people feel like they need to try to convince us one way or the other. And frankly, guys who aren't circumcised love their penises, guys who are, love their penises. It's the women and mothers who get all judgy and bitchy about it. :)
My son's was done in the hospital when he was 2 days old, with local anesthesia, and it healed beautifully. I also felt wishy-washy, but daddy is and wanted it done. I believe he also had a friend who had to have it done in his teens for medical reasons and it was NOT a happy experience. Don't talk about it or bring it up with her. (I'm assuming she's always annoying ;) It's none of her business.
Almost half of young boys are not being circumcised these days, so the "locker room" thing and the dating scene should be much less of a perceived problem by the time they grow up. "A report by the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality placed the 2005 national circumcision rate at 56%."
There are cases of complications from circumcision. Significant blood loss and/or infection occurs in from 2-10% of infants. Some complications are ongoing and have to be fixed surgically later in life.
117 boys die in the US each year from complications of circumcision.
There is absolutely no medical reason to perform this surgery on an infant and the major medical organizations in the US do not recommend it.
Personally, if when my daughter was born, I had been pressured to surgically remove any piece of her I would've fought it tooth and nail.
I, personally, wont do it. It's not necessary and I feel should only be done for a specific medical need or a religious preference. America is the only country that routinely circumcises, and it was because they thought it would keep little boys from masturbating. Which is a total crock, obviously. I mean, if you want to, do it, but about half of little boys aren't being cut anymore in the US, so it's not as big a deal as it once was.
It's sad that motherhood is divided by 'issues' and that opinions become judgements.
We did circumcise both of our boys. We did it because we wanted them to 'look' like their father. We did not want them to come running into the bathroom while he was taking a shower and say "hey, why do I look different?"
I don't think either boy was traumatize by this event. They are both healthy, well socialized, above grade level individuals. They cried very little during the event when they were infants. The fact that they are circumcised never comes up.(maybe this isn't a good way of saying they don't talk about it:) )
But, I don't care who is and who isn't. We had to do what was right for our family at that time and so do all other families. When I became pregnant a third time, I found out immediately that we were having a girl (happens when you find out at 16 1/2 weeks along) and I do remember thinking, "Oh good, I won't have to make that decision again." But of course, many other decisions have to made for and about her all the time.
Good luck!
Here in the US the culture has been to circumcise. You will find world wide it is viewed as a religious thing. I think it is more traumatic for the parents than the baby, yes it will hurt but the pain will subside. I didn't circumcise my son, because it is unnecessary.He is 3 yrs old and has never had any probs. I'm from the UK where it hasn't been done routinely for years.There is research to support both arguments, so what if he looks different to daddy, in the locker room it wont be an issue, as 50% of the male pop don't get it done.
In the end it is your decision, by the time he is 6 mnths old all the furore from your family will have died down and they will be onto something else.
Just add that to the list of what people will judge you for! Have I been judged, because of my choices (one was to circumcise)...absolutely. I feel comfortable with my choices, so I don't get down about it. I have a happy, healthy, very smart child. That's all that matters to me and if someone thinks I'm a bad parent for circumcising, so be it.
You are correct people feel that their decision is correct. So if you make the opposite decision, they feel the need to "correct" you. I think it's some kind of human response because it is so common. I am afraid I am guilty of the same at times. My boys are not circumcised. I think boys were made that way and we don't need to change it. I also think it is hippocritiable to be upset about female circumcision and not male circumcision. - can you feel the emotions building? You have to make your own choice. There will people who disagree with you. Because your MIL will freak out, is NOT a reason to circumcise. You and your husband need to make this decision, not your MIL.
I agree, seriously, what is the big deal?? Some people do, some people don't. As long as the baby gets a little local anesthesia it is not really a big deal. And if you decide not to circumsize and leave the baby as nature intended then it doesn't look "wierd", "gross", or "unclean". Most of the world does not circumsize and if you do, good for you!
My MIL was appalled when we chose not to circumcise our boys. We heard about it regularly for the first year, but not much after that, and then again just for a month or so with our second boy.
She's a nurse and she claims that just about every boy who comes through the day surgery center was having to have a circumcision for some reason. Seriously, I think that everytime I saw her for the first year I heard a story about some poor child that hadn't been circumcised and how the parents regretted it.
I opted to ignore her. My husband did have a talk with her (and reminded her that she did work some place that did deal with problems... all kinds of kid problems... and MOST boys had no problems being uncircumcised) and then we didn't hear so much about it after that.
I think you need to make your decision, then be prepared to ignore anyone who judges you on either side. It is a personal decision, and you have your reasons for why you went one way or the other.
J
first of all, having your appendix out and female circumcision are no where near comparable to male circ. Really, you couldn't come up wit ha better example??? Ok. off my soap box!
When I found out we were having a son, I immediately started researching. I made the mistake of watching part of a video and was convinced there was no way in hell I was doing that!! When I said something to my husband, he said it wasn't a discussion, it was being done. SO I agonized over it and talked to my mom and a pediatrician. The pediatrician said it was a very simple procedure and would only take a few minutes and that a local anesthetic was used. He said the babies were more upset about having their arms strapped down then the procedure. My mother advised doing it because my father wasn't cut and had serious complications with an infection as an adult and had to have it done then. He said it was the worst thing he's ever had done!! I talked to several people who knew men that had problems as teenagers or adults and it was very traumatic for them to go through the circ as adults. Knowing this, i jumped on the band wagon wioth my husband and we had him cut. He was only gone for the procedure for 10 minutes!!! He was very calm when he came in and it never seemed to bother him. We put vaseline on it for 1 week or so during diaper changes and that was that. I would do it again. I would rather do it now, when my son will have memory of it, then have him have it done as an adult and it be very difficult for him.
