Another Baby... - Elkridge,MD

My daughter is one month shy of 2 and a half. I am pregnant and due in June. I wanted them close enough to be friends and far enough that I don't feel like I am having TWO babies. My daughter is VERY dependent on me and I think it I got pregnant when she was 13 months that having a 2 yr old and a brand new born would just be too close, but that's just me. If you feel like you want to have TONS of kids then it would be important NOT to wait too long, but if you are just doing it to prevent fighting....that won't help. They will still fight over toys, boys, clothes...etc.

Remember to factor in the nine months pf pregnancy. Your 13 month old doesn't understand because she is too young. Even if you were pregnant now, she'd be closer to two years old. I wanted two years between my kids, and they are one minute apart (twins). Now, baby #3 is due when they are 2.5. Whatever you feel is right for the timing of your family will work out for you. It's a choice you need to make.

My sons are 3 3/4 years apart and it's been perfect. My oldest was old enough to help out and understand things a toddler wouldn't get (like mommy and baby bro NEEDED their naps). They've been the best of friends since I brought our second home from the hospital. Even now, as teenagers (13 and almost 17), they are still great friends. Yeah, they have their fights but they make up quickly and easily. My youngest keeps my oldest from getting too full of himself and my eldest helps guide my youngest to his true potential in a way that I can't. It's truly heartwarming.

I always thought 3 years apart was great (that's what me and my sister are), but, after seeing my boys together, I'm a huge fan of 4 years!

Good luck!

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i would wait to try until around 2 this way she is around 3 when the baby is born and just get her involved from the beginning from the ultrasounds to trying to pick a name and putting the clothes away and getting the babys room ready and having her help with bottles and diapers and all that stuff.

It isn't the time frame...it's the kids. Stop worrying about what is best for the children, and do what works best for you and your husband. If you bank on them being playmates...they will probably fight non-stop. If you wait until one is older to care for the other...the older will be too involved in sports or school to help. There is no right time, or age gap...there is no wrong. Go for it when "you feel ready," and the rest will fall into place. There is no magic number or age...because kids come with their own set of rules, thoughts, challenges, and personalities.

First of all, I think that there is an art to parenting kids and making each kid feel special enough to avoid sibling rivalry and jealousy. I'm not sure it is an age difference. My sister and I were seven years apart (from the same parents) and I swore I would never have kids that far apart. Guess what? My kids are seven years apart (from the same parents) and it's just too far.
I know my mom didn't mean to make me jealous but my dad traveled a lot and everything that went wrong seemed to be my fault. And when a cute little baby comes along and you are an awkward seven year old... the writing is on the wall...

I really thought I was going to have an only child and then I am so happy to say decided for one more! I had my baby girl and wouldn't trade her for the world though I do wish I had her closer to her brother so they would have had more in common and be closer because now they really are worlds apart. Almost as if they were raised in different households. I swore I wouldn't make the same mistakes but I am sure I did. I had terrible morning sickness and I am not sure how moms do it with young babies but seven years is just too far in-between regardless of how perfect of a parent you are!

My sisters and I are all 4 years apart (I'm the oldest). I only started getting close to my middle sister in the past few years; I hardly know my youngest sister (8 yrs younger!).

My older 2 daughters are 20 months apart, and my youngest is 2.5 years younger than the middle one. My older 2 love each other fiercely one minute, are terrorizing each other the next, then are back to the love before I register what's going on!! lol They're 4.5 and almost 3. The youngest is 11 weeks.

The older 2 *understand* that they need to be quiet, but that doesn't mean they always are - they're kids! But my baby's adapted (thank goodness!)

I love having them close in age. It's tough for the first little while. Life's a blur of nursing, diapers, potty training, etc. I hope they'll be close, but that's up to them :o)

So funny, I'm 3 years difference with my sister & we fought from day one & haven't stopped. We are just oil & water. My two are 14 months apart and they are like two peas in a pod. the older loves to teach the younger and he learns so quick with her teaching, my job is so much easier. I'm helping her to write properly and as I teach her, she turns around and repeats what i've told her to him and so she gets the extra learning and he thinks it is all a game. Working great for me and I think it is a great age diff, course you would need to hurry up to make it....LOL

My daughters are five years apart, which is wonderful for me but might eventually have some drawbacks.

The positive...my five year old is a HUGE help (I mean, with everything...calming fussy baby, fetching more diapers, fetching PJs, washing her in the tub, keeping her entertained while I shower, etc) and because she is older, she is very understanding that certain things are different "for now" and is very good at being quiet and entertaining herself when she needs to.

I imagine the negative would be "said" as being that they are too far apart to be playmates, but so far I haven't found that to be true. My five year old is a mature little girl, but she loves playing with the barn with the baby (who is now 9 months, and older is almost 6 years), stacking blocks for her to knock down, etc.

And looking down the line, I can see her wanting to teach her how to play games, etc...so for us, it's working great.

Mine are 28 months apart and so far it has worked out amazingly! I thought it would be a lot harder then it has been but my youngest is only 4 months old, so harder times may be coming? My son has adapted so well to his little sister, he absoultely adores her! I thought he would have jealousy issues since I am a stay at home mom and have been with him 24/7 since he was born. He has never been jealous of her, actually when my husband gets home from work and holds the baby he says "no daddy, that's mommas baby!" He helps me sometimes by getting me a diaper or wipes or by putting her pacifier back in her mouth when it falls out. Sometimes I will ask him to go get me something for her and he says no and I never make him do any of that, but usually he loves to help. I think personality has more to do with it then age. My son will be 3 in June, but he acts like a 4 year old and has the vocabulary of a 4 year old, so he understands things very well. Now that the baby is a little older she isn't such a sound sleeper anymore so I have to tell him to play quietly (over and over) but that almost never works so hopefully she will get used to all of the noise soon. So, for me their age difference is perfect but it's not like we knew it would turn out so well, so you never know. I got pregnant when my older one was 19 months old and we planned it that way because we knew we only wanted 2 kids and we wanted them to be 2 1/2-3 years apart and didn't know how soon I'd get pregnant, but I got pregnant right away. So, if ya ask me around 2 1/2 years apart is a good age difference :)

M., it doesn't matter much what age your first born is....if you want a baby now, then go for it now. I have 3 kiddos and another on the way. My first born just turned 11, my second is 8, my third is 4, and I'm due in late April. Each age brings about its own challenges so there really is no "good age difference." This pregnancy has been difficult for me where I've required a lot of rest and time and time again, between me and my husband, we've told our children that "mommy needs quiet time." Sometimes I get it...sometimes I don't. When a new baby comes into the family, the dynamics of the family changes no matter what the age differences are. You just learn to re-prioritize and go with the flow. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I think no matter what the age difference is, something will always be difficult. My first 2 are 2 1/2 years apart, the second and 3rd are 15 months apart. They all fight, and at times they all play well. My oldest was a champ through each of his siblings, my daughter had no clue what was going on when I brought a baby home when she was only a baby herself, and holy cripes was the first 18 months of my youngest son's life an absolute blur... My oldest son was always able to help in some way. Sometimes he wanted to and sometimes he didn't want to.

Follow your heart. Because in the end only what you and your husband decide is what matters.

Similar situation to yours. My sister is 3 years older than me and we were never great friends until she went to college.

My girls are 25 months apart and generally are doing great (now 2 1/2 and 6 months). The baby has adored her big sister from the very beginning and just laughs and laughs at her. I do have to constantly remind my toddler to be quiet while the baby is sleeping but I find taking her to a different room to do something "important" helps to keep her quiet. She is just now starting to demand more attention while I'm doing things with the baby but I think this is just because the baby is doing more (sitting, pulling up, trying to crawl).

We involved our first in the pregnancy from the first day. Every morning I would tell her "there's a baby in mommy's tummy!" and she also went to all of my appointments and ultrasounds. We read lots of books about babies and big sisters so when the I had the baby and when we all came home from the hospital she understood what was happening.

Kids adjust really easily.

My kids are 21 months apart. I started potty training my daughter at 18 months, and she night trained at 22 months. It was actually easy to train during pregnancy and then when the baby came--newborns are so easy, save for all the time you spend feeding them.

Yes, my 2 year old got mad when I had to tell her to wait and be quiet while I put the baby to sleep. Yes, she got jealous.

These are just issues you deal with. There is no perfect age gap that will make those issues go away.

With that said, my LO is now 14 months, and the two kids love playing together. I think they are a great age distance apart. My almost 3 year old runs up to her little brother all the time and says " I love you little buddy." She adores having him around, and while it was rough at the beginning (and she still sometimes is mean to him), it is working out great.